A Hurtful Comment.
RunWildYoungBeauty
Posts: 43 Member
Hello all, I figure I'd reach out to the threads because there's bound to be someone like me out there that this has happened to...
So yesterday, I was feeling like crap, my head hurts (getting over a very aggressive cold) and earlier in the day, I was contemplating skipping the gym and just catching up on some rest. I told myself no, and I was content with the feeling of me overcoming my procrastination. Anyhow, I got to the gym, needed to change out of my work clothes, so I changed into my gym clothes and returned to my car to leave my book bag (being I don't have a lock for the lockers). On my way back, I noticed these two men walking out of the mall, laughing and joking. Now, I know that wasn't about me, but the next thing I heard was:
"...needs to lose that gut. Baby got front!"
I turned briefly around to see if there was anyone behind me or so, on the side of me--hell even in front of me. There wasn't. It was me, in my gym clothes, feeling like complete *kitten* (in spandex no less), and taking those comments with me into the gym.
Needless to stay, I stayed on that treadmill for 65 minutes, the longest duration I've stayed on up to date. Incline a steady 3.0, adjusting the treadmill for vigorous walking and even spurts of jogging.
I am mortified to say it out loud, I wanted to cry in the gym, on the treadmill.
But then I realized that one day, that comment won't apply to me...
so I kept going.
**Sorry for being a complete sap, it's just that comments like those stay with me and they haunt me. My self-esteem is below 0, and it's hurtful to think that someone could say that about a complete stranger, especially one who's trying to better themselves**
Does anyone care to vent along with me...?
So yesterday, I was feeling like crap, my head hurts (getting over a very aggressive cold) and earlier in the day, I was contemplating skipping the gym and just catching up on some rest. I told myself no, and I was content with the feeling of me overcoming my procrastination. Anyhow, I got to the gym, needed to change out of my work clothes, so I changed into my gym clothes and returned to my car to leave my book bag (being I don't have a lock for the lockers). On my way back, I noticed these two men walking out of the mall, laughing and joking. Now, I know that wasn't about me, but the next thing I heard was:
"...needs to lose that gut. Baby got front!"
I turned briefly around to see if there was anyone behind me or so, on the side of me--hell even in front of me. There wasn't. It was me, in my gym clothes, feeling like complete *kitten* (in spandex no less), and taking those comments with me into the gym.
Needless to stay, I stayed on that treadmill for 65 minutes, the longest duration I've stayed on up to date. Incline a steady 3.0, adjusting the treadmill for vigorous walking and even spurts of jogging.
I am mortified to say it out loud, I wanted to cry in the gym, on the treadmill.
But then I realized that one day, that comment won't apply to me...
so I kept going.
**Sorry for being a complete sap, it's just that comments like those stay with me and they haunt me. My self-esteem is below 0, and it's hurtful to think that someone could say that about a complete stranger, especially one who's trying to better themselves**
Does anyone care to vent along with me...?
40
Replies
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Gee, my curse word was replaced with *kitten*, I hope I don't get banned from MFP, hm. I apologize--was getting into my horrible experience.
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A) [post edited by mods - please ensure all posts follow community guidelines] those guys.
they don't represent their majority of the people in the gym.
C) you're an animal. Stay driven, stay focused on their goal (a healthier you) not a number. Not a look. But a healthier you. When youre happy with who you are, [forget] everyone else's opinion.
By the way, you slayed that [edited] treadmill workout. Keep on keeping on.23 -
Awesome job going to the gym and working out....Comments like that fuel my fire.....I am sorry those idiots made comments to you like that ... I would of said something like at least I am bettering myself unlike you idiots who have nothing better to do than make fun of people .....Wishing you much success ....Keep your head up high and kill it in the gym
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Thank you both so much for taking the time and assuring me that it will be okay and to just look forward. It means so much to me!
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How do you even know that comment was made towards you. They could've been talking about themselves.3
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Everybody hates comments like those. People make them to skinny people too. We're always sensitive when it happens to us. Just ask yourself " In a hundred years will anyone care"? If the answer is "nope", try to redimension it in your mind. It's a speed bump on your road to success.5
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I am way too happcahubbard6421 wrote: »A) [post edited by mods - please ensure all posts follow community guidelines]those guys. they don't represent their majority of the people in the gym.
C) you're an animal. Stay driven, stay focused on their goal (a healthier you) not a number. Not a look. But a healthier you. When youre happy with who you are, *kitten* everyone else's opinion.
By the way, you slayed that *kitten* treadmill workout. Keep on keeping on.
I love the use of *kitten*, it lightens me up. Thank you kindly, sir. 2 -
ms_smartypants wrote: »Awesome job going to the gym and working out....Comments like that fuel my fire.....I am sorry those idiots made comments to you like that ... I would of said something like at least I am bettering myself unlike you idiots who have nothing better to do than make fun of people .....Wishing you much success ....Keep your head up high and kill it in the gym
Thank you so much! I will keep my head up high, it'll be worth it soon enough. Thanks so much, ma'am. 1 -
Joanna2012B wrote: »How do you even know that comment was made towards you. They could've been talking about themselves.
