How do you react when someone offers you food you want but "shouldn't" have?

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  • GirlonBliss
    GirlonBliss Posts: 38 Member
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    tiptoethruthetulips wrote: »
    Perhaps you need to work on some assertiveness skills.

    I'm fine with it, now (I'm a health coach :smile: ). I do have clients who find that socializing is one of the toughest things when it comes to sticking to diet, mostly because there are mixed feelings involved with turning down foods you want deep down, or feeling uncomfortable saying no to others.

  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    santje00 wrote: »
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    I say "no thanks", but often get annoyed and even angry at people having this food around me. I know it sounds silly, but I can get frustrated with people eating something they should not have, since it could jeopardise their health. At other times, I crack and give in. Feeling horrible afterwards of course.

    wow really?

    I hope you mean people who are allergic to peanuts that are eating peanut butter and not someone eating a burger or a chocolate bar...

    OP if I want it I say thanks that is great...if I don't want it I say no thanks, looks great but not hungry atm.

    there is no food I "shouldn't" eat since I don't have food allergies etc.

    There is no one food that could sabotage me.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    Sued0nim wrote: »
    I say 'look delicious, but no thank you'

    when pressed ' no thank you I don't want any'

    when really pressed I say 'seriously no thank you'

    if they keep going they get a :huh:

    Recognize this one. I add a; Which part of no does not register, the N or the O part? before I do the :huh: followed by a heelturn and walking away :smile:
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    My weight loss is my own personal goal, its not everyone elses job to police it for me so there really isn't any way for someone to "sabatoge" me. Taking personal responsibility is an important step for success.

    In that situation I decide if I really want the item and it is worth eating (to me). That results in 3 responses
    1. No thanks, and I don't eat it
    2. Yes I will have some, and I make it fit into that days goal
    3. Yes, and I give up my deficit for the day
  • jdude3262
    jdude3262 Posts: 18 Member
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    I say "no, thanks" but if they insist, I'll just take it and throw it away when they're not looking. It's a waste but I don't want hurt feelings over something so simple.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    "No thanks. I don't have room for it today."

    When did it become so hard to say no?
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    The glass is half full, not half empty. In other words, there is no food I shouldn't have, or that I should have. If I'm going to a friend's house and I know they will offer me some of their goodies, I save some calories for it. Then, I have a small piece.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,906 Member
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    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    If it fits within my calories, I accept it.

    If it does not fit within my calories, I decline politely. :)
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
    edited July 2016
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    For me, the only foods that I really "shouldn't" have are ones I'm allergic to. When offered, I usually decline, just saying "allergies"...most people roll their eyes because they don't believe in allergies or think I'm on a "diet", but I've started not to care. My health is more important than their comfort. But in terms of my calorie goals, if I want it I eat it...tomorrow is another day.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?


    You should feel guilty if your sweet dying grandma makes something you loved for years and you absolutely refuse it while saying no one should ever eat that.
    If co-worker Sally is offering everyone doughnuts she picked up on the way to work just say no thanks and everyone moves on with their lives.
    No one is sabotaging anything by making an offer. I make choices. I am responsible for my choices.
    I don't feel guilty about saying no if something doesn't fit my day's plan.
    I don't think I am letting people down by not eating something. It really doesn't matter that much. I don't feel guilty over food.
    I eat all kinds of foods. I don't have foods I shouldn't ever eat. I choose not to eat some foods.
    I was taught that it is polite to offer food or drink to someone instead of just eating or drinking in front of them. That is not the same as caring if they accept or not.
  • marphoria
    marphoria Posts: 14 Member
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    I usually just take a small piece of whatever they're offering me, not the full portion (unless the full portion fits in my macros). We have free food at work every Friday, and we celebrate birthdays at the end of every month. Free food at work = bagels, donuts, pastries, etc; birthdays = cake, ice cream, pie. I will usually share a bagel or donut with a coworker, or take a small sliver of cake during the birthday celebrations. My mom also offers me a ton of food when I visit home, and I just eat smaller portions or take the leftovers when I leave.

