Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores

LokiGrrl

This kind of thing does happen. I've seen it in small towns, insular neighborhoods, churches, etc., but also there are some people who are just *kitten* and enjoy being mean for whatever reason - usually because they just like it, but even if there's another "legitimate" psychological reason or they're "just trying to help" or they're just letting their mouth overload their brain, I don't care. Doesn't make it right. And those people are here in my hometown (which is not small) and all over the world. People who tell me I need to get contacts or I'll never land a man, people who think I'm too old to wear Game of Thrones t-shirts and cutoff jeans, people who tell me my hair shouldn't be so long when I'm over 30, people who tell me to trade in my Docs for high heels, people who tell me my top is too sheer and they can see my bra (quelle horreure), and yes, people who inform me that I'm fat, as if I didn't know, and give me their unsolicited and unwanted advice (I've got bad teeth, and some people tell me that too WOW I WONDERED WHY MY MOUTH HURTS ALL THE TIME THANK YOU O WISE ONE). These people need to STFU, and sometimes I straight up tell them that. When I'm feeling more patient I give them the Long Look With Delayed Wow as another poster said above. When I'm in a situation where saying what I actually think would be inappropriate (like work, ha ha, or when it's one of my dad's friends or his nosy nosy next-door neighbor), I say, "Thanks, I'll think about that." Which I do. I think, "What a bunch of *kitten*," and then go on as before. I've even been known to put on my "mother" voice and inform people that my son had better manners at age 3.

I kind of wonder if this happens more in Texas, where snark masquerades as concern on a regular basis and it's not uncommon to have long conversations with strangers, but I've never lived outside Texas, so don't really know.

Ultimately these people are not important in your life. You've decided to get healthy and that's great, so if you fall down, pick yourself up and carry on as before. A whole large pizza is quite a lot, but it's not the end of the world.

If you're trolling, or made up this story for attention or whatever (I really don't know), well, that's just sad, but I hope someone else will be helped by some of the suggestions here.

billglitch

for some reason people think its ok to comment or be rude or touch your belly and tell you that you are fat. A few years ago I was at the funeral for my sister, who had died from cancer. A woman that knew my family walked up to me in the funeral parlor, looked me up and down and said "what happened to you?" Hoping these people burn in hell

RainaProske

You people go through some stuff that I can't even imagine. I am very insecure at times, but I've never gone through any of this stuff, like @LokiGrrl , @billglitch , the OP, and others have. Amazing!

Most of the people in the Great North Wet are nice. Very nice. I have, however, lived in Mississippi, and a lot of the women there have a wild sense of humor that makes things come out of their mouths that leave the listener whirling. I always thought it was funny, though, when I would figure out what they really meant 10 minutes after they'd walked away. Maybe I have a whacked-out sense of humor.

tomteboda

Small town? I'd be likely to dish an insult right back. Like "No wonder nobody can stand you." or the oblique "he who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Let them worry about what that means. Or the sweetly spoken "Bless your heart, dear. Your mother must not have taught you any manners.

On a better day, I'd go out of my way to be kind to them, because clearly their lives are filled with misery if they need to put other people down like that.

cerise_noir

This sounds like the next Weird Al song.

I can hear it now...

CurlyCockney

cerise_noir wrote: »

This sounds like the next Weird Al song.

I can hear it now...

Fat shamed at the grocery store
Branded a fool
What will they say
Monday at school?

Cashier, can't you see
I'm in misery?
You blamed my carbs, and broke my heart
There's nothing left for me

Pizza and cake, I’ll now partake
I sit and wonder why-y-y, oh?
Why you insulted me, oh Cashier

bubble_wrap0428

That is RIDICULOUS and terrible customer service! Notify a manger and do not return. No employee should treat a guest like that, and they are in the wrong.

Psychgrrl

CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »

Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired

You're not getting them fired, their behavior is getting them whatever consequences their boss deems appropriate. You are just the messenger.

That being said, you need to be willing to stand up for yourself. If you won't, no one can do it for you and people will go on thinking what they did was OK. They'll do it to you and to others. Bullies are bullies because they get away with it.

Mapalicious

Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »

OP. Look up 'learned helplessness'. Several people on these boards suffer from it. It goes like this:
1) Post about a problem or incident that is far worse than anyone on here has ever experienced in the history of the world.
2) Shoot down every possible solution/action for various reasons then tell everyone you have stuffed your face because of aforementioned problem/incident
3) Get called out for attention seeking
4) Post a generic short response 'Thanks everyone', 'I am back on track' etc because your attention cup has now been filled and to minimize negative backlash

Rinse. Repeat.

God forbid humans need attention. Really, we should just be isolated little self-healing machines. /sarcasm

Your comment makes you sound like a wanker. Are you a wanker?

Heartisalonelyhunter

Mapalicious wrote: »

Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »

OP. Look up 'learned helplessness'. Several people on these boards suffer from it. It goes like this:
1) Post about a problem or incident that is far worse than anyone on here has ever experienced in the history of the world.
2) Shoot down every possible solution/action for various reasons then tell everyone you have stuffed your face because of aforementioned problem/incident
3) Get called out for attention seeking
4) Post a generic short response 'Thanks everyone', 'I am back on track' etc because your attention cup has now been filled and to minimize negative backlash

Rinse. Repeat.

