How disgusting is this...
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this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
I think the word disgusting was pretty harsh.. I don't find it disgusting.
I did find it odd tough. Not sure why anyone would find it okay to outwardly glorify or make excuses for obesity.
I am all for loving yourself no matter what size you are.. but I am NOT okay with promoting unhealthy habits. Yes you can be a little overweight and still be somewhat healthy.. but that is not the message I was getting from the article.
Correct me if I have missed something?
Also, I am wondering if she would she raise her children to be the same..
you are on point. you didnt miss anything. all here are bashing me for 1 word and supporting someone (author) terrible life choices while making every excuse for the behavior.
Probably because many of the people empathize with the writer and not so much with either your word choice or the medical profession as a whole.
And, not all.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.0 -
Something that I read the other day that the author of this article may or may not identify with.
After all, there's two sides to every penny. With her acceptance there must come a side of remorse.TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, then I do not envy you.
For you would be stuck in a maze with no exit, trapped within walls that would even make the greatest escape artists claustrophobic.
And at your feet you would see that the ‘shoes’ you wear are not even there, for you walk bare across shatter glass, cutting you deep by each step you take. Reflections of these broken fragments show you in what you once believed in, now destroyed by a series of unfortunate events acting a hammer.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I suggest that you bring a flashlight, but I doubt that it will help. As the darkness that surrounds you is no where comparative to the darkness you would feel within, consuming at your heart.
I promise you, you would not last a second in my shoes. Not with the demons that walk beside me everyday. If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I would not allow you. No one deserves this pain I feel inside.0 -
edit: I somehow inadvertently made a post. Oops.0
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nothing disgusting about it. It made me sad for all she has been through.
I saw nowhere in that article where she said she is *trying* to be obese. She is just not trying to be thin. Obviously it all catches up with us, I know that one personally, but I had high cal days prior to counting cals and actively trying to lose weight and had low cal days too. My erratic eating habits, and frequent emotional eating, led my weight to either maintain or creep up as things caught up with me.
I had to come to a place where I was emotionally ok in many other areas to be able to work on my eating. Perhaps she will someday get there herself. Maybe not. Personally I applaud her for not letting others dictate how she feels about herself. Honestly to be able to thumb her nose at what other people feel is *ideal* for her is admirable. Sorry but it is. To not feel as though she needs to lose weight just because others want her to, or because others think she should? awesome
Just because someone is obese does not mean that they are unhealthy necessarily. It does not mean that they will automatically become a strain on society because of health problems. Skinny people are unhealthy sometimes too. I wish our society spent less time judging others based solely on their weight; that is a much larger problem IMO than anything this woman seems to be dealing with anymore.0 -
What a beautifully written, heart breaking story. She can choose whatever she wants. Not sure why anyone else would care?
^^^^^^^^^^AGREE...AGREE....AGREE...AGREE...AGREE....AGREE....AGREE...AGREE....^^^^^^^^^^^^^0 -
"Disgusting" referring to how and why she feels this way. I see both sides. I understand the post. Disgusting to think this way and I undersatand the author, she shouldnt have to deny herself anymore than shes already had to. Both points are valid. Its her choice and her life and of this is helping her "take back" her life, then fine; let her be happy. Also the poster makes a good point. "_ Not heathy to think this way but when you grow up not knowing a "healthy" life weather its with food/ relationships with friends/family/ lovers, it takes time to heal, sometimes it takes your whole life. People do it on their own time. You cant "heal" physically until you "heal" emotionally. You can lose weight but it wont help if you are in a poor mental state. And of you are in a "toxic environment relationship, ect, it only adds to it.0
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What a beautifully written, heart breaking story. She can choose whatever she wants. Not sure why anyone else would care?
^^^^^^^^^^AGREE...AGREE....AGREE...AGREE...AGREE....AGREE....AGREE...AGREE....^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Would you say the same thing to someone that chose to end their own life?
I mean, by this logic, why is assisted suicide socially unacceptable, but somehow, ignoring the fact that you eat to deal with your emotions is okay and an acceptable choice one can make for themselves.0 -
It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.
For me...that's not the case. From the doctor's standpoint, she should be fine. She is (apparently) keeping an eye on her cholesterol/blood pressure.
What *I* find a problem with is her attitude. A "shield of fat"? Fat providing "distance" from the world? I get that. I understand where those thoughts come from. And I would never judge a person for having those feelings. But the way she is "accepting" these feelings...is sad. Because she's not really accepting herself. It seems more like defiance, not acceptance. Like the rebellious teenager who gets a mohawk simply because his mother is conservative, not because he likes mohawks. There is a HUGE difference in motivation there.
