Weight Sabotage's or Bridezilla?
Replies
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Will you be thinner than her if you lose weight? Probably a jealousy issue...she wants to be the best looking girl in the room for her wedding...sighhh.
sounds about right....^^0 -
Honey keep doing you and getting healthy dont stop for anyone. This is one day for your sister and the rest of your life to be happy and healty.Do the dress fitting and when the time comes take it back and get it altered you deserve to be happy and look you best and show us those pictures when the time comes best wishes to you0
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are you saying the drapey neckline from the bottom to go on the dress on the top?
your sister is officially crazy. they are two different materials. One is flimsy and drapey the other is not. It will not work on the above dress. Both dresses are ugly. GTFO of the wedding. Do my second plan of weaseling your way back in at the last minute to avoid family shame. Choose the classiest version of whatever color she has chosen. Smile sweetly, stand tall, gift generously. The end.0 -
drape necks show cleavage, especially the unintentional kind when you have to bend over - you end up flashing everyone in the room.
The fact that the Bridezilla can't find a single dress that's already been created by someone out there in the entire huge world that she is satisfied with - she thinks she has to design her own dress - shows that no one, even all the fashion designers in the world put together, can satisfy her. Bridezilla is going to hate the finished bridesmaid dresses herself, even though she doesn't realize it yet.0 -
Like she absolutely positively couldn't use any of these drape-neck satin dresses:
David's has one for $140
http://www.polyvore.com/davids_bridal_sleeveless_stretch_satin/thing?id=87500015
http://www.polyvore.com/aidan_mattox_cocktail_dress_sleeveless/thing?id=83808930
http://www.polyvore.com/allen_schwartz_vintage_vanilla_satin/thing?id=762606880 -
Get the dress, she's right about the matching dye (I was a bridesmaid and this was an issue with one girl getting a dress at a different time, it was ever so slightly lighter than everyone else's). BUT plan on getting it altered to fit before the wedding. You're not altering the style, you're just going to have it taken in, so it's none of her business whether you're a size 14 or a size 6 at her wedding, as long as the dress is the right one and it fits you've done your job.
As someone else said, I'm sure it's partly a jealousy thing. If you lose weight before her wedding people will notice you looking good in a dress. She'll have to suck it up.
And, for the record, that dress is the ugliest thing I've ever seen!0 -
If you're paying for the dress and taking it home w you, there's no need to ask her about taking the dress to get it taken in. You just go . Easy peasy.
Exactly. If you've paid for it, taking it in isn't her business unless you add wings and chop and it ultra mini
Having a tantrum about someone wanting to look good in the wedding pictures is retarded. She obviously doens't want anyone to look better than her if she's making you wear a hideous dress and complaining about you wanting to get healthy and lose weight.
Definitely Bridezilla.0 -
Do what you said..... get the dress in your current size since you wont know exactly what size you will be when the wedding actually gets here. In any event, you would probably have to get the dress altered.
DONT let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
ETA - Your sister sounds like a total BRAT. I wouldn't go out of my way to reinforce her behavior.
I think this is sound advice, but I'd also I've to add that you Do not need to keep her informed on ur plans to alter since you're paying for it anyway.
P. S. I think you're making the best decision in your life to move towards a healthier lifestyle0 -
- the model doesn't even look good in that
- your sister is certifiable
- but, if you're not the disowning type, & you believe blood is thicker than water (or crazy) etc, and/or your actions in re being a bridesmaid might impact people in your family whom you love and who are not crazy (maybe mom?), i would say, do with your body and life what you will under the protection of the constitution (if american, geneva convention if it's in doubt in your country). & do the min required to play along, just stay completely out of every decision. the $200 is a writeoff, just part of the many costs people who marry impose on other people0 -
OK, wow. That's just bizarre. I wonder if her fiance has told her something especially flattering about you, or even something not so flattering about her, and she's taking out her insecurities on you?After apparently my sister chucked a tantrum saying i'll have to also now buy a suit jacket to wear over the dress as she doesn't want me showing off any cleavage.0 -
Best thread ever.
Personally, I would have an honest chat with my sister and find out about her stresses etc. She is probably having a horrible time and being horrible to you in turn. Insecurity is painful.
