Ladies... how short is too short?

Beleg

My wife is 5'2 and I am 6'2 I am the shortest guy she ever dated.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

So lets say you have a friend at work. He's smart, funny, handsome, strong, super cut, etc. You start hanging out, texting, etc. You realize you have a crush on him. He's 5'5". Are you really not going to date him because he doesn't make you feel feminine enough?

Where did this notion come from that we have to be small (or smaller) to be feminine? Yes, most men are bigger than most women. But what about those who aren't "average"? Are we too feel masculine because we are tall women? Or non-masculine because we are short men? Just because a man isn't tall doesn't mean he can't protect me. Pretty sure 5'4", 400lb dead-lifter dude from my gym could protect me. I don't live in a society where i need to be "protected" anyway. This isn't the stone age. I'm in no danger of being clubbed over the head and dragged off.

The main reasons I'm so against this thinking is because I used to feel this way. I used to feel huge and non-feminine (and really I'm not that big). Young women don't need this kind of self hate, neither do short men. My husband is the same height and weight as me. He was not my type at all when I was 21 when we met. Had I decided not to date him I would have missed out on the last 11 years we've had and our 3 children. I had never come even close to the emotional and intellectual connection I've felt with him. What if I had missed it because he was "too short"?

JTick

So lets say you have a friend at work. He's smart, funny, handsome, strong, super cut, etc. You start hanging out, texting, etc. You realize you have a crush on him. He's 5'5". Are you really not going to date him because he doesn't make you feel feminine enough?

Where did this notion come from that we have to be small (or smaller) to be feminine? Yes, most men are bigger than most women. But what about those who aren't "average"? Are we too feel masculine because we are tall women? Or non-masculine because we are short men? Just because a man isn't tall doesn't mean he can't protect me. Pretty sure 5'4", 400lb dead-lifter dude from my gym could protect me. I don't live in a society where i need to be "protected" anyway. This isn't the stone age. I'm in no danger of being clubbed over the head and dragged off.

The main reasons I'm so against this thinking is because I used to feel this way. I used to feel huge and non-feminine (and really I'm not that big). Young women don't need this kind of self hate, neither do short men. My husband is the same height and weight as me. He was not my type at all when I was 21 when we met. Had I decided not to date him I would have missed out on the last 11 years we've had and our 3 children. I had never come even close to the emotional and intellectual connection I've felt with him. What if I had missed it because he was "too short"?

I'm not telling you how to feel about anything. I'm sharing how I feel...and I'm allowed to have my feelings just as you have yours. If *I* feel more feminine next to a tall man, then I'm allowed. If this is something that doesn't bother you, you're allowed to feel that way. I don't feel this way because of societal pressure, I feel this way just because, and I'm allowed to. I've been turned down PLENTY of times because I'm still too heavy for some men to consider dating. I don't let it bother me...they are allowed to have their preferences too!

usernameMAMA

Peter Dinklage is a hottie! He went to the same college as me too, so that makes me partial (it was a world all to itself). Oh, and I just saw that he was also born in the same place as my husband, wow...funny coincidence.

Agreed! There is something incredibly attractive about him...

Fithealthyforlife

Now what about guys?

Say I'm 5'9, which is average for guys (there are a lot of guys both taller and shorter than this)...

Now, let's say I do an online dating site. Say I find a girl and really like her profile because I think she's pretty and she has a lot of the same interests as me (which is rare). BUT let's say she says on there that she doesn't date guys under 6'0.

Now, I could either say, "the heck with it...she's going to miss out on me; I don't even want to bother because I know she doens't appreciate someone 3 inches under her preference. It's going to be a waste both her and my time to contact her".

Or...I could say, "You know...maybe I should message her regardless. Worst case, she says no, but maybe she will be able to look past the fact that I'm 3 inches shorter than her preference."

The second option sounds like the better one to me.

And then if I do message her, I could either not mention the height difference and just talk about how we have similar interests, or I could tell her honestly that I think it's baloney and I really don't care what she thinks in regard to men's heights. I would guess that the latter sort of mesage would not be met with a response form her, while the former might...

Fithealthyforlife

Peter Dinklage is a hottie! He went to the same college as me too, so that makes me partial (it was a world all to itself). Oh, and I just saw that he was also born in the same place as my husband, wow...funny coincidence.

Agreed! There is something incredibly attractive about him...

I'm not saying there's not something attractive about the guy, as I've never heard of him...but I looked him up...I do think sometimes, that once someone is *that* short, the normal perceptions might no longer hold. In other words there may be women who rather date or marry someone like him who is 4'5 than a "normal short" guy of 5'4 or so. The other thing is, if he has tall parents, because of the way genes are inherited for short stature/dwarfism, his kids, if not affected, could actually be taller than those of a guy who is 5'4 (assuming the same mother). Some people care about their kids' height/race, etc, even if they don't care about their partner's. Unfortunately, the two tend to be related! it's like, if guy who is 5'9 follows the conventional rules and marries a woman who is 6 inches shorter, there's a good chance of having short kids. Now if a guy of the same height marries a woman who is 5'7, they could easily have a son over 6 feet as part of the normal distribution.

Booksandbeaches

I don't want someone who is exactly my height or shorter. I'm not particularly tall, so most men I've dated have been taller than me. The tallest man I dated was 6'4". My preference is 6ft tall and lucky for me my husband is that tall.

BetsyThomas

i can go about 5 '8 i'm 5 '3 my husband is 6'2

nblais06

Need to be my height or taller. Im 5'8