children's diet and the obesity crisis

delicious_cocktail

I'm not sure how many of these people offering alternatives are being serious.

From my perspective the best thing to do is just pay attention. If your daughter is offered unhealthy foods by a friend or friends family, it's not reasonable for the OP to have to tell the other child's parents what foods are acceptable for her child. That would just make everyone upset.

The best thing to do is just talk to your daughter, keep vigilant, and make sure that once another child is identified as a "junk food pusher", that child is eliminated from your daughter's life.

The ideal state will be that your child only associates with other children who eat a specific diet. Anything else is going to make her corrupted on the inside.

llstacy

teaching kids the benefits of healthy eating, regular exercise and that treats are ok once in a while might be a way to solve the obesity crisis.

Not to mention type 2 diabetes, kidney disease, heart disease, back, hip, knee, joint problems, narcotic dependence etc etc.
You can all argue with me and tell me how wrong I am and how I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I see it every day at work.
I've been a nurse for over 25 years and when I first started, I saw the above diseases in MUCH older people.
There were no bariatric beds or wheelchairs.
Yes, there were some people who were overweight and obese but nothing like now.
30 year old non-compliant diabetic in full blown kidney failure, on dialysis, both legs amputated below the knee, not expected to see his 31st birthday.
Men and women in their 30s and 40s who are 400, 500, 600 pounds.
Can barely wheel themselves into the dining room to eat a restricted calorie meal only to have family and friends bringing in all kinds of junk/fast food.
Their joints in so much pain that their days literally revolve around the next dose of Oxycodone.
Surgical wounds that can't heal properly and dehisce, leaving them in the nursing home for months to get IV antibiotics and dressing changes in hopes of healing so they can go home.
They can't work. They can't raise their kids.
And all of it could have been prevented.
With a healthy diet and regular exercise.
Is it really too far of a reach to want to start our kids down a healthy path?

They only appear to be killing themselves with food. As long as they have a good personality and enjoy the junk food with their friends and family that's a good thing. I mean how often are you in the hospital anyway? It's a special occasion!

I can't change who my family is (and wouldn't even if I could) but I refuse to let my kids grow up around morbidly obese people and their food habits without making sure they know exactly why it's not okay to eat that way.

Oishii

We've taught my son that when you are at someone else's house you follow their rules. He does not have to finish all of what's on his plate at our house, although I will make him finish the vegetables or make him keep eating if it's obvious that he is just desperate to go and play instead. At my cousin's he has to finish it all. This was causing a problem because he didn't want to finish and would get upset. Finally we worked out why: on the way home they had two 'snack stops', then when they got home they had a 'snack bowl', so, even though these snacks were mainly healthy, he wasn't actually hungry for his main meal. Having worked this out, with him present, he chose to start turning down some snacks so that he would be hungry enough for his main meal. Returning control of his appetite to him ended the fighting. He's 5, and as you can see above, his own kind of awkward (:laugh:), but through this experience he is learning useful skills of adaptation and negotiation.

We are probably just lucky he has a strong dislike for being over-full. I'm not going to assume it's my parenting that sets him apart, and who knows what his little brother will be like. In different conversations, both his best friend and his cousin have told me their favourite thing is food, while he asked me once 'People don't like eating, do they?' because even though there is food he likes, he would much rather be playing or reading.

I'm not sure I can say anything to help you, OP, but if your daughter has already internalised your beliefs on food, maybe she can learn to say 'No thank you' all by herself.

kimbtaylor1

I'm not sure how to take the OP but I do understand the point she is trying to make. I have three wonderful boys and for the most part they eat very healthy. Do we have pizza night once a week...heck yeah! Are they allowed "junk" from time to time, of course. The important thing behind what your child eats is if they are willing to pick the healthier choice if given the opportunity. Its not about what we force feed them but what they will eat when we are not around. One of my boys is very picky on what he will eat and I struggle with him to eat healthy but we manage. And I am very proud to say when given a choice between candy and fruit they almost always go for the fruit.

