How do you react when someone offers you food you want but "shouldn't" have?

GirlonBliss
GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
edited July 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?
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Replies

  • Ricksh1000
    Ricksh1000 Posts: 88 Member
    edited July 2016
    As above for me!

    Must say though when i have declined it felt great :)
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
    I generally just say "No, thank you".
  • JustynW
    JustynW Posts: 1 Member
    Unless it fits in my macros, (which it usually doesnt because im doing ketosis) i decline. Don't need the extra calories wasted when I can save it for a good meal.
  • llbrixon
    llbrixon Posts: 964 Member
    This is one of my food rules... Automatic no for any foods offered to me.
  • santje00
    santje00 Posts: 95 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    I say "no thanks", but often get annoyed and even angry at people having this food around me. I know it sounds silly, but I can get frustrated with people eating something they should not have, since it could jeopardise their health. At other times, I crack and give in. Feeling horrible afterwards of course.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    edited July 2016
    I just say "damn! i can't today. Maybe next time".

    I make it clear that i'm appreciative and to continue to offer me things in the future. In general there are days i can and cant swing the extra cals.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    I say 'look delicious, but no thank you'

    when pressed ' no thank you I don't want any'

    when really pressed I say 'seriously no thank you'

    if they keep going they get a :huh:
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    santje00 wrote: »
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    I say "no thanks", but often get annoyed and even angry at people having this food around me. I know it sounds silly, but I can get frustrated with people eating something they should not have, since it could jeopardise their health. At other times, I crack and give in. Feeling horrible afterwards of course.

    This sounds like an unhealthy attitude, I just hope you are careful.
  • ziggy2006
    ziggy2006 Posts: 255 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    Just because you may have a feeling doesn't necessarily mean that your feeling is reality. I think the most powerful question you can ask yourself if it feels like someone is sabotaging your diet is, "Am I sure?" If you don't have convincing evidence that the person is actually trying to sabotage you, then it is probably unwise to jump to that conclusion.

    I don't feel guilty regardless of my decision because I don't use should and shouldn't statements, as they are just a way to set yourself up to feel bad about yourself. Whether or not I accept food offered to me depends on the individual circumstances. My first reaction is usually to refuse, because in my profession, we seem to get offered a lot of empty calories. But sometimes I decide to work the treat into my daily allotment. Whichever decision I make, I take responsibility for it, consider it a learning experience if I am later unhappy with my choice, and move on.

    I don't feel any guilt about either accepting or declining offered food. People don't care about my food choices. If someone is upset by my choices regarding the food I consume, that is on them and not something I can (or would care to even if I could) control.
  • gillie80
    gillie80 Posts: 214 Member
    rainbowbow wrote: »
    I just say "damn! i can't today. Maybe next time".

    I make it clear that i'm appreciative and to continue to offer me things in the future. In general there are days i can and cant swing the extra cals.

    this, usually with a rueful smile and a look of longing at whatever i'm being offered (usually chocolate cake for birthdays in work)
  • Bluepegasus
    Bluepegasus Posts: 333 Member
    It depends on whether I actually want it or not. If I do, I either fit it into my calorie allowance, work it off, or not worry about it for one day. A lot of the time it's something I can't actually have anyway (lactose intolerance).
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    I don't think I have ever felt bad or felt like I have let other people down by saying no thank you to their offers of food. Perhaps you need to work on some assertiveness skills.



  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
    I just say "No thank you". My calories are pretty much planned out for the day. No guilt on either side.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    Erfw7471 wrote: »
    I say "no thanks." What I eat or not eat shouldn't affect someone else or let them down or hurt their feelings. If it does then that's their issue & not mine. My issue is doing what's best for my body. I know some people show "love" through food and get offended (my mother is one of them) but again, I'm not going to eat something I don't want just to appease someone else.

    Edited to add: and about the "work it off later" - nope, it's easier physically and less time consuming to say no to a piece of pie than it is to run an hour & a half to burn it off, lol.

    Haha, that last part's especially a good point. Most times I have exercise in the plan anyway, but why add additional if I don't need/want to? Although, for some things I'll just have a day that I'm eating over my deficit, and be done with it.
  • GirlonBliss
    GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
    tiptoethruthetulips wrote: »
    Perhaps you need to work on some assertiveness skills.

    I'm fine with it, now (I'm a health coach :smile: ). I do have clients who find that socializing is one of the toughest things when it comes to sticking to diet, mostly because there are mixed feelings involved with turning down foods you want deep down, or feeling uncomfortable saying no to others.

  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    santje00 wrote: »
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    I say "no thanks", but often get annoyed and even angry at people having this food around me. I know it sounds silly, but I can get frustrated with people eating something they should not have, since it could jeopardise their health. At other times, I crack and give in. Feeling horrible afterwards of course.

    wow really?

    I hope you mean people who are allergic to peanuts that are eating peanut butter and not someone eating a burger or a chocolate bar...

    OP if I want it I say thanks that is great...if I don't want it I say no thanks, looks great but not hungry atm.

    there is no food I "shouldn't" eat since I don't have food allergies etc.

    There is no one food that could sabotage me.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    I say 'look delicious, but no thank you'

    when pressed ' no thank you I don't want any'

    when really pressed I say 'seriously no thank you'

    if they keep going they get a :huh:

    Recognize this one. I add a; Which part of no does not register, the N or the O part? before I do the :huh: followed by a heelturn and walking away :smile:
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    My weight loss is my own personal goal, its not everyone elses job to police it for me so there really isn't any way for someone to "sabatoge" me. Taking personal responsibility is an important step for success.

    In that situation I decide if I really want the item and it is worth eating (to me). That results in 3 responses
    1. No thanks, and I don't eat it
    2. Yes I will have some, and I make it fit into that days goal
    3. Yes, and I give up my deficit for the day
  • jdude3262
    jdude3262 Posts: 18 Member
    I say "no, thanks" but if they insist, I'll just take it and throw it away when they're not looking. It's a waste but I don't want hurt feelings over something so simple.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    "No thanks. I don't have room for it today."

    When did it become so hard to say no?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    The glass is half full, not half empty. In other words, there is no food I shouldn't have, or that I should have. If I'm going to a friend's house and I know they will offer me some of their goodies, I save some calories for it. Then, I have a small piece.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    If it fits within my calories, I accept it.

    If it does not fit within my calories, I decline politely. :)
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    edited July 2016
    For me, the only foods that I really "shouldn't" have are ones I'm allergic to. When offered, I usually decline, just saying "allergies"...most people roll their eyes because they don't believe in allergies or think I'm on a "diet", but I've started not to care. My health is more important than their comfort. But in terms of my calorie goals, if I want it I eat it...tomorrow is another day.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?


    You should feel guilty if your sweet dying grandma makes something you loved for years and you absolutely refuse it while saying no one should ever eat that.
    If co-worker Sally is offering everyone doughnuts she picked up on the way to work just say no thanks and everyone moves on with their lives.
    No one is sabotaging anything by making an offer. I make choices. I am responsible for my choices.
    I don't feel guilty about saying no if something doesn't fit my day's plan.
    I don't think I am letting people down by not eating something. It really doesn't matter that much. I don't feel guilty over food.
    I eat all kinds of foods. I don't have foods I shouldn't ever eat. I choose not to eat some foods.
    I was taught that it is polite to offer food or drink to someone instead of just eating or drinking in front of them. That is not the same as caring if they accept or not.

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