THEN I would tell her to show me a swatch and I'll go buy a dress in that colour. I would buy one without too much boob and doesn't make me look TOO hot because its still her wedding.0 -
I've never understood why brides think they are doing you such an honor by asking you to be in their wedding. At the best it's an inconvenience and at worst it's a horrible financial burden.0
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What the last poster said
Just get the dress at your current size and get it readjusted once it's wedding time. She can't boss you around like that lol.. Don't feel guilty at all, it is your body and if you want to get healthy now do it now. It will probably make an awesome inspirational picture for you to wear the dress now and an after picture with it the correct size of your beautiful healthy body!
^this
Don't let her try and dictate your HEALTH. She is NOT being reasonable to want you not to lose weight. if she tries to guilt you, it's on her not you. that's the type of thing I'd pull a hissy fit on and say fine, get someone else.0 -
can't you just buy the material and have it made 3 months before the wedding?0
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The way she's going, she might just alienate her fiancé before the wedding! Why do people do this? My one sister eloped, the other one had an enormous wedding at a mansion (she married into a wealthy family).
Her day had to be PERFECT. I wasn't an attendant. She had her rich, skiinny girlfriends for that.
The day of the wedding, it rained torrentially, the church caught on fire and her beautiful Lilly arrangements got mixed up with pink carnations.
It still makes me smile. :happy:0 -
Haven't read the responses but she's a bridezilla and all she needs to do is pick a colour that suits you, choose the material and run around with a swatch.0
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Weddings can really bring out the catty in some women. I've heard all sorts of stories where supposedly someone upstaged the bride by looking impressive in some way.
I wouldn't sweat it. My maid of honor was my bridezilla at MY wedding. Ugh, what a train wreck but whatever.
I would continue as you are and have the dress altered when the time is appropriate. However, I don't think I would confront her and put my foot down....I would do what I needed to do on the DL and try to be nice to her in whatever way you can to keep the peace....she IS your sister after all even if wedding stress, real or imagined, has sapped her brain. :drinker:0 -
I'm with the other posters on this - you have to do what's right for you. Personally I'd wait for her to calm down and then talk to her, outlining the fact that what she said was hurtful and then maintaining just what you've said: that you're going to continue your journey into health, that it's important to you and as your sister it should be important to her.
Some things are worth sticking to, I'm sure she's just feeling pressurised to be "perfect" on her wedding day, is stressed about the whole thing and it's related issues and may well have concerns about you that she's not voicing - maybe she thinks you're perfect as you are.
Good luck!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Hi
My daughter aged 15 has never been a bridesmaid but has been asked by her cousin to be one in August 2014. My niece wanted to get her bridesmaid dresses a couple of months ago as the ones she wanted were in a sale and heavily discounted. I was quite concerned as my daughter is still growing (and developing) and I have no idea whether she would be the same size / shape next year. My niece got my daughter to try on a dress slightly too big for her and then ordered the size above that saying that she didn't want my daughter to turn into a nervous wreck trying to maintain her weight / size for over a year and that she would pay to have it altered to fit nearer the time.
I thank god that I have a rational niece, can't your mum intervene on your behalf???0 -
Stand your ground. You are doing the right thing and if your sister has problems with it, it is her issue not yours. Do not let her make you feel responsible for her stuff. She is all focused on her wedding and wanting it to be perfect, etc. and I can understand that, but seriously, wanting you to stop doing what you are doing to please her... just not OK. Hopefully she will get over this, but if she doesn't.. it is her choice not yours and you have done nothing wrong. You are taking care of you and that is not be selfish, it is being wise.0
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Hi, im getting married also in 13 months and there is no way I would get my 2 bridesmaids dresses until April/may of next year, there is no point and both would kill me as they are both dieting for there own reasons as well as the wedding, to which I support them fully. to me it sounds like she is trying to control you and personally if her attitude is like this now I would rethink being her bridesmaid.
Getting married and organising a wedding is very stressful so I do feel for her there. Have you thought that by you being determined to lose weight before her wedding that she may feel you might take some of the focus away from her? just a thought. Good luck with whatever you do, but what ever that is make it right for you0 -
Get the dress and then alter it.
Weddings bring out the worse in some women , they get so caught up in this fantasy wedding and forget about the most important thing like the marriage and focusing in blending both families.
I don't understand the fear of some brides of being upstaged , YOU ARE THE BRIDE no one is going to miss you. You are wearing a white dress and are one of two people who is going to be constantly in the spotlight that night doing all of the wedding traditions.
The only time people ignore the Bride is when she has a nasty attitude and nobody can stand her.
