Support from significant other...
Replies
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My boyfriend is fairly encouraging. We both have different goals, I want to lose and he wants to gain, so I often feel like we but head when it comes to meals when we eat out. It was his birthday the other day, and we went out for food, food that I should not have been eating but was great for him and his gaining mission. I caved and instead of normal portions I ate everything on my plate. It was a real eye opener. We had a talk last night, I didn't mean to put blame on him or make him feel bad because it was my decision to eat all the food. He felt guilty for throwing temptations in my face and yeah. We're working on it, we just need to find a healthy balance for the both of us that works ?3
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My boyfriend is very supportive. I took him to the gym with me when I first started lifting (he used to be a PT), and he showed me how to do all the compound lifts...we don't get to go together much anymore cause of our schedules, but having somebody in it with me keeps me motivated nonetheless.
I'm also into BJJ and Muay Thai, and hope to fight MMA someday...and he thinks it's awesome and doesn't judge me at all for sinking all this time and money into getting punched in the face for fun. Lol.
I'm pretty lucky.
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Sweet_Heresy wrote: »My boyfriend is very supportive. I took him to the gym with me when I first started lifting (he used to be a PT), and he showed me how to do all the compound lifts...we don't get to go together much anymore cause of our schedules, but having somebody in it with me keeps me motivated nonetheless.
I'm also into BJJ and Muay Thai, and hope to fight MMA someday...and he thinks it's awesome and doesn't judge me at all for sinking all this time and money into getting punched in the face for fun. Lol.
I'm pretty lucky.
Pretty awesome0 -
My husband is pretty supportive. He does his best, for sure.
First of all, he makes sure I know he loves me at any size. I've never felt pressured to lose the weight so he'll appreciate me.
And he's been trying so hard not to feed into my bad habits (going out for late night snacks, whole pints of Ben and Jerrys, maple bars the size of my head every Saturday, etc). I know it's hard for him because he's 6'4" and he just naturally doesn't eat at a surplus, even when he's indulging in junk. But he also knows i have serious issues with binging so he keeps his junky snacks at work.
I think the only issue we really have is that he doesn't like to share my time with the gym. So I kind of have no choice but to go at 11pm a few days a week. Today he was really crabby when I went for a work out before lunch. That's been the hardest part. I'd love to work out after dinner and get to bed at a reasonable hour but then he feels like he didn't see enough of me and he gets into really passive aggressive moods. It's part of why I fell off the wagon last time. I felt so guilty for prioritizing myself at his "expense" that I just stopped prioritizing myself. Now I'm just doing what I have to do to keep the peace and take care of myself.5 -
My husband is supportive. He is struggling with weight loss and appetite himself and I am trying to help him. He sabotages himself a lot and refuses to log but at least I can get him to the gym with me. He has lost a few lb. I lost 40 lb. He weighs 300 and his ideal weight would be 225 according to the doctor. Yes, he has a body like a tank lol. He wants me to be in my best health. I want him to be in his best health. We are both prediabetic, my A1C is worse than his. I also take Lipitor for hyperlipidemia. His cholesterol is just a touch high but could be controlled with proper diet. Mine's an issue of liver overproducing cholesterol. I do know he finds me more attractive with the weight off so I'm sure that is also a factor in his supporting my keeping the weight off and staying fit. I'm teaching him how to put together healthy work lunches. He's learning to cook healthy dinners. It's a joint effort.3
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Reading these responses makes me really angry on behalf of some of you ladies.
emotionless hole? I would leave. I did leave someone like that actually. The divorce was no fun but I'm glad I did it. I feel pretty lucky to have a good husband who is on board with me. 10 -
My husband is extremely supportive. He knows how beneficial health and fitness are to my life, health, mental and emotional well-being, happiness, confidence, career (dance). Plus he enjoys me fit. And he also helps me not be so hard on myself.2
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My bf has always supported me with losing weight but refused to join in and he's finally doing it! I still feel kind of alone because he works graveyard and we only get to see each other for a very short period of time during the day. I have to do all the cooking but honestly whatever I can do to support him as well.3
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BrokeBirkin wrote: »My bf has always supported me with losing weight but refused to join in and he's finally doing it! I still feel kind of alone because he works graveyard and we only get to see each other for a very short period of time during the day. I have to do all the cooking but honestly whatever I can do to support him as well.
