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Should your S.O./Spouse have a say so if they feel you are too thin or too large?
Replies
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I enjoy your humorous side...you should let that shine a bit more....high five.heiliskrimsli wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »Yes. Be honest with your partners peeps.
Also fat people are bouncy, makes for good bam bam.
Fit people have stamina and endurance and flexibility. I'll take that over "bouncy".
Lies, i'm fit and i have none of those.
Then by what criteria are you fit?
Well i generally have a higher percentage of type 2 a & b they tend to tire more easily. After many years of cycling (and a tendency to use limited muscle groups that only contract concentrically) i have tight hip flexors so my flexibility isnt that great. Sure, i could work on it but...meh
In terms of fitness i have a pretty decent anaerobic threshold and a very good (amateur) vo2m. I can generally cycle 70odd miles no worries.
But we weren't talking about that were we penguin?
Oh, LOL. OK, you were talking about sex fitness, not fitness fitness...I see. You're fit in your chosen exercise, but you don't have stamina, endurance and flexibility in bed...I thought they went together, but I suppose that's not necessarily true for everyone.
Wait was he actually saying that he's a minuteman? Did that sail right over my head?
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The man has a point. There's plenty of fit girls out there who think their gods gift to men and that by just showing up to sex they're doing you a huuuge favor. Meanwhile a (pardon my phrasing) chubby girl might be more stoked to be at it.
The girls I date or hook up with are usualy pretty fit. But I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to think outside the box every now and then. The best ONS I ever had was with a girl who had 10 or so pounds on me.
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This thread is (thankfully?) going into the gutter
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The man has a point. There's plenty of fit girls out there who think their gods gift to men and that by just showing up to sex they're doing you a huuuge favor. Meanwhile a (pardon my phrasing) chubby girl might be more stoked to be at it.
The girls I date or hook up with are usualy pretty fit. But I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to think outside the box every now and then. The best ONS I ever had was with a girl who had 10 or so pounds on me.
So then a lot of fit girls just phone it in (because presumably they think they're so awesome they don't have to make an effort), while chubby girls (sounds like you're saying they're more desperate) are more eager to please in bed? I mean, I'm not saying this is true because I don't believe it's true, but that's kinda how it reads to me...
Maybe it is true. I don't even know. I've never been with any fit chicks, chubby chicks, or any chicks at all for that matter, so I don't really know... 1 -
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The man has a point. There's plenty of fit girls out there who think their gods gift to men and that by just showing up to sex they're doing you a huuuge favor. Meanwhile a (pardon my phrasing) chubby girl might be more stoked to be at it.
The girls I date or hook up with are usualy pretty fit. But I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to think outside the box every now and then. The best ONS I ever had was with a girl who had 10 or so pounds on me.
So then a lot of fit girls just phone it in (because presumably they think they're so awesome they don't have to make an effort), while chubby girls (sounds like you're saying they're more desperate) are more eager to please in bed? I mean, I'm not saying this is true because I don't believe it's true, but that's kinda how it reads to me...
Maybe it is true. I don't even know. I've never been with any fit chicks, chubby chicks, or any chicks at all for that matter, so I don't really know...
Well, the worst guys I've slept with (as in worst performing in regards to mutual pleasure) were the ones who were quite good-looking. And they obviously knew they were good looking.
The ones with the lowest self esteem (for whatever reason, perhaps not unattractive, but didn't feel good about themselves) were the most eager to have mutual satisfaction. I wouldn't say that they tried harder or were more stoked to be there, but they were interested in things beyond just making their deposit and running off to the shower.
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Katiebear_81 wrote: »The man has a point. There's plenty of fit girls out there who think their gods gift to men and that by just showing up to sex they're doing you a huuuge favor. Meanwhile a (pardon my phrasing) chubby girl might be more stoked to be at it.
The girls I date or hook up with are usualy pretty fit. But I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to think outside the box every now and then. The best ONS I ever had was with a girl who had 10 or so pounds on me.
So then a lot of fit girls just phone it in (because presumably they think they're so awesome they don't have to make an effort), while chubby girls (sounds like you're saying they're more desperate) are more eager to please in bed? I mean, I'm not saying this is true because I don't believe it's true, but that's kinda how it reads to me...
Maybe it is true. I don't even know. I've never been with any fit chicks, chubby chicks, or any chicks at all for that matter, so I don't really know...
Well, the worst guys I've slept with (as in worst performing in regards to mutual pleasure) were the ones who were quite good-looking. And they obviously knew they were good looking.
The ones with the lowest self esteem (for whatever reason, perhaps not unattractive, but didn't feel good about themselves) were the most eager to have mutual satisfaction. I wouldn't say that they tried harder or were more stoked to be there, but they were interested in things beyond just making their deposit and running off to the shower.
Okay, you answered this better than I could.....lol...
But yes, THIS!!!!
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Has this really devolved into who is better at sex?
Lol. Well, based on my experience, size really doesn't matter. What did matter was a combination of experience, generosity, and chemistry.6 -
Katiebear_81 wrote: »The man has a point. There's plenty of fit girls out there who think their gods gift to men and that by just showing up to sex they're doing you a huuuge favor. Meanwhile a (pardon my phrasing) chubby girl might be more stoked to be at it.
