Grossed out by excessive eating after losing weight?

SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants

I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.

I agree the responses are really harsh. Many people go on an Emotional roller-coaster when they start out. Judgement, anger, grief are ALL part of the process, at least they were for me. Everyone tries to make this journey sound so simple. Its not. Food and ALL the feelings associated with change must be processed and sometimes those feelings aren't so pretty. Who are you guys to shame her over it? I don't think shes at risk of getting an eating disorder. I think shes Awakened and most likely cant believe whats shes seeing now. If our society didn't eat so dang much we wouldn't have an obesity problem. Period.

Yea, this is true; everyone judges. The responses are varied, but not really "harsh". What you're seeing is a collective input of opinions. I judge like everyone else; however I personally don't feel it's my job to butt into other people's lives and police other people's eating habits. Not only is it not my business; I simply don't care that much.

It's one thing to judge someone -- it's purely another to open your mouth and involve yourself in someone else's business.

"Who are you guys to shame her over it?"

If you are going to ask this question, then I must ask as well: who is she to shame other people over their eating habits?

But she DIDNT shame him. She didnt say anything to him. She made the mistake of telling MFP Forum so that now instead of supporting a woman at the beginning of her journey with good advice ( a lot Ive actually seen popping up) she could be told shes this, that and the other, re-evaluate your relationship with food, eating disorder, blah blah..

I may have missed it but who said she had an eating disorder?

Also,

So today I noticed for the first time that when people overeat I get disgusted

Especially as it was a normal meal

He ate his whole meal and her fries too. and pie. Thats normal? Obviously we dont know anything about her dad. Maybe he has lots of cals to spare since he just left the gym? IDK. but no matter what, eating 1.5 fast food meals is no good for the human body. Im guessing the sodium alone was off the charts. She got disgusted. SO WHAT????? Its her dad and she loves him and wants him to live a long life. HOW she goes about life and TREATING people is what matters. Since she didnt say anything rude and it was just an observation, I dont see the harm. I think the key is to observe our thoughts. Observe our behaviors. Thats the only way to actually change anything. Maybe she just needs to avoid eating out with people that are gorging themselves. If it made me sick to my stomach I certainly would,. Because my job is to take care of ME. And I dont have to be around ANYTHING that I dislike. For ANY reason. I dont care if society thinks its OK, or Im an a** if I disagree. That part of the whole personal power thing is what gave me the strength to change my life.

Wut?

This. If it was someone I loved I'd worry about them. Disgust has nothing to do with caring and loving someone. I would characterize that as quite the opposite feeling. If people I love are disgusted with me, I'd rather them not keep that a secret. If you're worried about them you can be open with someone and 'treat' someone just fine. The disgust part, yeah, don't go hiding that behind love. Love isn't disgusted.

I see some people suggesting she TELL her dad shes disgusted. Or to tell him HOW to eat. Thats where I disagree! Power of example, SELF-CARE is what she (or anyone in this position) should do (in MY opinion). Im not ever going to walk up to someone and say " I love you but Im disgusted by you". If its family, as was her case, I might make a topic of all the healthy changes Ive made and if they WANT to discuss it and/or ask for help, Id help them in any way I could. I dont believe in shaming people into change. People change when and if they want to. I was obese for 6 years and went through many embarrassing moments, INCLUDING my mother saying very hurtful things to me about my weight. It didnt make me change, it broke my heart that the one person thats should love me no matter what was judging me. Guess it depends on How you say something, but in my case it wasnt said with love or by a fit person so it did little good to help me.

susannamarie

Wow. Some people on here are just shining their little halo's, aren't they?! :grumble:

No, I don't think it sounds like you're developing an eating disorder as some people have suggested. Yes, I think it is very normal to have a heightened awareness of others eating habits now that you are being healthier and it can be an unpleasant experience to watch someone stuffing their face with food. It makes me feel sick. However, that should be an entirely internal thing, be careful not to judge and be too harsh on people who choose to eat that way.

Gosh, there's a real difference between unpleasant and 'I felt like vomiting'.

If she really did feel like vomiting (which is what she first said) I would be quite concerned. Her followup posts were much more clear, but they hadn't yet been posted when I responded.

hookilau

Boundaries my friend, boundaries.

allisonrinkel

Since I have lost weight, I get grossed out when I myself overeat. I have noticed that since I have lost weight, other friends and family who are overweight have asked me what I do and I how I lost it, yet they do nothing I suggest for themselves, and continue eating crummy food and not getting off their butts. It's definitely a struggle for me to keep perspective and to not judge them, because it's not my place to judge their habits. I have noticed though that I have a hard time not judging friends who I know want to lose weight but keep their bad habits. I am no where close to "perfect" or happy with my body, but seeing friends and family constantly disrespecting their own bodies is also pretty sad. Maybe I'm on my way to an eating disorder like some people have suggested about the OP, but I can understand where she is coming from to a certain degree. I would never say anything to my friends and family about their eating habits unless they asked me to.

Achrya

Wow. Some people on here are just shining their little halo's, aren't they?! :grumble:

No, I don't think it sounds like you're developing an eating disorder as some people have suggested. Yes, I think it is very normal to have a heightened awareness of others eating habits now that you are being healthier and it can be an unpleasant experience to watch someone stuffing their face with food. It makes me feel sick. However, that should be an entirely internal thing, be careful not to judge and be too harsh on people who choose to eat that way.

Yeah, not being a jerk and judging those around me means I'm shining my halo.

