Ladies, would you date a guy who dislikes gay people?

245

Replies

  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    edited December 2016
    Uh-oh.

    eta: biting my tongue in half
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    I'm picky about who I'm close with.

    As well you should be. :smile:
  • Flapjack_Mollases
    Flapjack_Mollases Posts: 218 Member
    Not liking someone for superficial reasons is a sure sign of immaturity. If he does this, there are probably more aspects of life that he is going to be really immature about also...so, as a straight dude who has no problem at all with gay dudes (I even have 2 or 3 that I hang out with and they are some of the best people in the world) I would say run from this guy. He's not grown up enough.
  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    I won't let my own family disrespect people based on sexual orientation, forget some random guy
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    PowerMan40 wrote: »
    He is secretly gay himself and not comfortable with the idea.... ]

    [Think about how uncomfortable family gatherings will be, ? and the drama is not worth it.

    Can you imagine the scene if he showed up to a family dinner wearing the same shirt as someone else?

    The Horror.
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    edited December 2016
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    Just because you don't agree with one's sexual preference (or political views or religion) doesn't mean you can't respect, love and have a personal relationship with them.

    Political views/religion are world views that we choose and/or can change. Some of my friends were simply born gay...they can't simply choose to be straight.

    Personally, I wouldn't have a "personal relationship" with someone who didn't "agree" with such a central aspect of who I am.

    Maybe if they were immediate family, then I'd muscle through... But just for friends, there are enough people in the world, that I'd rather have my "personal relationships" be with people who don't "disagree" with how I was born. Just a personal preference though... I'm picky about who I'm close with.

    Did I use the wrong words? Thanks for highlighting words you felt I said that offended you apparently. I didn't say anyone CHOSE to be gay, I would never say that nor do I believe that. I'm saying, people can be different and be friends. It's really as simple as that. If people choose to segregate themselves with people that only believe how they do then that's on them. I choose not to do that.

    My philosophy: You do you, I'll do me.

    You didn't offend me, babe. No worries. Just bc someone disagrees with your or engages you in conversation, doesn't mean they were offended by you.

    My purpose in highlighting that sexual orientation is not a choice, it to demonstrate how it is not on the same level to me as political views/religion. I could be friends w/ someone who didn't agree with my political or religious views. But the way I was born...that wold be harder for me. Just pointing out that difference.

    But yes... You do you, I'll do :smile:

    ...Or we can all do each other....errr

    Just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT believe that way based on the word "preference", but I can see how that could be considered "choice" vs someone being born that way. :)

    I love errbody!
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    Deal breaker
    I would never date somebody and narrow minded as that


    Secondly that is a red flag - of he does not want to be in the same room as gay people the next step could well be trying to stop you from seeing your best friend and brother because of his discomfort.
    Either he tries to become part of your world with gay people and gets to know these people that are so important to you or I'd say open the door and shove him out

    Remember you mention 3 people very important to you. That should be enough to say - Dud you ain't worth my time.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    Oh yeah?

    Well now, if Diana Ross is so fabulous, then how much can she bench press?


    I reckon we have different criteria when it comes to fabulous. ...
  • KrazyDaizy
    KrazyDaizy Posts: 815 Member
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    Just because you don't agree with one's sexual preference (or political views or religion) doesn't mean you can't respect, love and have a personal relationship with them.

    Political views/religion are world views that we choose and/or can change. Some of my friends were simply born gay...they can't simply choose to be straight.

    Personally, I wouldn't have a "personal relationship" with someone who didn't "agree" with such a central aspect of who I am.

    Maybe if they were immediate family, then I'd muscle through... But just for friends, there are enough people in the world, that I'd rather have my "personal relationships" be with people who don't "disagree" with how I was born. Just a personal preference though... I'm picky about who I'm close with.

    Did I use the wrong words? Thanks for highlighting words you felt I said that offended you apparently. I didn't say anyone CHOSE to be gay, I would never say that nor do I believe that. I'm saying, people can be different and be friends. It's really as simple as that. If people choose to segregate themselves with people that only believe how they do then that's on them. I choose not to do that.

    My philosophy: You do you, I'll do me.

    You didn't offend me, babe. No worries. Just bc someone disagrees with your or engages you in conversation, doesn't mean they were offended by you.

    My purpose in highlighting that sexual orientation is not a choice, it to demonstrate how it is not on the same level to me as political views/religion. I could be friends w/ someone who didn't agree with my political or religious views. But the way I was born...that wold be harder for me. Just pointing out that difference.

    But yes... You do you, I'll do :smile:

    ...Or we can all do each other....errr

    Just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT believe that way based on the word "preference", but I can see how that could be considered "choice" vs someone being born that way. :)

    I love errbody!
    Oh so there's not going to be a hair pulling mud rolling fight?

    Lies, I'm always down for that.
  • jenmar222
    jenmar222 Posts: 9,271 Member
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    jenmar22 wrote: »
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    Just because you don't agree with one's sexual preference (or political views or religion) doesn't mean you can't respect, love and have a personal relationship with them.

    Political views/religion are world views that we choose and/or can change. Some of my friends were simply born gay...they can't simply choose to be straight.

    Personally, I wouldn't have a "personal relationship" with someone who didn't "agree" with such a central aspect of who I am.

    Maybe if they were immediate family, then I'd muscle through... But just for friends, there are enough people in the world, that I'd rather have my "personal relationships" be with people who don't "disagree" with how I was born. Just a personal preference though... I'm picky about who I'm close with.

