Ask and/or answer the opposite sex... Likes, dislikes, advice, gift ideas, hye, etc
Replies
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4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »JstTheWayIam wrote: »Question
Let me rephrase... Do you get jealous if your SO notices or gives attention to someone else?
Don't really care if he gets attention, he may as well enjoy the ego boost and I trust him to not act on it.
I don't expect him to not notice attractive women around him. Heck, if she is that attractive then I notice too and we discuss.
I have not seen him give attention to someone, so I guess he knows better. And as above, I trust him, no reason to worry until he gives me a reason to not trust him. Then IMO its not really worth worrying, just move on, I got better things to do with my life.
You sound about like me. My husband gets attention, and so do I. And we both take notice of attractive people, and yeah, we can discuss it sometimes, like I'll see a woman with amazing legs, and I'll say so. That really isn't about me, or about our relationship.
Once, early in our relationship, I caught him checking out a girl while we were running. I was directly behind him, and this woman came down the trail from the opposite direction - really beautiful woman, great body, and running in short shorts and a running bra. My then-boyfriend/now-husband actually turned his head to watch her run past us. Cartoon-like. Then he saw me seeing him, and got dorky about it, trying to act like no, he was only turning around to make sure he knew where *I* was - no, no, he didn't even SEE that girl that I'm talking about.
I laughed my *elephant* off at him. Still laugh when I tell that story. Seriously - anyone would have noticed that girl. I noticed her.2 -
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Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
He hired a prostitute. Tried to convince me that nothing happened. Accused me of cheating, wouldn't let me have friends or go out.Tried to make me feel like the bad guy for wanting to end the relationship. Became an violent alcoholic. Wouldn't stop drinking. The end.2 -
JeepHair77 wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »JstTheWayIam wrote: »Question
Let me rephrase... Do you get jealous if your SO notices or gives attention to someone else?
Don't really care if he gets attention, he may as well enjoy the ego boost and I trust him to not act on it.
I don't expect him to not notice attractive women around him. Heck, if she is that attractive then I notice too and we discuss.
I have not seen him give attention to someone, so I guess he knows better. And as above, I trust him, no reason to worry until he gives me a reason to not trust him. Then IMO its not really worth worrying, just move on, I got better things to do with my life.
You sound about like me. My husband gets attention, and so do I. And we both take notice of attractive people, and yeah, we can discuss it sometimes, like I'll see a woman with amazing legs, and I'll say so. That really isn't about me, or about our relationship.
Once, early in our relationship, I caught him checking out a girl while we were running. I was directly behind him, and this woman came down the trail from the opposite direction - really beautiful woman, great body, and running in short shorts and a running bra. My then-boyfriend/now-husband actually turned his head to watch her run past us. Cartoon-like. Then he saw me seeing him, and got dorky about it, trying to act like no, he was only turning around to make sure he knew where *I* was - no, no, he didn't even SEE that girl that I'm talking about.
I laughed my *elephant* off at him. Still laugh when I tell that story. Seriously - anyone would have noticed that girl. I noticed her.
End of run, to many laughs and cant breath anymore!0 -
I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.1 -
Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
She found someone else and replaced me. The end.0 -
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I truly appreciate the candor of the responses here1
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
Meh, I'm a millennial (granted, an old millennial) and I can make small talk just fine. I don't like it because I find it pointless but I do it because I'm not rude. Recently moved to the south and it seems more common here for people to make small talk with strangers so you get used to it.
I don't think social media has any more affect on our ability to small talk than the Tv did, or the radio, or printed newspapers, or those darn wheeled carts with motors.
Fair enough. Appreciate the honest feedback. Thanks.0 -
MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
Meh, I'm a millennial (granted, an old millennial) and I can make small talk just fine. I don't like it because I find it pointless but I do it because I'm not rude. Recently moved to the south and it seems more common here for people to make small talk with strangers so you get used to it.
I don't think social media has any more affect on our ability to small talk than the Tv did, or the radio, or printed newspapers, or those darn wheeled carts with motors.
^^^ same, I agree
For me I am a listener, in a group situation I am always listening to all the conversations around me and it can really give me a headache. I have a hard time focusing on one conversation when there are multiple going on.
I prefer one on one conversations, but I don't appreciate small talk, it's rarely interesting to me. If I'm not interested, I would rather be alone in my own thoughts. I am becoming more comfortable with my perceived "awkwardness" of sitting in silence around other people.
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I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
I hate small talk mostly, because I'm a socially inept introvert.
