How disgusting is this...

mandasalem

Weight gain is common for those who have experienced traumatic experiences.

Like verbal abuse. Abuse by words. Which she did, in fact, mention in her article. Her dad calling her clumsy, and stupid, etc.

She's not dealing with her ****, and she's justifying her bad behavior as being a self-esteem thing.

Because the rest of the world is telling her she's disgusting.

So no... words didnt like disgusting didn't put her in the situation she is on. Childhood exp's

Like abuse, which was physical and, based on her article, verbal and emotional.

and ****ty choices based off of her past

Her past, which includes hurtful words...

have. Words had no role in it.

If you say so.

soldier4242

there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

smh....

cause thats what medical providers do????

its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.

You have to got to learn how to separate forum speak from real life. Sure he typed "How disgusting is this..." as he thread title but that does not mean that he would say that to a patient in his room. The post I was responding to was talking about the importance of empathy for medical professionals.

While I think a degree of empathy is necessary to have any sort of productive conversation with another person, I do not think that it is so important that bad decisions should be protected. If she was in the office with me or any other medical profession and she were to tell some story like the one she wrote here the response should boil down to "that is a horrible idea" no matter how it is worded.

KatLifter

Weight gain is common for those who have experienced traumatic experiences.

Like verbal abuse. Abuse by words. Which she did, in fact, mention in her article. Her dad calling her clumsy, and stupid, etc.

She's not dealing with her ****, and she's justifying her bad behavior as being a self-esteem thing.

Because the rest of the world is telling her she's disgusting.

So no... words didnt like disgusting didn't put her in the situation she is on. Childhood exp's

Like abuse, which was physical and, based on her article, verbal and emotional.

and ****ty choices based off of her past

Her past, which includes hurtful words...

have. Words had no role in it.

If you say so.

*I disagree with someone on the internet

mandasalem

*I disagree with someone on the internet

Sorry, but I think it's important on a site where people are struggling with weight, eating disorders, and self-image, to try and foster some kind of understanding about how important-- and hurtful-- words really can be.

If that makes me a stubborn internet stereotype, fine, but here more than anywhere, I think the point I'm making is actually important.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

UsedToBeHusky

*I disagree with someone on the internet

Sorry, but I think it's important on a site where people are struggling with weight, eating disorders, and self-image, to try and foster some kind of understanding about how important-- and hurtful-- words really can be.

If that makes me a stubborn internet stereotype, fine, but here more than anywhere, I think the point I'm making is actually important.

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

If she weren't obese and "okay with it", if she had any other mental illness, you would be appalled that she is making excuses for not getting treatment for it. What if she were bipolar and recognized herself as bipolar, but decided that she shouldn't have to get treatment for it because that's just a part of who she is.

Or what if she were an alcoholic and recognized that she were an alcoholic, but refused to get treatment for it because society says she is an alcoholic when she is just comfortable with her level of alcohol consumption?

The reality is no one is going to motivate her to address her eating disorder, but herself. Just like no one caused her to develop her eating disorder, but herself.

While you point fingers at his attitude for attributing to this woman's mental health (obviously not directly since he doesn't know her personally), your attitude is what is enabling this woman to think that the choice she has made for herself is a healthy and positive one.

tlsegar

there is a difference between your doctor letting you know that you are unhealthy and should take steps to better yourself and just coming out and saying, well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill.

well sir, you are disgusting, here is your bill

smh....

cause thats what medical providers do????

its what you did. your first reaction was that she is disgusting and then you posted it. And I was replying to the post about a doctor being honest. They were saying that telling someone they are disgusting is honest and what a doctor should do. I was disagreeing with it.

You have to got to learn how to separate forum speak from real life. Sure he typed "How disgusting is this..." as he thread title but that does not mean that he would say that to a patient in his room. The post I was responding to was talking about the importance of empathy for medical professionals.

While I think a degree of empathy is necessary to have any sort of productive conversation with another person, I do not think that it is so important that bad decisions should be protected. If she was in the office with me or any other medical profession and she were to tell some story like the one she wrote here the response should boil down to "that is a horrible idea" no matter how it is worded.

He wouldn't have to say it to the patient in the room. The judgement and disgust would come through loud and clear.

rml_16

OP, you're training to be a PA? I feel sorry for your patients. Empathy is an important quality in a health care professional.

Personally I would my my PA to be honest with me rather than tell me what I want to hear.

