Ghosted
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DasItMan91 wrote: »rachelleahsmom wrote: »DasItMan91 wrote: »Yeah send him one more text, you got nothing to lose now and if he doesn't respond, just move on. If you're a decent-looking woman, it shouldn't be that hard to find another man anyway and how long has it been since he stopped responding to you?
What?!?!? Since when does it matter what someone looks like? This was a horrible response!
Looks matter especially with online dating. I even talked to multiple people about this in real life and they agree with me. Some ugly person is not gonna get alot of messages or matches if any at all. Tinder for example where people will swipe through hundreds of other people, all it takes is seconds for someone to decide if they find you attractive or not, if they do they swipe right, if they don't they swipe left. Even if you write a good bio and they look at it, it doesn't really matter if they don't find you attractive or if you have bad pictures or no pictures. That's how superficial online dating is now quit crying.
Agreed. Online dating is so superficial you can write a fantastic *kitten* profile, but the guys won't read it. They just look at your pictures and message "Hi gorgeous" *kitten* that *kitten*!
Hi !1 -
LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »MrStabbems wrote: »arcornell09 wrote: »You two already sound like you're married.
Too bad he's taken. These two have a lot in common, personality wise.
nothing wrong with a debate every now and then! I get bored on here otherwise.
You did spice it up a bit and I thank you. Serious question though, in the spirit of civil debate: Who do you think benefits most from the societal acceptance and proliferation of - what's been called on this thread - casual sex? Women or men?
Acceptance. Men. Although It is getting much better.
The way in which people go about getting sex is what seems to be bone of contention. If one person wants causal and the other a relationship then those stances should be respected regardless of gender. This is where I think the pain and hurt comes from. Disrespectful ill-disciplined selfish idiots lying or taking advantage of someone else for their own gain.
*kitten*, I agree with you
feels weird right? like you've done something bad but you're not getting in trouble for it.1 -
Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?1 -
Did you sleep with him ?
If so then he got what he wanted
If not then he found someone who will sleep with him [/quote]
That's a really grim point of view. I did sleep with him several times because I wanted to. I'm a single adult.
Anyway I signed up to a different dating site last night and I found him on it and logged on. So I know he's definitely not interested in me and I dodged a bullet. Still hurts yet now I know he's alive and well to other people. He's dead to me.0 -
Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
Um no. That guy doesn't even deserve the time of day.2 -
grayblackmfp wrote: »
Did you sleep with him ?
If so then he got what he wanted
If not then he found someone who will sleep with him
That's a really grim point of view. I did sleep with him several times because I wanted to. I'm a single adult.
Anyway I signed up to a different dating site last night and I found him on it and logged on. So I know he's definitely not interested in me and I dodged a bullet. Still hurts yet now I know he's alive and well to other people. He's dead to me. [/quote]
Ugh. Sorry, but at least you know and can move on to better prospects.
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LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
Um no. That guy doesn't even deserve the time of day.
What a strange phrase. Does that mean if he asked you what time it is, you'd be like "*kitten* off, D-bag!"3 -
Ben_there_done_that wrote: »LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
Um no. That guy doesn't even deserve the time of day.
What a strange phrase. Does that mean if he asked you what time it is, you'd be like "*kitten* off, D-bag!"
Most likely. Nasty cheaters who make fools out of others for their own sexual gratification don't deserve small courtesies.
And before someone says, "well women do it too!!!!", my comment is intentionally gender neutral.3 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
I'd say no. It's very clear why you stopped talking to him.
I'd say she should say one last thing in a Email to his wife so she knows what scum he is and before he gives her a STD and wastes anymore of their bank account on other women.1 -
Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
Not ghosting. You told him you didn't want to be involved. Ghosting is when you stop communicating with no explanation and just disappear.1 -
arcornell09 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
I'd say no. It's very clear why you stopped talking to him.
I'd say she should say one last thing in a Email to his wife so she knows what scum he is and before he gives her a STD and wastes anymore of their bank account on other women.
I don't know. This thread is causing so much trauma since my last two relationships were literally someone ghosting me after six months (met my family, talked about what our kids would look like, talked about moving in together, etc.) and someone dating me for quite some time before telling me he was married. I didn't say anything to his wife because I was so heartbroken and embarrassed. I knew she would most likely turn on me as well and I wanted to forget it happened and move on. It's not our responsibility to inform the wife. Both of us were played in that situation.1 -
grayblackmfp wrote: »
Did you sleep with him ?
If so then he got what he wanted
If not then he found someone who will sleep with him
That's a really grim point of view. I did sleep with him several times because I wanted to. I'm a single adult.
Anyway I signed up to a different dating site last night and I found him on it and logged on. So I know he's definitely not interested in me and I dodged a bullet. Still hurts yet now I know he's alive and well to other people. He's dead to me. [/quote]
I'm sorry that happened and that he treated you so poorly, I know how much it sucks. 0 -
If he can be this dismissive now imagine a life with him. Nope. Just nope, I know it hurts though. xoxo0
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About the age thing: Once we are over 21, age is only a factor if you wish it to be. Some people care, some don't, and some have a broader range of "acceptable" than others. I'm 18 years older than my husband. We've only been married 4 years, but we were friends for several years before the romance began. Neither of us was willing to give up happiness with the other person over the age gap. So we got married and told our respective parents to just suck it up lol.2
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LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »arcornell09 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
I'd say no. It's very clear why you stopped talking to him.
