Sharing my awful tragedy with you guys [PIC HEAVY]

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  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
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    Another story about a girl with a pretty face and her melons (sigh)
  • KristyAnn81
    KristyAnn81 Posts: 128 Member
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    That's the best thing I read all day... :drinker: :glasses:
  • b12arr0
    b12arr0 Posts: 55 Member
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    That was a "sweet" story! :)
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Lmao
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
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    True Love.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
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    His stem is not very impressive. You can do better than him.

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  • jaycbadass
    jaycbadass Posts: 325
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    I met him by chance. I was at the supermarket, just a normal day.
    He was surrounded by many others that looked like him, but he was special. I can honestly say he gained my heart with his perfect smile.

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    I asked his name. "Melon", he answered with the deepest, sexiest voice I had ever heard.
    "Melon", I repeated, savoring the sound with my palate... Oh, Melon... Lovely luscious lips, lively smile and luring complexion. I love you.
    I took him home. We talked and laughed over a few beers.

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    It was getting late, so I invited him to bed. I shall keep you guys from torrid details, but I knew we were meant to be when I woke up and saw him there, smiling affectionately at me.

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    We spent the best days of our lives together. We had fun at the pool, and he'd sing while I played. I was imprinted with the deepest sense of compatibility.

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    But one thing was starting to make me lose my nights. Melon was aging so much faster than me... I shared my concerns with him. He didn't have much energy to follow me around with my shenanigans anymore.

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    He surprised me one morning with a tired kiss. He looked deeply into my eyes and said: "Honey, you'll have to eat me". I understood immediately.
    Melon's days were close to an end. If I wanted to keep part of him eternally sheltered inside me, I'd have to eat him. So I made it clean and fast, and apologised with teary eyes.

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    So I ate him. Entirely, at once, with a spoon.

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    There was nothing left of Melon but the shell that once contained the sweet soul of my lover. An empty body. A void that matched that one in my heart.

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    Melon always told me he grew up in a farm, where he could roll around in the fresh soil all day with his siblings. "From soil, to soil", I thought. Shall your cycle be complete, honeydew.

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    Did you write this?
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    ^^ Yes, I wrote this :)
  • Cutting4life
    Cutting4life Posts: 505 Member
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    I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    His stem is not very impressive. You can do better than him.

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    That made me snort...
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
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    I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”

    I once fell in love with a turtle. We took things slow.
  • danofthedead1979
    danofthedead1979 Posts: 362 Member
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    what kind of melon was it?

    what-her melon?
    (get it? water melon..:noway: whatever! )

    i've spent a few minutes trying to think of a humorous pun for this thread, i'll let you guys know when i think of one....

    WAIT WAIT

    this story was really melon-coly?

    its a pity mr melon died because now you cant-eloupe with him!!! :drinker:

    i thank you
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
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    This was great, again so sorry for your loss :cry:

    Nice to end the work week with a smile from a good read.

    I feel your pain, I'd die having to log eating an entire melon in one sitting....my sugar would be thru the roof :sad:

    In memory, tonite I'm having 3.5 oz of mine :drinker:
  • Bobanji
    Bobanji Posts: 79 Member
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    Loved this! :flowerforyou:
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”

    I once fell in love with a turtle. We took things slow.

    bazinga.gif

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