Ladies, would you let your boyfriend or husband go to the stripclub?

MiloBloom83

yelliezx wrote: »

Helllll no! I would not have some skank grinding up on my husband.

Hey! That "skank" is someone's daughter!

Strippers are some of the nicest girls i've ever met. And the one's that are successful work damn hard.

VeryKatie

I consider it cheating (a mild form of cheating) - not something trivial, but I tell him this and tell him that its up to him. So there are times he chooses to go and times he chooses not to. I can't control his life. I might change my answer after we have children. And I understand that his rationale is that he doesn't want to miss out on good friends' bachelor parties (once in a lifetime party for each guy), that he's not the one planning the parties, and he never goes unless it's a bachelor party and even then, he has skipped that part for a not so close friend. So for us... it's kind of one of those limbo things where neither of us are comfortable but sometimes we feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. He doesn't lie about it though.

That being said I don't get as upset as I would if he were to have sex with someone else or to make out with someone else. And I do trust that even if he's going and looking, that he's not getting lap dances... and I actually do believe him when he says he finds strip clubs uncomfortable. Hence why I feel it's milder. I would never end our relationship over it. But I'd also not end a relationship for "full" cheating (at this point - married and a baby on the way. If he cheated before we were married it would be different).

But in the end you have to decide for you if it's a deal breaker or not. If you tell him that it's the lie that matters most to you and that it's really bothering you, then give him a chance to fess up, that's the course of action I would take. At that point, if he still says he didn't go... you have to decide whether you actually believe and trust him or not. If you don't trust him about his claims... do you trust him about everything else? Enough to stay with him? Long term relationships require a lot of trust.

EddieHaskell97

You want him to visit you at work, OP?

PackPariah

I feel your pain. My wife won't stop dragging me to strip clubs. I'm like b*tch I am poor, plus that is why the internet was invented.

bigmuneymfp

I'm not into strip clubs

laurenebargar

VeryKatie wrote: »

I consider it cheating (a mild form of cheating) - not something trivial, but I tell him this and tell him that its up to him. So there are times he chooses to go and times he chooses not to. I can't control his life. I might change my answer after we have children. And I understand that his rationale is that he doesn't want to miss out on good friends' bachelor parties (once in a lifetime party for each guy). So for us... it's kind of one of those limbo things where neither of us are comfortable but sometimes we feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

That being said I don't get as upset as I would if he were to have sex with someone else or to make out with someone else. And I do trust that even if he's going and looking, that he's not getting lap dances... and I actually do believe him when he says he finds strip clubs uncomfortable. Hence why I feel it's milder. I would never end our relationship over it. But I'd also not end a relationship for "full" cheating (at this point - married and a baby on the way. If he cheated before we were married it would be different).

But in the end you have to decide for you if it's a deal breaker or not.

This exactly is my husband and I, however so far there hasnt been any actually going to strip clubs while we have been together he went before we started dating, said he never enjoyed it, plus we dont have the money to be wasting it at a strip club right now. But we are both still under 25 so there will be bachelor parties in the future, and we will approach it again then.

SpotLighttt

RunHardBeStrong wrote: »

LittleHearseDriver wrote: »

SpotLighttt wrote: »

You might be okay with it, which is why I am now dubious about your claim of being "clean" but I certainly would prefer he showered first before getting into bed. Of course it's a preference and I cant force anything on him.

Agreed - some make lots of money but I am not jealous as it's not of my interest.

Making a cheap shot at someone's personal hygiene speaks volumes about you.

Exactly.

To @SpotLighttt you know absolutely nothing about me. Look who is making blanket assumptions now. Nice try though.

so why attack me and the other poster.

Would you prefer that your o/h showers after a night out at the strip club?

T0M_K

abitoftrouble wrote: »

I'm a stripper and I am clean as hell

do you KiK ? jus wondering

animatorswearbras

If it's a stag do sure, but if he's just going to a strip club for a night out that's a bit too creepy and lecherous for me to feel comfortable in a relationship personally. I'd drop something from 2 years ago though if he hasn't done it since, people make mistakes and just tell him that strip clubs are not something you're cool with in the future. Holding on to something like that if you want to stay together will just build resentment for both of you and screw your relationship.

gamerbabe14

lstrat115 wrote: »

Some of this is highly offensive. It has been awhile, but a couple years back I stripped to pay the bills. I was a single mom and some crazy crap went down and then my company went out of business. I needed money, fast. Stripping makes cash. You don't have to wait 3 weeks for the first check, etc.
One night a guy came in and told me how miserable he was in his relationship and that he was afraid his girlfriend was stalking him, checking his computer, his phone, even looking at the GPS in his car to see where he had gone. He said that the lack of trust made him crazy and that he just needed a night to get away from her. Poor guy

Irony!