Haha, I had the same thought as well.2 -
Screw them! In all honesty I'm sorry they said such hurtful things, clearly they are struggling with their own self doubts to knock someone else down.
But enough about them cause they aren't worth it- this journey is about you and your goals. Good for you getting to the gym- some days it's hard to workout, especially when you don't feel all that great.
As far as venting with you: I once had a guy point to my stomach and question my pregnancy. My child was 6 months old at the time and I was feeling good about how I looked in my outfit that day. When I said I'm not expecting he just gave a weird look to my stomach and said, "oh I thought...cause (stammering and pointing to my stomach)" then walked away. Didn't feel good. But whatever, some days I still look pregnant if I eat a big enough burrito
Edit: had a word missing8 -
snowflake954 wrote: »Everybody hates comments like those. People make them to skinny people too. We're always sensitive when it happens to us. Just ask yourself " In a hundred years will anyone care"? If the answer is "nope", try to redimension it in your mind. It's a speed bump on your road to success.
Thank you, you're right--it won't even matter in a few months I'm hoping.2 -
Screw them! In all honesty I'm sorry they said such hurtful things, clearly they are struggling with their own self doubts to knock someone else down.
But enough about them cause they aren't worth it- this journey is about you and your goals. Good for you getting to the gym- some days it's hard to workout, especially when you don't feel all that great.
As far as venting with you: I once had a guy point to my stomach and question my pregnancy. My child was 6 months old at the time and I was feeling good about how I looked in my outfit that day. When I said I'm not expecting he just gave a weird look to my stomach and said, "oh I thought...cause (stammering and pointing to my stomach)" then walked away. Didn't feel good. But whatever, some days I still look pregnant if I eat a big enough burrito
Edit: had a word missing
Awww! I've had that happen to me before too, and I've never been pregnant. Thank you very kindly for sharing that with me. Does it ever still bother you? 1 -
I've had something similar happen to me in the past and I ended up quitting the gym; don't be like me. I regret not sticking to it. Honestly what they say doesn't matter, you and your health are priority one. Screw them.5
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ellebronwyn89 wrote: »I've had something similar happen to me in the past and I ended up quitting the gym; don't be like me. I regret not sticking to it. Honestly what they say doesn't matter, you and your health are priority one. Screw them.
Thank you ellebronwyn89, I apologize that it's happened to you. Did you ever go back?0 -
No, not really. I've put some weight back on and I do gain in my stomach area. So recently I did have a little girl ask me how big the baby in my belly is- that didn't bother me in the least, she was maybe 4 and excited about my baby haha ah kids and their honesty.
I think what bothers me about that guy was his reaction when I told him I'm not expecting and that other people witnessed it. I was working as a hostess at the time. When my self confidence was lower it did bother me a lot more but now, even with some extra weight, I'm happy with myself and know I'm working to be the healthiest me, so just don't care as much if other people think I'm pregnant or wonder if I am.
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That's so horrible to read and I really do empathise. Before I leave my main comment I'd offer out the small crumb of comfort that perhaps (just perhaps), it wasnt about you, it could have been part of the joke that they were sharing. It sounds doubtful from what you said but sometimes if we are feeling low it can feel like everyone is against us? However if it was about you, lets go sort them out
OK to on to what I wanted to say (as a stranger lol), I read a lot of people, even celebrities saying they do things to prove haters wrong and things like that. Please dont get caught up in that kinda thing (personal view I guess). The fact they pushed you to work harder, focus on that and be PROUD of just how awesome a workout YOU had, not them. Dont let them or anyone else be a driver in your life and just keep working hard towards whatever goals you have and use the love of those around you to help.
OK, I'll stop typing now and jsut send a friend request over haha.3 -
Wow. How cruel people can be! I'm glad others here have comforted you already, but I too just want to send some support. These kinds of people are not worth even a half centimeter of your brain space. Keep being awesome by working towards your goals! *virtual hugs*1
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No, not really. I've put some weight back on and I do gain in my stomach area. So recently I did have a little girl ask me how big the baby in my belly is- that didn't bother me in the least, she was maybe 4 and excited about my baby haha ah kids and their honesty.
I think what bothers me about that guy was his reaction when I told him I'm not expecting and that other people witnessed it. I was working as a hostess at the time. When my self confidence was lower it did bother me a lot more but now, even with some extra weight, I'm happy with myself and know I'm working to be the healthiest me, so just don't care as much if other people think I'm pregnant or wonder if I am.
