That's poor form
MrStabbems
Posts: 3,110 Member
I was talking to someone today who told me that sharing the fact that you've done a good deed is poor form. That essentially you shouldn't do it, it's bragging, it's narcissistic.
Well *kitten* that. I mowed my neighbours lawn today because they're busy with 3 kids and I was doing mine so hell why not? Does it feel good? Yes. Am I showing off my good deed? Sure.
Some people are inspired by good deeds, some get ideas from other peeps good deeds, some folks just think hey should do that as well. Ultimately more good *kitten* gets done and if you're one of those folks that can see the negative in a good deed, well *kitten* you *kitten*!
So what good deeds have you done? past and present. Let's hear em, brag all you want!
Well *kitten* that. I mowed my neighbours lawn today because they're busy with 3 kids and I was doing mine so hell why not? Does it feel good? Yes. Am I showing off my good deed? Sure.
Some people are inspired by good deeds, some get ideas from other peeps good deeds, some folks just think hey should do that as well. Ultimately more good *kitten* gets done and if you're one of those folks that can see the negative in a good deed, well *kitten* you *kitten*!
So what good deeds have you done? past and present. Let's hear em, brag all you want!
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Why just this morning I rescued a cat from a tree, helped a little old lady across the street and gave a certain MFP member here the best sex she's ever had.
Top that, suckers!!7 -
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Actually I kind of agree with the other person. I've always thought that in order to be truly altruistic that you should get no joy out of your sacrifice. That includes a pat on the back and even the warm fuzzy feeling.6
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I like hearing people share the good things they have done to help others. It doesn't matter to me if they did it just to help someone or if they did it for the purpose of sharing. Either way another person's life was positively impacted with no expectation of repayment.12
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I leave sticky notes in library books, like bad jokes or just "have a good day".
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_har_T_Swallow wrote: »hauled away some junk for this old guy who lives in my building the other day.
This something I can do, maybe on a smaller scale when taking out the bins for collection. I don't always take my elderly neighbours but probably should!SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »I leave sticky notes in library books, like bad jokes or just "have a good day".
You vandal! 0 -
@_har_T_Swallow wrote: »hauled away some junk for this old guy who lives in my building the other day.
Nah, not good enough.
Next!0 -
I once paid for a lady's cheese at the dollar store. She was two people ahead of me in line and was trying to buy a pack of cheese slices. Apparently she didn't have enough money. She left the cheese on the counter and went back to her car to look for more change. When it way my turn to check out, I bought her cheese for her.5
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Let someone pay for my lunch.
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Monday I found a puppy/dog running around at side of road, no collar, but looked well looked after I knocked on a door and they didn't know whose it was so took it home, called council and eventfully local dog warden collected it. Turns out it had escaped from garden a few roads away and I am sure it would have been run over if I didn't stop.
This good deed was not without ramifications however as had a very upset 2 year old who didn't understand why we couldn't keep it.5 -
I feel like a true act of kindness doesn't NEED to be shared. If you do something for the sole purpose that you can go tell other people you did it then it isn't for the right reasons. I suppose you still did something good for another person, but it sure wasn't selfless.
If you are using your good deed to set an example for someone else then that may be different. Just seems like people should want to do good things just for the sake of doing good things.
Also, I really hoped this thread was about someone quarter squatting. Way to disappoint, A
That's what the videos were for L!
Also I agree to some extent, no you shouldn't do stuff just to brag about it and mowing a lawn isn't inspirational but im hoping some of the other stuff just gives ppl that second thought. maybe I should do xyz.
Can't be a bad thing right?3 -
I disagree with the concept that sharing is bad form. Blasting it on FB every time you do a good deed? Okay, that's a little much. But bringing it up in conversation with friends or S.O. is fine. You're right, it does make you feel good!
Recently I was in Wawa and the kids in front of me had some food/drinks and when they went to pay they didn't have enough so they took off a Coke and a yogurt. They looked disappointed and when they went to walk away I was like, "Hey! Let me get that for you!" They looked so shy and said thank you, but you could tell they appreciated it.6 -
peaceout_aly wrote: »I disagree with the concept that sharing is bad form. Blasting it on FB every time you do a good deed? Okay, that's a little much. But bringing it up in conversation with friends or S.O. is fine. You're right, it does make you feel good!
