How disgusting is this...
Replies
-
*She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.
But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.
She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.
She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.
It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.
I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...0 -
The author of this article has been through a lot, and there is a lot more going on in her mind besides her weight. The point is she has to make to the choice to live a different lifestyle and get healthier, but no one else can do it for her. The weight battle is very personal and it is sad that so many people judge her, especially the number of medical professionals. Yes they should encourage her to choose different life style choices but ultimately it's her life and it won't happen until she DECIDES to make that happen. No amount of surgery or doctors will change that.0
-
While it is her choice, it's an absolutely heartbreaking story! Staying overweight is her defense mechanism for now, but she's so angry at the world/parents/childhood/society that she has more problems than just the weight! Hopefully, she can find some sort of therapy other than eating for her issues, so that 10 years from now when she is 100 lbs heavier she isn't still dealing with all of the anger/emotional issues, but serious health issues as well!0
-
Why do you think it is disgusting? its her choice.
You're kidding... right?
It is her choice, even though she is just slowly killing herself. People who don't care about themselves can find ways to be content with all sorts of bad behavior: be it overeating, not exercising, doing drugs, sex addiction...you name it. She obviously has deep seated self esteem issues, and she's fighting against one thing she shouldn't be: her health. Still like another poster said, it is her choice, and she's not hurting ANYONE except for herself.
her family... her community... oh yea and the burden of the healthcare system
^^Yes, true, but have you ever been pressured to make a change? Does it work? I pressured my husband to stop smoking for 10 years, and it didn't work. All it did was ruin our relationship. He finally did stop smoking, but it took him having a SERIOUS health consequence. Some people think they are invincible and that all the statistics don't apply to them, and they don't realize they do until it's almost too late. She has to realize that what she is doing is hurting herself, and decide in her heart to change...not for anyone else, but herself. Only then will she be able to do it (as I'm sure you realized on your weight loss journey).
i feel you on this... but...
her "fat acceptance" is a just adolescent take on being ok with yourself. It is immature and self-destructive.
Instead of this chick, you know who us overweight people should paying attention to? Adele. She was defiant and vowed to never diet or bend to social pressure. Then she had a baby and realized was rationalizing and started living healthier. You don't have conform to some unattainable standard of beauty. You just have to not be selfish and set an example for your God Damned children.0 -
everything written is Salon.com is complete and utter garbage. Theyshould rename it Pravda.0
-
Some days I can certainly relate to how the author feels about always being expected to lose weight and being expected to be interested in losing weight by everyone else. Sometimes it does seem unfair that a fat person just can't be okay with being fat BUT that being said, I am here for a reason and it's because I have been thinner and I understand how much better I felt by being at a healthier weight. Clearly that is not something the author has yet experienced or she would probably not choose to remain fat.0
-
I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
0 -
I found this very sad. Saw a lot of myself in it. I blamed the weight for not having a significant other in my life. When I had one, I tried so hard to be the perfect girlfriend. I blamed my weight when the guy broke up with me. All in all, I'm just very unhappy with myself but I have no one but myself to blame. I hope this individual starts to see some of the things I have at a much younger age than I did. I wish her well.0
-
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
THANK YOU.
What is actually disgusting is rampant body shaming, fascist ideas about what bodies are supposed to look like, or the notion that everyone should have the same desires about their own size and weight.0 -
Some people don't seem to understand the psychological problems behind certain people with binge eating disorder. If you don't suffer from it, it's easy to look at an obese binge eater and just say, "You're overweight. Don't eat like that, and you'll be healthier." But that's just as misinformed as telling an anorexic, "Just eat. You're too skinny."its the same as someone who is anorexic. its horrible what they are doing to themselves and its likely the result of some mental disorder.
we should look on these people with sadness and try to get them help.
I agree. She states in the article "I’m more concerned with what my blood work reveals than what the number on the scale says" which is a good way to look at things, but I think she's missing the fact that her blood work may be fine now, but unless she becomes healthier/fitter overall, it WILL NOT stay that way. By the time a problem shows up on her blood work, it may be past the point of repair. Why not prevent the problem by getting healthy now than to put it off and try to fix the multiple problems that will occur later in her life?Short sighted is more like it. Perhaps it does have to do with age and the fact that, at 23, she has no major health problems from her weight. This clearly won't be the case forever.0 -
Some days I can certainly relate to how the author feels about always being expected to lose weight and being expected to be interested in losing weight by everyone else. Sometimes it does seem unfair that a fat person just can't be okay with being fat BUT that being said, I am here for a reason and it's because I have been thinner and I understand how much better I felt by being at a healthier weight. Clearly that is not something the author has yet experienced or she would probably not choose to remain fat.
