Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores

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Replies

  • mittenswillet
    mittenswillet Posts: 697 Member
    edited July 2016
    whoever this person is, go to the mangager IMMEDIATLEY and get them fired. How dare they speak to you like that??? This is so inhumane. That person is there ONLY to serve you, not give out horrible comments about your size.

    Good luck, and I hope they get fired, or karma comes their way.

    I feel your pain that you had to comfort eat.......that was hell to go through, but next time try your best NOT to comfort eat, don't let them win. You can do this!!! Just imagine in the future when you've got to your goal weight and accidently run into them.........they are unemployed (cause of what they said to you) and your top of your game, healthy, fit and have money. BOOM!!! =)
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    I live in a VERY small town. There are 2 grocery stores here. Last month, when I went shopping for food, the cashier told me, "If I were as fat as you, I wouldn't eat at all. They aren't paying me enough to deal with seeing people like you."

    After that, I did not feel comfortable going into that store and have been shopping at the other store. Yesterday, I went there to buy bread. That's all I bought - a loaf of bread which seems pretty normal to me. The cashier (I think new) told me, "No wonder you're fat if all you eat is carbs."

    WTAF!

    Definitely report to management.
  • janetennet
    janetennet Posts: 143 Member
    This just makes me so sad, I'm so sorry that you had to have this happen to you.

    I really hope that you report both accounts to management, but I also wouldn't let this stop you shopping in the stores. The only way to stand up to this form of bullying aka fat shaming is to literally not go away, go in there, buy all your veggies, your fruit, your meats, your carbs everything and if ANYONE ever says anything to you again then you tell them where to get off.

    The Eleanor Roosevelt quote comes to mind "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Don't let them make you feel inferior, let them make you feel motivated to do more and show them exactly how much weight you are going to lose

    If you need motivation to keep going there are more than enough people here on MFP that you can friend and who will motivate you to keep going. :)
  • wandalula
    wandalula Posts: 5 Member
    Keep your head held high! Stupid people are everywhere and don't let them do this to you. I agree with the above. Go to manager. And then go back in there with pride! You deserve to be in there just as much as everyone else. Next time, tell them to mind their own business. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Someone like that would have made fun of your clothes if they couldn't say anything about your weight. Mean people suck.
    Good luck to you. Keep on posting here. You will find lots of support!.
  • Womona
    Womona Posts: 1,596 Member
    It pains me to hear what you went through. I agree with everyone else, go back in and report to management of both stores- that kind of thing is grounds for dismissal. Also, why should you have to inconvenience yourself by driving a whole hour away to go to the market?

    Hold your head high, you are a worthy person regardless of your weight. Besides, that cashier has to look into the mirror every day and see the ugliness in her soul. You don't.

    If it happens again, a good comeback line might be "I may be fat, but at least my Mama taught me manners".
  • harryhole987
    harryhole987 Posts: 16 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    I"m just so embarrassed to go back even to that first store even though it happened a month ago. Actually more like 2 months ago. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so ashamed to go back in there. I guess I do need to be more assertive and confident.

    My heart goes out to you. Those 2 should have been fired but I understand not wanting to bring any more attention to the matter. *kitten*!! (Sorry)
  • nemmer315
    nemmer315 Posts: 6 Member
    Right, first of all you put in a complaint about the pieces of crap that said that to you. That type of behaviour is not acceptable EVER!

    Second, just keep at it hun. Don't let two jerks ruin it for you because you're taking steps to be happy and they aren't. There will be setbacks and *kitten* along the way, but keep going. Prove them wrong and you'll be stronger physically and mentally than they ever will.

    x x
  • hypodonthaveme
    hypodonthaveme Posts: 215 Member
    I understand your feelings. This is what I would do. I would continue going to the gym. I would continue to eat healthy. I would continue to shop in those stores. If it happens again report it right then and there. See as you continue to workout, your progress WILL show. It will! Then one day when you go the same store you have been shopping at they will see the improvement. That being said, there is no room for judgment or rudeness. It is demoralizing, depressing. You are stronger than that. You will rise above this. You will have you're success story. Don't let others ruin your achievements by a few hateful words.
  • JLG1986
    JLG1986 Posts: 211 Member
    When people say things about me being fat, I just calmly look them straight in the eye and don't say anything. Most people have a conscience, and for some reason, not saying something back makes them think about what they just had the gall to say to another human being.

    Also, yes, speak to their managers, that's a totally unacceptable way to speak to someone. Would they dare be so blatantly discriminatory about race, religion, age, or gender? Why is being fat the exception to being polite?

    I think there's a place for our friends and family to gently admonish us (which, for the record, would not resemble those horrible cruel comments AT ALL) for our health and wellbeing, but strangers have 0 right to butt in because they know nothing about us.

    So sorry this happened to you, and big support from your MFP family. <3 You are making positive changes in your life, don't let those little so-and-sos derail your mission.
  • HealthyGinny
    HealthyGinny Posts: 821 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Here's the situation. I am obese based on BMI and I decided to make a change for my health. I just joined a gym and have been going there every week. I have also been cutting out the junk food and making home cooked meals. I was feeling pretty good about this.

    I live in a VERY small town. There are 2 grocery stores here. Last month, when I went shopping for food, the cashier told me, "If I were as fat as you, I wouldn't eat at all. They aren't paying me enough to deal with seeing people like you."

    After that, I did not feel comfortable going into that store and have been shopping at the other store. Yesterday, I went there to buy bread. That's all I bought - a loaf of bread which seems pretty normal to me. The cashier (I think new) told me, "No wonder you're fat if all you eat is carbs."

    Now I feel highly uncomfortable going to both stores. It is an hour's drive to the nearest grocery store. What if the same thing happens there?

    Also, fat shaming doesn't make me stop eating (why would I stop eating altogether anyway, it doesn't make any sense). I'm embarrassed, but after what the cashier told me yesterday, I ordered pizza and cake to comfort eat.

    Do you get fat shamed too and do you have a thick skin or are there any tricks to avoid this?

    Those people are jerks. I know you are embarrassed but they should be instead. Next time one of them tells you that if they were as fat as you, they wouldn't be eating at all, tell them that if you were are stupid as them, you wouldn't bother to try speaking at all.
  • Veryana
    Veryana Posts: 122 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I am going to play Devil's advocate here. Is this for real? I've been fat shamed before, everyone has, but it is usually rare and very underhanded. It doesn't usually happen straight to your face like that, and it just happens to take place at the two grocery stores? Maybe I am wrong, but I wonder if other things were said and you are taking it for more than it is, of if you are just making it up.

    Just that it usually doesn't happen straight to your face doesn't mean it never happened to others. It is very real to a lot of people. Makes me wonder what do you think of school and workplace bullying. Is that made up too or is it somehow different then because it happens more often and in specific place and time?
  • CoffeeandCats2
    CoffeeandCats2 Posts: 49 Member
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/
  • extra_medium
    extra_medium Posts: 1,525 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    I"m just so embarrassed to go back even to that first store even though it happened a month ago. Actually more like 2 months ago. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so ashamed to go back in there. I guess I do need to be more assertive and confident.

    They are dealing with their own deep insecurities if they feel the need to talk to you that way. Keep that in mind, and keep it moving. Don't let it stop you from shopping at that store.

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