Eating When Hungry vs. Sticking to a Calorie Plan

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Replies

  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    "One thing I WILL not do is attempt to starve myself small. I am going to be using the calorie counter religiously and make sure I eat three meals a day regardless. "

    I was happy to see this in your other thread. I'd like to believe that you'll be loosely-goosey about your 1500 calorie goal and lose the weight in a safe manner.
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  • sarko15
    sarko15 Posts: 330 Member
    Maybe you need to date yourself for a while, just a thought.

    I'm sorry you see things so negatively, and that you can't see what's so problematic in your statements, but ultimately it's your life and you can make your own choices. These commenters are only trying to help you and be a support system because that's what these forums are for--and there are plenty of people here who know what they're talking about when it comes to weight loss and nutrition, and even mental health from a weight loss standpoint, so they're not just telling you bull. You probably won't get the answers you want here. Good luck, and I hope it works out for you.
  • Evamutt
    Evamutt Posts: 2,732 Member
    personally I do better when i eat at regular intervals, then i'm never hungry & wont over









  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    sarko15 wrote: »
    Maybe you need to date yourself for a while, just a thought.
    Methinks he may have been doing that a tad too long already. ;)
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    The notion of eating when hungry sounds like it makes sense to me. However, I love to cook and eat, so I figured it would be better if I stuck to a calorie plan (1500-1800 day, for a start) and ate regularly even when not really that hungry. I figure the idea is to get yourself used to what you're going to do long-term.

    Does this sound right?

    Eat the calories MFP tells you to lose no more than 2 lbs a week and you will lose weight in a healthy way.
    Hunger cues are not reliable for many of us. The numbers of your calorie goal are fairly reliable way to get you enough food and not too much.

    I know the thread has moved on to other aspects like dating and body/mental issues.
    Work on your mental issues so you can accept yourself and really move on to dating. This is a bigger hurdle than your outer appearance frankly for future relationships.
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  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    RickyCoogin wrote: »
    The notion of eating when hungry sounds like it makes sense to me. However, I love to cook and eat, so I figured it would be better if I stuck to a calorie plan (1500-1800 day, for a start) and ate regularly even when not really that hungry. I figure the idea is to get yourself used to what you're going to do long-term.

    Does this sound right?

    You can do both. Eat when hungry, but be conscious of how much you eat. Six small meals can give you the same number of calories as three larger meals.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Of course looks matter! I couldn't be be with someone who i wasn't physically attracted to. But in the end, if you have a crappy personality it will be hard to hang on to a decent woman. Yes, there are people out there who are just happy that someone, anyone wants to be in a relationship with them, but it doesn't take long to figure this out.

    There are physically gorgeous people out there with ugly personalities, and this eventually translates to their outer selves. I've met some stunning men in my time, but if they're ugly on the inside they will eventually look ugly on the outside to me.
  • CafeRacer808
    CafeRacer808 Posts: 2,396 Member
    Did it ever occur to you that your BDD is shaping how you see the world and that for the vast majority us, only a tiny fraction (if any) of our self worth is derived from our physical appearance? The degree to which your self worth seems to be tied up in physical appearance is beyond the scope of normal and falls into the category of disordered thinking. A good therapist or psychiatrist will help you unravel that.

    That said, even a good therapist won't be able help you if you're unwilling to accept their advice or, at the very least, consider an alternate point of view - which is exactly what you refusing to do in this thread. Until you're willing to challenge your own paradigms and actually address the root cause of your disordered thinking, no amount of weight loss will make you more attractive. The choice is yours.
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  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
    What it boils down to is if you are not happy with yourself no woman will be happy with you either. Mostly because they know that you will not believe them when they say how much they are attracted to you, or how lovable you are etc... Yeah, there are women who don't like bald men, fat men, short men, skinny men, poor men etc... but there are also a lot of women who are not using those kinds of things as criteria which a man must meet.

    If you can't find some means of making "you" the kind of person YOU like, then this struggle will never end. So the question is only how can YOU make you a person you like? Or are at least comfortable with? What would help you be comfortable in your own skin? You can't change everything you would want to change over night, but you can change those things through consistent work and progress. If the hair is a huge point of stress and you want to get some kind of hair replacement there is nothing wrong with that. Hell, some women lose their hair on their heads and grow it on their face. So some of these problems are sprinkled on both sides.

    So my question for you is what are you going to work on first and how? What is your plan? Or are you still getting your ideas together?
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  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Most guys i know would love to hear the comments in your last paragraph! And trust me, you will not attract the women who prefer the football player or bouncer type :wink:
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  • joans1976
    joans1976 Posts: 2,201 Member
    Please look into other types of therapy besides what you found didn't work for you in the past. There are many, many types and I know you know you need some outside guidance.
    I am very sorry you are so miserable. Please get help. You seem to have a lot to offer but only after you take care of you.
    Best of luck.
  • stylzemail
    stylzemail Posts: 33 Member
    Yes -that ok idea. But calories too high for fat loss, unless you workout a lot or be a runner to burn up, the excess up.
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  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    If you were really short and scrawny, you'd do just about anything to be big and tall. I'm 5"8 and have always felt like a big ol heifer next to short petite women, I've always wanted to be short and slight. But obviously this isn't in the cards for me, so I've learnt to accept the things i can not change and try and focus on the positive things instead of dwelling on the negative.
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  • amyepdx
    amyepdx Posts: 750 Member
    Two pieces of advice - do with them what you will:
    Start living in the moment. Figure out your calories for 2 lbs a week and each week you'll see your loses and gain more confidence in the process. I don't understand not wanting to work out to preserve muscle mass, but think about reconsidering it. Keeping to a routine - food shopping, preparing meals, exercising - will also get you out of your own head and help to stop the negative thoughts.
    And - stop fantasizing about movie stars
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    OP 1) I'm female, 5-7" and 51 years old, I lose at 2000 calories a day 2) I've lost 75#, twice and wouldn't recommend that. Don't just white knuckle and speed through this -- take some time to learn great habits along the way 3) photoshop. Just kidding.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    In fairness to the OP, I was watching A Series of Unfortunate Events on Netflix tonight and in it there was a minor character who was tall and bald, who was referred to by another character as an oaf. So the stereotype exists to a certain extent.

    OP also admits to having BDD.

    Can't leave it though without saying that, were I a man, I'd want to be tall and broad shouldered.
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