My story is different than most...

xxghost

Everyone is entitled to believe their story is different, because it is. We might share similar goals or struggles, but our weight gain/loss history and our pasts are nothing alike. Come on...cut people some slack.

Absolutely.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

okay, I love that gif.

but all that aside, there are a lot of people here in the same boat. Jump in.

Hey. Where's my award. :pout:

RoninLife

Hi there and welcome! I'm sure you didn't mean any malice when you said your story is different than anyone else.

I do sympathize with you when people ask if you're pregnant. That happened to me too. One day I was doing some weight training in the gym and some ignorant lady came up to me and asked me how far along I was and if it's safe for a pregnant woman to lift weights.... I wanted to smack her with the dumbbell I was holding.

Anyway, just ignore the negative comments. I for one don't understand why people feel the need to put others down. I hope you aren't discouraged by it. Good Luck !!!

vingogly

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

escloflowneCHANGED

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

jonnythan

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

I didn't say anything about how I personally interpreted it.

The responses make it clear that a large portion of the people reading the post interpreted it that way.

Was that correct? Maybe, maybe not. However, if a large portion of your audience hears you say something you didn't intend to say, the error is not with the audience.

As a "mental health professional" (what does that even mean?) I'd expect you to understand that the message received is the message sent.

By the way, how can I have confirmation bias about a person I've literally never heard of? I'm not sure you quite understand your own post.

melmckay99

Don't let the negativity get to you. There are lots of really AWESOME people on MFP, unfortunately it's the ones with the snarky remarks that like to reply to posts the most.

In any case, I think we have pretty similar stats. I am 5'5" and 1/2, started at about 142 lbs, and am now down to 120 lbs. I lost weight mostly by diet, but exercise helped a lot too to get rid of the flab. Feel free to add me is you are looking for more MFP friends!

elyelyse

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself

Just to clarify, an internet troll is someone who says something, usually offensive, in order to get a rise out of someone else just for the pleasure of it. It's not just someone who disagrees with someone else and speaks up about it in a blunt manner. The person she called a troll (me) didn't say anything trollish. So, the way I see it, the "troll" thing was just name-calling.

vingogly

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

Yeah, that's not trollish behavior at all.

You people are real pieces of work.

MRSHHJONES

:flowerforyou: I have to apologize for the people who have posted rude comments! Please think nothing of them! They are not the majority on this web site by any means!!! I think your goal is reasonable and attainable! You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jonnythan

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

Yeah, that's not trollish behavior at all.

You people are real pieces of work.

I guess it takes a "mental health professional" to make that diagnosis.

eblakes93

Now a lot of you may judge me for being 142 lbs and trying to lose weight. Technically, my BMI is normal and healthy. But being 32 lbs heavier than pre kids is a hard pill to swallow and I hate being stared at like I'm pregnant and people want to ask me when I'm due. I've HAD people ask me when I'm due. It's not fun. I carry weight like my dad. Anything extra goes straight to my stomach and hips. So no, I'm not overweight and obese trying to lose 100 lbs. My goal is to be 125 lbs. it sounds easily attainable, but for someone like me, it just isn't. So I'll be needing people here for support when I'm feeling discouraged. thanks for having this website. It is amazing to me so far!

I'm not usually this mean, but I am judging you for thinking we will be judgmental just based on one number. And why are you "someone like you"? We are all here because we have struggled with our weight. Obviously it is not easy or everyone would be thin. And finally, how is your story different than everyone else?

jonnythan

Now a lot of you may judge me for being 142 lbs and trying to lose weight. Technically, my BMI is normal and healthy. But being 32 lbs heavier than pre kids is a hard pill to swallow and I hate being stared at like I'm pregnant and people want to ask me when I'm due. I've HAD people ask me when I'm due. It's not fun. I carry weight like my dad. Anything extra goes straight to my stomach and hips. So no, I'm not overweight and obese trying to lose 100 lbs. My goal is to be 125 lbs. it sounds easily attainable, but for someone like me, it just isn't. So I'll be needing people here for support when I'm feeling discouraged. thanks for having this website. It is amazing to me so far!

I'm not usually this mean, but I am judging you for thinking we will be judgmental just based on one number. And why are you "someone like you"? We are all here because we have struggled with our weight. Obviously it is not easy or everyone would be thin. And finally, how is your story different than everyone else?

Oh you're just being mean. It was a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. You should be welcoming.

Or something. That seems to be what some people in this thread are saying. That if someone shows up and proclaims how she's special and not like anyone else, we're supposed to smile and hug her and make her feel good. And special. Or... whatever. Gah.