That would be hard being on different shifts. So glad to see that you are making it work
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My husband is,really supportive of me and my goals...i started my weight loss journey right after Easter. I was looking into WLS but I had a prior surgery that made the risks of,the surgery triple that of the average person...so the clinic where I go had the HMR diet..the cost of the food and weekly classes all out of pocket expense...my husband paid about half his paycheck every week up until last month so that I could try to get my health back..I was very sick...so now im on here counting calories since I've learned about them and while my loss isn't as aggressive as it was in clinic it's still decent...so yeah...I'm a lucky gal5
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My fiancé is supportive. He asks me how my workouts are and we do a lot of active things when we spend time together or go on vacation.
He still buys me treats on occasion but I don't see it as him sabotaging my efforts. It's just a habit for him and I know that he doesn't fully understand how much food plays a role in weight loss (he thinks losing weight is done by just working out). I just thank him and save it for later. I think sometimes we can be a little too hard on our significant others.4 -
My hubby is very supportive. He actually started before I did although had much less to lose. He didn't/doesn't track was just increasing exercise and trying not to eat junk. So when I started to track he lost weight faster because he would eat the same dinner as I did and there is less junk in the house. He also is less inclined to eat out and hates fast food so is a good influence that way. We share the cooking and both cook relatively healthy. He also loves me at whatever size, we just want to be healthy together.
My only extremely minor complaint is that he doesn't want me to exercise after work more that twice a week, which is the only time I can swim. This is understandable since we have 2 kids, one special needs, who usually needs a lot of help with homework. So it is more of a problem with circumstances (why isnt the pool open earlier) rather than hubby. He has no problem with me exercising at other times.2 -
My bf and I have been together almost 2 years and when I told him about starting this plan he looked me in the eye and said I am behind you 100% because he wants me to live a long life with him. He eats everything I cook which has all been healthy, offers to allow me to choose where we eat out so I have healthy options when he made gumbo and I was at a meeting he wrote down everything he had into the pot weighed and measured it and I put it in my fitness pal to figure out the serving sizes and the calories. I absolutely have the best support system in the world with my bf Darrell. 9
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Wow. I think a few of you would be happier ditching the weight of awful husbands.9
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Mine joined in with me to get rid of his middle aged paunch.
He's not quite got the hang of the fact that I only have about 2/3 of the calories to play with that he does, though! I've quietly shoved a few things that he's bought into the freezer!3 -
Mine joined in with me to get rid of his middle aged paunch.
He's not quite got the hang of the fact that I only have about 2/3 of the calories to play with that he does, though! I've quietly shoved a few things that he's bought into the freezer!
I am NOT above hiding treats in a bag of frozen veggies. LOL!4 -
jesssiebee1983 wrote: »Wow. I think a few of you would be happier ditching the weight of awful husbands.
One of these days Imma be like, "I lost 230 lbs of ugly fat!"
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My husband is just the best ever - so supportive. He's awesome.
He never offers me food that I'd like to eat - or may find difficult to resist - if he knows that I choose not to eat it (due to calorie/fat/sugar/whatever content). This has been a learned habit for him as he is so accustomed to doing the "polite" thing and offering to everyone.
If he's cooking, he'll weigh out my food for me. He does healthy options for me - he made a roast dinner recently and did boiled potatoes for me, roast potatoes for the rest of the family. He'll also eat whatever I prepare even if it isn't his favourite food to eat.
He looks after the children so that I can go out for hours on my bike. I'm usually out for 2-3 hours a day, starting early in the morning so he gets the children up, dressed and ready for the day.
He fixes my bike when it goes wrong; the last time he was up late at night fixing a puncture I'd come home with so that I could go out again the following day. We went to a bike shop a couple of weeks ago for a part for my bike and he said, why didn't we just buy a new bike. So we did And the new bike is beyond wonderful.
He goes out with me and the children for long, meandering walks and encourages the children to keep going when they've had enough and we are miles from home.
