Ghosted

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grayblackmfp
grayblackmfp Posts: 140 Member
in Chit-Chat
I was dating a man who I met on a dating website a month ago. We had seven dates over four weeks with daily texts in-between. He always texted me first. Then one day he didn't reply to me. And I've heard nothing from him since. Unless he's had some kind of emergency he obviously doesn't want to see me again. I know I'm better off without someone who can be so cruel but the bit of hope that I have left hurts. It doesn't feel quite over because I'm still waiting for a text or call. I'm surprised how much it hurts after such a brief time with him. It doesn't make me want to open up to anyone else. Has this happened to you and how did you get past it without losing faith in humanity?
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  • _BrewingAZ_
    _BrewingAZ_ Posts: 252 Member
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    Maybe text him and ask?
  • LaPrincipessaFedele
    LaPrincipessaFedele Posts: 483 Member
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    Send him a *kitten* you text and move on. Even if he doesn't respond you've given yourself some closure. Sorry :( I know how frustrating it is.
  • DasItMan91
    DasItMan91 Posts: 5,753 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Yeah send him one more text, you got nothing to lose now and if he doesn't respond, just move on. If you're a decent-looking woman, it shouldn't be that hard to find another man anyway and how long has it been since he stopped responding to you?
  • LaPrincipessaFedele
    LaPrincipessaFedele Posts: 483 Member
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    _MistahJ_ wrote: »
    LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »
    Send him a *kitten* you text and move on. Even if he doesn't respond you've given yourself some closure. Sorry :( I know how frustrating it is.

    I love getting kitten texts. He might respond to that.

    Lmao MFP wouldn't let me say what I really wanted to say o:)
  • DasItMan91
    DasItMan91 Posts: 5,753 Member
    edited June 2017
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    What you should send is not something like "Hey did you get my text?" but a text asking him a question about something you guys talked about before or something you wanna know about him. Something that should warrant him to respond back, if he doesn't, there's your answer, he's not that interested and probably found another woman or women.
  • m1ss_danni
    m1ss_danni Posts: 13 Member
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    Hmm id probably just msg once asking if everything is ok. If no response then just delete, move forward..

  • curvylicious369
    curvylicious369 Posts: 61 Member
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    How Long has it been since you've heard from him first of all? I see a lot of people complain about being ghosted and then I'll ask when did you hear from them last? And they'll be like "two days ago" LOL. People get busy with work and family and aren't always considerate in keeping up with people. I do think he could shoot you at least a little text saying sorry I haven't been in touch I'm busy at the moment, but a lot of guys don't seem to consider women's feelings. If it's been more than a week since you've heard from him, I would just delete his number and move on. His silence says it all and he probably moved on to someone else but didn't have the balls to tell you.
  • angelxsss
    angelxsss Posts: 2,402 Member
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    A friend recently brought up a good point in regard to this, but why would you even want time or attention from someone who obviously doesn't care enough to text? It seems self explanatory, but it's an uncommon perspective to take when you're the one being ghosted, I know.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
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    I'm not proud to admit it, but when I was younger I did 'ghost' a couple of people.

    I did it because I felt I needed to end a relationship and it would be easier on the other person to "make" them hate or be mad at me. My intention was that I was doing it for their benefit, it would be easier on them for me to be the *kitten* instead of hurting their feelings by breaking up with them.

    It was immature of me, and I wouldn't do it now. I know the "I wonder why they did that...what did I do" feeling now.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I'm not proud to admit it, but when I was younger I did 'ghost' a couple of people.

    I did it because I felt I needed to end a relationship and it would be easier on the other person to "make" them hate or be mad at me. My intention was that I was doing it for their benefit, it would be easier on them for me to be the *kitten* instead of hurting their feelings by breaking up with them.

    It was immature of me, and I wouldn't do it now. I know the "I wonder why they did that...what did I do" feeling now.


    you're unfriending me, aren't you?


    it's a lil' passive agressive, but it's okay; I wearing my big boy pants tonight.




    * breaks down sobbing
  • Sivadee00
    Sivadee00 Posts: 428 Member
    edited June 2017
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    I would let it go. You might be better off without him.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
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    Ghosting sucks and it's a cowardly thing to do but I can't help but wonder, what if something happened to him and he's laying in a hospital somewhere or worse...dead! I know that's horrible but I always give people the benefit of the doubt before I write them off forever. That's the only 'excuse' aside from he's just not that into you.
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
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    grayblackmfp wrote: »
    I was dating a man who I met on a dating website a month ago. We had seven dates over four weeks with daily texts in-between. He always texted me first. Then one day he didn't reply to me. And I've heard nothing from him since. Unless he's had some kind of emergency he obviously doesn't want to see me again. I know I'm better off without someone who can be so cruel but the bit of hope that I have left hurts. It doesn't feel quite over because I'm still waiting for a text or call. I'm surprised how much it hurts after such a brief time with him. It doesn't make me want to open up to anyone else. Has this happened to you and how did you get past it without losing faith in humanity?

    I've had this happen to me. I know how it hurts, but if you've sent him texts and he's not responding, don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know he hurt you. I think ghosting is the most childish thing a grown person can do if they don't want to see someone anymore. The last time this happened to me, after 2 texts and no response, my final text to him was along the lines of "you may be in your 30's, but you act like a childish little *kitten* for not manning up and telling me you weren't interested." It's hard to let your guard down something like this. I still haven't completely opened to anyone. What I tell a new guy is nothing more than what I share on here. I'm very open about my medical issues, if they can't handle it, then deuces. Hang in there sweetie, there is someone out there for you that will treat you like he can't live without you.
  • grayblackmfp
    grayblackmfp Posts: 140 Member
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    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    Ghosting sucks and it's a cowardly thing to do but I can't help but wonder, what if something happened to him and he's laying in a hospital somewhere or worse...dead! I know that's horrible but I always give people the benefit of the doubt before I write them off forever. That's the only 'excuse' aside from he's just not that into you.

    I don't know if he is ok. I know it's unlikely but he might not be. We have no mutual friends so no one would tell me if he wasn't.

    He's 46 so I'd have thought he was more mature than just doing a disappearing act. I've sent him a letter today asking why he's avoiding me and saying I'd like him to communicate. I won't contact him again and will try and get busy with my life instead of moping.

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