Now when they are at a friends house would I get upset if the parents only offered sugary drinks and junk food? Not a bit, I know that that one night is not going to hurt them. Not to mention, it will be those parents who have to deal with the effect of all the sugar....not me. So to the OP, from one mom to another, just remember you have your child most of the time and you teach her eating habits not just "mommies rules". She will make the right choice. As far as kids coming into your home eating junk.....their parents know they are eating it so just let it be. Just don't let the lollie get stuck to the back of the couch.

YaGigi

Meh. I teach my kids that junk food isn't everyday food and that too much makes you fat and sick. We even point out the examples of that in our friends and family. They feel bad for the people who don't have good food to eat or don't know any better and that's exactly the way I want it.

I'm sure that you didn't mean for this to come off as arrogant and judgemental as it did, and have taught your kids to have respect, love, and compassion for your friends and family rather than pity, which is a far more important lesson than eating habits.

No, I meant pity. I happen to think being fat and sick is a terrible way to live and with junk food normalized and available constantly it's my job to teach them how to eat responsibly.

Definition of PITY
1
a : sympathetic sorrow for one suffering, distressed, or unhappy
b : capacity to feel pity
2
: something to be regretted

I pity your children then.

Why is that? Because the parents care about their kids health and development?

That forum amuses me. So many people here trying to lose 100-200 pounds because they gained weight due to unhealthy habits developed from the childhood. Yet they judge parents for teaching kids to be healthy and smart about food choices.

Unfortunately in America parents have the obligation to teach their kids about food choices because it seems like most of the society can give a crap about this.

And it's not just about calories, it's about kids growing healthy! They can't be healthy if they eat pizza and donuts!

YaGigi

I agree with the OP. How can an adult have healthy food habits if they were raised on heaps of processed foods. I don't know, could be that I'm from Europe, but the notion of so many posters here implying that processed foods are part of growing up and a normal part of a child's diet really surprises me. I mean, I was not raised on fast food, don't like Macs and similar, yeah, have love for pizzas and pasta, they are culturally part of the environment where I come from, and I can only say I am grateful for my parents on how they took care of my diet since I must say, resetting my eating habits back to what is healthy for me isn't a process of denying myself. Feels more like eating foods I was raised on, so it's pretty much comfy and yummy.

Edit to add: No, I don't have children. So I took the post from an adult's perspective and not from the parenting point of view.

Yup, I agree it's very much cultural differences.

I must say that I gained weight when I first moved to America and developed new eating habits.

kimbtaylor1

I agree with the OP. How can an adult have healthy food habits if they were raised on heaps of processed foods. I don't know, could be that I'm from Europe, but the notion of so many posters here implying that processed foods are part of growing up and a normal part of a child's diet really surprises me. I mean, I was not raised on fast food, don't like Macs and similar, yeah, have love for pizzas and pasta, they are culturally part of the environment where I come from, and I can only say I am grateful for my parents on how they took care of my diet since I must say, resetting my eating habits back to what is healthy for me isn't a process of denying myself. Feels more like eating foods I was raised on, so it's pretty much comfy and yummy.

Edit to add: No, I don't have children. So I took the post from an adult's perspective and not from the parenting point of view.

Yup, I agree it's very much cultural differences.

I must say that I gained weight when I first moved to America and developed new eating habits.

As a parent my eating habits changed after I had kids. I grew up eating home cooked meals but they were all southern foods. Momma fried EVERYTHING! I tried to give healthier choices. It was only after I started trying to loose weight did I drasticly change. I do not believe that processed foods are a part of anyone's "normal childhood"....I didn't have it and I was normal. Now you may not think eating everything fried is normal but to me it was. However, the junk food is sadly here to stay. It is our jobs as parents to teach our children how to eat healthy. No poster on a website will change my mind about how I feed my children, just as I do not plan on changing anyone elses mind on feeding theirs. If parents would just teach children how to pick the healthy choices instead of shamming, forceing, scareing, or pitiing food choices then our children will become healthy eaters.