The girls I date or hook up with are usualy pretty fit. But I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to think outside the box every now and then. The best ONS I ever had was with a girl who had 10 or so pounds on me.
So then a lot of fit girls just phone it in (because presumably they think they're so awesome they don't have to make an effort), while chubby girls (sounds like you're saying they're more desperate) are more eager to please in bed? I mean, I'm not saying this is true because I don't believe it's true, but that's kinda how it reads to me...
Maybe it is true. I don't even know. I've never been with any fit chicks, chubby chicks, or any chicks at all for that matter, so I don't really know...
Well, the worst guys I've slept with (as in worst performing in regards to mutual pleasure) were the ones who were quite good-looking. And they obviously knew they were good looking.
The ones with the lowest self esteem (for whatever reason, perhaps not unattractive, but didn't feel good about themselves) were the most eager to have mutual satisfaction. I wouldn't say that they tried harder or were more stoked to be there, but they were interested in things beyond just making their deposit and running off to the shower.
Well that sounds pretty terrible. I wouldn't want to be with anyone like that. I guess I'm lucky. I haven't had many sexual partners, but the ones I've had were attractive, intelligent, confident, nice people who weren't selfish and inept in bed. Guess I've been lucky...There are plenty of horror stories out there!!!
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Has this really devolved into who is better at sex?
Lol. Well, based on my experience, size really doesn't matter. What did matter was a combination of experience, generosity, and chemistry.
Generosity! Great word. I think some people believe that they are being generous just by being present in the room. And I'm not saying that fit people are necessarily that way (there were two men I was thinking above in my previous post - one was fit and good looking, the other was not fit).0 -
Well to lighten the mood...and share girls locker room talk....
-Some of my fit friends think that they are so HOT that they don't have to do much work in the bedroom - it's like a priveledge to be with them - because they believe they are rare and men drool over them.
-Another fit friend believes you can't pull all the tricks out on the 1st or 2nd experience because it's a chance she might not want to endure or pursue a long term relationship with them and do not want them 'hooked' on her b/c the sex was so good.
-And a vast majority of my friends, regardless of size or fitness levels want to share pure magic with the men they love.3 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »Can we have a candid and respectful conversation about this subject? I read on here frequently that a S.O/spouse should love your regardless of your weight....but isn't a part of love being open and honest with a person?
I want to be clear....I don't think anyone should demand a person to gain or lose weight.
Yes. If that's their honest opinion they should feel free to voice it.0 -
Has this really devolved into who is better at sex?
Lol. Well, based on my experience, size really doesn't matter. What did matter was a combination of experience, generosity, and chemistry.
Because some people think fat equals unable to perform
Anyway I guess when interviewing new partners asking for performance stats is vital as well as obtaining their bmi upfront2 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
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Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
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In the very unlikely event this story is true, you are describing a marriage of convenience: I will put up with the partner I feel no attraction towards, so he/she can take care of me. Whatever...STLBADGIRL wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »Wow is that what you got out of that? What planet do you live on? You asked me what if they do not want to lose weight and you give them months and they don't lose weight but gain more weight...I shared with you a true story (never once in this whole thread did I state that a partner should keep his mouth shut - NEVER) My point is some people weight gain is a result of something else that manifest itself through extra weight. Deal with the root cause with the person YOU LOVE.
I asked you what then, and you told a story that had no resolution. Did the guy break up with her? Did she fix her issues? Did he just stop bringing it up? What actually happened?
Also, you can't fix someone else's "root cause" when they're lying to you about their own effort.
The point wasn't the resolution - I say that because there are many stories on here with a resolution and it didn't broaden your view...so I don't know why this time it would be different. The point I was making is that he paid all that money for PT's, gym memberships, and classes, when that wasn't the REAL issue. Once a person has a healthy mind, they can start being healthy in all other areas of their life.
But if you must know the resolution to the story. The husband found out he had an aggressive cancer and died within 3 months at the age of 33. Good thing he didn't dump her, because she took GOOD care of him in his final days, She was there for him when he couldn't walk a few steps away to use the bathroom, or bathe himself, or do something so simple as feed himself. She learned how to cook healthy foods for him because his diet had changed dramatically. She gave up the sweets and ate what he ate to support him b/c she knew that the new diet was adjustment for him. And although she lost her husband, she learned how to eat healthy and prepare her own meals and lost a great amount of weight.
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STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam."
I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
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STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 263 -
In the very unlikely event this story is true, you are describing a marriage of convenience: I will put up with the partner I feel no attraction towards, so he/she can take care of me. Whatever...STLBADGIRL wrote: »heiliskrimsli wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »Wow is that what you got out of that? What planet do you live on? You asked me what if they do not want to lose weight and you give them months and they don't lose weight but gain more weight...I shared with you a true story (never once in this whole thread did I state that a partner should keep his mouth shut - NEVER) My point is some people weight gain is a result of something else that manifest itself through extra weight. Deal with the root cause with the person YOU LOVE.