GrandmaDoris

Congratulations! It's much better to work on getting in shape now, than it would be if you waited. Once the weight comes on, it doesn't leave easily.

eblakes93

Now a lot of you may judge me for being 142 lbs and trying to lose weight. Technically, my BMI is normal and healthy. But being 32 lbs heavier than pre kids is a hard pill to swallow and I hate being stared at like I'm pregnant and people want to ask me when I'm due. I've HAD people ask me when I'm due. It's not fun. I carry weight like my dad. Anything extra goes straight to my stomach and hips. So no, I'm not overweight and obese trying to lose 100 lbs. My goal is to be 125 lbs. it sounds easily attainable, but for someone like me, it just isn't. So I'll be needing people here for support when I'm feeling discouraged. thanks for having this website. It is amazing to me so far!

I'm not usually this mean, but I am judging you for thinking we will be judgmental just based on one number. And why are you "someone like you"? We are all here because we have struggled with our weight. Obviously it is not easy or everyone would be thin. And finally, how is your story different than everyone else?

Oh you're just being mean. It was a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. You should be welcoming.

Or something. That seems to be what some people in this thread are saying. That if someone shows up and proclaims how she's special and not like anyone else, we're supposed to smile and hug her and make her feel good. And special. Or... whatever. Gah.

I think what bothers me the most is I clicked thinking there was going to have some awful weight gaining disease, or cancer, or have some awful abusive family history, or something that actually was different. I feel like the title was just a ploy to get attention, which frankly just makes me sad. If you need attention that badly in your life, I suggest you find something more fulfilling in the real world.

windstar57

I think some people may not have seen the undertone of the original post….if you look at what some people have accomplished (as in losing 50, 60, 70 + lbs) it can be a little intimidating when you only want to lose 10, 15, 20 lbs. You may feel like you don't belong here.

I have a way to go and I wish I had only 10 - 25 lbs to lose, but that isn't the point. I joined because I thought this was community to be welcoming others in need….just because you don't understand the phrasing of the post or may interpret as wanting attention, or thinking they are special does not mean you should attack anyone.

We are all here for a reason, to lose weight. I thought this would be the one "nonjudgemental" place that people can speak from the heart or pain they are feeling.

I have made some friends in my group…Thank God, non of them have been sarcastic as I may have wallowed in my sorrow and ate myself into a food coma.

Don't judge…accept. People put themselves out on a line here for understanding…keep the snide remarks to yourself…

If you don't have anything nice to say…..then don't say a thing…..

peggymdellinger

Well, there are actually quite a few similar to you... Look for them (search criteria selections) and they can help.

And people will eat you alive on these boards.... don't fret, they're just hungry!

Welcome -
~j

Hahahahahahhaaaa... truth. Have a snickers people... you're not yourselves when you're hungry! LOL!

jonnythan

I think some people may not have seen the undertone of the original post….if you look at what some people have accomplished (as in losing 50, 60, 70 + lbs) it can be a little intimidating when you only want to lose 10, 15, 20 lbs. You may feel like you don't belong here.

I have a way to go and I wish I had only 10 - 25 lbs to lose, but that isn't the point. I joined because I thought this was community to be welcoming others in need….just because you don't understand the phrasing of the post or may interpret as wanting attention, or thinking they are special does not mean you should attack anyone.

We are all here for a reason, to lose weight. I thought this would be the one "nonjudgemental" place that people can speak from the heart or pain they are feeling.

I have made some friends in my group…Thank God, non of them have been sarcastic as I may have wallowed in my sorrow and ate myself into a food coma.

Don't judge…accept. People put themselves out on a line here for understanding…keep the snide remarks to yourself…

If you don't have anything nice to say…..then don't say a thing…..

The OP was kinda judgmental. It came across to many people as something like "I've never been really fat like all you guys, but I want to lose a little weight and hope that's OK."

KenosFeoh

No so unusual; you'll find you have a lot of company here.

peggymdellinger

I think some people may not have seen the undertone of the original post….if you look at what some people have accomplished (as in losing 50, 60, 70 + lbs) it can be a little intimidating when you only want to lose 10, 15, 20 lbs. You may feel like you don't belong here.

I have a way to go and I wish I had only 10 - 25 lbs to lose, but that isn't the point. I joined because I thought this was community to be welcoming others in need….just because you don't understand the phrasing of the post or may interpret as wanting attention, or thinking they are special does not mean you should attack anyone.

We are all here for a reason, to lose weight. I thought this would be the one "nonjudgemental" place that people can speak from the heart or pain they are feeling.

I have made some friends in my group…Thank God, non of them have been sarcastic as I may have wallowed in my sorrow and ate myself into a food coma.

Don't judge…accept. People put themselves out on a line here for understanding…keep the snide remarks to yourself…

If you don't have anything nice to say…..then don't say a thing…..

^this

jaimrlx

Welcome to the most judgmental place on the planet - the MFP boards.

Friend me if you'd like, good luck to you OP.

MrsG31

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

Love this.

thickntired

You came into the forum and said something that came across as elitist and "i'm a special snowflake, not like the rest of you."

You made a mistake. Own up to it. Calling everyone who took the statement that way a troll and telling them to run along just makes you look like more of an elitist special snowflake.

