Ladies, would you date a guy who dislikes gay people?
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It's the deal breaker. Because your brother is gay and he won't accept him and IMO partners come and go. Family is forever (at least for me).bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »So my question is this. My closest friend is a gay male. My brother is also gay and has a wonderful fiancé who I absolutely adore. We hang out often and usually do things together as a group. The guy ive been seeing says he doesn't approve of a gay lifestyle and doesn't even want to be in the same room with them because of this. Im thinking this is a deal breaker, but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience? Im guessing there isn't a way to change his mind.
Is it really common still in modern society for Strait males to feel uncomfortable around gays? I didn't even think people still thought like that! People are people to me, regardless of orientation.
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NorthCascades wrote: »Flapjack_Mollases wrote: »Just because someone does something that you consider a sin, doesn't mean you can't love them. And it's not passive aggressive at all. What you are simply saying (in a round a bout way) is that it's not your place to judge, and you love them for the person they are.
If it's not our place to judge, then why do we have to call them sinners?
How about this as an alternative? "I don't have a problem with gay people."
I agree with you 100%. We all sin, so calling someone on their sin is both pointless and redundant. Just for the record, I don't use that phrase. I was just trying to help explain why it is used. Even as a Christian, I find the phrase to be borderline cringe-worthy. But again, I was just trying to help explain the reasoning behind it. I couldn't agree more. And if someone asked me if I had a problem with gay people, I wouldn't go into this long diatribe about, "well, you know the Bible....." I would just say. No, every man/woman has the right to live their life as they see fit. And I would leave it at that.2 -
that sounds full on old testament lol, guy would have you washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, baking and baby making. Modern life requires tolerance because we crowed as feck.
so you have two solutions, both in agree with.
Kill like 4.6 billion peeps so we can spread out and require less tolerance.
Ditch the insecure intolerant poopy head0 -
Oh I thought this disappeared0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Doesn't want to be in the same room. Definitely in the closet. In fact, many homophobic men fall into the sexually insecure category and have personal gay proclivities.
I used to be one of those with aversions to gay people, turns out I am bisexual and it just took me 30 years to realize it.
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bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »So my question is this. My closest friend is a gay male. My brother is also gay and has a wonderful fiancé who I absolutely adore. We hang out often and usually do things together as a group. The guy ive been seeing says he doesn't approve of a gay lifestyle and doesn't even want to be in the same room with them because of this. Im thinking this is a deal breaker, but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience? Im guessing there isn't a way to change his mind.
Is it really common still in modern society for Strait males to feel uncomfortable around gays? I didn't even think people still thought like that! People are people to me, regardless of orientation.
From my vantage point, this is a deal-breaker@your closest friend + your brother & his fiance VS man you're seeing.
Personally my only experience was through my betrothal to a man who was known to have been a bisexual with his longtime steady - the mother of his 2 children@modern society. I'd opted out (left for America) not because of his sexuality but for the sake of his established family unit; His eldest was in his early teens, I was 19.
When a man protests too much .... You can't change his mind.
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Flapjack_Mollases wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »Flapjack_Mollases wrote: »Just because someone does something that you consider a sin, doesn't mean you can't love them. And it's not passive aggressive at all. What you are simply saying (in a round a bout way) is that it's not your place to judge, and you love them for the person they are.
If it's not our place to judge, then why do we have to call them sinners?
How about this as an alternative? "I don't have a problem with gay people."
I agree with you 100%. We all sin, so calling someone on their sin is both pointless and redundant. Just for the record, I don't use that phrase. I was just trying to help explain why it is used. Even as a Christian, I find the phrase to be borderline cringe-worthy. But again, I was just trying to help explain the reasoning behind it. I couldn't agree more. And if someone asked me if I had a problem with gay people, I wouldn't go into this long diatribe about, "well, you know the Bible....." I would just say. No, every man/woman has the right to live their life as they see fit. And I would leave it at that.
More people should be like you. (That's not sarcasm.)
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glad to hear such positive remarks... gay people are awesome, I know many. My gay cousin always says, "gays are born with taste. They toss a throw pillow and it lands the right way"...haha1
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Deal breaker.0
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Think about him as a father. (Seriously though, sounds like you already know this is a deal breaker for you. So just end it.)
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Deal breaker0
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bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »So my question is this. My closest friend is a gay male. My brother is also gay and has a wonderful fiancé who I absolutely adore. We hang out often and usually do things together as a group. The guy ive been seeing says he doesn't approve of a gay lifestyle and doesn't even want to be in the same room with them because of this. Im thinking this is a deal breaker, but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience? Im guessing there isn't a way to change his mind.
Is it really common still in modern society for Strait males to feel uncomfortable around gays? I didn't even think people still thought like that! People are people to me, regardless of orientation.
No, I don't think you will change his mind if he said it to you knowing your closest friend and brother are gay. He is telling you to choose between them or him as I see it. Do you want to be with someone like that?
I would not be compatible with someone with this mindset personally.0 -
Nope. While it's okay to date people who have different points of view than mine, this is different. Plus, I couldn't have a boyfriend who would be disrespectful of important people in my life. Deal breaker.0
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Yep deal breaker.0
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This only matters if you believe in the bible or god. If not, then the boyfriend is a homophobe and it should be a deal breaker based on the OP's position.FarmerCarla wrote: »Don't judge people just because their sins are different from yours. On the other hand, don't condone sin and call it good. There's a lot of Biblical truth in the saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Only God can makes hearts obedient to His Word, and He only changes our hearts when we seek His will and ask for His help. I pray you and your boyfriend, both, will do that.
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This only matters if you believe in the bible or god. If not, then the boyfriend is a homophobe and it should be a deal breaker based on the OP's position.FarmerCarla wrote: »Don't judge people just because their sins are different from yours. On the other hand, don't condone sin and call it good. There's a lot of Biblical truth in the saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Only God can makes hearts obedient to His Word, and He only changes our hearts when we seek His will and ask for His help. I pray you and your boyfriend, both, will do that.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You forgot to capitalize: God
..... this probably won't go unpunished4 -
Motorsheen wrote: »
This only matters if you believe in the bible or god. If not, then the boyfriend is a homophobe and it should be a deal breaker based on the OP's position.FarmerCarla wrote: »Don't judge people just because their sins are different from yours. On the other hand, don't condone sin and call it good. There's a lot of Biblical truth in the saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Only God can makes hearts obedient to His Word, and He only changes our hearts when we seek His will and ask for His help. I pray you and your boyfriend, both, will do that.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You forgot to capitalize: God
..... this probably won't go unpunished
Ugh I promised to take my mom to church on Sunday day....I suspect I'll be punished.......
In the form of lightning bolts3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »
This only matters if you believe in the bible or god. If not, then the boyfriend is a homophobe and it should be a deal breaker based on the OP's position.FarmerCarla wrote: »Don't judge people just because their sins are different from yours. On the other hand, don't condone sin and call it good. There's a lot of Biblical truth in the saying, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Only God can makes hearts obedient to His Word, and He only changes our hearts when we seek His will and ask for His help. I pray you and your boyfriend, both, will do that.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You forgot to capitalize: God
..... this probably won't go unpunished
Ugh I promised to take my mom to church on Sunday day....I suspect I'll be punished.......
In the form of lightning bolts
Haha. Yeah, my mom would probably live at the church if they let her.
As a kid, I was dragged there waaay too often.
...... The upside is that I now have a ton of church going credits built up.
I'm probably a better person for it.
Well, maybe not.2
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