That being said... my role in life has forced me to become pretty good at it, though it still feels awkward to me. I've mastered the art of smile, nod, and let them talk without looking like I'd rather be anywhere else without people.1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Well, I believe in destiny.Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
Not me.
You're born and you die and in between those two events there is a lot that you can't control and a lot that you can control.
Those situations that you can control negates the idea of a predetermined destiny.
Just like the phrase: " we control our own destiny " is nonsense. If it is predestined, how can one control it?3 -
Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
We were at the point of getting engaged. I had been talking to him about rings and whatnot. At first, he planned on getting a ring with his tax return. Then, he said he'd rather buy a bike and I should use my tax return money to buy my own ring. It was on downhill from there. From that, I concluded that he didn't plan on taking the relationship any further, and I just quit trying. Soon after that, we split. It was a nasty split. We own the home we were living in, together. We basically turned into roommates. Except 2 weeks after our split, he moved a new girl in. I gave up. Had him buy me out and signed over rights to him and moved out. What a mess....2 -
I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
I love small talk. I think it's important too. interaction between people is good for us all. Yes some people are hard to make small talk with and sometimes I havw found myself basically just talking but that's when you assess and maybe realize you have nothing in common to discuss or maybe they don't want to talk.
I have "friends" all over town from making small talk. And I learn lots. Drugstore wolverine tells me all sorts of fitness tips. My garage mechanics teach me about car stuff.
If there's a lack of common ground then you decide if you want to just talk abiut the weather or learn something about the other person.0 -
Small Talk Good
Big Talk Bad
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I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
Something has changed the way we communicate over the years. I'm not sure that I blame social media, but I don't think it is helping. I do think the internet in general has changed the way we communicate and thus the art of small talk is vanishing.
When I sit and think about things, I couldn't tell you the last time I sent a handwritten letter. Email and various messengers have long taken the place of a sheet of paper and an envelope. I used to sit and talk with the people I work with, but the internet and VPNs have made virtual offices a reality. There are virtual meetings, but everyone I know puts tape over their computer cameras. I couldn't even tell you what many of my coworkers look like.
Small talk can create personal connections. I work customer support and I often have the same large group of people call over and over (I help professionals of similar knowledge base solve problems on the equipment I work on, not the general public so that shrinks the number of people I get calls from a ton). Partially learned through life experience and partially the natural gift of talking too much, I have learned to quickly find common ground between myself and almost anyone I talk to. At the very least, this makes me memorable. Usually, it will make the event friendly. Due to the nature of work I do, people are often not in the best mood when they call me. I get them talking about a vacation they took, ask for tips if I take a trip to the area they live in, talk about cars, funny stories when I used to work in the field like those guys, or a myriad of other topics, it can deescalate a situation quickly. At best, I create a friend. Someone I can call and ask questions about something I might not now.
I am well known in the circle of people I support and am well respected. I won't stop and say it is because I have the gift of gab, but I think it is a serious factor. When I get a call when someone has a problem, I treat them like a friend and let them know I'll take care of it for them and 99.9% of the time, I get a great response in return. I'm not sure I could establish a friendly conversation if I couldn't make small talk to establish common ground
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I heard a brief radio spot today about the "lost art of small talk" and how people are losing the ability to sit and be polite to one and other in person around a dinner table, social events, or family gatherings. Somewhere along the line (and likely due to our over reliance on social media for interaction) we have begun losing the ability to "make small talk".
I thought about making a new thread in Chit-Chat, but I wanted to poll the readers on this thread first and get a sense of it was something worthwhile or not? Maybe too serious? Maybe not the right place?
How do you all make small talk? Is this something you have thought about in social situations? Or even business situations? Where you find that there's just a lack of common ground conversation to bind individuals together?.
Thoughts? Anybody. Please and thanks.
Something has changed the way we communicate over the years. I'm not sure that I blame social media, but I don't think it is helping. I do think the internet in general has changed the way we communicate and thus the art of small talk is vanishing.
When I sit and think about things, I couldn't tell you the last time I sent a handwritten letter. Email and various messengers have long taken the place of a sheet of paper and an envelope. I used to sit and talk with the people I work with, but the internet and VPNs have made virtual offices a reality. There are virtual meetings, but everyone I know puts tape over their computer cameras. I couldn't even tell you what many of my coworkers look like.
