Need some tips for avoiding the office treats
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TavistockToad wrote: »skymningen wrote: ». I have previously asked her decrease how often she was baking and she did for a few weeks.
Decide how often you want to have a treat or which of the stuff you would definitely not want to miss out on. She seemed to be understanding before, so just explain to her, that you think her stuff is delicious but that it is too much of a temptation for you as you are trying to limit your calorie intake. Ask her to only offer you something as often as you decided you would want it (like once a week, twice a month, whatever), and maybe preferably on your favorite stuff (so you would not miss out on that). She hopefully will be happy that there is some of her stuff so awesome even a weight conscious person does not want to pass on and that she can help. And she hopefully will remember to not tempt you too often.
its not up to the person baking to stop OP from eating it...
I understand what you're saying, and agree with you, but the person who responded above was trying to work out the social problem of turning people down or putting a limit on calorie rich food.
The social aspect is a minefield in offices. Sometimes a simple no thanks will offend people -- they will think you're cold and in the end you have to work with these people.
I claim health problems, which people accept, but not everybody can or wants to do that.
I actually hate all the sweets in offices and doctor offices. You go to the doctor or take a family member there and find candy all over the reception room and sweets in the treatment rooms. I don't know how the nurses work there.
I think the social thing requires work from both parties though. It's just as unhelpful for the baker to get offended by a "no, thanks" as it is for people to throw good food out because they can't say that.4 -
MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Just curious why you feel you have to say no? Is it possible to budget in an occassional treat?
That's what I do. This morning I moved my prelogged afternoon snack to tomorrow and instead I had the treat.
I couldn't say no, the lady who brought it in today brought it baked it because it's her last day.0 -
MarylandRose wrote: »Rosemary7391 wrote: »TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »People bringing food to work to share should be banned. It's never healthy. Co-workers just want to make you fat so they can look better.
Actually, I just enjoy baking, and my coworkers enjoy eating. This seems like a win win situation to both me and them! Plus they like their fancy birthday cakes. It doesn't bother me if folks say no thanks either, or take bits home, or whatever. It would seem quite selfish for one person to insist I stopped when everyone else involved enjoys it. I'd happily support someone who wanted to eat less though, I can definitely understand that, eg by baking their favorites less often, not directly offering it, trying to bring things on their days off instead etc. But I'm the only one with a serious weight problem in my office so it's mostly me declining things/taking smaller portions.
Yup, my two main stress responses are cleaning and baking. If the house is clean, I bake. But I have next to no sweet tooth, so if I don't take it in to work, it'll just get tossed, which is a waste.
I would not ever, ever, ever ask a coworker to stop bringing in food to share because it tempts me. That to me crosses so many lines of what is and isn't within my control or my right to ask, and takes away my own agency and responsibility for my body and life. When I bring in food, I take no offense if people pass, or people take it home, or take two, or take half, or whatever else. I would be offended if someone came up to me and asked me to bake less - that'd be like them telling me to do yoga less, or anything else I do on my own time for myself. They're under no obligation to eat what's in the kitchen. The other thing is that you don't know other peoples' lives and don't have the right to control your coworkers - there have been times when the catering tray someone brought in saved my day, because I'd forgotten my lunch, or we have a colleague who is currently undergoing chemo and needs to eat literally anything that appeals to her because she has no appetite, and then some folks are bulking or just don't care. That's up to them, and I don't try to control them by controlling what's on the Free Food table.
Sorry, I'm so glad I don't work at your office. If you are constantly bringing in baked goods because you don't want them, you're like a food pusher. It's like bringing in heroin every week for some people. YES, it's all our own responsibility to eat/not eat but you make it hard for people who struggle. I don't want to insult you, I don't mean I'd really hate to work with you, but maybe make things you yourself like to eat. It's kind of mean, for people who have such a hard time. Birthdays are one thing, but bringing random baked goods all the time - you don't know what you're doing to people. Maybe find a food kitchen or senior citizen's home and spread the wealth a little.
We spend so much time at work, having co-workers who surround you with sabotaging food (I don't mean deliberate sabotage) feels very similar to a spouse/family member who constantly brings home the crap you can't eat but have a hard time resisting.
I know I'll take heat for this and I DO agree that it is ultimately our own responsibility, but being surrounded by this stuff is toxic for some of us, no matter how well-meaning you are.
No. Seriously it isn't.12 -
TavistockToad wrote: »skymningen wrote: ». I have previously asked her decrease how often she was baking and she did for a few weeks.
Decide how often you want to have a treat or which of the stuff you would definitely not want to miss out on. She seemed to be understanding before, so just explain to her, that you think her stuff is delicious but that it is too much of a temptation for you as you are trying to limit your calorie intake. Ask her to only offer you something as often as you decided you would want it (like once a week, twice a month, whatever), and maybe preferably on your favorite stuff (so you would not miss out on that). She hopefully will be happy that there is some of her stuff so awesome even a weight conscious person does not want to pass on and that she can help. And she hopefully will remember to not tempt you too often.
its not up to the person baking to stop OP from eating it...