She's been through a lot. That's terrible. I feel for her. If she were on MFP (or at a party, or in my living room) I would sympathize with her...that sucks. That is no way to grow up. And I'm sure she has a lot of things to work through from such a horrific childhood. But I have a hard time when people use situations as a crutch. I have read so many stories of people here who have overcome huge obstacles to get healthy. I know so many people elsewhere who have come from worse situations, and you'd never know - because they learned to be strong from their trials. They went through so much...and then so much more to heal.
She's not healing. She's making her issues a badge of honor.
She blames her body for everything - for people not liking her...for her doctors' attitudes...for everything. So she's decided to take this body and shove it in everyone's faces. Because if it's her choice to be big, then she is not a failure. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You cannot just decide one day that you love this body you've hated forever. And the comments she makes show that she is not happy with her body. She's just telling everyone she is...
I have a friend who is morbidly obese, and she is one of the sexiest, most vibrant people I know. She is not campaigning for "fat acceptance"...and is not actively trying to lose weight. She is just honestly happy with who she is, and in her own body. I wish she were healthier, but this is her choice. She carries herself with confidence and grace -- and she is beautiful. She doesn't down me for trying to lose weight, and I don't give her a hard time for not jumping on the bandwagon.
That's my other problem with this lady...she is judging those of us who are losing. Saying we are conforming to society, and how terrible that is for us. And talking about how we're 90% likely to gain back what we've lost. She's just as judgmental as she's accusing everyone else of being. Like we're weak for getting healthy.
I don't know. Its just sad to me. And has nothing to do with her size. Just her attitude. :-/0 -
It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.
For me...that's not the case. From the doctor's standpoint, she should be fine. She is (apparently) keeping an eye on her cholesterol/blood pressure.
What *I* find a problem with is her attitude. A "shield of fat"? Fat providing "distance" from the world? I get that. I understand where those thoughts come from. And I would never judge a person for having those feelings. But the way she is "accepting" these feelings...is sad. Because she's not really accepting herself. It seems more like defiance, not acceptance. Like the rebellious teenager who gets a mohawk simply because his mother is conservative, not because he likes mohawks. There is a HUGE difference in motivation there.
She's been through a lot. That's terrible. I feel for her. If she were on MFP (or at a party, or in my living room) I would sympathize with her...that sucks. That is no way to grow up. And I'm sure she has a lot of things to work through from such a horrific childhood. But I have a hard time when people use situations as a crutch. I have read so many stories of people here who have overcome huge obstacles to get healthy. I know so many people elsewhere who have come from worse situations, and you'd never know - because they learned to be strong from their trials. They went through so much...and then so much more to heal.
She's not healing. She's making her issues a badge of honor.
She blames her body for everything - for people not liking her...for her doctors' attitudes...for everything. So she's decided to take this body and shove it in everyone's faces. Because if it's her choice to be big, then she is not a failure. I'm sorry, but that's wrong. You cannot just decide one day that you love this body you've hated forever. And the comments she makes show that she is not happy with her body. She's just telling everyone she is...
I have a friend who is morbidly obese, and she is one of the sexiest, most vibrant people I know. She is not campaigning for "fat acceptance"...and is not actively trying to lose weight. She is just honestly happy with who she is, and in her own body. I wish she were healthier, but this is her choice. She carries herself with confidence and grace -- and she is beautiful. She doesn't down me for trying to lose weight, and I don't give her a hard time for not jumping on the bandwagon.
That's my other problem with this lady...she is judging those of us who are losing. Saying we are conforming to society, and how terrible that is for us. And talking about how we're 90% likely to gain back what we've lost. She's just as judgmental as she's accusing everyone else of being. Like we're weak for getting healthy.
I don't know. Its just sad to me. And has nothing to do with her size. Just her attitude. :-/
powerful! and on point0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.0 -
bump0
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The author of the essay is taking society's slightly neurotic obsession with being thin as an excuse to retreat into her own completely neurotic obsession with being fat. She turns a simple physical state into a badge of identity and honor.
Lines about not wanting to deny the abused little girl she was anything cross the line from evidence of psychological damage to fetishistic self pity. She is a grown woman now. She should make responsible choices rather than resorting to whiny "Think of the children" arguments and applying them to herself.