He tolerates my incessant yabbering about weight loss and fitness goals.
He sorts out my technological issues - I am a complete technophobe and nearly threw my Garmin thingy away because I couldn't fathom it out. He sorted it - and me! - out. Same with my iPod and phone. These things confuse me
He celebrates every pound lost - I am now smaller than I've ever been during the time that I've known him (28 years now) and he comments every time I announce a loss that he's never seen me so slim. That's about as far as he goes with comments - he's not one to comment on people's appearances, even mine. Although he did once say that I was getting "quite curvy" and he asked where my behind had disappeared to!
He bolsters my confidence when I have a bad week, or a water weight gain and reassures me that it'll disappear again, and to remember just how far I've come over the last 13/14 months.
And he loves me unconditionally, regardless of size. If pushed he'll say that he never cared about what size I was as he loved me for me, not for my shape. But he knows how important it is to me to reach my goal weight and be healthy and active so he does all that he can to support me.
There are probably hundreds of other things that I take for granted but can't think of right now. He's ace. Totally the best and I adore him
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My SO has gained a LOT of weight since we moved in together. He protests if I turn down the ice cream/cookies/cake that he lovingly offers me every single night, and tells me that I am "crazy and insane" for wanting to exercise and that no one in their right mind would bike the way I do. In his own way he's telling me he's impressed with me, but I still hear it literally. On the flip side, he knows I love to be active and encourages me to get out there and go at it when I don't feel like it. He buys me bike gear and volunteers as a SAG wagon driver for a charity bike ride I do every year.1
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my bf is no support at all I only have 11 pounds left until my goal weight since having my son last November I've lost 75lbs, he has never once told me a kind word never tells me I look good, if I bring it up he acts like he just doest care some days it really gets to me5
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My husband is a huge support. I told him I was finally ready to eat healthy and lose weight. He was so happy for me he does my low carb diet with me. He cheats more than I do but luckily he usually waits until I'm not around. He encourages me to pick fresh veggies and cook at home. He constantly tells me when he thinks I'm looking slimmer and how proud he is of me. I know it's still quite a shock when he hears me talk about foods I want to make but he loves it. I'm so lucky to have him. Not sure I would keep going without him.5
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After 1.5 years of trying and miserably failing, I asked my partner to take over with food shops and if not cooking, at least oversee my portion control. (Rice and pasta? Dont ask...) For 6 years I have always cooked, and never thought to ask if he'd like a shot - so I am so pleasantly surprised that not only is he happy to make all dinners...he is making beautiful healthy home cooked meals!! Homemade curry, carbonara, lentil and coconut soup, etc. Lost 4lbs in 2 weeks and come home to a gorgeous meal. (He finishes work 30 mins before me) I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and already feeling my self esteem improving and also really impressed with this new turn our relationship has taken!11
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ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »My husband is an emotionless hole. Not in any way supportive or caring. Sad part is I have turned off my feelings in an effort not to let it bother me anymore.
I know what you mean... mine is a bit like this and more. It gets me really down as where I live I don't have any close friends or family nearby.
And it's easy to say leave but we have a dog and I will not leave the dog with him.
Sorry for the downer. Those with supportive partners, you are both so very, very lucky.0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I am sorry, but this is like a ticking relationship timebomb.
I don't need motivation from my wife, nor do I pressure my wife to come to the gym with me or lose weight or eat a diet.
Most couples are at different wavelengths about fitness and diet and that's okay.
It's kind of inconsiderate to push an agenda on your spouse.
In fact, I enjoy my lone time at the gym. I will be distracted if Missus Cutaway is around. She will make me walk the treadmill next to her and chit chat the whole time while exercising. I need music to work out.
That's not what this thread is about.7 -
I am so sorry for all of those that doesn't have a supportive spouse/SO. When I met my SO I was 268 pounds and he thought I was beautiful and sexy. He saw me get to 300 with our second child and never complained on belittled me. When I complained he would say I got you pregnant so it's my fault jokingly.
I have attempted several diets over the last five years. He has always been supportive even when I failed and never commented on it. This time around it has stuck and I have lost close to a hundred pounds so far. He again tells me I am beautiful and sexy. But what he is most pleased with is he says that he doesn't worry about my health as bad. I can walk up the stairs without getting out of breath. He tells me now that really worried him. But never said anything before.