I'd say she should say one last thing in a Email to his wife so she knows what scum he is and before he gives her a STD and wastes anymore of their bank account on other women.
I don't know. This thread is causing so much trauma since my last two relationships were literally someone ghosting me after six months (met my family, talked about what our kids would look like, talked about moving in together, etc.) and someone dating me for quite some time before telling me he was married. I didn't say anything to his wife because I was so heartbroken and embarrassed. I knew she would most likely turn on me as well and I wanted to forget it happened and move on. It's not our responsibility to inform the wife. Both of us were played in that situation.
As a guy, from my perspective that was a complete *kitten* thing for him to do. I can see not doing anything about it if you knew up front that he was married & you still got involved anyhow. There are some folks that prefer relationships like that because it prevents long term entanglements. There's no judging from me in that respect for both men & women that choose that route.
But in a situation like yours, you should have gone to his house while his wife was home & he wasn't, knocked on his door & asked if your boyfriend was home. When she acted confused about what she was hearing, pretend he gave you the impression that his wife was just his housekeeper & clarify that you've been seeing him, then apologize for disturbing her & walk the *kitten* off for good. Let her mull over what just happened & know he's going to reap a hellstorm when he gets home. If he did it to you he'll do it again to someone else.
For the record, there are plenty of women that do this to guys too, just spend time working in a hospital & hang out at a nurses station & you can figure that out. Nearly every damn one of them both men & women. The empty floor had most of the beds constantly messed up from all the "smoke breaks" taken by people that didn't even smoke. LOL It's a two way street.
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LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »arcornell09 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
I'd say no. It's very clear why you stopped talking to him.
I'd say she should say one last thing in a Email to his wife so she knows what scum he is and before he gives her a STD and wastes anymore of their bank account on other women.
I don't know. This thread is causing so much trauma since my last two relationships were literally someone ghosting me after six months (met my family, talked about what our kids would look like, talked about moving in together, etc.) and someone dating me for quite some time before telling me he was married. I didn't say anything to his wife because I was so heartbroken and embarrassed. I knew she would most likely turn on me as well and I wanted to forget it happened and move on. It's not our responsibility to inform the wife. Both of us were played in that situation.LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »arcornell09 wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »Is it considered 'ghosting' if you ignore a guy that you 'dated' but later found out that he was married?
When you did find out that he was married you told him you were not interested in being involved in that situation...and then ignored him...is that still 'ghosting'?
I'd say no. It's very clear why you stopped talking to him.
I'd say she should say one last thing in a Email to his wife so she knows what scum he is and before he gives her a STD and wastes anymore of their bank account on other women.
I don't know. This thread is causing so much trauma since my last two relationships were literally someone ghosting me after six months (met my family, talked about what our kids would look like, talked about moving in together, etc.) and someone dating me for quite some time before telling me he was married. I didn't say anything to his wife because I was so heartbroken and embarrassed. I knew she would most likely turn on me as well and I wanted to forget it happened and move on. It's not our responsibility to inform the wife. Both of us were played in that situation.
I could understand your embarrassment, I would be devastated if that happened to me. Those type of bad relationships can scar you. I see a therapist to help me deal with some of my past relationship issues i've had to help process just what really happened.
As far as the wife finding out I think she has a right to know. My father was a cheat and someone came forward to inform my mother. As hard as it was for her it saved her from his abuse and she was able to start rebuilding sooner than later.1 -
I'm just going to put it out there that psychologists tell you not to go to the spouse in the relationship for many reasons, not the least of which is that you're setting yourself up for a very dangerous situation. If the wife decided to go after me I could have been seriously injured or defamed. It's nice to tell someone what they should have done when you haven't been in that situation, but there is no way to tell how the spouse would react. I'm a relatively petite woman, so I make sure I do not put myself in situations in which it is impossible to protect myself.
Edit to add: he knew where I lived and had all of my contact information, so he very well could have come after me in anger too.
Also, I know women do it too. See my earlier post where I said exactly that.1 -
LaPrincipessaFedele wrote: »I'm just going to put it out there that psychologists tell you not to go to the spouse in the relationship for many reasons, not the least of which is that you're setting yourself up for a very dangerous situation. If the wife decided to go after me I could have been seriously injured or defamed. It's nice to tell someone what they should have done when you haven't been in that situation, but there is no way to tell how the spouse would react. I'm a relatively petite woman, so I make sure I do not put myself in situations in which it is impossible to protect myself.
Edit to add: he knew where I lived and had all of my contact information, so he very well could have come after me in anger too.
Also, I know women do it too. See my earlier post where I said exactly that.
This is true. A lot of people are armed. Why create extra problems for yourself. Cheaters will be caught sooner or later.1 -
People won't always tell you how they feel..but they will show you...ghosting sucks but let's be honest hun..even if he said he I'm not into you...that hurts too. I'd say let it go and do something nice for yourself1
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I lost half of my post ugh...I meant to also say the chances something happened to him are really small so don't let your mind go there...also there's someone else meant for you..and this guy just got out of his way...hugs
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