No, that's how you interpreted it possibly through the lens of your own experiences wIth people you percieve as elitist. As a mental health professional I saw it as a statement of otherness and alienation from someone who isn't sure she fits in anywhere. Nice job, people, extending a welcome to her.

And her telling those engaged in trollish behavior to take a hike didn't come across as elitist, it comes across as someone standing up for herself ... But for someone who has already decided she's elitist it adds weight to their preconception. It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

To those who "stood up" to this terrible newcomer in your midst, what did you gain from it?

What does she have to own up to? Not everyone took what she said as elitist. I took it as her trying to avoid the very reaction she got. She felt different as most people here are trying to lose way more weight than she is, so she felt her story was different. Perhaps she just skimmed through the site and couldn't find anyone with her similar stats but felt she'd be welcomed here. I just don't think she deserve the nasty comments.

cicibeanz

The OP was kinda judgmental. It came across to many people as something like "I've never been really fat like all you guys, but I want to lose a little weight and hope that's OK."

Honestly, that was how the original post came across to me as well. I guess that's the problem with communicating on the internet- it's hard to make sure that everyone is looking at a situation the same way. I only have my own experience- that of someone who has been consistently overweight for most of her adult life- to use as a frame of reference. And I have had many uncomfortable exchanges with folks who tell me how fat they feel just so they can point out that they really aren't that fat at all.

When I stop and think about it, though, I can see how the OP might feel legitimately intimidated or like she might be judged.

Welcome to the group, Naturebeckles. And thanks to everyone who engaged constructively in this conversation for broadening my perspective.

Naturebeckles

The OP was kinda judgmental. It came across to many people as something like "I've never been really fat like all you guys, but I want to lose a little weight and hope that's OK."

Honestly, that was how the original post came across to me as well. I guess that's the problem with communicating on the internet- it's hard to make sure that everyone is looking at a situation the same way. I only have my own experience- that of someone who has been consistently overweight for most of her adult life- to use as a frame of reference. And I have had many uncomfortable exchanges with folks who tell me how fat they feel just so they can point out that they really aren't that fat at all.

When I stop and think about it, though, I can see how the OP might feel legitimately intimidated or like she might be judged.

Welcome to the group, Naturebeckles. And thanks to everyone who engaged constructively in this conversation for broadening my perspective.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your honesty.

UsedToBeHusky

You know what I found truly sad about this thread.

So many people wanted to be offended because of the wording of the OP's title, but very few offered anything helpful or relevant or welcoming to the OP.

Most introduction threads slip through ignored. We can do better MFP.

angelams1019

i think whenever someone comes in to a forum and says "ok so i'm actually different from the rest of you" it DOES sound somewhat elitist and the natural reaction from people is either "so what are you doing here" or "actually no, you aren't that special" Now add to that the very personal and difficult nature of weight and body image, and sorry but yes, a message like the one the OP posted is going to result in people "putting her in her place" so to speak.

MFP is a place where people come to get support. When someone of a healthy weight comes in and says "I'm different and I bet no one here understands me", well... lol yeah a girl like me who maxed out at 300 pounds isn't going to have as much sympathy as I would for someone of a healthy weight who says "I know I'm a healthy weight, but I'm just not happy, and I want to get fit"

Is it right? I can't say that. It is expected and pretty much basic human nature? yeah.

Well good for you that you are so miserable with yourself that you don't even TRY to sympathize with other peoples' difficulties that are different than yours. I didn't come in here saying I wasn't happy. I came in here because I'm having difficulty getting down to what I know is a healthy weight for ME. I'm not some anorexic model looking for sympathy. Now run along, troll. Don't you have somebody else to go tear down?

I'm not quite sure you understand what a troll is. I've seen you throw that word around. Someone saying something you don't agree with doesn't automatically make them a troll. Just sayin'

Capt_Inzane

Story isn't so far from others here and I'll think you'll hopefully find some awesome people that will help you on your fitness journey. I try not to look at this site as weight loss and instead think about fitness.

I got a personal trainer today and the first thing he asked is what was my goal. Get fit was my answer, I honestly don't know what weight I'll be when I hit that but that's how I feel but enough about me back to you.

I didn't read all the pages because some people never learned the saying "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all" ....

stupid people even thumper knew that.....

Welcome aboard and sorry for rambling..YouTube has fried meh brain.

LaurenAOK

I started at 145! So I feel you. I wasn't technically "overweight" but I wasn't happy with my body. And I had someone ask me if I was pregnant, too - that was when I KNEW I had to lose the weight.

I reached my goals and so can you - hang in there And just remember that like you said, sometimes the scale won't move but you'll lose inches and your clothes will start fitting better. The scale actually isn't a great measure of progress - as long as you're seeing and feeling the results, that's what counts!

Sabine_Stroehm

Your story is pretty much mine, minus the kids. That said, ignore the crank, and find like minded folks on here. There are many good folks. Find a few, friend them, and they'll be super supportive on your profile posts.

Best of luck!