Have you ever been "fit shamed"?
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kenyonhaff wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »
Personally, I rarely get any comments regarding my activity (a funny one I got was that my womb will fall out if I continued running)
Yeah I hate it when I'm just plodding along and out pops my womb... really? You'd think these marathons would just be littered with lady bits afterwards if that was the case... LOL...
How old are those people? I thought that myth was around when the Dead Sea was still just sick.5 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »FatPorkyChop wrote: »I'm petite and usually train 5 times a week (for 40 minutes / 1h), I do cardio, strenght, pilates, classes that I like. So I look fit but not bulky at all.
When I lost weight and started exercise, Some colleagues labbelled me as "gym rat" or "gym junky". One day, a colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman and told me that I was trying to look like that..... I was a bit shocked and it got me thinking.... I started to pay attention to all the comments and a lot are negative, it seems to bother people that I train regularly. Some tell me that I train too much and that is silly to train like that, or that I am not an athlete and don't understand my purpose. It doesn't bother me really as I always loved sports and I feel great training. I also know that my training regime is far from being extreme... but why does it bother them?
Did you have any similar experience?
IDK...do you talk about it ad nauseum? That can get pretty old and also come off as a bit condescending as well. This actually happens a lot with people who are coming out of the gates with guns a blazin'...sometimes it's all they can talk about...they're not really trying to be annoying, they're just excited...but everyone else doesn't care.
This is a good point.
I hardly say a word about what I do for exercise to anyone, except to those who are equally active. In my office, there are a few of us who cycle long distances, run marathons, compete in body building championships, etc., so we all talk. But I won't say a thing to the rest. I'll bet that 95% of my coworkers don't even have the faintest idea I own a bicycle.
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FatPorkyChop wrote: »Did you have any similar experience?
i had a 'manager' on one contract who could not leave two subjects alone: my bike commuting, and the fact that i can go years without even thinking of beer.
clearly the guy had some stuff going on, but it's not about being 'shamed', to me. trying to shame a smoker whose idea of a great life is to do nothing at all while reading every book in the world is a joke anyway. it was more about having the effing pants bored off me by someone who will not drop a topic that was never interesting enough to discuss in the first place, to me.
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JstTheWayIam wrote: »..."It should be us losing all the weight"...
Then get your kittens out there and do the work!
But seriously, I'm incapable of being shamed regarding my health and fitness. In order for that to happen, I'd have to be doing something worthy of shame. I'm pretty proud of how I take care of myself, so really, any shame directed toward me in that arena is just gonna get bounced right back at the perpetrator.
Nasty comment: "It's too hard for normal people to eat healthy and work out like you do. Some of us have actual lives."
Response (with smirk): "Really? I see things differently. Personally, I find it's harder to sit around on the couch all day eating cake and feeling sorry for myself." (Cue the offended gasp.)
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cwolfman13 wrote: »FatPorkyChop wrote: »I'm petite and usually train 5 times a week (for 40 minutes / 1h), I do cardio, strenght, pilates, classes that I like. So I look fit but not bulky at all.
When I lost weight and started exercise, Some colleagues labbelled me as "gym rat" or "gym junky". One day, a colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman and told me that I was trying to look like that..... I was a bit shocked and it got me thinking.... I started to pay attention to all the comments and a lot are negative, it seems to bother people that I train regularly. Some tell me that I train too much and that is silly to train like that, or that I am not an athlete and don't understand my purpose. It doesn't bother me really as I always loved sports and I feel great training. I also know that my training regime is far from being extreme... but why does it bother them?
Did you have any similar experience?
IDK...do you talk about it ad nauseum? That can get pretty old and also come off as a bit condescending as well. This actually happens a lot with people who are coming out of the gates with guns a blazin'...sometimes it's all they can talk about...they're not really trying to be annoying, they're just excited...but everyone else doesn't care.
This is a good point.
I hardly say a word about what I do for exercise to anyone, except to those who are equally active. In my office, there are a few of us who cycle long distances, run marathons, compete in body building championships, etc., so we all talk. But I won't say a thing to the rest. I'll bet that 95% of my coworkers don't even have the faintest idea I own a bicycle.
Thanks for all the responses.
> No I don't talk about it, they can see my gym bag in the morning and I often decline to have after work drinks with them (which I use to do). I limit the afterwork drinks at once a week only. So they obviously know that I train and how often. Before being overweight I used to be fit, sports has always been part of my life so I feel like I just went back to normal (9nothing to brag about). However, they have never seen me fit as I started working for this company only several months ago (I was overweight and off training for a year).
> about choosing the "fit shamed" expression: english is not my mother tongue and sometimes I don't pick the right words, sorry about that.
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Yes! This happed a lot when I first lost a bunch of weight and started getting fit. People saying everything from I am obsessed to I am too skinny and look sick! I never really cared what anyone else thought and actually used their insults to fuel my motivation at times. I think people are just jealous and that's how they show it. People who don't go through the process just don't understand the process. I had people everywhere telling me that I was going too far despite me reassuring them that I was "tearing down" to rock bottom in order to re-build the type of body and health that I wanted. Those who never trusted my process are no longer in my life. Today I get called all the typical BS... gym rat, even crazy. I train everyday as if I'm a professional athlete. I fight Muay Thai and often times have bruises, etc. I lift weights like a man. People think I am nuts and I love it!4
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You do YOU! forget what people say, mostly they are just lazy or jealous or both.1
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Yup! Some people I know told me that they didn't like how I was 'obsessed with fitness' and they think that I've changed when all I've done is found something that I enjoy and finally started to enjoy working out and getting fit! If it wasn't that it was that they thought I was losing weight too quickly or deciding that their input on what I eat is the better one than the personal trainer that I had been seeing. Or they tell me that I make them feel bad for all the weight I was losing!0
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Lolz.