Small talk can create personal connections. I work customer support and I often have the same large group of people call over and over (I help professionals of similar knowledge base solve problems on the equipment I work on, not the general public so that shrinks the number of people I get calls from a ton). Partially learned through life experience and partially the natural gift of talking too much, I have learned to quickly find common ground between myself and almost anyone I talk to. At the very least, this makes me memorable. Usually, it will make the event friendly. Due to the nature of work I do, people are often not in the best mood when they call me. I get them talking about a vacation they took, ask for tips if I take a trip to the area they live in, talk about cars, funny stories when I used to work in the field like those guys, or a myriad of other topics, it can deescalate a situation quickly. At best, I create a friend. Someone I can call and ask questions about something I might not now.
I am well known in the circle of people I support and am well respected. I won't stop and say it is because I have the gift of gab, but I think it is a serious factor. When I get a call when someone has a problem, I treat them like a friend and let them know I'll take care of it for them and 99.9% of the time, I get a great response in return. I'm not sure I could establish a friendly conversation if I couldn't make small talk to establish common ground
Great post !
... don't get cocky1 -
I don't think the ability to small talk has lessened, its the desire to. There are so many distractions available. I walk a lot and a large percentage of the time I pass someone else, they are either looking at their phone or have headphones in and wouldn't hear a greeting.4
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I think "small talk" has changed, but I think it's been changing, evolving, since forever. Handheld media has been a recent factor, sure. People in awkward situations have a crutch - they can get out their phones and pretend to be looking over some incredibly important work e-mails. Electronic communication in general - I mean, I can't remember the last time I left the office and WENT to a meeting with a client. All of our work gets done by conference call and e-mail these days, which is great, in some ways, but it means that we don't make that many personal connections with clients and that sort of thing.
But iphones/electronics are just the most recent factor. Shoot, the invention of the television certainly impacted the way people talk to one another. Things change. Constantly.0 -
I don't think the ability to small talk has lessened, its the desire to. There are so many distractions available. I walk a lot and a large percentage of the time I pass someone else, they are either looking at their phone or have headphones in and wouldn't hear a greeting.
I find this to be true multiple times a day. Every day.
I'm one of those that likes to smile and say hello to complete strangers.
It doesn't happen near as often as it used to.0 -
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I don't think the ability to small talk has lessened, its the desire to. There are so many distractions available. I walk a lot and a large percentage of the time I pass someone else, they are either looking at their phone or have headphones in and wouldn't hear a greeting.
I find this to be true multiple times a day. Every day.
I'm one of those that likes to smile and say hello to complete strangers.
It doesn't happen near as often as it used to.
I am that way too. I look people in the eye and smile or say "good morning". Sometimes people are friendly back and other times they look at me like I have 4 heads.
I say start the thread though. Would be interesting to see everyone's opinions on this
I've noticed that too. Like, I greet someone randomly and they look confused.0 -
I don't think the ability to small talk has lessened, its the desire to. There are so many distractions available. I walk a lot and a large percentage of the time I pass someone else, they are either looking at their phone or have headphones in and wouldn't hear a greeting.
I find this to be true multiple times a day. Every day.
I'm one of those that likes to smile and say hello to complete strangers.
It doesn't happen near as often as it used to.
I am that way too. I look people in the eye and smile or say "good morning". Sometimes people are friendly back and other times they look at me like I have 4 heads.
I say start the thread though. Would be interesting to see everyone's opinions on this
Having spent 25 years of my life in Indiana/Georgia I found that most people were open to friendly "hellos" or "good mornings".
In New England for the most recent 15 years if I say "hello" or "good morning" to someone they immediately are on guard and want to know what I want from them. Which is essentially nothing other than to say hello or good morning.
Yes I am painting with a very broad brush here. Vice versa I'm sure happens on the regular with many far and wide. Just my personal experience for the majority of the time.1 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I'm terrified when strangers want to talk to me. Even smiles and waves make me really uncomfortable. I know they are just friendly people and I'll smile back but it always catches me off guard and always makes me uncomfortable.
Hi.
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Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
She found someone else and replaced me. The end.
People suck.0 -
canary_girl wrote: »Gender-neutral question: What was the main reason for your last relationship break-up?
For me, it was because we couldn't hold an interesting conversation between the two of us. Talking to him bored me, and I assume he felt the same way. Everything else was great, he was a really nice, sweet, hot guy (multilingual too, with an accent!).
She found someone else and replaced me. The end.
People suck.
Hi !0 -
As for small talk, I like it until strangers begin to overshare personal information. Especially trauma or unfortunate events. I get uncomfortable and have a hard time returning the conversation to more neutral topics.
Or politics or religion. I'm in Georgia and people can be somewhat conservative.
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