This^
I have a co-worker who has a candy dish in her office.....filled with chocolate kisses. It's her office she can do whatever she likes.
I'm so jealous of people who can have it right in front of them and not polish it off within a day. How inthe world it's possible? Lol1 -
I don't have this problem now but have when I was not overweight. I simply did not eat them if I didn't want them. I liked the suggestion of cutting down by having a sweet every other day, instead of every day. I discovered a chocolate biscotti that I liked this week, so I had to cut out something else to eat it. It was a better option than a coffee cake with an afternoon coffee. I did this again yesterday, but it was a day when I don't work out as much and so I was hungry in the evening. For the 170 calories of that biscotto I could have had a small salad, humus and carrots, an apple, and other things that would have been more filling. I will think twice about it in the future. It was delicious but not worth it to do on a regular basis. I can eat it when I work out heavy and have extra calories to eat that day. The same thing goes for the Hershey's kisses in the lobby in my building. 4 of them are 88 calories and I can eat a cucumber or watermelon and it is more filling.
But I think if I were in the OP's situation NOW, when I'm trying to lose weight I would have to log in a notebook every time I passed up the baked goods and pay myself at the end of the month! Say, $1.00 for every time I didn't indulge. If this person brings in treats a few times a week this would add up! I'd put the money away at the end of the month and then in my next "milestone" of weight loss (next 10 or 20 lbs.) buy a new blouse or work out pants, earrings, something to reward but not food.2 -
Rosemary7391 wrote: »lindseymartin1 wrote: »This is my biggest issue. I work in a Dental Practice! Yet there is a constant supply of cakes, biscuits and chocolate. Last year we did a 'bake off' where we each picked a week to bake a cake and bring it to be judged. There are 14 members of staff so we had cake every week for 14 weeks and I kid you not I gained 10lbs. Most staff members take a small slither, I take a chunk and go back for more each day. We are about to start bake off 2017!!
Considering not even sitting in at lunch break and going for a walk instead to avoid temptation.
I'm the biggest person at the practice and its become a standing joke about how much I eat
I would LOVE to show them all!
That's rough with them joking about it
Just out of interest, I calculated the calories in my favourite celebration cake recipe+decoration.... yikes. 23000 for the whole thing. Admittedly not every calorie will make it from bowl/pan/board to the actual cake, but yeah... there's a reason that one gets cut up small enough to do a little piece for everyone at church! About 40 servings. More than half the calories are the outer layers - it's cake, then a 1/4 inch of chocolate ganache, then fondant. Maybe skipping the frosting might help control the calories a bit? I don't mind folks taking that off but I'd be miffed if entire pieces went in the bin - especially at work, since we have enough people on our floor that it always goes.
I hate wasting food and do not appreciate it, even if it's not mine. To me, if you don't want the piece of cake or whatever it might be, don't take it just to toss it out when no one is looking. You can say something nice to the person offering it, and politely decline. Someone else might enjoy it, it's much better this way.4 -
Say no to her offer but say no to yourself more. I've been there, and really the most you can do is say no and try not to give into the pressure. I've had that a lot at work with people bringing snacks in (last week someone gifted a load of brownies and chocolate filled crepes, a box of miniature chocolates, all of which I love) so it can be pretty hard, I understand. Just try not to give into temptation and ask her if she makes them not to offer you any but she might feel rude by not doing so. Just politely decline and say "maybe next time".0
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I find it interesting that you felt it was okay to ask her to stop baking/bringing treats. I find that rude. She obviously has a baking hobby and is kind enough to spend her money on ingredients and her time on baking and is thoughtful enough to share. This is her way of showing kindness. I personally don't ever bake and don't ever bring goodies to work cause it's a lot of money and time I just don't want to spend on my coworkers. But if I did, I would be super upset if someone told me to stop because of their own personal issues with food.7
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It's thoughtful,when someone bakes something nice for office mates. I'll eat it if it seems special and it's worth it. It's rude when people bring a half a birthday cake left over from their kids weekend party and just want it out of their house. And kinda gross, so I won't eat it.
It's also nice, when all the delicious baked crap is confined to an area that isn't mandatory to access. I can survive without going in the break room, but I have to walk by the reception desk. Clearly, I have a hard time with this too.4 -
MarylandRose wrote: »Rosemary7391 wrote: »TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »People bringing food to work to share should be banned. It's never healthy. Co-workers just want to make you fat so they can look better.