If a child is not allowed to try what thier friends are having with mom around....they will binge on it when she isn't around. Everyting in moderation is the only way I could live my life and stay healthy and that is exactly what I'm teaching my kids.

alyngard

I agree with many of the posters on here. My daughter is 10 and a few years back she started getting a bit pudgy ("coincidentally" it coincided with me packing on the pounds too. Needless to say, it is my job as her parent to teach her healthy eating habits, and that is what I've done. She is no longer pudgy and eats what the grownups eat. She tries everything I put in front of her (even if it's chickpeas and lentils) without fuss. For the most part she no longer eats processed food (well it's limited anyway), at least at home. However I do make exceptions when she has a friend over (I will buy them some ice cream for dessert etc) and I also don't forbid her to eat certain foods when she is out with friends. She has on occasion gorged on junk food at friend's parties, but has paid the price for it by being sick for the entire next day. She is learning that although those foods taste good, they can (if eaten to excess) make you feel pretty sick. Children are going to be exposed to unhealthy foods whether you like it or not, so instead of forbidding it, it's better to give them to tools to make the right choices for themselves, and maybe sometimes that means they will choose the junk, you just have to hope that they will make the healthy choices the majority of the time.

Also, I think telling other parents not to give her certain foods will only offend them and ostracize your daughter, best to just keep it to yourself and make sure she eats a bit healthier when she is around you.

YaGigi

I agree with many of the posters on here. My daughter is 10 and a few years back she started getting a bit pudgy ("coincidentally" it coincided with me packing on the pounds too. Needless to say, it is my job as her parent to teach her healthy eating habits, and that is what I've done. She is no longer pudgy and eats what the grownups eat. She tries everything I put in front of her (even if it's chickpeas and lentils) without fuss. For the most part she no longer eats processed food (well it's limited anyway), at least at home. However I do make exceptions when she has a friend over (I will buy them some ice cream for dessert etc) and I also don't forbid her to eat certain foods when she is out with friends. She has on occasion gorged on junk food at friend's parties, but has paid the price for it by being sick for the entire next day. She is learning that although those foods taste good, they can (if eaten to excess) make you feel pretty sick. Children are going to be exposed to unhealthy foods whether you like it or not, so instead of forbidding it, it's better to give them to tools to make the right choices for themselves, and maybe sometimes that means they will choose the junk, you just have to hope that they will make the healthy choices the majority of the time.

Also, I think telling other parents not to give her certain foods will only offend them and ostracize your daughter, best to just keep it to yourself and make sure she eats a bit healthier when she is around you.

But would it be possible to ask the other parents to include some healthy food? So the kids have options, and instead soda or pizza they would have fresh juices, mineral water and chicken or fish? And also add fruits instead of cakes and candies.

NattG525

I think for sleepovers etc, a bit of junk is acceptable. You don't want to wrap your children up in cotton wool. Too much of anything is a bad thing, be it unhealthy food or healthy food. I think the post came across as a bit judgemental, and you should really look into the backgrounds of the specific children you are judging first...

However, I do agree that childhood obesity is a major issue. I wasn't particularly fed the right foods growing up, and as a result I made bad choices in my teenage years landing me where I am right now. But I am on a road to change. It is difficult when junk food seems to cost less than anything you can get in the fruit and veg aisle, but I've found ways to save money with that. I certainly won't be feeding my daughter rubbish, but I won't be depriving her of eating crap at a sleepover either.

mspoopoo

Yup, I agree it's very much cultural differences.

I must say that I gained weight when I first moved to America and developed new eating habits.

It is a cultural thing and social conditioning. Marketing in the US has people convinced the junk food is a necessary part of their lives.

When I went to the US, I couldn't believe how many commercials constantly run on tv for unhealthy foods and also for drugs. It was just the strangest thing to see. Oh and the personal injury lawyer ads lol.

After being exposed to that over and over, no wonder people think the SAD is normal.

I recall passing a bus stop in the morning and seeing a father feeding probably a 7 year old a soda and crisps. I couldn't believe it.

I would hope if I send my child somewhere to spend the night, the parents wouldn't harm my child. I would hope a parent wouldn't insist a child with a peanut allergy have just one because they don't want my kid to be deprived of peanuts. or alcohol , drugs, and pornography because they don't want my child to be deprived.

I'm not trying to offend anyone with what I am saying but just wanted to explain that the rest of the world really does not eat the way Americans do.

LittleMissDover

I'm really surprised that people have been well extremely judgemental right back on this website of all places, I would have thought if I was worked up about something like this MFP would be the place to post!

YOU'RE surprised by judgemental people?

