Friends suddenly unsupportive after losing a lot of weight?

Noreenmarie1234

And also with the new vanity sizing where size 10 is what an old size 14 is...tricks people into thinking they aren't fat.

junodog1

Verity1111 wrote: »

Adventuretown wrote: »

I am at a loss and figured I'd turn to you guys to see if you've dealt with anything similar..

I started trying to lose weight in February 2016, where my starting weight was 234lbs (on a 5'3" frame..I was pretty big). In seven months, I lost 60lbs through cleaning up my diet and exercising regularly. Nothing drastic, nothing "fad-like".. Literally just hard work. I maintained my weight for 5ish months, giving my mind/body a break from such hard work, and I'm now back on track and losing weight again to lean out a bit more. I want to see the muscle definition in the muscles I've worked so hard build.

Admittedly, how I look has changed A LOT. I went from a size 20 jeans to a size 8. My face is a heck of a lot slimmer now, too. But I've worked with a dietitian and my family doctor this whole time, and I'm healthy. I am the fittest I've been in my entire 32 years of life. I climb mountains, do every single sport I ever wanted to try / participate in (easily!), and I seriously love my life. Yes, I like being smaller and like how I look more now, but it's become soooo much more than the scale.


ANYWAYS, I had a friend message me the other day after I posted a photo of myself and he went on and on, saying I "looked like a f*ing skeleton" and he's "worried I might be anorexic" and that I'm "skin and bones". Trust me, at 173lbs with a 39% skeletal muscle mass, I'm the furthest thing from skin and bones. I'm built sturdy and muscularly and built for power in all my sports I do.

How the heck do I even begin to deal with this type of criticism? Or the day-to-day coworker comments about "Oh, careful, you're getting too skinny".. I feel like telling everyone in my life that if they didn't intervene when I was obese and veryyyy unhealthy before I started weight loss, they have no right to say anything about my size now.. But there's got to be a better, less confrontational way.

I never thought I'd be on the receiving end of "thin shaming".. that's for sure!

I just made a post about exactly this!!! Although I was very angry and it came out wrong so people thought I was blaming others for my weight gain. But no basically what you said - you didn't step in when I was over 200lbs but yet you step in when Im healthy??? Wtheck?? I have no understanding and I can only assume jealousy or insecurities of their own cause it. Otherwise, I don't get it! You look healthy based on your photos btw although you obviously know this.

Oh yeah - that was a hot post for a while.

VeggieBarbells

Ignoew

Adventuretown wrote: »

I am at a loss and figured I'd turn to you guys to see if you've dealt with anything similar..

I started trying to lose weight in February 2016, where my starting weight was 234lbs (on a 5'3" frame..I was pretty big). In seven months, I lost 60lbs through cleaning up my diet and exercising regularly. Nothing drastic, nothing "fad-like".. Literally just hard work. I maintained my weight for 5ish months, giving my mind/body a break from such hard work, and I'm now back on track and losing weight again to lean out a bit more. I want to see the muscle definition in the muscles I've worked so hard build.

Admittedly, how I look has changed A LOT. I went from a size 20 jeans to a size 8. My face is a heck of a lot slimmer now, too. But I've worked with a dietitian and my family doctor this whole time, and I'm healthy. I am the fittest I've been in my entire 32 years of life. I climb mountains, do every single sport I ever wanted to try / participate in (easily!), and I seriously love my life. Yes, I like being smaller and like how I look more now, but it's become soooo much more than the scale.


ANYWAYS, I had a friend message me the other day after I posted a photo of myself and he went on and on, saying I "looked like a f*ing skeleton" and he's "worried I might be anorexic" and that I'm "skin and bones". Trust me, at 173lbs with a 39% skeletal muscle mass, I'm the furthest thing from skin and bones. I'm built sturdy and muscularly and built for power in all my sports I do.

How the heck do I even begin to deal with this type of criticism? Or the day-to-day coworker comments about "Oh, careful, you're getting too skinny".. I feel like telling everyone in my life that if they didn't intervene when I was obese and veryyyy unhealthy before I started weight loss, they have no right to say anything about my size now.. But there's got to be a better, less confrontational way.

