Do you really only have one "soulmate"?

124

Replies

  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    I believe you can have unromantic soul mates too. Idk, I still have hope to find my romantic one someday. It's probably all just a fairy tale lie we've been told since childhood though.
  • KyleGrace8
    KyleGrace8 Posts: 2,205 Member
    I'm not sure what I believe. I just know there's not just one. The concept of love in general is hard for me to put into reasonable, logical sense. I've had one experience where everything was just instant but it didn't work out. Was that a soul mate? Or was I just going through some things and they were just there. We met once since the relationship dissolved and it wasn't the same. Does that mean they weren't a soul mate? I've definitely loved more than one person in my life. I wouldn't say any more or less, just differently. So...I'm undecided. If it's true that a soul mate for you can be one sided and doesn't even mean you are necessarily compatible but you have an unexplained connection that is effortless.....then I guess, yes I believe???? If it's supposed to be someone you're wholly compatible with and mutual then no. I fall into the hopeless romantic category but the older I get the more I understand that "hopeless" part! At this point in time I'm saying no. There's a piece of me that wants soulmates to be true though.
  • FeraFilia
    FeraFilia Posts: 4,664 Member
    I don't believe in soul mates. I think there are any number of people out there who can be a perfect fit for your personality, and emotional and sexual needs. I think it's up to the individuals involved to both be willing to put in the work to make it last. It takes two, and it takes work. There are no guarantees. That being said, I believe in God and that he has a plan for all of us... but also that we have free will and we can be really stupid and miss what's right in front of us for various reasons. I almost did.
  • Savage__AF
    Savage__AF Posts: 96 Member
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  • Savage__AF
    Savage__AF Posts: 96 Member
    Here_For_You wrote: »
    I used to never believe in them either. I believed you are compatable with some and not with others. Then I met the one who I thought was mine. And it changed every thought I had on a "soulmate" it even changed my view on cosmic theories as well.. like the "world brining two people together" and all that *kitten*. I know quite a bit is psychological. And after some research , and thought, I now believe you can have more than one . some are partners some are life friends. Maybe the world does bring people together even if it's for a short period of time. Maybe it's providential. Work and being able to adjust is always needed to maintain any relatioship. Some are fortunate to have that bond for life, some are not. We should be grateful for any amount of beneficial time spent with loved ones.. soul mates or not, learn to never take that time for granted. The end always comes too soon.

    You are correct
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Here_For_You wrote: »
    [[ learn to never take that time for granted. The end always comes too soon.

    My God, this is so true.

    I won't spill my soul on one post but yeah, if you've ever lost someone with whom ...... well, it's soul crushing.
  • fabcharley
    fabcharley Posts: 57 Member
    I don't believe in soulmates in a lover sense..... I have a best friend and she is my soul mate :) I believe in the relationship sense in having a companion..., and yes I'm still looking my companion!
  • vanessalee832017
    vanessalee832017 Posts: 10 Member
    I dont think so because soulmate leaves .and your hurt
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited March 2017
    I would not use the word soulmate but I feel that some of us connect at a deep level with one person in a way that we just won't with another person. It does not necessarily mean you die if they die or whatever but you just don't find that feeling with other people.

    I feel that way with my dh. I have never met anyone else that I connected with so much, so fast. Really unusual for me. We've been together 17 years and been through a lot together. It isn't magic. If he was gone I doubt I would find that type of connection again in a relationship.
  • lennyt91
    lennyt91 Posts: 40 Member
    My husband believes we're soulmates. I'm not sure if soulmates really exist. I do know we are a great team and we love each other very much.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    I believe you can have unromantic soul mates too. Idk, I still have hope to find my romantic one someday. It's probably all just a fairy tale lie we've been told since childhood though.
    Let's go to a Warriors game together. ;)


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Thehardmakesitworthit
    Thehardmakesitworthit Posts: 838 Member
    maeld56 wrote: »
    I met my Soulmate when I was 16, we divorced after 35yrs.
    He is still my Soulmate and I know he feels the same.
    Being with one's Soulmate does not guarantee a life of happiness and bliss.
    We're close friends now but could never live together again.

    This is me ... except we need to divorce but haven't... sooooo sad. But glad to hear how your journey ended as friends... hopeful
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Since love is a choice, no there is not just one soulmate in life.
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  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    Timshel_ wrote: »
    Since love is a choice, no there is not just one soulmate in life.

    OMG...I agree with this all the way!
  • BedsideTableKangaroo
    BedsideTableKangaroo Posts: 736 Member
    Thehardmakesitworthit wrote: »
    maeld56 wrote: »
    I met my Soulmate when I was 16, we divorced after 35yrs.
    He is still my Soulmate and I know he feels the same.
    Being with one's Soulmate does not guarantee a life of happiness and bliss.
    We're close friends now but could never live together again.

    This is me ... except we need to divorce but haven't... sooooo sad. But glad to hear how your journey ended as friends... hopeful

    this same boat...i might be in it.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    edited March 2017
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    when I look at my grandparents who have been married for goodness ..almost 70 years now I see two people who I know were meant to be together. I'm so worried that when one of them does finally pass that the other will go soon after cause they have been together pretty much since they were 18 and they are both in their early 90's now. Those two have a special bond that I think is awesome.

    I don't know if every person out there is meant to have a connection like my grandparents do, but it still makes me smile.

    I think it's possible that long term shared experiences, sticking it out through thick and thin, can build that kind of bond. That kind of depth doesn't necessarily exist in the beginning, but grows with time, joy, and hardship.

    edit: Oxford comma
  • JstTheWayIam
    JstTheWayIam Posts: 6,357 Member
    I don't believe in soul mates just because everyone changes, you might not even be the same person you were yesterday. We are often fickle and of multiple minds about things and often are just struggling to find ourselves because of all this, let alone our perfect match...