You see snapshot of the way other people feed their children and judge. One of my children won't eat boiled potatoes and peas but she will eat all other forms of potatoes, a ton of other veg, fruit and salad, she hates any form of breadcrumb coated 'child food'.

My other two kids have fish fingers and chicken nuggets, tell me what's so bad about chicken/fish and breadcrumbs baked in the oven?

My kids have treats, they eat a lot of fruit and veg and dessert is usually yogurt but when they have friends round yes, I get cupcakes and ice creams.

Childhood obesity is an issue yes, but you simply cannot judge a family from witnessing a couple of meals. Feel free to ask people to limit the junk for your child but bear this in mind, my mother was VERY strict with treats, so when I was old enough to have pocket money and then moved out and bought my own food I overdid them and gained weight at that point. She thought she was doing me a favour eliminating junk from my diet but in fact she caused even more issues.

Everything in moderation and for me, sweets, cake or ice cream every day is fine as the rest of their meals are well balanced.

Judging people never ends well.

BonnieandClyde29

make them ruuunnn!!!!!lol

scottaworley

Bump to read later.
ETA: Boiled potatoes and peas? Who would even start to feed that to their child?

BeccaBollons

I think its rude to send a child to a sleepover with bags of sweets. If I was to send my child to a sleepover I would send some treats for everyone to enjoy, and my daughter would hand it to the host to decide when to distribute said treats. I do this for playdates but so far we have not crossed the sleepover bridge! (She's 6)
When kids come to my house for a playdate, they eat what we eat, but as with any guest, I might get something special for desert or make a cake. I feel that providing enjoyable food is part of being a good host, whether the guest is a child or adult.

Edit to add: no guest would EVER receive boiled potatoes- mash on occasion, but never plain boiled. Ugh!

JenniferPlus2

Have you ever considered that maybe you are just lucky that you have a very compliant daughter who has a good temerment and eats what you give her?

Some kids JUST WONT EAT food they don't want, and will starve themselves until given something they consider palatable. As a parent when you are faced with a child that throws temper tantrums and just wont eat anything healthy you give them even if they haven't had anything substantial all day, you are going to just give them something they will eat because you rather they eat junk than starve.

And don't tell me that just because your kid will eat because she knows she wont get anything else that every kid will do this.They don't. It can be very stressful and very difficult and it gets even worse when other self righteous parents that got lucky come in and smugly tell you what to do because clearly THEY are doing everything right.

Having had 2 children, one extremely compliant and one extremely defiant, I have to agree that you were just lucky to get a mild mannered child. My son would eat whatever I gave him and always listened and did what he was told. My daughter however...same parents same parenting etc....kids are all different.

Reptileszz

I agree with this 100%.

Florawanda

Men and women in their 30s and 40s who are 400, 500, 600 pounds.
Can barely wheel themselves into the dining room to eat a restricted calorie meal only to have family and friends bringing in all kinds of junk/fast food.
Their joints in so much pain that their days literally revolve around the next dose of Oxycodone.
Surgical wounds that can't heal properly and dehisce, leaving them in the nursing home for months to get IV antibiotics and dressing changes in hopes of healing so they can go home.
They can't work. They can't raise their kids.
And all of it could have been prevented.
With a healthy diet and regular exercise.
Is it really too far of a reach to want to start our kids down a healthy path?

The OP has raised a real issue, even though maybe she is setting a high standard, which makes her seem judgemental.
I remember when we lived in USA back in the 1970s, being shocked when my six year old DS1 had friends round, who seemed to think it was normal to help themselves to anything in our fridge at any time in their visit without checking first that it was OK. I think it is best to teach your children from the first the need for a healthy diet - so my four knew about protein, carbohydrates and Vitamin C from babyhood, and the need for a balance. I would tell them tales of sailors getting scurvy, and why Australians called the English 'limeys' because some sensible captains of some ships stocked up with citrus fruit to keep scurvy away! And they do now all serve balanced meals in their homes.
The difficult thing is that commenting on how other parents raise their children is a really sensitive issue. When our GC come to stay, they know that eating crisps before a meal in our home is a no-no, but at my DS2's home it is accepted - so they then often are not hungry for the meal. Our GD2 never eats the crusts from her bread, but knows she has to at our home! When we stay with our DS2, it is up to my DiL and him to lay down the rules in their home!! I just hope that they will learn from our example.
And certainly, my GC have been following my weight loss with interest, and I discuss it openly with them, and share with them that I hope I will be around still at their weddings! And they join me sometimes in my morning exercises.
Finally, most UK schools and nurseries are becoming really good about providing healthy meals, teaching parents who have bad habits, and educating the children.
Slowly I hope we can turn it round, as the cost to our health services of obesity is huge!