^^This. Exactly how I feel too.0 -
It's her choice but she should understand that actions come with consequences whether you like them or not.
This.
She is living in the present and not concerning herself with the future. It's dangerous to be young and dumb.0 -
I don't find this distgusting. I find it empowering that she is finding a way to define herself in a way that makes sense to her. I do not agree with the way she is going about it, over-eating food for emotional satisfaction and being obese or over-weight for that reason is not healthy and is going to continually lead down a road of hardship when it comes to health for her. However like all women she will come to an impasse and possibly change her own mind and choose a different way to live. Personally I hope she ends up being healthy and happy regardless, I wish that for anyone.
Interesting read as well, thank you.0 -
I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
^this is why we are friends0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...
sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type. you can't be anorexic and healthy, whereas you CAN be fat and healthy. as this woman clearly says in her article, according to all the tests that don't have to do with her weight, she is healthy. the point is, we're not speculating on her health here. we're speculating on her bodily autonomy as a human being with a right to do what she wants with her body, and how people take issue with that. the responses in this thread are perfect examples. what she chooses to do with her body has nothing to do with you, with the OP, with me, or with anyone else. (and don't even get me started on the whole ~omg i'm paying her healthcare~ bs, because as i've just stated, she's healthy so it's a non-issue.)
i think what's disgusting is the way that many doctors treat fat patients. it leads to fat people being terrified to go to the doctor, and then, guess what? when they do have a medical problem, by the time they get it treated it's exacerbated itself to a point it never should have, giving the doctor even more fuel to blame it on a patient's weight.
shame does not motivate most people to do anything. it makes them hate themselves, which is not conducive to change or healthy behavior. shame, simply put, does not work. that's a big part of what the author was getting at.0 -
I'm not disgusted, I'm f*cking heartbroken. The Mama Bear in me is welling up for that little 7-year-old supergirl. As for the rest, I'm old enough to know that this probably isn't her final decision. At least I hope not.
Going to give my daughter extra hugs tonight.0 -
but i am IN for that sandwich.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...
sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type. you can't be anorexic and healthy, whereas you CAN be fat and healthy. as this woman clearly says in her article, according to all the tests that don't have to do with her weight, she is healthy. the point is, we're not speculating on her health here. we're speculating on her bodily autonomy as a human being with a right to do what she wants with her body, and how people take issue with that. the responses in this thread are perfect examples. what she chooses to do with her body has nothing to do with you, with the OP, with me, or with anyone else. (and don't even get me started on the whole ~omg i'm paying her healthcare~ bs, because as i've just stated, she's healthy so it's a non-issue.)
i think what's disgusting is the way that many doctors treat fat patients. it leads to fat people being terrified to go to the doctor, and then, guess what? when they do have a medical problem, by the time they get it treated it's exacerbated itself to a point it never should have, giving the doctor even more fuel to blame it on a patient's weight.
shame does not motivate most people to do anything. it makes them hate themselves, which is not conducive to change or healthy behavior. shame, simply put, does not work. that's a big part of what the author was getting at.
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.0 -
i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.
This.
It'll be a whole 'nother story if she ever develops diabetes or some other disease that her obesity puts her at significantly higher risk for later in life.
I've seen the same with my family members who were chronic smokers. They all said, "Hey it's fine" and "live and let live" or something along the lines of "i'm enjoying myself!" until all that smoking ended up killing them too soon. Then they regretted it, but it was far too late.0 -
I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
^^ I'm glad that someone else had this idea... I actually want to make one ASAP now lol yummmmm *drool*0 -
you're an idiot for judging somebody.......0
-
you're an idiot for judging somebody.......
judging... really?
:facepalm:0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...
sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type. you can't be anorexic and healthy, whereas you CAN be fat and healthy. as this woman clearly says in her article, according to all the tests that don't have to do with her weight, she is healthy. the point is, we're not speculating on her health here. we're speculating on her bodily autonomy as a human being with a right to do what she wants with her body, and how people take issue with that. the responses in this thread are perfect examples. what she chooses to do with her body has nothing to do with you, with the OP, with me, or with anyone else. (and don't even get me started on the whole ~omg i'm paying her healthcare~ bs, because as i've just stated, she's healthy so it's a non-issue.)
i think what's disgusting is the way that many doctors treat fat patients. it leads to fat people being terrified to go to the doctor, and then, guess what? when they do have a medical problem, by the time they get it treated it's exacerbated itself to a point it never should have, giving the doctor even more fuel to blame it on a patient's weight.
shame does not motivate most people to do anything. it makes them hate themselves, which is not conducive to change or healthy behavior. shame, simply put, does not work. that's a big part of what the author was getting at.
