Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet

TxTiffani

I've lost 15lbs over the last 2.5mo and recently told my mom and my husband (during two different one on one conversations) that I'd still like to lose another 25lbs which will put me in the middle of healthy bmi. Both of them were worried that it would be losing too much weight. It's sad that none of us have ever seen me at a normal bmi. I assured them that if it doesn't look good I am well aware of how to gain some weight back LOL :P

breannemarie1993

My family and friends ask "what's your secret" I say... I wish there was something magical I could tell you but nope. Calories in/out haha

NanP135

I was talking to my best friend who has been my biggest support in my weight loss and when I told her I want to lose at least 10 more pounds she gave me my first" You will be too skinny" comment. I explained that I know what I look like and there are areas of my body that still need to lose and not to be worried and that as long as measurements go down I wont focus on the scale. I just think everyone was so used to seeing me 60 to 70 pounds overweight they really don't know what I would look like in great shape.

maryarlenasmith

One week ago yesterday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and posted a picture of myself on FB. Along with the picture was the reason I posted it....to motivate others to come out of their comfort zone.

My goal is to lose weight to fit back into my wedding dress, that I will be wearing in 6 weeks.

My strength to post my picture (and I hate pictures) allowed other to show their support (and oh my was it overwhelming), but also allowed other to see that going outside their comfort zone wasn't a bad thing.

This past sunday (which marked 7 days since starting my modified Keto diet), I posted a picture again...showing the progress that I made. I had lost 9 lbs in 7 days! WOW!

From that post my friends and family started to take notice, and started asking me what I was doing differnently. At first I was just PMing them what my doctor had told me, and what I was doing....then more and more people started asking me...

So I decided to start a "Safe" group on FB. Completely private for my friends only, where there is no judgements, and where we could all encourage each other and support each other.

My group as of today has over 10 members! Again WOW!! I never thought in a million years that sharing my journey and inviting others to know my deepest hardship, would turn into something so positive!!

Sivadee00

Years ago, there was a mixed bag of reaction with my starting to lose weight. Most people supported me but sometimes I'd get strange comments from acquaintances. At that time, the man in my life didn't like my changing weight. Apparently, this is not uncommon from what I've read. Some relationships fall apart when one person feels more empowered and loses weight. Thankfully, my ex and I parted ways and I have happily moved on.

Judikim118

I stop caring what others say at this time. I am going to borrow a line from Corrine the bachelor and say you do you and I do me!
When I was looking fit in my eyes I would get the comments like. You are too skinny, don't you eat, don't lose anymore weight, or you can stop now. People
Try to sabotage me all the time by offering me food.


Now that I am heavier and haven't lost the baby weight yet. I get the negative. What happen to her, she is letting herself go. Now if I take seconds I get the dirty look.

Once I get back to my goal I will tune every negative person out! Because I am doing all of this for me.

Alisak82

I hear.... Oh but you carry your weight so well! Why do you wanna slim down???? UHHHH CAUSE IM TIRED OF CARRYING ALL THIS WEIGHT LOL

VeggieBarbells

I think people become uncomfortable with your success. Lets be honest most people fail at weight loss, they never keep it off. So it's easy to think, ahhh he or she will soon give up and go back to no exercise and eating crap.

So when you get to year one, year two and they realise its a lifestyle change its becomes embarrassing to them but not to you. Hopefully that makes sense.

Anyways's I've had the 'jeez don't lose any more' comment. The 'you look great but aren't you over doing it?'. << Think about that statement for a second (RME). And the - 'you better be careful else there'll be nothing left of you'.

To be fair, each to their own. I used to be 30 lbs heavier and never thought I had a problem. One day someone told me to change my LinkedIn picture cos the fat person no longer exists. Now that was a reaction I didn't mind.

JeromeBarry1

My wife loves me at any size and shape, it seems. My loss has rubbed off on her a bit, as she's taken to exercising a little. There's more progress to be made, though.
My adult children living with me don't praise and don't criticize. They both used MFP years before I learned about it. My old workplace noticed and several co-workers, men and women, started using MFP and counting their calories or trying something else to lose weight. It's working for several of them and for the one who spent money on a something else plan, it's not. My new workplace has no-one who has ever seen me obese, so I'm the skinny guy to them.
My church folks have been very supportive of me.
My cousins who saw me were pleased and supportive. The ones who asked about my goal were shocked and dismayed. I'm presently at a weight below that suggested by those cousins and my doctor.

VeggieBarbells

dakotababy wrote: »

My trick is to find a new job after ever 40lbs lost to avoid the whole "your getting too skinny" comments. Luckily, during my loss of 100lbs, I just so happened to switch jobs at just the right time to avoid the comments.

The most annoying experience I had was having the same idiot commenting on my "diet" every day. He would ask "oh so are you still on your diet?" and I mean...its been 4 years! So I would often throw back a "depends what your definition of a diet is." and things would typically go down hill from there. It was just annoying constantly being asked the same thing and people calling it a "diet", when really I eat the exact same way as I always did, just a lot less (and I work out from time to time)

I can so relate to this, its called lifestyle! Great focus @dakotababy

jen_092

tiffanifair wrote: »

I assured them that if it doesn't look good I am well aware of how to gain some weight back LOL :P

I'm so stealing this line! Lol!

jen_092

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

I'm presently at a weight below that suggested by those cousins and my doctor.

