Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet

AmyOutOfControl

I have gone from a size 6 to a size 16 to a size 10 (current size). No one has commented unless I bring it up first.

When I was at my heaviest two women asked me when I was due - THAT sucked. I gain all my weight like a guy - big old gut.

I guess you never know why someone has gained/lost weight. Medical issues, stress, etc. I would hate be like" OMG you lost 20 pounds and look great" when they were really sick with cancer, depression, etc. it's a weird conversation starter.

pztodd

JeanieWww wrote: »

only lost 30 pounds so far, but they are thrilled!

Only 30lbs!!! Do not belittle your work! I'm sure that took a lot of work

SueSueDio

amymoreorless wrote: »

I guess you never know why someone has gained/lost weight. Medical issues, stress, etc. I would hate be like" OMG you lost 20 pounds and look great" when they were really sick with cancer, depression, etc. it's a weird conversation starter.

That's true, I guess! A while ago, the bank teller that we've seen nearly every week for the past few years finally commented after I'd lost close to 50lbs - she said I looked like I'd lost weight, and cautiously asked if it was "deliberate". When I responded that it was, she brightened up and congratulated me, saying that she'd lost about the same amount herself several years ago. She'd been worried that I was losing weight through illness but hadn't really liked to ask.

All the way home I was trying to remember what she'd looked like when we first started to visit the bank, and whether I should have noticed her loss or if it was before we knew her!

boopster99

I have these people in my life:
The 'saboteur' who always tries to get me to eat more than I want and actually brings treats to put on my desk. Like WTF??
The 'incredulous one'. "Wow, what diet are you on? How have you done this? What are you taking? Are you taking something?"
The 'jealous one'. "You're so skinny now. I'll never be as fit as you. You're so skinny. You should probably stop."
My favourite: The 'supportive one'. Who goes shopping with me when I need to get a new (smaller) bra and helps me feel great about everything I've accomplished!
It always amazes me how people are so different and their reactions so curious ... regardless of how they react it's my life and I'm doing what I need to do to feel good in it.

Heather4448

And now for something completely different:
I saw a former coworker in Walmart recently. She stopped me and gushed about how much weight I've lost. She was really piling on the compliments! It was a nice feeling... for a little while. She was a serial dieter when we worked together. I noticed she had lost some weight, but nothing drastic. I said, "You look like you've lost weight, too! Good for you!"

"Oh. I guess you haven't heard. I have breast cancer."

OMFG. This is EXACTLY why people avoid mentioning weight loss/gain. Ugh. No coming back from that one.
(Also, don't worry. Her prognosis is very good.)

briohne128

LOTS of people have had a really bad reaction to me losing weight! My partner says I am getting too skinny and I've had co workers , family and friends say I should stay the same weight I am now and stop losing anymore! It frustrates me because my goal weight is within healthy BMI and I have been losing weight the healthy way!(eating properly and through exercise!) I also want to have less fat and be more toned and strong so I can climb better yet so many people think I must be anorexic cause I want to lose weight! Ignorance is frustrating.

kingleahnidas

Coworkers ask me what I'm doing, say I look great, but then I realize they don't actually care about me. They just want "the secret."

kingleahnidas

Tacklewasher wrote: »

Syneea wrote: »

NAP150 wrote: »

Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???

"A Lot, it has been QUITE the journey!" And then switch the subject to your latest fitness venture....

If you have more to lose, then "not enough". If you are goal then "just the right amount".

I've told my boss what I've lost, but that is a hell of a lot different than some random guy asking.

Agree with you all.. In my experience, people look at you funny and try to visualize where all those pounds were coming from.

boopster99

kingleahnidas wrote: »

Coworkers ask me what I'm doing, say I look great, but then I realize they don't actually care about me. They just want "the secret."

THIS!! They want "the magic pill" that I'm using. HA! Yeah, it's that pill called busting my hump at the gym 6 days a week and tracking everything that I eat.

Goddess0921

I have had two reactions that have mattered more than anything else. The first is my husband. I've dieted so many times in our many years together and he's never really said anything. But, this time I'm doing it for me, and my head is in the right place. Now, I've lost about 20lbs. and he's noticed. Last week, he told me how proud he is of me, how amazing I look, and has asked me to help him join me so he can lose weight, too. That was amazing to me. The second is my grandmother. She has always been worried about my health because of my weight and when she saw me over Easter weekend, she was so happy and proud of me for how much weight I had lost and just to see that in her face and hear her tell me that...it just meant so much.

A handful of other people have commented...but those are the two who really mattered.

Speziface

Had to swing by an old office and my old boss saw me for the first time since I've lost the weight. She was legitimately concerned that I was sick and asked a few times if I was doing okay. (That's understandable considering a coworker of mine has been hospitalized for the last four months for diabetes-related issues.) I was both touched and annoyed by the attention.

becky1390

My family and friends have always said that I look great, but I've had a couple coworkers tell me more than once that I was starting to look too thin and sick even though I was still overweight. One of the girls that always makes these comments to me is severely overweight (not trying to be rude) and always complains about her weight but makes no attempts to change anything. She'll always ask me what I'm doing and what my "secret" is, but rolls her eyes when I say diet and exercise. It can be frustrating but I'm learning to ignore it.