I never thought I'd be on the receiving end of "thin shaming".. that's for sure!

Ignore them, move on and find others that support and believe in your efforts. There's negativity everywhere, however its down to you if you let that remain in your life / world. Keep doing what your doing, and kick *kitten* all the way lady.

sarahthes

Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »

And also with the new vanity sizing where size 10 is what an old size 14 is...tricks people into thinking they aren't fat.

That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that I have to buy slim cut/skinny jeans for my 5 year old because the regular ones are too big in the waist even with the internal drawstring. My 5 year old is 50th percentile. I'm appalled that they need to vanity size clothes for 5 year olds.

SusanMFindlay

sarahthes wrote: »

Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »

And also with the new vanity sizing where size 10 is what an old size 14 is...tricks people into thinking they aren't fat.

That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that I have to buy slim cut/skinny jeans for my 5 year old because the regular ones are too big in the waist even with the internal drawstring. My 5 year old is 50th percentile. I'm appalled that they need to vanity size clothes for 5 year olds.

Interesting. Must vary dramatically from brand to brand. My 19 month old is wearing 3T and even 4T clothes for most items. Admittedly, he's over 90th percentile for height and about 95th for weight - but that seems like overkill to me!

sarahthes

SusanMFindlay wrote: »

sarahthes wrote: »

Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »

And also with the new vanity sizing where size 10 is what an old size 14 is...tricks people into thinking they aren't fat.

That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that I have to buy slim cut/skinny jeans for my 5 year old because the regular ones are too big in the waist even with the internal drawstring. My 5 year old is 50th percentile. I'm appalled that they need to vanity size clothes for 5 year olds.

Interesting. Must vary dramatically from brand to brand. My 19 month old is wearing 3T and even 4T clothes for most items. Admittedly, he's over 90th percentile for height and about 95th for weight - but that seems like overkill to me!

It can definitely vary by brand. But even Carter's/Osh-Kosh seems to be sized very large (I kind of expect it with Old Navy). The length is right for my kiddo. It's just the waist that is oversized.

SusanMFindlay

sarahthes wrote: »

SusanMFindlay wrote: »

sarahthes wrote: »

Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »

And also with the new vanity sizing where size 10 is what an old size 14 is...tricks people into thinking they aren't fat.

That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that I have to buy slim cut/skinny jeans for my 5 year old because the regular ones are too big in the waist even with the internal drawstring. My 5 year old is 50th percentile. I'm appalled that they need to vanity size clothes for 5 year olds.

Interesting. Must vary dramatically from brand to brand. My 19 month old is wearing 3T and even 4T clothes for most items. Admittedly, he's over 90th percentile for height and about 95th for weight - but that seems like overkill to me!

It can definitely vary by brand. But even Carter's/Osh-Kosh seems to be sized very large (I kind of expect it with Old Navy). The length is right for my kiddo. It's just the waist that is oversized.

I'm surprised you're having issues with Carter's; they're about the "skinniest" fitting kids clothing brand I've encountered (great for my older son; not so much for my younger son). But we're not up to the sizes you're talking about yet. And even they have some items that are wider than others, so it probably depends a lot on style (and, I'd be willing to bet, on gender).

sincitycyclops

luckily, I have surrounded myself with a group of people who are very supportive and are always encouraging me and celebrating my successes. Because of that I was able to lose over 104 pounds in 10 months.
There are people in the world who make everything about them, sadly. My group are all on the same journey and our goals are about getting healthy and supporting one another. I'd be happy to introduce anyone to my group and have you come into the folds and be in the company of people who want you to win at what YOU want, not what they want.

Enjcg5

If your "friend" is making those comments to you and you weigh 173lb then they truly have a problem with themselves and they are projecting it on to you. Carry on with doing the best things for you and your body! Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter!!!

joeboland

Likewise. I've actually lost friends during my journey, and a lot of support has turned to criticism. I've had people tell me I look underweight, and my mother "helpfully" makes a point of asking me, every time I see her, if I'm eating enough. I'm still ~185lbs, and I hover around 10% BF. I know there's nothing wrong with my body composition, so I wish people would stop offering me unsolicited advice, especially when it's clear that they don't have any good advice to offer me.