No.
I'd like to see anyone try.2 -
why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?1
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why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?
How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts, can ANYONE ELSE, much less a stranger, make you feel bad about yourself? Are we really that dependent on what others think over what/how we feel about ourselves? WTF has happened to our self esteem?
Yes. I'm old, bald and "slightly" overweight. What else you got 'cause I really don't care. I'm doing good (and getting better) and like me. If you don't (like me) just go away, 'cause I really don't care.1 -
Yea I been fit shamed as well. It has nothing to do with you. By you exercising, your making them feel worse themselves. Best thing is to be sarcastic and ignore the comments.0
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I haven't really anyone shame me for being fit, but I do find that a few of my coworkers don't want to hear about my achievements. When I run a race, I always bring my medal and lay on my desk the next day lol. For the most part, I find people are happy for me, but still you have those few that are unhappy with themselves and they want everyone to be that way too. The way I feel about it is the more you hate me, the more I love myself and the harder I will workout , and then you will hate me even more because I am super fit hahahaha
I laughed one day my coworker asked me did I run over the weekend... I was like you breathed this weekend right? Of course I worked out0 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »The only thing that I would have done is forwarded the picture and email to HR with a comment "is this what I can expect here for trying to improve myself?". The rest I'm more inclined to ignore, but that seemed to cross a line for me in reading the post.
This for me too. I never understand how people go to work and do crap like that.0 -
I've gotten "You eat too much" more than once. I usually respond with, "Clearly by all the weight I'm not gaining."4
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why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?
How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts, can ANYONE ELSE, much less a stranger, make you feel bad about yourself? Are we really that dependent on what others think over what/how we feel about ourselves? WTF has happened to our self esteem?
Yes. I'm old, bald and "slightly" overweight. What else you got 'cause I really don't care. I'm doing good (and getting better) and like me. If you don't (like me) just go away, 'cause I really don't care.
Fat shaming is a thing.0 -
why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?
How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts, can ANYONE ELSE, much less a stranger, make you feel bad about yourself? Are we really that dependent on what others think over what/how we feel about ourselves? WTF has happened to our self esteem?
Yes. I'm old, bald and "slightly" overweight. What else you got 'cause I really don't care. I'm doing good (and getting better) and like me. If you don't (like me) just go away, 'cause I really don't care.
I fully agree with you. However, how does me having good self-esteem make it ok for someone else to try and put me down?4 -
Yes...this year I joined a women's "mom" organization and was put on the leadership committee for fundraising. One of my ideas that I had was to hold a 5k fun run and one mile walk. I got turned down immediately from some of the other moms, making comments like "nobody wants to go out and run/walk for fun." I felt like such an idiot for bringing it up.
When I was working, I would get comments all the time on my choice of food for lunches. "You get so healthy," or "Don't you ever just eat junk." Then when they would actually see me eating pizza or something not considered in there minds healthy they made such a big deal about it. "Oh my gosh she is eating pizza!" It always made me feel like I was abnormal because I chose to eat green beans with chicken for lunch and snacked on protein bars. I really try for balance in my diet, I eat my treats when I want but I have learned to love my healthy foods as well. I never once ridiculed them for their choice of food. Now that I am getting older I am learning not to let peoples opinions bother me.4 -
why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?
How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts, can ANYONE ELSE, much less a stranger, make you feel bad about yourself? Are we really that dependent on what others think over what/how we feel about ourselves? WTF has happened to our self esteem?
Yes. I'm old, bald and "slightly" overweight. What else you got 'cause I really don't care. I'm doing good (and getting better) and like me. If you don't (like me) just go away, 'cause I really don't care.
I fully agree with you. However, how does me having good self-esteem make it ok for someone else to try and put me down?
It doesn't, why it bothers you (or some/most posting here) is the question.trigden1991 wrote: »why cant the term "fit shame" be used? If people make you feel bad about what you look like it is not shaming you?
How, if you are happy with yourself, or your efforts, can ANYONE ELSE, much less a stranger, make you feel bad about yourself? Are we really that dependent on what others think over what/how we feel about ourselves? WTF has happened to our self esteem?
Yes. I'm old, bald and "slightly" overweight. What else you got 'cause I really don't care. I'm doing good (and getting better) and like me. If you don't (like me) just go away, 'cause I really don't care.
Fat shaming is a thing.
The only person who can "shame" you is you. If you're happy with yourself, or your efforts at getting better, there can be no shame. If you are not happy with yourself or your efforts, you know what to do.1 -
Last year, I really had gained a lot then my friends were like teasing me telling me I am like a mother of 5 already. Well, I am not really fit shamed since I am confident for myself that I am just perfectly healthy. Lol. Until such time, as I wore my favorite coat, I realized something was really wrong. It was not really fir to me at all, then I look at myself in the mirror saying, I need to loose some weight.0
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