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NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation0 -
caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation
What about when you’re so muddled in your own head you don’t know what you think? Just me? 😬0 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation
What about when you’re so muddled in your own head you don’t know what you think? Just me? 😬
Solidarity, sister. Up top ✋🏻1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation
truth doesn't have anything to do with honesty. If you look at that baby and think "that is one ugly baby" that is your perception but it is also your honest opinion. You're right, it is just an opinion but you would by lying by saying otherwise.
Radical honesty isn't about being truthful or factual, but being honest.3 -
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation
truth doesn't have anything to do with honesty. If you look at that baby and think "that is one ugly baby" that is your perception but it is also your honest opinion. You're right, it is just an opinion but you would by lying by saying otherwise.
Radical honesty isn't about being truthful or factual, but being honest.
And what about idioms? LOL & LMAO? Can an emoji be dishonest?0 -
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
How do you handle extremely awkward situations. For example, say you have a friend which an ugly baby, and she asks you "Isn't my baby just the cutest thing?"
Do you:
1) Lie
2) Say "It's a cute thing, that is for sure"
3) Other, please explain
This is one of those situations where there is no ‘truth’, just opinions. Am i harming her by saying her baby is indeed precious? (Not cute because gah) No, I’m just acknowledging her truth: that her baby is the cutest thing. To her. But to tell her my truth would certainly harm her.
This is a no harm no foul situation
truth doesn't have anything to do with honesty. If you look at that baby and think "that is one ugly baby" that is your perception but it is also your honest opinion. You're right, it is just an opinion but you would by lying by saying otherwise.
Radical honesty isn't about being truthful or factual, but being honest.
True. I missed the spirit of your challenge.
I can’t do radical honesty because I absolutely believe there is a time for white lies. When my daughter has been working on her hair for 15 painstaking minutes and then asks me my opinion.. saying anything but how cute it is isn’t an option for me. She’s 8. She will conflate her efforts with the outcome so i will praise both.
Usually it’s more about listening to what the person is asking for. “Does this dress make me look pregnant?” is more difficult to answer dishonestly than “isn’t this dress super cute? I love it” because to lie to the person who genuinely wants to look her best isn’t helping her achieve that. She would be more concerned with knowing the truth, not with having her feelings spared. In that instance i would assume that my honesty is consented to.
But yeah, when it comes down to being honest or polite, radical honesty isn’t my thing. ‘Do no harm’ is. Because maybe in a vacuum radical honesty is a virtue, but in real life it’s a social handicap and i have no interest in hurting people over things that have no real significance.3 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
I was wondering if over time it might bring greater levels of trust. I mean, if you know your partner never lies...2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins5 -
The serious answer is that when you deaden your feelings in one area, they tend to go dead all over. Likewise numbing one emotion- killing pain seems to mean also killing joy.JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
The funny answer is
Idk
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But yeah, maybe there is something to just living your truth and let the chips fall where they may. I’ll think on that.0
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
The serious answer is that when you deaden your feelings in one area, they tend to go dead all over. Likewise numbing one emotion- killing pain seems to mean also killing joy.JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
The funny answer is
Idk
i think things can happen in life that really turn the volume down on everything else.
you go along and then whoops a SOMETHING HAPPENS and its never really the same after that.
i guess you could consider it a fall that stops just short of the bottom, but in reality i think of it more like a plateau. and its endless and it just goes on forever and ever with nothing but static terrain.
thinking about life like that, i think it gets a bit easier to not care about people as much along the way.2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
The serious answer is that when you deaden your feelings in one area, they tend to go dead all over. Likewise numbing one emotion- killing pain seems to mean also killing joy.JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
The funny answer is
Idk
i think things can happen in life that really turn the volume down on everything else.
you go along and then whoops a SOMETHING HAPPENS and its never really the same after that.
i guess you could consider it a fall that stops just short of the bottom, but in reality i think of it more like a plateau. and its endless and it just goes on forever and ever with nothing but static terrain.
thinking about life like that, i think it gets a bit easier to not care about people as much along the way.
We’ve touched on this before. I appreciate the explanation/elaboration.1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
I was wondering if over time it might bring greater levels of trust. I mean, if you know your partner never lies...
I think it probably would. I also don't think feeding someones insecurities by lying is the correct approach either. If a partner is jealous or insecure, it would be better to help them work through that.3 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
I think the correct response would have been to drop to his knee and beg for forgiveness..
😉2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
fwiw you're the one in a happy marriage and im terrible with women so i think your method is probably safer in the long run5 -
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
3 -
Moon_Stone wrote: »It'd be interesting to have a hypothetical situation thread with various situations and see how people would react with radical honesty.
Do it1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean0
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