Yeah, I was very surprised the last time I was at the doctor. I had lost 20 pounds which landed me barely in "normal" BMI, finally. I expected some positive reinforcement but the nurse seemed concerned like maybe I was ill and that's why it happened; no other reaction. My doctor didn't say anything, even though the weight loss helped my blood pressure and migraines.

amusedmonkey

jennypapage wrote: »

I have to say i'm amazed at some of the comments people have gotten.
Everyone has been really good about my weight loss. My colleagues were complimenting me while i was losing, and asked me what i was doing. I said calorie counting and they accepted that,no further questions. I had to stop working for 6 months,so when i came back i was almost done with losing weight and i had started running as exercise,and the difference in how i looked was quite big.
Some people at first didn't recognize me, but everyone said i looked great. They were shocked in a good way. Then they asked me if i was still cal.counting and how much i had left to lose.They said that i shouldn't lose any more, 'cause i was getting too thin. They said it out of concern,not in a bad way, and they were right, i was starting to get too thin.
They never comment in what i eat, and when colleagues bring sweets due to birthdays, etc. i always take one, even though i might not eat it there and then. It might have to do with the fact i live in europe and being thin is actually the norm.We also don't get bombarded much with magic pills and fad diets.In a couple of months i'll visit my family and i'll see what they have to say.

My experience has been pretty similar. I only had one comment from an older friend of the family (in her late 80s) last fall who said "you look great now, don't lose any more weight. You want some reserves for the winter". Other than that the comments have been positive or non-existent. Some surprised, some complements, some "I wish (X) would go on your diet".

Zero comments about my food and eating, but my social eating is not very different from the way I used to socially eat before, so nothing stands out. Funny enough, I do get comments about not eating meat. People who have known me for 35 years but still ask me "why aren't you eating any meat?" EVERY SINGLE TIME. Well, you know I don't like meat. What's worse is when they start feeling guilty that they haven't cooked something for me specifically. Seriously, stop, There is plenty of food and it's all delicious. That's how I've always happily eaten and even my family did not have put in extra effort to accommodate me. It's as simple as not putting meat on my plate or just pushing it aside. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact that culturally meat is usually the centerpiece of celebrations and a token of hospitality. Ah well, sorry for the unrelated tangent.

jenilla1

I occasionally get asked what my "secret" is. (It's basically just staying within my calorie goals and being physically active a few times a week.) They think that what I do couldn't possibly work for them. They think I'm "lucky" or exceptional in some way. But really, it's just an excuse to not even try for themselves. It's not like what I do is difficult. It's straightforward. Not mysterious at all.

There are a couple of people who have asked for advice more than once, only to shrug it off and fall back on old methods that end up failing yet again. I would like for those people in particular to stop rolling their eyes and whining about how easy I've got it with my "good genes" and "how real their struggle is" compared to people like me who are "just naturally fit." It's pretty disrespectful and dismissive of the care and effort I take with my health and fitness. I didn't just magically wake up like this. It's not a ton of work, but it does take discipline and self-control.

It's fine if others choose not to take care of themselves, but don't act like people who are fit just got lucky. I generally could care less what others think, but it does get tiresome hearing the excuses and the whining.

I do have one person who amuses me, though. This is a guy who is always trying to sell me on his latest health/fitness/diet craze, telling me about how great it's working for him and how I should try it, etc. This guy is not in great shape, he's always struggled with his weight. He will occasionally stick with something long enough to lose significant weight, but then he always ends up backsliding again. It's funny how he tries to educate me when I'm clearly already right where I want to be, happy with my own methods, and doing just fine. Maybe no one else will listen?

gymprincess1234

I've herd these
Have you lost weight?
You're snatched! What have you been doing?
OMG, you look like a completely different person!
I didn't recognize you!
You have lost a lot of weight!
I was scared to ask if you've lost weight, in case you had cancer or something.
You're shifting shapes!
Where did that waist came from?!
Good job/Proud of you
That's impressive

Haven't heard anything negative, but I've seen people that I know check me out, clearly seeing a difference, but saying nothing, mostly close friends, cause they didn't comment on my figure when I was obese either, which is fine with me.

A lot of the nice comments are followed with negative comments about their own bodies, which I find awkward. People would be like " Wow, you've lost a lot, you look great! I should lose my belly, but have no motivation." And I'm just standing there in silence, cause I don't share the lack of motivation

youdoyou2016

My mom recently said to me that if I lose any more weight she'll call DYFS (pronounced "die-fuss"), which stands for The Division of Youth and Family Services in our state (the child protection agency).

I told her that didn't even make sense, that usually it's parents who are reported and ... Wait? What? I'm 47 ...

After losing 120 lbs, it's the first and only thing anyone in my family has said to me. (Ironic, that she brings up DYFS, isn't it?)

SafioraLinnea

Someone recently asked if I was sure my seven month old was mine because "there is no way I've lost that much weight and had a baby too".

Erm. My csection scar says yes, I had a baby seven months ago and yes, I have worked daily for the last six months to lose the weight and the baby is helping.

Got to love those hidden compliments or is it hidden insults? Both? Yep.

jenilla1

Judikim118 wrote: »

doosalily15

I like the questions.....oooo WHO U LOSING WEIGHT FOR?
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS? WHAT ARE YOU TAKING? UGHHH

ccruz985

I've had almost 100% positive feedback. I overall feel very supported and I never have people offer me food or push food on me. If anything, it's the opposite! My office is so cool with it and when the guys who work at store across the street from my job asked me how I lost so much weight, they started weighing my fruit for me without me asking!