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Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+34 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.3 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.3 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real4 -
Reckoner68 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real
FTR, I know situations can actually be complicated. 🤗2 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Reckoner68 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real
FTR, I know situations can actually be complicated. 🤗
...I thought about tagging you on that response, hahaha1 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
I've learned long ago to never speak about my private life on this forum. People are brutal with their judgements but I do agree with this.3 -
r3d_butt3rfly_ wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
I've learned long ago to never speak about my private life on this forum. People are brutal with their judgements but I do agree with this.
I made that mistake once a few years back. Now I keep it as vague as I can :laugh:1 -
My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷♂️4
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My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷♂️
You are certainly right on that. There have been psychological studies that show the "chase" of someone new is as addictive as any other vice.
0 -
My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷♂️
Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?
And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?
Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?
I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.
I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy0 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷♂️
Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?
And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?
Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?
I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.
I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy
I think that answer is different for all of us - which is right - should you keep your vow of better or worse even when you’re unhappy af .. personally I was of that mind set right - otherwise why say the words - why not change the vows to say for better and as much worse as I can stand lol -
Marriage is hard af - I don’t think anyone is perfect - everyone situation is different and the human mind is complex af .. hell a year ago right after my split my thoughts on this were quite different and I was hardcore you stay no matter what - but maybe her leaving really was the best thing in hind sight - hurt like a son beech and still does at times but I wasn’t happy nor was she - so who knows -
Good post Sara got us thinking again3 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »My theory is ppl confuse love and infatuation- love is a commitment not a feeling - that new feeling you get when you meet someone is infatuation- a giddy feeling you get when you meet someone you’re seemingly attracted to right.. however once married and you live with said person day in and day out - and our own selfishness kicks in - that feeling can go away - now love would say I’m committed to loving this person even when I think they suck - but our minds want that infatuation feeling again cause it feels good right - like a drug almost - euphoric a bit .. which goes back to @your_future_ex_wife question why do we want to really love someone - and back to my point where once love is lost we eventually get lonely again and want to try to find it - vicious cycle .. but who really knows I could be wrong af 🤷♂️
Do you think it’s possible to keep the feelings or grow even better ones once the infatuation has worn off?
And what do you think of the situation in which people grow apart?
Or when one or both has a long-standing dissatisfaction? Should they stay till death even though they’ll never be happy?
I guess I’m wondering what the point is. For the sake of a stable home life for children in the case where both parties can be nice to each other, it makes sense.
I used to think of marriage in a religious way - that it is a symbol of a greater mystery, but without that belief, I just think people should be happy
I think that answer is different for all of us - which is right - should you keep your vow of better or worse even when you’re unhappy af .. personally I was of that mind set right - otherwise why say the words - why not change the vows to say for better and as much worse as I can stand lol -
Marriage is hard af - I don’t think anyone is perfect - everyone situation is different and the human mind is complex af .. hell a year ago right after my split my thoughts on this were quite different and I was hardcore you stay no matter what - but maybe her leaving really was the best thing in hind sight - hurt like a son beech and still does at times but I wasn’t happy nor was she - so who knows -
Good post Sara got us thinking again
Yeah, my thoughts on this are evolving too1 -
I love my ex husband with every fiber in my being.
I trust him with my life.
He gets on my last nerve and there is no way I could ever live with him again.
4 -
honeybee__12 wrote: »I love my ex husband with every fiber in my being.
I trust him with my life.
He gets on my last nerve and there is no way I could ever live with him again.
this resonates with me. sharing living space with someone is awful2 -
Started back eating right a yesterday and already feel amazing!! !!1
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »honeybee__12 wrote: »I love my ex husband with every fiber in my being.
I trust him with my life.
He gets on my last nerve and there is no way I could ever live with him again.
this resonates with me. sharing living space with someone is awful
I have an aunt who has lived alone since she divorced in her twenties (she is 63 now) and I used to always think she must get sad and lonely... 3 years in to living with someone else and I totally get where she is coming from - she is one of the happiest people I know!2 -
Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
How'd you ever end up married if you didnt love him?1 -
Reckoner68 wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
You're definitely not alone on this.
+3
I dont fully understand how this is.....but i think there are a lot like this.
Well obviously each circumstance is different. I wouldn't feel comfortable typing my own situation out on a public forum, but from what I have learnt from others, it isn't uncommon.
Pretty much the same. My situation is complex and not something to toss around in public forums, but it’s real
Same and I wouldn't say that I wasn't ever in love but things changed and it got complicated. I'm working on it though.2 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Keep_on_cardio wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »Why does everyone wanna be in love so bad?
What’s so great about putting another person before yourself? Considering the needs and desires of another before your own? Being patient, kind, humble? Do people think it’s easy keeping no record of wrongs? What’s so wonderful about always trusting, hoping, protecting, persevering? It seems to me if people want to love they can go ahead and start doing it without waiting for some magical partner.
But I think I’d rather speak in the tongues of men and angels.
I envision love being, two that have themselves figured out (not being perfect beings) just capable of owning their Crap. Idk accountability, honesty and happy being themselves. Then meeting someone, who they genuinely can be their self with and both just meshing their two worlds, as one. Is that a thing? ❤️
🤷♀️ maybe?
i think love requires a lot of work, forgiveness even in a good match. I think everyone has their limit.
i feel like life is easier, freer, more comfortable without that deep commitment to one person. And I wonder if people really really knew what it meant, would they be so keen.
I agree.. also feel like I’ve never been in love and I’m married.. so there’s that
How'd you ever end up married if you didnt love him?
I do believe infatuation can feel like love then things spiral then you're committed and don't want to hurt feelings and just go along with it, thinking it will get better. Not to answer for anyone, everyone has their own feelings and reasons. Just my opinion and I seem to see this happen a lot.2
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