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.
this is going to be nitpicky but oh well. she's not 23. the article states that at the time she was at the clinic with her therapist, she was 23. it doesn't state her current age.0 -
What's with people posting exuberant gifs about how they didn't read something? You proud of that?0
-
Why do you think it is disgusting? its her choice.
You're kidding... right?
It is her choice, even though she is just slowly killing herself. People who don't care about themselves can find ways to be content with all sorts of bad behavior: be it overeating, not exercising, doing drugs, sex addiction...you name it. She obviously has deep seated self esteem issues, and she's fighting against one thing she shouldn't be: her health. Still like another poster said, it is her choice, and she's not hurting ANYONE except for herself.
her family... her community... oh yea and the burden of the healthcare system
^^Yes, true, but have you ever been pressured to make a change? Does it work? I pressured my husband to stop smoking for 10 years, and it didn't work. All it did was ruin our relationship. He finally did stop smoking, but it took him having a SERIOUS health consequence. Some people think they are invincible and that all the statistics don't apply to them, and they don't realize they do until it's almost too late. She has to realize that what she is doing is hurting herself, and decide in her heart to change...not for anyone else, but herself. Only then will she be able to do it (as I'm sure you realized on your weight loss journey).
i feel you on this... but...
her "fat acceptance" is a just adolescent take on being ok with yourself. It is immature and self-destructive.
Instead of this chick, you know who us overweight people should paying attention to? Adele. She was defiant and vowed to never diet or bend to social pressure. Then she had a baby and realized was rationalizing and started living healthier. You don't have conform to some unattainable standard of beauty. You just have to not be selfish and set an example for your God Damned children.
I agree with you about Adele. I think we need more role models of people who are actually happy with themselves and trying to better themselves, rather than this woman who is obviously unhappy with herself and doesn't know how to make a life altering change. She needs to stop thinking about other people's expectations and live by her own, because in fact going against what "society" wants she is hurting herself and trying to proove a "point" in a stupid way!0 -
I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.
And even though I don't think that remaining obese is the best way to stick it up to the Man, I kinda get that.
I've never been really fat, just 10-20lbs overweight. That's all my family could see.
Last year I lost 20lbs in a little less than 3.5months, and that's all I could hear about. Nothing about the internship I got as a Law student or being a straight-A student or anything about my other accomplishments. It is and always was about weight and it's painful and maddening. It feels like one's persona doesn't really matter as long as they go along with everyone else's expectation.
But I must insist, remaining obese is certainly not the way to prove your point. But I kinda understand her.
^ My thoughts exactly, except to add that I was obese for most of my life. Families and friends always want to compliment you when you lose and badger you when you gain. It's great to see someone who actually doesn't want to be noticed merely because of her weight... **NOT** condoning the notion to remain obese to prove a point, but don't we all want to be happy and satisfied with ourselves at some, if not most, points in our life?0 -
She's not 23!!!! she says "I am 23 at the time" which means when she's writing this whole things she's older.0
-
the girl is 23. it's very easy to feel strong and defiant against something in your late teens and early twenties.
i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.
And all the things she's going to miss because of her increasingly bad health.
I get that people have psychological issues regarding weight. But to say, "I'm going to set myself up for bad health and missed experiences because I am damaged and refuse to change" is silly.
And I want to add that I've been in her shoes. I was a size 22, 230lb 27 year old. I thought that it was okay to be overweight. That it wasn't my problem that society judged me or that I felt bad about myself or that I couldn't....no wouldn't.....control my habits. But once I decided to change, I cannot even begin to explain how much life improved for me.0 -
She's not 23!!!! she says "I am 23 at the time" which means when she's writing this whole things she's older.
^jeez, relax a little0 -
What's with people posting exuberant gifs about how they didn't read something? You proud of that?
lol i so agree with you on this... but i think thats just another topic for another day.
It isnt even a long story. in fact i say what i posted is a short story, but its just too long for them!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 424 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions