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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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He started talking about sports1
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She said we were going up to bed for “sexy time” but instead knocked me out and hacked my accounts2
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he promised we would ski but ended leaving me on top bunny hill freezing.1
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She wouldn’t get in my hot tub0
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There were beer cans and a half eaten sandwich in his hot tub floating0
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He made one gum commercial and now he thinks he's too cool0
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He didn't care about animals oral hygiene0
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until I realized he was a serial killer0
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Kept ghosting me0
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Told me she loved me before dessert even arrived0
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Wouldn't spring for dessert0
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His narcolepsy was so bad he couldn't decipher dreams from reality0
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She wouldn't give me any loving.0
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He made me order a side salad. Said i was getting to thick0
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He didn't like me telling him to stick to his diet. Boy fat@$$ pig.0
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He cussed at my mom0
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She brought her mom to get her a free meal.0
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He tried to make my mom do burpees after the meal.0
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She challenged everyone in the restaurant to a burping contest.0
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She started playing footsie with me under the table0
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My burping didn't impress her0
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My drinks wore off and I realized he was a man... Then it got even better.0
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His lack of carbs made him delirious0
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She smiled at me mischievously0
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He didn't like mischief0
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Wouldnt let me join in on the mischief0
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