Recently I was in Wawa and the kids in front of me had some food/drinks and when they went to pay they didn't have enough so they took off a Coke and a yogurt. They looked disappointed and when they went to walk away I was like, "Hey! Let me get that for you!" They looked so shy and said thank you, but you could tell they appreciated it.
I hear about this quite a lot. folks paying for other peeps dinners at restaurants etc when they see its a birthday or celebration/proposal etc is another one. I like it and would do It more if I was allowed out after curfew2 -
MrStabbems wrote: »I feel like a true act of kindness doesn't NEED to be shared. If you do something for the sole purpose that you can go tell other people you did it then it isn't for the right reasons. I suppose you still did something good for another person, but it sure wasn't selfless.
If you are using your good deed to set an example for someone else then that may be different. Just seems like people should want to do good things just for the sake of doing good things.
Also, I really hoped this thread was about someone quarter squatting. Way to disappoint, A
That's what the videos were for L!
Also I agree to some extent, no you shouldn't do stuff just to brag about it and mowing a lawn isn't inspirational but im hoping some of the other stuff just gives ppl that second thought. maybe I should do xyz.
Can't be a bad thing right?
I get your point. I feel like if I give examples I am being the person I am fighting against, but I will say this..... I do good deeds on the regular. IF it came up in conversation and was relevant to something maybe I would say it. Here is my bigger point though..... Doing a good deed should be as common as tying your shoes, brushing your teeth, eating your lunch, breathing! Do you go tell people that you decided to take a breath today?
Unfortunately this is not the kind of world we live in. People don't do good as often as they should. It should be second nature and it sadly is not.
We can only do our best to change this L! and raise the little L's and A's to do the same.0 -
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A few weeks back i took the fall for a mistake at work because the lady that made it was under a lot.of pressure from bosses. It may or may not have been the right thing to do in the long run but it felt right at the time. I did ask that she doesn't make the mistake again mind!MrStabbems wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »I feel like a true act of kindness doesn't NEED to be shared. If you do something for the sole purpose that you can go tell other people you did it then it isn't for the right reasons. I suppose you still did something good for another person, but it sure wasn't selfless.
If you are using your good deed to set an example for someone else then that may be different. Just seems like people should want to do good things just for the sake of doing good things.
Also, I really hoped this thread was about someone quarter squatting. Way to disappoint, A
That's what the videos were for L!
Also I agree to some extent, no you shouldn't do stuff just to brag about it and mowing a lawn isn't inspirational but im hoping some of the other stuff just gives ppl that second thought. maybe I should do xyz.
Can't be a bad thing right?
I get your point. I feel like if I give examples I am being the person I am fighting against, but I will say this..... I do good deeds on the regular. IF it came up in conversation and was relevant to something maybe I would say it. Here is my bigger point though..... Doing a good deed should be as common as tying your shoes, brushing your teeth, eating your lunch, breathing! Do you go tell people that you decided to take a breath today?
Unfortunately this is not the kind of world we live in. People don't do good as often as they should. It should be second nature and it sadly is not.
We can only do our best to change this L! and raise the little L's and A's to do the same.
Which is where I would suggest to lead by example and let them see you do it, but you have already mentioned that you don't agree with this theory when raising kids.
remind me what I said? I cant remember for the life of me!
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MrStabbems wrote: »A few weeks back i took the fall for a mistake at work because the lady that made it was under a lot.of pressure from bosses. It may or may not have been the right thing to do in the long run but it felt right at the time. I did ask that she doesn't make the mistake again mind!MrStabbems wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »I feel like a true act of kindness doesn't NEED to be shared. If you do something for the sole purpose that you can go tell other people you did it then it isn't for the right reasons. I suppose you still did something good for another person, but it sure wasn't selfless.
If you are using your good deed to set an example for someone else then that may be different. Just seems like people should want to do good things just for the sake of doing good things.
Also, I really hoped this thread was about someone quarter squatting. Way to disappoint, A
That's what the videos were for L!
Also I agree to some extent, no you shouldn't do stuff just to brag about it and mowing a lawn isn't inspirational but im hoping some of the other stuff just gives ppl that second thought. maybe I should do xyz.
Can't be a bad thing right?
I get your point. I feel like if I give examples I am being the person I am fighting against, but I will say this..... I do good deeds on the regular. IF it came up in conversation and was relevant to something maybe I would say it. Here is my bigger point though..... Doing a good deed should be as common as tying your shoes, brushing your teeth, eating your lunch, breathing! Do you go tell people that you decided to take a breath today?
