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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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She tried to steal my LV bag0
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She caught me trying to use her Halo.0
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He insisted I get the shrimp and knew I was allergic0
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She wouldn't show me her face0
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I paid for dinner with nickels and dimes...0
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He found out I have 20+ cats at home0
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I found cat hair in my salad0
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She asked me to submit my fingerprints...0
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he ran away with the bus boy0
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I found out he was ex con0
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He asked if my dad was single0
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She refused to hold my hand...0
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I held his hand and it was sticky!0
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She held my hand at the most inappropriate moment...1
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He licked my food so I wouldn't eat it0
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She misinterpreted my above mentioned metaphor...0
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0
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He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and never returned0
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I think the marriage proposal was a little too soon. She didn't say "No" she just said "Let's order appetizers first"0
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he double dipped in my ranch0
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Not true. I'm a blue cheese guy!
She told me to order off the kids menu0 -
he refused to order off the kids menu and tried to steal MY toy!1
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She asked seriously, "You ever see a dead body?"0
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His wife stormed in and slapped him0
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Her wife stormed in and slapped everybody1
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He left with Slim's wife after she slapped everybody.0
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She initiated a staring contest...0
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He tried hypnosis and I fell asleep...and off the chair0
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He slurped the soup *cringe*0
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I recognized her from the bachelor party...0
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