omgstfualready

I've been sitting here reading the whole thread and have way too many thoughts so sorry in advance. I've lost a lot of weight and then put it all back on and now am finally (!) back in the right head space to get it off and keep it off. So, when I went from a 22W to a 14 (almost a 12) I was told at work by many women that I needed to stop. I'm very curvy so my goal of a 8 is perfectly reasonable (and actually I want to be a 6 since an 8 is much bigger than it used to be). They were adamant which is funny because nobody ever said I needed to stop when I was gaining weight!!!! Being a workplace (and that they reported eventually up to me) I stayed professional. Then the guys, nobody said anything directly to me. And I totally understand why. It's work. No matter how 'one of the guys' I am, it's still work. So I'd hear from coworkers that so and so mentioned you seemed happier with the weight loss or this person wanted to say something but didn't want to say it wrong. I understand they don't want to say or do the wrong thing either by HR standards or to hurt me. Others were just odd about it. I had guys literally do the up/down look and I have no idea how they think that's okay. Shouldn't the gym or health teacher teach guys in high school how to do it without being obvious? That should be a class. As for others, if a guy is with his wife or girlfriend and she's saying something he has no good option. He can ignore you or get killed by his wife, even if she is egging him on to agree with her. He cannot win.
Now for the flip side. A coworker was ill and because of that purposely lost a lot of weight. It looked like too much and many of us worried. I was closest to him so people would come to me to ask about it. I finally ventured out to talk about his illness and did the doctor tell him to lose so much weight. He said yes, I said oh great, as long as you and your doctor are happy isn't that what matters.
Oh, for people that say rude things in general, I either just stare back and let the awkward silence sit (make them break it) or for added fun, fake a HUGE yawn while they are talking and apologize with a 'sorry, you were saying'.

jennypapage

I have to say i'm amazed at some of the comments people have gotten.
Everyone has been really good about my weight loss. My colleagues were complimenting me while i was losing, and asked me what i was doing. I said calorie counting and they accepted that,no further questions. I had to stop working for 6 months,so when i came back i was almost done with losing weight and i had started running as exercise,and the difference in how i looked was quite big.
Some people at first didn't recognize me, but everyone said i looked great. They were shocked in a good way. Then they asked me if i was still cal.counting and how much i had left to lose.They said that i shouldn't lose any more, 'cause i was getting too thin. They said it out of concern,not in a bad way, and they were right, i was starting to get too thin.
They never comment in what i eat, and when colleagues bring sweets due to birthdays, etc. i always take one, even though i might not eat it there and then. It might have to do with the fact i live in europe and being thin is actually the norm.We also don't get bombarded much with magic pills and fad diets.In a couple of months i'll visit my family and i'll see what they have to say.

Dazzler21

Heydew wrote: »

I always find it interesting when people react to your weight loss. Or when they offer you something to eat and you decline.

What are some of your experience with people's reactions? Have any good stories?

I have found personally when I went from 13.5st to 10.5 st -
'You look ill'
'You don't look well'
'You're too skinny'
Came from friends and family the compliments all came from the opposite sex or same sex in some instances

However now I've got to a stage in which I hate how I look again
'You look well'

Seriously WTF?
I was so fit at 10st7lbs, I was running marathons and was lean and I looked 'unwell'...
Now at 12st11lbs, I struggle to get through a 5k in a respectable time and I apparently look 'well'?

How confused is society?

I know my target is now to get as lean and fit as I was just 4 years ago!

Dazzler21

JessicaMcB wrote: »

I have had several random people (cashier at the pharmacy, etc.) tell me I'm "too thin now" or look "sick". I get a lot of snark for being low carb as well. Obesity being so normalized makes being a normal weight person frustrating sometimes -_-

You're so right!

maybe1pe

I saw my extended family for the first time for Easter holidays and most of them were super supportive and kept saying how great I looked which was uncomfortable because I don't like being the center of attention.... but then of course my one cousin... she just had to make negative comments. It started out by asking me if I had gastric bypass. which no I did not and there's nothing wrong with people who go that route but the tone of her voice was very accusatory. Then after I told my aunt home much weight I've lost she said that "people who lose that much weight never look as good as they used to" again it was in her tone.

Her and I have never really gotten on much though. I feel like she's always making our relationship a competition and I'm literally never trying to compete with her. Never have, never will.

That's really the only super negative and kind of infuriating reaction I've gotten.

SoyD986

This is a great post and helpful to me at 110 or so days in to my journey. I'm down about 30-32lbs from 240-210 on my 5'5" frame and about 1 size down that I've just started dressing for. I have literally had not one person comment, mention or say one word about my weight loss except someone asking (finally!) last week if I was losing weight and then walked away (I was like, couldn't a sister get a "you look good!"?).

I didn't start and I'm not doing this journey for others - but a little validation from someone, anyone, a high five, secret handshake, whatever would be great ... especially because right now I can't really see a difference and am still stuck on being +30lbs heavier than where I was when I started gaining like an animal. Le sigh. The struggle is real people.

Piqueaboo

I get a lot of the "wow!" and a double take which is nice

rickc74

SoyD986 wrote: »

This is a great post and helpful to me at 110 or so days in to my journey. I'm down about 30-32lbs from 240-210 on my 5'5" frame and about 1 size down that I've just started dressing for. I have literally had not one person comment, mention or say one word about my weight loss except someone asking (finally!) last week if I was losing weight and then walked away (I was like, couldn't a sister get a "you look good!"?).

I didn't start and I'm not doing this journey for others - but a little validation from someone, anyone, a high five, secret handshake, whatever would be great ... especially because right now I can't really see a difference and am still stuck on being +30lbs heavier than where I was when I started gaining like an animal. Le sigh. The struggle is real people.

Congrats on the results so far, great start! I started at 250lbs, and it was around 30lbs lost that people started to notice and conment. It'll probably start for you any time now. Don't worry if it doesn't, though. People are all different, and some don't feel comfortable talking about other people's weight. It is what it is; like you said, you are doing it for you, not them. Keep up the great work