Is a wedding , the world does not stop moving just because you are getting marry. People have lives and things to do , weddings are only stressful if you want them to be. People don't have time for your insecurities or the crazy demands that only make send in your head.0 -
Do what you said..... get the dress in your current size since you wont know exactly what size you will be when the wedding actually gets here. In any event, you would probably have to get the dress altered.
DONT let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
ETA - Your sister sounds like a total BRAT. I wouldn't go out of my way to reinforce her behavior.
I was a bride and never acted like this. i agree with this ^^ post very much and if she is losing her temper over a stupid dress that you didn't even get to choose she can go kick rocks. when you look back on a wedding(yours or not) the LAST thing you should remember was how snotty the bride was jeez. lol0 -
And she went off the handles asking me why i cant wait until after her wedding to lose weight, telling me i'm stupid and it's a waste of time and money and i should just be happy that i get to be her bridesmaid.
bwahahahaha!
Is she always like this?I mean does she have a manipulative, egoistic personality or is she just off the deep end because of the wedding?
I see several options
1) give her the alternatives and stick to it
2) drop it.
3) say "yes" to everything, keep loosing weight and have the dress alterered before the wedding. Don't even tell her about it.
Depending on your family situation, I would probably opt for the third.
I was a bridesmaid once and I have to say never again. Too much drama and BS, not worth my time.
ETA: this:DON'T let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.0 -
I'd use it as an incentive to be really healthy looking and slim for the wedding. Really piss her off.0
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I think it would be funny to buy the dress, lose the weight and don't get it altered. You'd have to live with looking a little weird at the wedding, but your sister would be furious and it might be worth it!0
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I think she's just jealous that people will be talking about your awesome weight loss at the wedding and take away from them talking about her0
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And she went off the handles asking me why i cant wait until after her wedding to lose weight, telling me i'm stupid and it's a waste of time and money and i should just be happy that i get to be her bridesmaid.
bwahahahaha!
Is she always like this?I mean does she have a manipulative, egoistic personality or is she just off the deep end because of the wedding?
I see several options
1) give her the alternatives and stick to it
2) drop it.
3) say "yes" to everything, keep loosing weight and have the dress alterered before the wedding. Don't even tell her about it.
Depending on your family situation, I would probably opt for the third.
I was a bridesmaid once and I have to say never again. Too much drama and BS, not worth my time.
ETA: this:DON'T let her bully you into staying the same weight. YOU are paying for the dress. Lose the weight, get the dress altered and look awesome. If she doesn't like it, tell her to find another bridesmaid.
She's always been like this. She'd tell my parents i'm not allowed to have certain clothing, shoes or go out ect. She would seriously argue with them. When I was 12 and I already had C cups and she grow up not even reaching a B in her mid 20's (Being 12 years older then me) She was still living at home and my mother mentioned needing to go bra shopping as the training bra tank tops weren't going to hold for much longer and my sister went into a total psycho tantrum about how she didn't get her first bra until she was 15 and it was unfair and that I should have to wait.
Accept I was a C cup and my breasts were being an uncomfortable problem. It's not like I was going to victoria's secrets to get a push up, padded lace bra...I just need some support so I could play netball without my boobs hurting. Good thing too as by 15, I was a 12DD. I guess that would be the issue with not showing cleavage. I'm sitting at a 32E now with a 76cm waist. It's noticeable in a bad way, though you'd think, she'd think that i'd surely lose some breast as I've got 55-60lbs to go.
But I really don't understand the concern or why there'd be any jealousy. She's an ex model, she's a typical 5'7 super thin, blonde, with a pretty face and i'm a 5'3 overweight dolly parton with a forehead the size of texas. There's really no competition. She's going to look amazing no matter what and she knows it. The bride always looks beautiful and they really have nothing to worry about. I'm down 30lbs and she's seen me at my healthiest which was 115lbs. So idk. Basically i'm going to drop another 6-8 sizes in the next 6 months. My weight loss will be completed a good half a year away from the wedding. So I really don't know what her problem is.0 -
I'd use it as an incentive to be really healthy looking and slim for the wedding. Really piss her off.
This^^
and then get the dress altered.0 -
Text her and tell her to order you a size 2 because you plan on losing a lot of weight, see what happens :P
All kidding aside, your sister is being unreasonable and this is no doubt because she's jealous. My sister and I are both losing weight together and there is NO WAY I could imagine ever saying that to her. Wouldn't you want your sister to be healthy?!? wtf?0
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