I asked you what then, and you told a story that had no resolution. Did the guy break up with her? Did she fix her issues? Did he just stop bringing it up? What actually happened?
Also, you can't fix someone else's "root cause" when they're lying to you about their own effort.
The point wasn't the resolution - I say that because there are many stories on here with a resolution and it didn't broaden your view...so I don't know why this time it would be different. The point I was making is that he paid all that money for PT's, gym memberships, and classes, when that wasn't the REAL issue. Once a person has a healthy mind, they can start being healthy in all other areas of their life.
But if you must know the resolution to the story. The husband found out he had an aggressive cancer and died within 3 months at the age of 33. Good thing he didn't dump her, because she took GOOD care of him in his final days, She was there for him when he couldn't walk a few steps away to use the bathroom, or bathe himself, or do something so simple as feed himself. She learned how to cook healthy foods for him because his diet had changed dramatically. She gave up the sweets and ate what he ate to support him b/c she knew that the new diet was adjustment for him. And although she lost her husband, she learned how to eat healthy and prepare her own meals and lost a great amount of weight.
Oh dear2 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
Yes, this thread has been entertaining...
I'm guessing that was probably meant to be more of an example (depending on the individual) and not really a hard line for everyone. For some people, 25 would be borderline overweight and for others it's still perfectly fit. For a few outliers, 24 might even be a little high. For example: My husband is fit and hot as hell (to me, anyway ) and his BMI is 25.8. The doctor says not to worry, though. He says my husband is athletic and muscular, so not to worry about BMI in his case. For me, though, my blood tests are showing bad things at a BMI of 23.5 (I've never been higher than that.) I have to stay around 20-22 to get all my tests out of the risk range, because I'm some kind of a genetic mutant. My doctor thinks my particular genes call for me to be more on the slim side - lower than average in body fat - to stay healthy.
Maybe there's too much of a focus on the BMI of 25, when that was (I think) just a hypothetical. And even if it wasn't, who am I to judge another person's standards? It doesn't even matter if you think about it. This whole thread is taking itself way too seriously...LOL.
*hugs for everyone*
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Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Obese is a BMI of 30 or greater. 25 is still only borderline overweight, and there's a lot of leeway given for athletes. I agree that BMI isn't the best indicator. Just simply eyeballing it and looking at a person's medical data will give you a much better idea. I don't think the "25 BMI" poster was thinking of an athlete when she wrote that. She was probably thinking more along the lines of a typical, getting to be rather out-of-shape kinda guy and wanting to nip that in the bud BEFORE it gets out of control and harder to manage. Some people DO tend to snowball after a certain point...I personally think 25 is kind of a little too soon to be packing bags, but I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned at that point. But that's just me. My opinion isn't any more or less valid than anybody else's.2 -
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If a S.O./spouse/partner is concerned about their partner's weight for health reasons, then absolutely, yes, I believe they have a say. That, to me, is love. If their concern is all about appearances, especially if it is how your appearance reflects on them personally, that is another question, and I don't want to go down that particular rabbit hole at this time.2
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If a S.O./spouse/partner is concerned about their partner's weight for health reasons, then absolutely, yes, I believe they have a say. That, to me, is love. If their concern is all about appearances, especially if it is how your appearance reflects on them personally, that is another question, and I don't want to go down that particular rabbit hole at this time.
Why not? Everybody else has... 3 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol11 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol
But it might be worth it? I'm guessing you wouldn't be leaving him any time soon... 4 -
I love it when it all gets down to athlete pics to "prove" that BMI does not work for us common people. The sad truth is that for most of us, at a BMI of 25 or even 24 or for many 23, we are not looking that good any more. The fact that there are lots of people in whatever country one might be who are very overweight, it really does not change anything.1
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Therealobi1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Hmmmm., it has been implied that only fit people have stamina, endurance and flexibility. It's been implied that fat people can't keep up in bed....Therealobi1 wrote: »
I didn't actually see anybody say that fat people couldn't perform sexually. It was rather that some people on the thread don't find fat people sexually attractive. Not everybody is sexually attracted to thin people, either, though. It's just a preference thing. We can like what we like. It's all good.
(I did, however, see people talking about fit people not being too great at it, mainly due to the naturally selfish and/or narcissistic qualities of attractive folks. And then there was that one guy who says he's fit and not that great in bed, but that could just be because he's worn himself out with all that cycling he's doing...)
^ That's what I saw. But I did see where it said "fat people are bouncy" and bouncy = "good bam bam." I did not infer from that statement that non-bouncy = bad "bam bam"... though perhaps one could?
Lol, not the bouncy bouncy one that's funny
Being overweight impacts performance in a negative way is the quote.
The amusing thing is over 25 is the magic number, am sure there are fit people at bmi 26
I think bmi is often a poor indicator of health regardless. Look at Uriah Hall. At 6' and 185 lbs his bmi comes out at 25.1 which is classified as obese.
Oh my he would definitely crush internal organs. Lol
But it might be worth it? I'm guessing you wouldn't be leaving him any time soon...
1
...even the skinny people. 
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