    Also for me personally, love is about struggle, not about finding the perfect match that requires little effort to have a successful relationship with...

    But I do believe in destiny and fate...

    All of time exist at this very moment...
  • Thehardmakesitworthit
    Thehardmakesitworthit Posts: 838 Member
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    when I look at my grandparents who have been married for goodness ..almost 70 years now I see two people who I know were meant to be together. I'm so worried that when one of them does finally pass that the other will go soon after cause they have been together pretty much since they were 18 and they are both in their early 90's now. Those two have a special bond that I think is awesome.

    I don't know if every person out there is meant to have a connection like my grandparents do, but it still makes me smile.

    This is lovely! My parents, my husband's parents, both sets of our grandparents....alllll of them set the gold standard in longevity of marriages....but I have to wonder if part of that was/is their generational thinking of not over thinking shizza, the partnership, the hard work and the "because its what you are supposed to do"..... I got married way to young because I thought thats "what I was supposed to do".... ugh. Married 33 years this July and my soul cant take another year... boo! But I love that you appreciate their relationship so much.! it really is lovely
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    melmelw03 wrote: »
    I believe you can have unromantic soul mates too. Idk, I still have hope to find my romantic one someday. It's probably all just a fairy tale lie we've been told since childhood though.
    Let's go to a Warriors game together. ;)


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png


    Bruh. :angry:
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    MalkinMagic71 wrote: »
    when I look at my grandparents who have been married for goodness ..almost 70 years now I see two people who I know were meant to be together. I'm so worried that when one of them does finally pass that the other will go soon after cause they have been together pretty much since they were 18 and they are both in their early 90's now. Those two have a special bond that I think is awesome.

    I don't know if every person out there is meant to have a connection like my grandparents do, but it still makes me smile.

    ***Breaks out Kleenex***
  • Kintsugi_Haikyo
    Kintsugi_Haikyo Posts: 361 Member
    People can, and do, have more than one soulmate.

    The problem is, most people don't recognize when one of their soulmates comes into their life. Many people think "Wow, he/she is beautiful, kind, and loves Chinese food. Hey, I love Chinese food too. We must be soul mates!" So they marry or commit or whatever and wonder why things get dull or bad after a while. It's because both parties were looking at the wrong things in a person to become their soulmate. Most people have a checklist or "know it when I feel it" attitude in finding their soulmate. But, IMHO, it doesn't work like that.

    Also, just because one may get divorced after thinking they found their soulmate, doesn't mean that they found their soulmate and it didn't work out. Sometimes a person thinks they have their soulmate, but were mistaken.

    I personally think a person only knows if they have found their soulmate after years and years.

    To me it's kind of like wondering what life is all about when one is young. You don't really know what life is all about until you can look back on it with experience.

    I would also add, that peoples definition of soulmate may vary. So two people thinking each other are soulmates may not really be soulmates. Why? One person may think that a soulmate is "A" and will have the expectation of their partner being "A." While the other partner thinks that a soulmate is "B" and will have the expectations of their partner being "B." ----

    As an example, John and Sally think they are soulmates. John's idea of a soulmate is A. Sally's idea of a soulmate is B.

    John tries to be his version of a soulmate to Sally by trying to be "A." BUT, Sally is expecting John to be "B" because her idea of a soulmate is "B."

    At the same time, Sally is trying to be "B" for John, but John is expecting her to be "A."

    This may not make a lot of sense but I hope it helps.

  • Unknown
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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Xo_ChinaDoll_oX wrote: »
    It doesn't even matter when we live in a society where everything and "everyone" is disposable.
    True soul mates help eachother to grow and learn and face themselves. It's never easy but it's always worth it... if you can find someone who loves your scars just as much as everything else... hold on tight :)

    This applies to friendships and romantic partners... imo

    Mad Re5pext.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    Astrology certainly invented this term because of some signs that are compatible than others. It says that there are signs that are more compatible to us (aka soulmates) than the others BUT it doesn't mean that we are destined to marry them. So just because s/he is your soulmate doesn't automatically mean you'll spend the rest of your life with that person. You may be soulmates but you're in different life stages, maturity levels etc. Sometimes your soulmate is a certain person in the past life, a sibling or a platonic friend.
  • LVNF04
    LVNF04 Posts: 2,607 Member
    Soulmate. I would say that anyone could potentially be your Soulmate. But the key to any relationship is compromise, communication. With that comes trust. And I believe situation in life has to be just right.

    I myself battle with this, because I realize now there so many dynamics that create the basis of a relationship

    Money. One person has it, the other person needs it.
    Friendship. Same hobbies something in common.
    Security. This is different than money. It's loyalty, trust worthiness, faithful.
    Intelligence. Funny, witty, artistic, articulate.
    Sex. This is self explanatory.

    Now, you have to somehow get past a barrage of hurdles,

    Health problems
    Relatives and friends
    Conflicting schedules
    Potential past mental baggage
    Potential financial baggage

    The ability to launch is almost impossible and the competition is only getting younger or richer.

    I say to find a real Soulmate you have to have faith, go in with a open mind, if you like them and they like you then go for it, but don't go in with your heart completely open because it will get crushed if it doesn't work out. But this day and age we have many available sources to find love. For the record sometimes I thought they were the one and they let me down then I find someone else and they let me down. Again and again and again. Then I realized it wasn't there fault. It was mine. The expectations were to great.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    I do believe in soul mates. But my definition might differ from others. I gather some people think it is paradise all the time or that it is a fairy tale Cinderella story. It's beyond that foo foo ish.
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