The hard part about my weight loss is he is skinny and at 47 can still wear the size he wore in high school. The man can eat. He will eat as much as a line backer at times and lose weight, huh. He is an extremely picky eater and I can only to get him to eat 'healthy' foods maybe once a week. He would live on burgers and sausage if I would fix it daily. In fact that was the only thing in his fridge when I moved in with him. He still eats fast food once a week it doesn't bother me most of the time. He always has junk and soda in the house. I just keep my alternatives to.2 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I am sorry, but this is like a ticking relationship timebomb.
I don't need motivation from my wife, nor do I pressure my wife to come to the gym with me or lose weight or eat a diet.
Most couples are at different wavelengths about fitness and diet and that's okay.
It's kind of inconsiderate to push an agenda on your spouse.
In fact, I enjoy my lone time at the gym. I will be distracted if Missus Cutaway is around. She will make me walk the treadmill next to her and chit chat the whole time while exercising. I need music to work out.
Aren't you a bowl of sunshine? This thread isn't for you. Bye.8 -
Support for me is: My husband understands my health issues and strict diet (for medical reasons). He is supportive helping to make sure I have the food I need. He doesn't complain about my diet. He can eat what he wants. I don't let it impact my family. He built me a bench for hip thrusts that could turn around and be a dollhouse (when our daughters were young enough to play with dolls). He got me a barbell cut from a steel pipe at the metal supermarket. He does active things with me for recreation that are fun (walks, hiking, dancing). He pays attention to details and comes up with easy solutions that help and just make things easier. He helps me when I get injured. He compliments me. He encourages me. I don't need him to motivate me. But, it's nice to have support. When I start at a new gym a few times he would get a five day pass and spot me while I try the new place out. He does this because that's just the kind of person he is.8
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I am sorry, but this is like a ticking relationship timebomb.
I don't need motivation from my wife, nor do I pressure my wife to come to the gym with me or lose weight or eat a diet.
Most couples are at different wavelengths about fitness and diet and that's okay.
It's kind of inconsiderate to push an agenda on your spouse.
In fact, I enjoy my lone time at the gym. I will be distracted if Missus Cutaway is around. She will make me walk the treadmill next to her and chit chat the whole time while exercising. I need music to work out.
Aren't you a bowl of sunshine? This thread isn't for you. Bye.
I am sorry you feel that way. I know most if not all of us love and need that support from our significant other. It is vital to a relationship. I believe having a supportive partner helps to reach your goals faster. Just my opinion. 0 -
bethannien wrote: »My husband is pretty supportive. He does his best, for sure.
First of all, he makes sure I know he loves me at any size. I've never felt pressured to lose the weight so he'll appreciate me.
And he's been trying so hard not to feed into my bad habits (going out for late night snacks, whole pints of Ben and Jerrys, maple bars the size of my head every Saturday, etc). I know it's hard for him because he's 6'4" and he just naturally doesn't eat at a surplus, even when he's indulging in junk. But he also knows i have serious issues with binging so he keeps his junky snacks at work.
I think the only issue we really have is that he doesn't like to share my time with the gym. So I kind of have no choice but to go at 11pm a few days a week. Today he was really crabby when I went for a work out before lunch. That's been the hardest part. I'd love to work out after dinner and get to bed at a reasonable hour but then he feels like he didn't see enough of me and he gets into really passive aggressive moods. It's part of why I fell off the wagon last time. I felt so guilty for prioritizing myself at his "expense" that I just stopped prioritizing myself. Now I'm just doing what I have to do to keep the peace and take care of myself.
I'm a little concerned about having this same issue with my OH after I move in with him, which will be the end of October. Right now I see him Wed and Fri night, and on the weekends at various times, so I have plenty of time to fit in exercise on our off days. I think I'll establish a routine of going to the gym as soon as I move in so he doesn't get used to having me around every night.
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For this alone I love you.PuppyBelly wrote: »...And it's easy to say leave but we have a dog and I will not leave the dog with him...3
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