Or maybe I'm a person who eats large meals and think its rude as hell that someone is out there judging me. I'm not overeating or putting on weight, but damn right I'd eat a whole turkey sammich, with fries and gravy, and some damn pie if i went out to eat. I'd probably put some ice cream on that pie too. Maybe some caramel syrup (I assume it's apple pie, cause that's the best pie) To you and the OP and some other folks this would be 'gross' but to ME the only than that's gross is the fact you don't see a problem with your attitude.

I'm gonna go eat two breakfast burritos and some cream of wheat now.

angeeishere

You have on your judgypants dear, you're going to need to learn to take them off now.

Yup...

chunkydunk714

How quick of you to forget where you came from...

seltzermint555

I'm not really grossed out at all by other peoples' eating. I guess for me, if I eat something "horrible" like a shrimp po boy, super cheesy pizza, or a sundae, it is perfectly ok to me because it's balanced by a healthy meal before and after, and my week's overall eating is really moderate and decent. So I tend to assume that's how other people are too when they indulge...even if that is NOT always the case and they really are gorging on chicken-fried steak with gravy, chili fries, and cheesecake at every meal. Whatever.

delaniecastillo

I love gravy.

rml_16

If I'm going out to dinner, I'm going out to enjoy it and EAT. Period.

I always overeat in restaurants and pretty much always eat all of what I get.

I don't care what other people eat.

leaellenj

Is disgusted really the word you meant to use?
You said you wanted to say something to him about his habits? So is this a regular thing?
Maybe you really felt CONCERNED for your dad's health.
Maybe you really felt DISAPPOINTMENT that he hadn't taken a cue from your new healthy ways.
Maybe you really felt SADNESS within yourself for the way you used to eat.

No, I don't think being disgusted is normal, and it is a little judgemental but I think you maybe actually felt one of the above emotions or something else.

tj1376

I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.

I'm always confused by people who admit that they engage in jerk-like behavior so freely.

Seems to be alot of judging going around. Everyone has jerk like behavior, some just share it/show it more often. The only way you are going to learn to accept yourself is if you ask questions about whether something is right or not, which is what the OP is doing.

hippikris

I understand the feeling of being grossed out by how others eat, but it is not always about the amount or what they choose to eat, it is more about the action, the poor table manners or the putting too much in their mouth, I do not judge folks for what they eat, as I would not want someone to do that to me. I grew up being told, " you don't really need that." as an adult I still heard " why are you eating that or don't you think you have had enough" from my mother. or if not words than just her disapproving look.

I know where my issues with food and table manners came from and I know that I have a long battle ahead of me with food.
I do not think you are developing an eating disorder, or that you are becoming overly "judgey" I think you are just feeling sensitive, as you are just starting out.

stay focused on you. you are doing a good thing for you, it may not be what everyone needs or wants for themselves right now. It is difficult when you are watching someone you care about eat like this on a regular basis. I know, I have been the person eating poorly and I am the person watching my loved one eat himself into kidney failure and a lost leg.

good luck on your journey. take is slow and take pride in your accomplishments. do not get caught up with how others eat or how they react to you and your journey.

on another note, I keep reading posts on here and other message boards where people are expressing issues, or asking questions, and people become overly hostile or critical with these folks. I thought this site was a way to find support and to encourage people to live a healthy lifestyle. maybe I am missing the point.

sunshyncatra

If I ever start to feel that way, I think about how snobby I thought people who only ate half their lunch seemed before I started this journey. That fixes it.

khall86790

Now if someone at my table requested gravy on his or her pie, that might bother me a little bit........

What if it's Shepherd's Pie?

You better believe I get a bucket load of gravy all over my shepherds pie.

j724mecham

Wow...people on here. I know how you're feeling. I will see my friends and co-workers just pile down the food. I think it's just that you've increased your awareness. I am hoping and don't think you literally mean you want to throw up, but that it's just shocking. People on here seem to take things literally so if you say "It makes me want to die," you may get some messages about suicide prevention. Anyways, point is that it's good to be aware as long as you're not making others feel embarrassed.

seltzermint555

If I'm going out to dinner, I'm going out to enjoy it and EAT. Period.

I always overeat in restaurants and pretty much always eat all of what I get.

I don't care what other people eat.

I'm kind of this way. I tend to order healthier, cheaper, smaller entrees and no app/dessert but yeah I almost ALWAYS finish my food when I go out to a restaurant. I've been poor on/off throughout my adult life and I'm really frugal so to go get a deli sandwich and throw away half of it would seriously KILL ME. I was raised comfortably middle class in the 80's but you would think I was raised in the Depression or something LOL.

NatureChik1985

I'm confused by the responses. Yes, I feel that way. I often say something. Not mean, just kinda like, "wow. I gues you're hungry, eh?"

I'm very judgey of that with friends and family. If its an occasion, I don't care. But, if it's as you described, yes, that's too much food for a person.

My buddies wife spoke up and gave me her opinion on how much I ate once... I embarrased her in front of the whole restaurant when I gave her my opinion. She never commented on my diet ever again after that. She also made the mistake of telling me (while with a group of friends) that my boobs had gotten really small. That didn't end well for her either.

I don't mind if people judge me because I will tell them where to go and how to get there (with a smile on my face).

littlelouis

Ask yourself this: Is it disgust or jealousy? I used to be "disgusted" by people's overeating, but thinking about it now, I was just jealous that they could eat that much without a care in the world. I still do get disgusted (read: jealous), but I've also struggled with disordered eating, so I would say no, it's not normal.

08kat

I agree, just a tad on the judgemental side.