    Did I use the wrong words? Thanks for highlighting words you felt I said that offended you apparently. I didn't say anyone CHOSE to be gay, I would never say that nor do I believe that. I'm saying, people can be different and be friends. It's really as simple as that. If people choose to segregate themselves with people that only believe how they do then that's on them. I choose not to do that.

    My philosophy: You do you, I'll do me.

    You didn't offend me, babe. No worries. Just bc someone disagrees with your or engages you in conversation, doesn't mean they were offended by you.

    My purpose in highlighting that sexual orientation is not a choice, it to demonstrate how it is not on the same level to me as political views/religion. I could be friends w/ someone who didn't agree with my political or religious views. But the way I was born...that wold be harder for me. Just pointing out that difference.

    But yes... You do you, I'll do :smile:

    ...Or we can all do each other....errr

    Just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT believe that way based on the word "preference", but I can see how that could be considered "choice" vs someone being born that way. :)

    I love errbody!
    Oh so there's not going to be a hair pulling mud rolling fight?

    Lies, I'm always down for that.

    Me too :wink:
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    You have impeccable taste
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
    Yes, deal breaker for me. I have no time for bigotry in my life.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    Oh yeah?

    Well now, if Diana Ross is so fabulous, then how much can she bench press?


    I reckon we have different criteria when it comes to fabulous. ...

    who cares?
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    and to answer the question total deal breaker. Dump him
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    edited December 2016
    No. if he issues with gay people what are his views of people of other race, religion, etc... things that might be different from him and his views???? This is the beginning to see his true soul.
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    I guess for some of us, there are limitations when it comes to choosing to associate with people who don't agree with all our beliefs. For many, homophobia and racism are always deal-breakers. Sometimes people believe that "doing you" can contribute to hatred, discrimination, dehumanization, and worse, and so aren't okay with people "doing" racism and homophobia anywhere, for any reason. Some people believe in fact that it's their duty to work toward achieving social justice for marginalized groups through active, critical, conscientious decision-making.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    Oh yeah?

    Well now, if Diana Ross is so fabulous, then how much can she bench press?


    I reckon we have different criteria when it comes to fabulous. ...

    who cares?

    Who cares? !? !

    Isn't this how we judge a person's potential worth to society?

    ... Eh?

  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    edited December 2016
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    synchkat wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    Oh yeah?

    Well now, if Diana Ross is so fabulous, then how much can she bench press?


    I reckon we have different criteria when it comes to fabulous. ...

    who cares?

    Who cares? !? !

    Isn't this how we judge a person's potential worth to society?

    ... Eh?

    you do you buddy
    (but you're wrong)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    edited December 2016
    Total deal breaker, and I don't have any gay family.

    And it's one thing to be "uncomfortable" around gay people (my husband was here once, he just didn't know many out gay people when he was younger), but it's another to "disprove of the gay lifestyle" and not want to be in the same room.
  • wanzik
    wanzik Posts: 326 Member
    Love the sinner, hate the sin. I'm no better than anyone else, my sins are not any better or worse than anyone else's - I have no right to judge. Those are my beliefs. I don't know what the OP's boyfriend's beliefs are but if he claims to be Christian and that's his reason for hating anyone based on anything, he needs to be reminded what a Christian is.

    Either way, OP, he is obviously not compatible with you and you need to move on.
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
    If he disliked specific gay people because they're jerks, sure...it has nothing to do with them being gay. If he disliked them solely because they're gay, NOPE!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    synchkat wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    I could never be gay.

    .... I simply don't find Diana Ross to be all that fabulous.

    Well she is

    And so is Cher, Madonna, Bette Midler.... the stereotypes are beyond true

    Oh yeah?

    Well now, if Diana Ross is so fabulous, then how much can she bench press?


    I reckon we have different criteria when it comes to fabulous. ...

    who cares?

    Who cares? !? !

    Isn't this how we judge a person's potential worth to society?

    ... Eh?

    you do you buddy
    (but you're wrong)

    C'mon now. ...

    I said "potential".
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    tl:dr Deal breaker, no telling what else he takes issue with. Save your time.
  • _BrewingAZ_
    _BrewingAZ_ Posts: 252 Member

    Doesn't want to be in the same room. Definitely in the closet. In fact, many homophobic men fall into the sexually insecure category and have personal gay proclivities.

    These were my thoughts also! I've dated other men who had no problem with my brother and his fiancé, and in fact enjoyed it when we would all hang out. Something doesn't seem right.

    ^^^^ That bold quoted text right there says it all. You should end that and go with your gut feeling. To dislike someone for being gay is pretty sad. It's like disliking someone because they like cheeseburgers.
  • _MotherSuperior_
    _MotherSuperior_ Posts: 158 Member
    People can believe what they want, but I can't imagine being in a relationship of any kind with someone who spends so much time worrying about things that don't involve them at all.
  • vikinglander
    vikinglander Posts: 1,547 Member
    One word: NEXT!

    You're only 25...plenty of time to find someone else.

    Good luck!
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    I was hit on by a drunk guy. I was made as heck. But now I just don't care I'm comfortable in knowing I like women. I've learned to accept people for who they are.. I say tell your boy friend up front. Then it's up to him accept or run
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    KrazyDaizy wrote: »
    I wouldn't date ANYONE who didn't want to be in the same room with someone based on race, sex, sexual preference, religion etc. That's not ok. I think that makes them a POS.

    Just because you don't agree with one's sexual preference (or political views or religion) doesn't mean you can't respect, love and have a personal relationship with them. That's ridiculous and makes the person who can't have a relationship with someone different than them a total *kitten*.

    What if the persons religion is Lucifarian Satanisim and they frequently participate in human sacrifice rituals and baby breeding to please their gods?
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