    Most people won't care how much you eat if you are still participating or accepting what they offer, even if it's just a smaller portion. But if you really don't want any, you don't have to take it, just politely decline. :]
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
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    I have always been the type of person who went out of my way to make other people happy. But, when it comes to food and my health I do not feel guilty turning food down. I am fortunate to work around others who are pretty focused on health and they will actually praise when others resist snacks or food that they do not want.

    I do not feel like it is sabotage when others offer me food. Many of them do not know my eating habits. Sabotage is an intended action and I do see others as intentionally trying to mess up my eating. I simply say "No, thank you" and that is the end of it. Many times we are afraid to hurt their feelings, but it really does not hurt their feelings. If someone turns down something I may offer, it doesn't phase me in the least.

    I have worked really hard this past year to disassociate food and feelings.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    No, I just decide if I want it, and accept or decline accordingly.

    Oh, there are no foods one "shouldn't have". If they make you sick, that's another story. The whole idea of counting calories is about making better choices for yourself. You are the best judge of what's best for you.

    Agree with all this.

    I get offered food every day that is going to be tough to fit into my calories. Sometimes I adjust and accept it, if it's really worth it, mostly I don't, since I already have a rough plan for the day and adding it in doesn't do anything for me. I never feel guilty about not eating it, and to the extent I might feel guilty about eating something I decided is worth fitting in, I think that's messed up and would work on it. I don't think guilt is a good response to eating in general, but it's thoughtless eating or wasting calories on things that aren't even that tasty, failing to be mindful, that I really try to avoid and am inclined to feel bad about.
  • LaMartian
    LaMartian Posts: 478 Member
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    First, I decline it politely. Then, I decline it politely again and cite my goals. Finally, I tell them to get it the f*** out of my face.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    I'm a food pusher. If someone tells me no, and I insist, it's generally just out of courtesy. I couldn't care less if they accept or decline, and if they do decline, it's out of my mind 30 seconds later. 100 percent of the time, I am just being polite by offering to get someone something that I'm getting ready to eat myself. Like, if I'm getting up to get a protein bar, I'll ask my husband if he wants one. He'll either say yes, or tell me no. If I say, "are you sure?" it's generally because I don't want to have to get up a minute later if he changes his mind.

    Seriously, when is the last time someone said "remember last month when I offered you that piece of pecan pie? You didn't take it, so now I hate you." I'm going with never.

    I don't have a problem saying no to someone when it comes to food. Probably because I'm more of a pusher than a taker.
  • LouLouStBijou
    LouLouStBijou Posts: 987 Member
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    I just declined chocolate chip cookies offered to me by a colleague......I was tempted but I triumphed!
  • Shadowmf023
    Shadowmf023 Posts: 812 Member
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    Usually they are not aware that I'm trying to lose weight. But I usually come up with an excuse.

    "No thanks, I'm stuffed from my previous meal still." ... "No thanks, I'm not feeling well." ... "No thanks, I don't like...". And so on.

    Sometimes I give in and take some. And it's a conscious decision.
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 4,985 Member
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    There are no foods I "shouldn't" have. If they offer me something that will put me over my goal I just decide if it is worth going over or if I can cut something out later in the day and then if I decide I want it I have it. I treat my calorie goal like a budget. I have X amount of calories to spend each day. I can spend them any way I want. I typically don't like to "waste" calories, but sometimes I do.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    GirlonBliss wrote: »
    Do you feel like they're sabotaging your diet? Do you say no and feel guilty? Do you say YES and feel guilty?

    For me, I would always give in and tell myself I'd just work it off later. I felt bad to let other people down. You?

    The glass is half full, not half empty. In other words, there is no food I shouldn't have, or that I should have. If I'm going to a friend's house and I know they will offer me some of their goodies, I save some calories for it. Then, I have a small piece.

    I really love the bolded. This puts all the power in the person making the decision. I can choose to eat all the foods I want, I ether need to make room for them or accept that I may be over my calories for the day. I can also choose to say no if a food doesn't fit, or I don't want it. There should be no guilt either way - it is about personal responsibility and decision making, not about sabotage....

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