God forbid humans need attention. Really, we should just be isolated little self-healing machines. /sarcasm

Your comment makes you sound like a wanker. Are you a wanker?

I think you'll find everyone is a wanker. If they say they don't do it they're lying....

fitpal4242

Ok, that's just horrible. No matter what your BMI, you need to eat, and they need to treat all customers with respect. As the others said, I hope you reported this. One step further- if this ever happens again, you should stop and take their picture. See if they like someone posting about what a horrible person they are (and sending to their management).

Alluminati

Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »

Mapalicious wrote: »

Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »

OP. Look up 'learned helplessness'. Several people on these boards suffer from it. It goes like this:
1) Post about a problem or incident that is far worse than anyone on here has ever experienced in the history of the world.
2) Shoot down every possible solution/action for various reasons then tell everyone you have stuffed your face because of aforementioned problem/incident
3) Get called out for attention seeking
4) Post a generic short response 'Thanks everyone', 'I am back on track' etc because your attention cup has now been filled and to minimize negative backlash

Rinse. Repeat.

God forbid humans need attention. Really, we should just be isolated little self-healing machines. /sarcasm

Your comment makes you sound like a wanker. Are you a wanker?

I think you'll find everyone is a wanker. If they say they don't do it they're lying....

**raises hand**

ericatoday

Im appalled and what i just read. I really hope you spoke to the managers both times. That is not okay. But i know how you feel. Ive never been obese but i was over weight for 8 years and i cant tell you how many times i wore a dress and women asked me how many months pregnant i was and when id say im not pregnant they'd give me dirty looks like "oh youre just fat" then say "oh sorry" and walk away. There was a handful of times my husbands family asked me too and when i said i wasnt they literally said "you look 5 months pregnant". That doesnt happen anymore thank goodness. You have to take control and say eff them.

Savagedistraction

Flip her the bird, and learn to live in the land of "give no fooks" about what strangers think.

alarmed123

If anything, you should feel sorry for the cashier.... she's obvious miserable and hates herself. When people are unhappy they try to put others down and attack. You do you, you try to fix you and don't worry about her sorry *kitten* or anyone else.

dejavuohlala

You need to write i and complain about both stores that's disgraceful

Alatariel75

Zombies! Zombies!!

jenilla1

Is this for realz?

Alatariel75

jenilla1 wrote: »

Is this for realz?

It's 7 months old and i seem to recall op started a couple similar threads relating to different stores around her town. OP has also deactivated.

DrTrushna

I am so sorry you had to hear such crap. I was and am fat shamed too, verbally and with looks. But I am sooo glad you have begun your way to fitness. Stay strong. These are just the hurdles that you are supposed to go through... they will add spice to your success story after all
Game on! Keep at it.

Titoki1

this is appalling and I hope you complain to management!

fitforeternity493

I believe there is some degree of truth however through my experiences people's attitudes around fat shaming are either subtle or back handed..

However I feel like you shouldn't tolerate any rude comments made about you. And you definitely shouldn't pig out on junk food just because a witch of a cashier decided to make mean comments about what you buy.. Report it to management and have a kick a** comeback next time, and keep on your journey of weight loss.. When I lost weight and now I'm down to 182 on my 5'9 frame people are much more pleasant and if someone is a witch to me it's not because of my weight it's because they were and are just miserable to begin with..

Fat shaming isn't ever ok but don't give people power over your emotions.. I did at one point and I got screwed over in the end.

Nowadays I'm accused of having bullemia from a group of ex friends that ditched me once I lost a fair amount of weight.. That's the rumor that I hear from mutual friends anyways.. And I laugh at the sheer stupidity of some people..

My point is people are going to criticize you no matter what.. You can't let ignorant people get to your emotions. It's hard in the beginning but eventually you realize how people act around or toward you says more about them than it does you.. All you can do is smile and be happy within yourself.

Don't give up and never surrender.

mitchell_maya1705

To be honest, both those people sound like *kitten* and bullies. Don't take any of their *kitten*. Hearing your story has made me angry, that these people think they have a right to comment about you. I would say avoid those cashiers, go to other ones or use self-check out. And if anything tell them off because that is horrible and is pissing me off.

rainbowbow

Why ressurect this old thread?

Packerjohn

Neanbean13 wrote: »

I may be 'fat' but hey, atleast I'm not a cashier! *smirk* walk away

Don't ever disrespect someone because of their job.

mickeygirliegirl

Are either of the stores chains where they would have a social media presence?

If you are uncomfortable addressing it in person, try email. Especially given the impact that social media can carry - not only do they risk losing you as a customer but hundreds if not thousands of others. I would not hesitate to contact them and let them know if you are ever made to feel uncomfortable again, you would tell the world via social media.

What was said is completely unacceptable. Continue to focus on your health, but do NOT let others put you down like that.

Emily3907

inertiastrength

If it were me and that happened I would probably contact the local paper to do a human interest story and have them fired after the bad press.

PackPariah

Geeze, I went to friend this person and saw the account was deactivated. Then I realized this post was from almost a year ago lol. Felt bad, hopefully the OP got through it ok.

NoLimitFemme

Why not take what they said and throw it back in their face by loosing the weight? Part of being a grown up is being able to handle criticism and respond appropriatly. Every one you you meet will not support your journey, but you aren't doing this for them ... you are doing this for YOU!