You want your health care professional to tell you you're disgusting?

Look, I'm not arguing that being overweight is healthy or shouldn't be addressed by health care professionals. I'm saying there is a proper way to do it that patients will respond to. Being rude about it is only going to make them dig their heals into the ground.

This woman has mental health issues that she expresses and deals with through eating too much. Telling her she's "disgusting" for that isn't going to help her get healthy. A good health care professional would recognize and work with that rather than be rude and shame her.

peeaanuut

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

Laces_0ut

why does this site forbid pro anorexic posts but allows pro obesity posts? both are incredibly unhealthy...

JustJennie1

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Or not have to go the ER. I havent been into a doctors office or the ER in over 20 years. I have a signed and notarized DNR. My wife is in the medical industry and can take care of any issue I have. I also have a medical bank account with quite enough money if something were ever to arise. No, I am not a drain on the medical industry.

There are TONS of medical emergencies you could run into on a daily basis (slip, fall broken leg for example) that would require you to visit an ER. there is a reason that the number one cause of bankruptcy is hospital bills. I'm sorry but your shortsighted thinking is wrong.

Melissa22G

Wow. This post still going on?

beckizzle

the girl is 23. it's very easy to feel strong and defiant against something in your late teens and early twenties.

i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.

yep! this ^^

she'll realise how much she has limited herself.

Laces_0ut

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

Hexahedra

Disgusting is such a strong word, but coming from somebody who was obese himself, it's understandable. Just like we rush to show tolerance to the author's decision to stay fat (which I personally think is stupid), we should show tolerance to the OP who chooses to reject his own obesity so strongly (and actually works on reducing it) that he prefers to use the word 'disgusting'.

Before anybody gets his panties in a bunch, I do believe in freedom, meaning everybody is free to be stupid. However, you can't expect anybody to agree with your stupid decision, especially when it increases the overall cost of healthcare to everybody.

I am the first person to admit that I looked terrible before I went on this journey. If I don't believe that what I was doing was wrong and reject it strongly, I wouldn't be where I am today. While I am far from getting a job as an underwear model, today I am lighter, healthier, stronger, faster, and has more endurance than before.

Rage_Phish

im fat. I am not a drain on anyone. I dont use health insurance (until Obamacare forces me to use a rip off industry just like car insurance). I dont have a handicapped plaquared, I dont have special things at work because of my size that the company paid for. When I needed a new chair, I purchased it. I pay for my own food.

For someone to assume that all fat people are a drain on society is simply ridiculous. As far as the author of the article being disgusting, nope. The OP may have a head full of himself and think everyone needs to be like him. We call those people *kitten*. OP, you sir are a *kitten*.

not having health care makes you a HUGE drain on the healthcare system. When people without insurance need a trip to the ER (which obese people are more likely to need) who do you think often ends up paying that bill? Tax Payers.

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

I never said you'd be denied service. Of course an ER will help people.

and when they cant pay the astronomical bill that many ER visits come with, the tax payers end up footing the bill.

Rage_Phish

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

correct

JustJennie1

Wrong. If you don't have insurance hospitals and doctors will work with you and even offer you a payment plan so you can pay your bill. I have insurance for catastrophic purposes which means when I have to go to the doctor for something routine or because I am ill I tell them I have no insurance. Not once have I ever been refused to be seen because of that and trust me when I say they are MORE than happy to accept cash for payment. Not only that but the cost is probably less than what I would be paying if I had to go through insurance.

im pretty sure he's not talking about those who have no insurance and are able to play cash. he's talking about the vast amount of people w/o insurance who rack up bills and never pay/file bankruptcy.

So being obese immediately means that they can't afford to pay their hospital bill?

There are plenty of thin people who are a drain on society as well.

mandasalem

So what your saying is describing the author's self-destructive behavior as "disgusting" is somehow wrong and attributing to her problem.

I'm saying that most people in her situation and in the situation of a lot of other mental illnesses struggle with self-loathing. Using words like "disgusting" to describe them will absolutely add to that feeling of self-loathing.

Mental illness isn't something that people bring on themselves. There are so many contributing factors that it's almost impossible to sort it all out.

I wouldn't describe an alcoholic, as per your example, as disgusting. It's an illness that needs to be treated. Willfully not treating it is dangerous, it's frustrating, it's sad.

And you could, if you liked, apply all those same words to what this woman is doing. It's all of those things. But I don't think it's disgusting.