Non friendly females in the gym.
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Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
15 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
You. I like you.
Edited to add: Personally I would vote for interpretive dance.6 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
I reckon that a lap dance or two would suffice.4 -
Motorsheen wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
I reckon that an interpretive lap dance or two would suffice.
Fixed it for you.3 -
Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.11 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
HA - thanks for this, I laughed. HAHA. I don't see how I came off as a man hater. My dislike towards pushy, self-entitled people is gender neutral6 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
I reckon that an interpretive lap dance or two would suffice.
Fixed it for you.
That could get messy.
..... but I'm willing to take the risk.1 -
Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."6 -
_MotherSuperior_ wrote: »It's a well known fact that women are nice guy ATM's. You put nice guy in, and the ATM is required to allow you to withdraw whatever it is you requested, and then credit your account accordingly.
Sorry bro. Maybe speak to the gym management about getting their ATM's serviced?
Literally for a full minute I was trying to read this but I was confused as hell because I kept interpreting "ATM" as "at the moment" rather than as the bank machine.
I think I need some coffee this morning.
Don't feel bad. I knew what I meant by the acronym and even I got confused as I was typing it because I've always seen it as something else. *nods*1 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."
How about "teh wimminz"?6 -
_MotherSuperior_ wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."
How about "teh wimminz"?
I'll allow it.
3 -
ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."
This is amusing to me. Husband is a big feminist. He dislikes calling me girl even though I tell him I prefer girl to lady (I'm no lady) or female. I also know many women who dislike woman because they feel it is rooted to and a diminutive form of man, hence they are womyn (which I find ridiculous personally).
There are some battles that can never be won.
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ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »_MotherSuperior_ wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."
How about "teh wimminz"?
I'll allow it.
2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
I reckon that a lap dance or two would suffice.
For you, Motorsheen, I'll think about it.
1 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »Just curious. All these complaints about being hit on. Women complain it happens in bars, in gyms, at school, at work, on the bus, on the train platform, at the beach, in jail, in saunas, in MFP private messages, and at drunken frat parties where everyone's playing strip poker.
Where is it acceptable, exactly, for men to approach women with interest and begin a polite conversation?
I mean, with all these gals signing up at MFP to complain about their boyfriends mistreating them in a variety of ways, they must have got the ball rolling somewhere initially...
There is no right answer because every woman is different. It's wherever she's comfortable with it.
I think what you're missing is that the reason a lot of women don't like the OP's attitude isn't because it's socially unacceptable to hit on a girl at the gym, it's because once they get rejected they post on the MFP forums, insinuating that there's something wrong with the girl for rejecting him and for not appreciating the fact that he was "just trying to be nice," when in reality, if she doesn't want his attention, he just needs to get over it because she's not, nor was she ever, there for him.
He needs to get over it? Or what? Meaning he should be discouraged from discussing his personal observations, however subjective they may or may not be, on MFP's forums?
He needs to get over the assumption that any person or women in particular "owe" him "friendliness" which I am taking to mean in this situation: conversation, attention, smiles, eye contact, etc. Also, most women enjoy not being totally lumped together as a single entity who are all unfriendly. Perhaps this has contributed to his being iced out by the women near him.
This female also bristles at being called a "female."
This is amusing to me. Husband is a big feminist. He dislikes calling me girl even though I tell him I prefer girl to lady (I'm no lady) or female. I also know many women who dislike woman because they feel it is rooted to and a diminutive form of man, hence they are womyn (which I find ridiculous personally).
There are some battles that can never be won.
Agreed.
I'm not arrogant enough to state that female is an offensive term, since it seems not to bother plenty of women. It does make me bow up a bit though. If you're wanting me to break my personal habits and be friendly toward you (where "you" is a random guy at the gym), starting out by calling me "a female" is not the way to go.
But as the previous poster pointed out, it's not like women are a monolith. We don't have a hive mind. Unless of course, I just missed the meeting where we all signed up for the hive mind and now I'm just out of the loop.3 -
born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »born_of_fire74 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I'm confused as to why this is an issue.. ? You want someone to cater/fulfill your experience and be friendly/chatty/acknowledge, but maybe the other people want the experience of individual/focus/no interruptions. I have to socialize and make small talk all day at work - when I'm at the gym.. it's me time. And if that pisses people off, because I don't feel it necessary to coincide with their desires... I mean? Seriously? Why are you more important than I am.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but seriously... who cares if people want a different experience than you, that's called free will. And it does not make me a rude/negative/mean person for wanting that.
Why do you hate men?
Do you want an itemized list? A stream of consciousness rant? A chronological account of the slights women are subjected to? A documentary video? Links to various studies showing how differently women are treated when reading from the same script as men? A photo spread? An interpretive dance? How should we do this?
I reckon that a lap dance or two would suffice.
For you, Motorsheen, I'll think about it.
Think about it ?
Well... that's a lot further than I get with most other girls; I'll take it!
Respect!2 -
Most are probably gun shy as others have pointed out due to pushy males. Others are just cuunts. But some may be just shy, self conscious, or just plain unobservant. I am. I have been called rude, a total B, ant my sister in law called me a cuunt once because apparently someone had been talking to me and I NEVER NOTICED! I swear I do not have the "female" gene that allows us to multitask. I get too focused and tune out the world. You have to stand in front of me and snap your fingers in my face.
I am the EXACT same way...add on resting B!+c# face and I am 100% unapproachable in the gym. The funny thing is that if you speak; I smile, and I know I look a lot nicer.
Example: I go to the gym at 5 a.m. twice a week to personal train. The regular guys who come in to lift would all kind of ignore me or look slightly scared of me. One day one of them dared to nod, and I flashed a smile. His whole facial expression changed like, "OMG -- she smiles!" Now he nods at least once a session.
So they may not be deliberately unfriendly, just awkward with a naturally mean face.5 -
I think it's a cultural thing too. I'm from the southern U.S., so you would at least smile and nod...or make general conversational noises while you tune the other person out.
Noises like:
Unh-huh
Oh really?
That's crazy
Wow
I see
You did!
Bless your heart
Well I declare (Not really, but my grandma used that as conversational filler all the time
) 7 -
So a lot of the ignoring behavior here would just be rude, except for the younger millennials.2
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jbirdgreen wrote: »So a lot of the ignoring behavior here would just be rude, except for the younger millennials.
Bless Your Heart2
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