Maybe my husband is attracted to bigger women???

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  • jlmakela
    jlmakela Posts: 11 Member
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    first talk to him. I think us women see ourselves as beautiful or not based on our husbands response. He needs to know how important that is. But put it in a positive frame. "when you look at me and your eyes bug out, that makes me feel..."
    second, consider it may not be your physical body but something else. Yes a hot body is a turn on, but is there something that is a turn off? I once heard you should say something affirming to your husband every day. try that. he knowing you find him sexy or just good husband and father may be a turn on. (It works.)
    third, consider that you focus on image might be a form of nagging. "why don't you find me sexy" "why don't you look at me?" nagging is not sexy, ever.
    fourth, show him how your body has changed. Buy something revealing, sexy, or whatever his turn on is. Then don't say anything. Just show him, preferably after the kids are asleep.
    last, find out what turns him on. ask him. or lacking that, experiment until something does.

    good luck
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Also, like other people mentioned, I suppose there is a possibility for it to be his insecurity about your new confidence and attention.

    I remember when I was younger and I had a bit of low self-esteem, that a boyfriend's aunt said that I had a very exotic, unique type of beauty. She started to elaborate and he stopped her. He said that he didn't want that to go to my head. Really, that was not a concern. I did not think that way about myself and could have used some compliments (it meant a lot to me).
  • Maddius
    Maddius Posts: 78 Member
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    G'day You, first off, you look fantastic BUT You need to Feel it.

    If you've forever done the changing in another room, wearing sweats to bed, not initiating couple time or even flirtatious behaviour, this is your first goal to firstly acknowledge and then Do. If you don't know how, I'm sure the net and youtube will have the tools and info to educate you. Intimacy, coupleness, foreplay and even shared sexual innuendo within the confines of your marriage is sooo important. Ditch whatever non sexy lingerie you own, there's a lot of classy, sexy, stylish and comfortable lingerie out there these days and you need to wear it for yourself prior to your husband, remember what I said about you need to Feel it, find the Goddess within, all you ladies have it. Don't continue to deny your sensuality, you're missing out on so much.

    Now to your husband, I'm thinking he doesn't know what to say, think or do, so he's floundering and you're misinterpreting this as him not being interested. Btw, I'm confident that's not the case, but if for years you've been denying sensuality in your lives by changing in separate rooms etc. and that situation is still evident and he's complied with your feelings on that. His desire is to go down the pathway you want, it really is, but you have to encourage it and not just once or twice. Make it a part of the new you, the real behavioural changes may in fact need to come from you first.

    Us guys are pretty simplistic creatures, if a woman uses the right words, or gives us the right signs, you ladies have the power to get us blokes to do 'almost' anything. I know my Beloved utilises her abilities on me constantly and I applaud it. It's Fun and sexy, we're well into our 50's and both of us have very healthy libidos. Try not to think too much about the negatives, focus on what you want and have an open and honest discussion of what you're both feeling and wanting.

    The kids, we've all got them, we all love them, but unwittingly they can destroy couple time, as a priority you both need to factor in a w/e away, where it's only about you two.

    Best of luck.