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What's on your mind?

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Replies

  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    ...and you're not alone, sadly
  • Keep_on_cardio
    Keep_on_cardio Posts: 4,166 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    ...and you're not alone, sadly

    And sadly, married but alone
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    I think love or the idea of love just seems like a better option than loneliness for some - until that partner starts wearing on them and that infatuation feeling leaves then love sucks and they would rather be alone again - it’s a vicious cycle of this human condition yo 🤷‍♂️ we are a bit high maintenance I spose maybe

    insightful and hugged
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3
  • bojack5
    bojack5 Posts: 2,859 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.

    Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.

    Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real

    FTR, I know situations can actually be complicated. 🤗
  • Reckoner68
    Reckoner68 Posts: 2,139 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.

    Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real

    FTR, I know situations can actually be complicated. 🤗

    ...I thought about tagging you on that response, hahaha
  • _sw33tp3a_11
    _sw33tp3a_11 Posts: 4,692 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.

    I've learned long ago to never speak about my private life on this forum. People are brutal with their judgements but I do agree with this.
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?

    What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.

    But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.

    I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️

    🤷‍♀️ maybe?

    i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.

    i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.

    I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that

    You're definitely not alone on this.

    +3

    I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.

    Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.

    I've learned long ago to never speak about my private life on this forum. People are brutal with their judgements but I do agree with this.

    I made that mistake once a few years back. Now I keep it as vague as I can :laugh:
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷‍♂️
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷‍♂️

    You are certainly right on that. There have been psychological studies that show the "chase" of someone new is as addictive as any other vice.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    edited September 2019
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷‍♂️

    Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?

    And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?

    Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?

    I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.

    I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy
  • Cowsfan1
    Cowsfan1 Posts: 7,937 Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷‍♂️

    Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?

    And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?

    Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?

    I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.

    I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy

    I think that answer is different for all of us - which is right - should you keep your vow of better or worse even when you’re unhappy af .. personally I was of that mind set right - otherwise why say the words - why not change the vows to say for better and as much worse as I can stand lol -

    Marriage is hard af - I don’t think anyone is perfect - everyone situation is different and the human mind is complex af .. hell a year ago right after my split my thoughts on this were quite different and I was hardcore you stay no matter what - but maybe her leaving really was the best thing in hind sight - hurt like a son beech and still does at times but I wasn’t happy nor was she - so who knows -

    Good post Sara got us thinking again
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷‍♂️

    Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?

    And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?

    Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?

    I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.

    I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy

    I think that answer is different for all of us - which is right - should you keep your vow of better or worse even when you’re unhappy af .. personally I was of that mind set right - otherwise why say the words - why not change the vows to say for better and as much worse as I can stand lol -

    Marriage is hard af - I don’t think anyone is perfect - everyone situation is different and the human mind is complex af .. hell a year ago right after my split my thoughts on this were quite different and I was hardcore you stay no matter what - but maybe her leaving really was the best thing in hind sight - hurt like a son beech and still does at times but I wasn’t happy nor was she - so who knows -

    Good post Sara got us thinking again

    Yeah, my thoughts on this are evolving too
  • honeybee__12
    honeybee__12 Posts: 15,688 Member
    I love my ex husband with every fiber in my being.
    I trust him with my life.

    He gets on my last nerve and there is no way I could ever live with him again.