She says things like this: "There’s always a former Miss Lonelyheart, a thirtysomething virgin who — after a gastric bypass or militant adherence to the Paleo diet — has shed half her body weight and is finally ready for Mr. Right. I’ve no doubt that they really do feel healthier and happier, and honestly (truly) good for them. I just wish that the entirety of their lives weren’t reduced to a single achievement."
Just look at that last sentence. She thinks that weight is such a huge deal that people view weight loss as the main achievement of their lives. NO ONE THINKS LIKE THIS. Except her because she is completely obsessed with weight.
There is not a single remotely rational or healthy sentiment expressed in this entire essay. She is a very sick woman.
^^^ this0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.0 -
She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things.
This... sort of!
This is not the hardest thing I have ever worked for or done. It is one of the best, though. I love knowing I did something awesome when I get dressed every morning. I'm still in awe of what I've accomplished. I think it's awesome I just graduated junior college and got into my dream school, but I don't think about it every day. I think about my weight loss every day. I relish all of the things I can do.
Also, it requires little effort to talk about my weight loss. It speaks for itself. For other accomplishments, I have to tell others and hope they care.0 -
Something that I read the other day that the author of this article may or may not identify with.
After all, there's two sides to every penny. With her acceptance there must come a side of remorse.TAKE A WALK IN MY SHOES.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, then I do not envy you.
For you would be stuck in a maze with no exit, trapped within walls that would even make the greatest escape artists claustrophobic.
And at your feet you would see that the ‘shoes’ you wear are not even there, for you walk bare across shatter glass, cutting you deep by each step you take. Reflections of these broken fragments show you in what you once believed in, now destroyed by a series of unfortunate events acting a hammer.
If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I suggest that you bring a flashlight, but I doubt that it will help. As the darkness that surrounds you is no where comparative to the darkness you would feel within, consuming at your heart.
I promise you, you would not last a second in my shoes. Not with the demons that walk beside me everyday. If you were going to take a walk in my shoes, I would not allow you. No one deserves this pain I feel inside.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.
i am bound for surgery hun. not psychiatric work.
thats like asking your mechanic to be more sensitive with your cars feelings.0 -
I'm afraid I didn't have much sympathy with the writer of the article. She had a bad childhood? So did so many others including myself. I'd probably have considered the childhood she had a trade up from what I had when I was young. To use a bad childhood as an excuse and reason to "rage against the system", to "stick it to the man", for self destructive or for self defeating behaviour isn't something I find admirable in anyone. I firmly believe in using all the rage and anger into being the best you can be in all aspects of your life and that includes being as healthy as it is possible to be.
To be honest reading the article actually made me quite angry. The writer acts as if having a difficult past is a get out of jail free card for current behaviour however misguided or wrong it might be. No it damn aint.0 -
What a beautifully written, heart breaking story. She can choose whatever she wants. Not sure why anyone else would care?
^^^^^^^^^^AGREE...AGREE....AGREE...AGREE...AGREE....AGREE....AGREE...AGREE....^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Would you say the same thing to someone that chose to end their own life?
I mean, by this logic, why is assisted suicide socially unacceptable, but somehow, ignoring the fact that you eat to deal with your emotions is okay and an acceptable choice one can make for themselves.
Lol I think you need to back up for a sec. All we know about the writer's CURRENT eating habits is that she sometimes eats grilled cheese sandwiches and sometimes eats kale. Pretty sure that doesn't give you any insight into whether or not she's eating her emotions.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
Beautifully written. Heart-felt and sad. Not disgusting at all. You are a very narrow-minded person for thinking this is disgusting. Did someone say you are studying to be a PA? Perhaps you should rethink your field of study. You have to be compassionate in the healthcare industry. You sir, are NOT compassionate by any means.
absolutely laughable.
my job is to get the sick better not to make sure they are ok with childhood issues. compassion on a forum? get outta here.
My sister is 9 months away from her Psychiatric NP license. She is all about healing the sick. Perhaps you should take a couple more psychology classes to getting a better understanding of the way people act/react to life events.
I'm sorry... but how exactly does the OP expressing his opinion on a public forum correlate to him not having compassion.
He did not express his opinion to this woman directly, and any good psychologist knows better than to share their personal opinion with their patients.
Just because his opinion and choice of descriptive word does not match your own does not mean that he is not compassionate. If he had titled his post with "How sad is this..." the whole conversation would have went in an entirely different direction. He is entitled to be disgusted by this woman's entitlement attitude.
"The world was mean to me so I'm entitled to be fat if I want to. Fat makes me feel better."
And because disgust was his immediate reaction, he has been crucified in this thread. It's damn ridiculous if you ask me.0
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