Unfortunately this is not the kind of world we live in. People don't do good as often as they should. It should be second nature and it sadly is not.
We can only do our best to change this L! and raise the little L's and A's to do the same.
Which is where I would suggest to lead by example and let them see you do it, but you have already mentioned that you don't agree with this theory when raising kids.
remind me what I said? I cant remember for the life of me!
Oh hell are you going to make me search through all this nonsense to find it?
I mentioned that a lot of us wouldn't want our family or kids or bosses knowing what we said or did here or other places in life and that I don't always do a great job of leading by example and you said that a parent shouldn't have to. That is paraphrasing a lot.
I vaguely remember this. I do agree that parents shouldn't have to lead by example because the kid should be their own individual and have their own values but when they're young and you're teaching them the basics it would be useful to lead by example if you can. But not have them bound by it.1 -
well shoot. This makes me feel like I need to go out and do some do-gooding.2
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I'm always looking to help out a stranger or do a random good deed.
..... well, that is, if there's something in it for me.3 -
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I think it's equally noticeable when "good deeds" are more of an inconvenience. Like when you hold the door for someone who is way too far away and they have to do a little trot so you're not just standing there. Or when you get caught up in dreadful "pay it forward" shenanigans at the starbucks drive-thru when you've only ordered a tall house coffee, but the car behind you ordered 4 dessert drinks and breakfast.4
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I think it's equally noticeable when "good deeds" are more of an inconvenience. Like when you hold the door for someone who is way too far away and they have to do a little trot so you're not just standing there. Or when you get caught up in dreadful "pay it forward" shenanigans at the starbucks drive-thru when you've only ordered a tall house coffee, but the car behind you ordered 4 dessert drinks and breakfast.
whats the concept of "pay it forward"? i see it mentioned in a thread the other day0 -
I told this ugly person they looked good.
Only kicked my dog once, and it wasn't as hard as usual.
Let that one idiot who wanted to cut in front of me and drive like a azz in, so I could ride up and almost hit him.
Ya know, philanthropic stuff like that.6 -
MrStabbems wrote: »I think it's equally noticeable when "good deeds" are more of an inconvenience. Like when you hold the door for someone who is way too far away and they have to do a little trot so you're not just standing there. Or when you get caught up in dreadful "pay it forward" shenanigans at the starbucks drive-thru when you've only ordered a tall house coffee, but the car behind you ordered 4 dessert drinks and breakfast.
whats the concept of "pay it forward"? i see it mentioned in a thread the other day
it just means one good deed leads to another....
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Actually I kind of agree with the other person. I've always thought that in order to be truly altruistic that you should get no joy out of your sacrifice. That includes a pat on the back and even the warm fuzzy feeling.
That's true, but is it really that important to be "truly altruistic?" Can't it be enough to be helpful and kind?3 -
@kschwab0203 wrote: »I once paid for a lady's cheese at the dollar store. She was two people ahead of me in line and was trying to buy a pack of cheese slices. Apparently she didn't have enough money. She left the cheese on the counter and went back to her car to look for more change. When it way my turn to check out, I bought her cheese for her.
Nope.
Next!!!2 -
Whenever I go to the grocery store, if I see a family looking for help I buy a couple bags of groceries for them. I'll even include cookies if there are kids. If the family is gone by the time I get back outside, I donate the groceries to a local food pantry.1
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MrStabbems wrote: »I think it's equally noticeable when "good deeds" are more of an inconvenience. Like when you hold the door for someone who is way too far away and they have to do a little trot so you're not just standing there. Or when you get caught up in dreadful "pay it forward" shenanigans at the starbucks drive-thru when you've only ordered a tall house coffee, but the car behind you ordered 4 dessert drinks and breakfast.
whats the concept of "pay it forward"? i see it mentioned in a thread the other day
A spin on paying it back. You do something nice for someone else instead of the person who did it for you. Decent movie, as well.Actually I kind of agree with the other person. I've always thought that in order to be truly altruistic that you should get no joy out of your sacrifice. That includes a pat on the back and even the warm fuzzy feeling.
That's true, but is it really that important to be "truly altruistic?" Can't it be enough to be helpful and kind?
Good point. I'm probably just an idealist by wishing that doing kind things are purely for the benefit of the recipient.1
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