Parents on here I need advice, my daughter is seeing a guy way older than her

lookat6

My daughter is 22 she has been seeing a 31 year old male at her job in a warehouse for five months he is always coming over here and stopping by to see her and he takes her out about once a week every week for the past few months and I want to know what he sees in my daughter to want to take her out. My daughter is 22 and she still lives at home and my daughter doesn't have much guy experience either.
She works but that's about it. This guy from her job that takes her out has bought her a gift from bath and body works and he takes her out to eat and buys her food but, honestly I think he's using her my daughter eleven though she looks happy when she goes out with him and she talks about him a lot but I'm not sure. I'm weary because 9 times out of 10 when the age gap is this big I'm pretty sure he's after one thing and I wanna protect my daughter. I try to tell my daughter that she is being gullible and that he doesn't want her like she wants him. I feel like my daughter is desperate and putting herself on him. I rather her date someone who is at the most five years older.
I don't think his intentions are genuine and I'm pretty sure he can't find someone his age that's why he wants my daughter. I don't mind her dating but not a guy this older. I honestly think she is either being used or potentially going to get her feelings really her with this guy. She is emotionally immature and isn't ready for him. He is way far along in life than she is and I told my daughter to not lose her virginity to this old man!
I try to teach my daughter to not be impressed by the little things guys do but it seems like she fell for him and I have a bad feeling about this.

BattleRopes

Is she freeloading or does she contribute to the household, via rent or chores? If she's freeloading, then you've the power; to forbid her to see him or you'll force her to leave. However if you force her to leave, she might then live; with him. If she's contributing to the household, to reside there; then she's your tenant & you've no right to tell her whom, she's able; to see or even, to set; a curfew.

ThatFrigginGuy99

My sister was 17 when she started dating an older guy. My dad threw a fit about it. She ended up marrying the older guy and he has treated her as a queen the whole way.
Your daughter may just want somebody who has passed all their 20's immature crap. He may have it together, I don't know him.
I've thought about this with my daughter (9) and what I would do. I've consistently come down to if he is not hurting her, there is nothing I can do. She will be old enough to live her life and deal with these things. It may not be your way, and bless you for wanting to protect her, but she needs to find her own way... it may be for the best. Good luck.

fanoflasvegas

I was almost 21 and my husband was almost 30 when we met. He wasn't after just one thing. Despite the age difference we had lots in common. Now we've been together for thirty years. Married for 17 and have a daughter. (Now that I'm almost 51 and he's almost 60 the age difference doesn't seem that big). I think your daughter will figure it out if he is just using her for "one thing".

iammichele

My daughter is 23 and makes some pretty horrendously bad choices as well regarding many topics one being the man who she dates who has two previous domestic violence incidences (per the court records) on two other women. My daughter won't listen, lacks common sense, lacks good judgement, therefore I feel your pain. The problem is, as others mentioned, they are adults. We can't "ground them" or make their choices for them, as they are adults and are legally permitted to date who they choose to date regardless if it's a bad choice or not. The more I push my daughter to be smarter about her choices the more she plunges ahead in the opposite direction. I am sorry though, as I know first hand how stressful it is to see our "adult" children make stupid decisions. It sounds like you have let her know what you think, and how you feel and really all you can do now is focus on keeping yourself happy and healthy. Hang in there and take care of yourself right now.

DreDay46

Experience is the best teacher. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. All you can do is try to support her the best you can, but if you try to control her then you will end up pushing her away.

CINDYR776

iammichele wrote: »

My daughter is 23 and makes some pretty horrendously bad choices as well regarding many topics one being the man who she dates who has two previous domestic violence incidences (per the court records) on two other women. My daughter won't listen, lacks common sense, lacks good judgement, therefore I feel your pain. The problem is, as others mentioned, they are adults. We can't "ground them" or make their choices for them, as they are adults and are legally permitted to date who they choose to date regardless if it's a bad choice or not. The more I push my daughter to be smarter about her choices the more she plunges ahead in the opposite direction. I am sorry though, as I know first hand how stressful it is to see our "adult" children make stupid decisions. It sounds like you have let her know what you think, and how you feel and really all you can do now is focus on keeping yourself happy and healthy. Hang in there and take care of yourself right now.

^^^This....ALLLLLL of this.

crushingitdaily12345

I would be more concerned with who he is as a person, instead of how old he is. If you have done your job as a parent, she will know who is acceptable to be with.