SpotLighttt

tmanfromtexas wrote: »

I can understand why he denies going. Obviously he knew you would lose your shyte over it and throw it in his face for years to come. Oh snap he must have been right because you come here two years later asking opinions of it. I wonder what else he hasnt fessed up to heheh.

OR, it would have been buried in the mud there and then but because he planted the seed of doubt, it's been convulating in here head and made things worse over the years.


Don't make her out to be some sort of pyscho.

SpotLighttt

LittleHearseDriver wrote: »

SpotLighttt wrote: »

woah woah woah

At no point did I say they are not people or imply as such or make any derogatory comments about the profession in itself.

You jumped to a whole host of conclusions.

ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself for categorizing me or shall I say isolating me for no reason whatsoever.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. You're the one who called another poster unclean.

Nope, I said Im dubious because she insulted me for finding a sweat inducing activity gross.

So yes, you and your bias are also stinky.

HazyEyes93

I would go with him. Everyone likes looking a pretty ladies. Plus, pole dancing is pretty impressive and takes a lot of work.

ew_david

We've gone together *shrug*

kenzienal

VeryKatie wrote: »

I consider it cheating (a mild form of cheating) - not something trivial, but I tell him this and tell him that its up to him. So there are times he chooses to go and times he chooses not to. I can't control his life. I might change my answer after we have children. And I understand that his rationale is that he doesn't want to miss out on good friends' bachelor parties (once in a lifetime party for each guy). So for us... it's kind of one of those limbo things where neither of us are comfortable but sometimes we feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

That being said I don't get as upset as I would if he were to have sex with someone else or to make out with someone else. And I do trust that even if he's going and looking, that he's not getting lap dances... and I actually do believe him when he says he finds strip clubs uncomfortable. Hence why I feel it's milder. I would never end our relationship over it. But I'd also not end a relationship for "full" cheating (at this point - married and a baby on the way. If he cheated before we were married it would be different).

But in the end you have to decide for you if it's a deal breaker or not.

I totally agree with 99% of this.

My boyfriend has been to strip clubs. They make me totally uncomfortable, as does PDA. Personal preference and I am a very private person. My boyfriend is similar, he doesn't like PDA either, and apparently only goes to a strip club when its a bachelor party, and sits alone at the bar. Whether thats true? Don't know, going off his word. I feel comfortable enough in my relationship to trust his word.

This year we both are in the same wedding, so he will be on a bachelor party which Im sure will end at a strip club. I will be on vacation with the girls for 4 days. Will I be upset if he goes to a strip club? Yes. Im insecure. Will I be angry with him and mad at him for it, or even say anything to him about being upset? No, its for a bachelor party and he never does it otherwise. I trust him. I trust he will keep his hands to himself, and not let them touch all over him.


On the other hand, if my boyfriend continuously lied to me about something, even after I knew it was a lie, I would definitely dump him. Lying, no matter what its about, is never okay. Sorry not sorry.

SpotLighttt

lstrat115 wrote: »

Some of this is highly offensive. It has been awhile, but a couple years back I stripped to pay the bills. I was a single mom and some crazy crap went down and then my company went out of business. I needed money, fast. Stripping makes cash. You don't have to wait 3 weeks for the first check, etc.
One night a guy came in and told me how miserable he was in his relationship and that he was afraid his girlfriend was stalking him, checking his computer, his phone, even looking at the GPS in his car to see where he had gone. He said that the lack of trust made him crazy and that he just needed a night to get away from her. Poor guy

and so you relieved his frustration? Im not being condescending but is that what you did?
do you think you helped the relationship in any way?

TeamScorpioRI

Strip clubs are normally no big deal. Great, a bunch of naked ladies that you can't touch dancing infront of you... woo hoo! I see more boob if my band plays at a college.

Get over it, move on. If you can't then break up.