YaGigi

Yup, I agree it's very much cultural differences.

I must say that I gained weight when I first moved to America and developed new eating habits.

It is a cultural thing and social conditioning. Marketing in the US has people convinced the junk food is a necessary part of their lives.

When I went to the US, I couldn't believe how many commercials constantly run on tv for unhealthy foods and also for drugs. It was just the strangest thing to see. Oh and the personal injury lawyer ads lol.

After being exposed to that over and over, no wonder people think the SAD is normal.

I recall passing a bus stop in the morning and seeing a father feeding probably a 7 year old a soda and crisps. I couldn't believe it.

I would hope if I send my child somewhere to spend the night, the parents wouldn't harm my child. I would hope a parent wouldn't insist a child with a peanut allergy have just one because they don't want my kid to be deprived of peanuts. or alcohol , drugs, and pornography because they don't want my child to be deprived.

I'm not trying to offend anyone with what I am saying but just wanted to explain that the rest of the world really does not eat the way Americans do.

Oh yeah. Imagine my shock when I saw 3 years olds having it in kindergarden. Soda and crisps were their regular food, alone with pizza,pickles, candies and cookies. No oatmeal, no soups, no veggies and fruits.
It's not just about the weight of that child anymore, it's about digestive system, diabetes, and etc.

YaGigi

Men and women in their 30s and 40s who are 400, 500, 600 pounds.
Can barely wheel themselves into the dining room to eat a restricted calorie meal only to have family and friends bringing in all kinds of junk/fast food.
Their joints in so much pain that their days literally revolve around the next dose of Oxycodone.
Surgical wounds that can't heal properly and dehisce, leaving them in the nursing home for months to get IV antibiotics and dressing changes in hopes of healing so they can go home.
They can't work. They can't raise their kids.
And all of it could have been prevented.
With a healthy diet and regular exercise.
Is it really too far of a reach to want to start our kids down a healthy path?

The OP has raised a real issue, even though maybe she is setting a high standard, which makes her seem judgemental.
I remember when we lived in USA back in the 1970s, being shocked when my six year old DS1 had friends round, who seemed to think it was normal to help themselves to anything in our fridge at any time in their visit without checking first that it was OK. I think it is best to teach your children from the first the need for a healthy diet - so my four knew about protein, carbohydrates and Vitamin C from babyhood, and the need for a balance. I would tell them tales of sailors getting scurvy, and why Australians called the English 'limeys' because some sensible captains of some ships stocked up with citrus fruit to keep scurvy away! And they do now all serve balanced meals in their homes.
The difficult thing is that commenting on how other parents raise their children is a really sensitive issue. When our GC come to stay, they know that eating crisps before a meal in our home is a no-no, but at my DS2's home it is accepted - so they then often are not hungry for the meal. Our GD2 never eats the crusts from her bread, but knows she has to at our home! When we stay with our DS2, it is up to my DiL and him to lay down the rules in their home!! I just hope that they will learn from our example.
And certainly, my GC have been following my weight loss with interest, and I discuss it openly with them, and share with them that I hope I will be around still at their weddings! And they join me sometimes in my morning exercises.
Finally, most UK schools and nurseries are becoming really good about providing healthy meals, teaching parents who have bad habits, and educating the children.
Slowly I hope we can turn it round, as the cost to our health services of obesity is huge!

Lol, I was told these scurvy sailor stories too!

Also, in my kindergarden we had to have vitamins, and fish oil. But that fish oil wasn't in a pill. It was pure fish oil from a spoon that tasted hoooooooorrible.
Even though I hated it, I still was drinking it. Since that time in childhood I developed that habit of having vitamins and fish oil. I regularly take fish oil, well, almost regularly, and now it's in pills of course. Maybe that's why most people think I'm 18-20 when I'm 32 already.