That's amazing that you're happy with yourself, Thanks so much 1 -
Don't let the haters get you down! You are there doing something for yourself--that's all that matters. What they said says everything about them and nothing about you. Like I tell my kids, when a cow says "Moo," it has nothing to do with you. The fact that you turned it into a killer workout, on the other hand, says a whole lot about you ... and your heart. You got this!2
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If their comment was directed at you, just put it in perspective. You spend your time in a gym, making yourself fitter and healthier and generally trying to improve yourself. They spend their time in the mall, making insulting comments about complete strangers. I think it's obvious which is the more empty and tragic existence.9
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marvelboy11 wrote: »That's so horrible to read and I really do empathise. Before I leave my main comment I'd offer out the small crumb of comfort that perhaps (just perhaps), it wasnt about you, it could have been part of the joke that they were sharing. It sounds doubtful from what you said but sometimes if we are feeling low it can feel like everyone is against us? However if it was about you, lets go sort them out
OK to on to what I wanted to say (as a stranger lol), I read a lot of people, even celebrities saying they do things to prove haters wrong and things like that. Please dont get caught up in that kinda thing (personal view I guess). The fact they pushed you to work harder, focus on that and be PROUD of just how awesome a workout YOU had, not them. Dont let them or anyone else be a driver in your life and just keep working hard towards whatever goals you have and use the love of those around you to help.
OK, I'll stop typing now and jsut send a friend request over haha.
Haha! This made me laugh. Thanks marvelboy11, this was nice to see. and you're right--it didn't motivate me because of what they said, more or less me being able to look back on it and be like, "what gut?"
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Don't let the haters get you down! You are there doing something for yourself--that's all that matters. What they said says everything about them and nothing about you. Like I tell my kids, when a cow says "Moo," it has nothing to do with you. The fact that you turned it into a killer workout, on the other hand, says a whole lot about you ... and your heart. You got this!
Why thank you, sir! You're very right. I made it into something for me, and that's all that matters. Much appreciated! 0 -
Trying to be big picture about it, but just think, those 2 guys made an *kitten* of themselves, all in agreement? Think about how many strangers have then countered that above. Focus on that and the hurtful comment although cruel, had maybe a silver lining of some new friends and support for you? x1
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TheSunAndTheRainfall wrote: »If their comment was directed at you, just put it in perspective. You spend your time in a gym, making yourself fitter and healthier and generally trying to improve yourself. They spend their time in the mall, making insulting comments about complete strangers. I think it's obvious which is the more empty and tragic existence.
This puts things into perspective, and you're absolutely right. Two grown men (who weren't even all that fix themselves) insulting me from afar.2 -
You know it 0
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It is something that we all struggle with. Someone always has something negative to say. It could be about your weight or your clothes or your job or your hair or your car. Jerks will always find a way to make other people feel bad. People like that have deeper issues. They may have a great body so they choose to point out the flaws in someone else's, but you know what? Their life isn't perfect. I have chosen to realize this. We ALL have issues of some sort to overcome. You are a better person by not pointing out someone else's not everyone is as strong as you. Keep doing your thing and working hard for YOU not because some punks have big mouths.
Thank you thank you thank you! I do forget that people have problems as well, and things that they dislike about themselves. I feel like I am a target for hurt, to be honest. Like people can sense that I am weak, and take advantage of it.0 -
It sucks that this happened to you but remember, there are people out there like these guys that are simply *kitten*. You'll probably never see them again, so why let them ruin your day(s)? Overweight people have been targets of jokes and ridicule forever. Try not to let the comment impede your progress. Stay positive!! Negative thoughts have no place and should have no power over you. Dwelling on the harsh comment allows these two boys to have that power. They aren't worth it.
YOU, on the other hand, are beautiful and are doing amazing things. Kudos for going to the gym. Do you know how many overweight people won't go because they are afraid of being embarrassed? At my former gym, I once had a couple of the "gym rat bodybuilders" make a comment to me because I had to go into their area to use one of the machines. It hurt, but in my mind I flipped them the middle finger and moved on. Do the same if it ever happens to you again, which I sincerely hope does not.1 -
I'm not glad that it happened, but I'm glad that it happened just before your gym session and that you were able to use it to get a good sweat on.
I had a wedding to attend some years ago, and it took me a while to find a dress that hid the pounds I'd recently put on (all in the abdominal area), but I eventually found something that I felt great in. So off I went to this wedding, feeling good, only to have an old friend congratulate me on my pregnancy. After a comment like that it's difficult to get on the dance floor and put your hands in the air like you just don't care.
I'd happily trade you experiences.1 -
Wow. How cruel people can be! I'm glad others here have comforted you already, but I too just want to send some support. These kinds of people are not worth even a half centimeter of your brain space. Keep being awesome by working towards your goals! *virtual hugs*
Aww thanks! *virtual hugs*
thanks for still coming and comforting me! 1 -
I am sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "Bros" at the gym who don't have common sense or courtesy. Honestly, if that was me, I probably would have walked out of the gym and never went back. So good on you for sticking it out and working your *kitten* off. I have a lot of family members who are very negative about my appearance, so I can understand how much it hurts when you are trying to make an effort and people make fun of you. The Important thing to remember is to keep your chin up and be proud that you are taking the step of changing your life.2
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