Actually, I just enjoy baking, and my coworkers enjoy eating. This seems like a win win situation to both me and them! Plus they like their fancy birthday cakes. It doesn't bother me if folks say no thanks either, or take bits home, or whatever. It would seem quite selfish for one person to insist I stopped when everyone else involved enjoys it. I'd happily support someone who wanted to eat less though, I can definitely understand that, eg by baking their favorites less often, not directly offering it, trying to bring things on their days off instead etc. But I'm the only one with a serious weight problem in my office so it's mostly me declining things/taking smaller portions.
Yup, my two main stress responses are cleaning and baking. If the house is clean, I bake. But I have next to no sweet tooth, so if I don't take it in to work, it'll just get tossed, which is a waste.
I would not ever, ever, ever ask a coworker to stop bringing in food to share because it tempts me. That to me crosses so many lines of what is and isn't within my control or my right to ask, and takes away my own agency and responsibility for my body and life. When I bring in food, I take no offense if people pass, or people take it home, or take two, or take half, or whatever else. I would be offended if someone came up to me and asked me to bake less - that'd be like them telling me to do yoga less, or anything else I do on my own time for myself. They're under no obligation to eat what's in the kitchen. The other thing is that you don't know other peoples' lives and don't have the right to control your coworkers - there have been times when the catering tray someone brought in saved my day, because I'd forgotten my lunch, or we have a colleague who is currently undergoing chemo and needs to eat literally anything that appeals to her because she has no appetite, and then some folks are bulking or just don't care. That's up to them, and I don't try to control them by controlling what's on the Free Food table.
Sorry, I'm so glad I don't work at your office. If you are constantly bringing in baked goods because you don't want them, you're like a food pusher. It's like bringing in heroin every week for some people.
It's really, really, really not. No matter what food issues we all have, it is nothing like drug and alcohol addiction. To imply it is starts us down the path of not being responsible for our food choices. (Again, still.)11 -
The baker in my office doesn't eat any of it. She's training for a figure competition! When I asked her to slow her roll (and cakes, etc.), I thought she would understand because she also has a very strict diet. Unlike me though, she is a master of self control.
Honestly, this sounds less like self-control and more like an eating disorder to me. It's not uncommon for people severely restricting their own food to become obsessed with cooking and feeding others the food they don't eat. Voice of experience here.
Either way, her issues are not your worry. Good luck finding your own most effective mechanism for dealing with the temptation.2 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »I have a coworker who not only brings in treats all the time (and not the yummy homemade kind, but generic store brought crap), who tries to pressure me into eating them with the "youll hurt my feelings" crap, but ALSO critiques my lunch choices, saying im not eating enough, I should eat more carbs, etc etc.
I had a passive-aggressive "friend" who kept undermining my weight-loss efforts by offering me Kind bars even after I explained that I needed to watch calories. She was overweight, possibly obese. I'm so glad she stopped talking to me after some other petty nonsense. Some people take it as a rebuke that you are trying to lose weight, even if you say nothing about their weight, never offer advice. There's nothing you can do to satisfy that type.
We are in an obesity epidemic. I think that offices should impose rules about bringing in food if most employees agree. It's not everyone's idea of a good time and most people do not need the additional calories.
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Flip over the table.
You cannot tell her to stop baking treats. It is your responsibility to control your own temptation. Eat some fruits, veggies or protein to help you feel not hungry.
Baking is not part of her job. She doesn't have a "right" to bring in food that others may find difficult to resist. They may be eating out of obligation or boredom, not enjoyment. There's nothing wrong with imposing restrictions on how often she brings it or where she serves it. We're not talking about settings in which people are starving and in need of food.3 -
TavistockToad wrote: »skymningen wrote: ». I have previously asked her decrease how often she was baking and she did for a few weeks.
Decide how often you want to have a treat or which of the stuff you would definitely not want to miss out on. She seemed to be understanding before, so just explain to her, that you think her stuff is delicious but that it is too much of a temptation for you as you are trying to limit your calorie intake. Ask her to only offer you something as often as you decided you would want it (like once a week, twice a month, whatever), and maybe preferably on your favorite stuff (so you would not miss out on that). She hopefully will be happy that there is some of her stuff so awesome even a weight conscious person does not want to pass on and that she can help. And she hopefully will remember to not tempt you too often.
its not up to the person baking to stop OP from eating it...
We're all familiar with the person, often obese herself or himself (although it's usually a woman), who guilt-trips people into eating food they either don't want or know they shouldn't be eating. Structure is as important to weight loss as willpower. A setting without unnecessary food temptations is healthier for everyone. If you want a treat, fine, go out and buy it. If people are to get control over their weight, the way they live and work has to change too. There are many things you can do to connect with coworkers that don't involve food. You could have a brief chat, go for a quick walk, etc.6 -
Derpy_Hooves wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Just curious why you feel you have to say no? Is it possible to budget in an occassional treat?
That's what I do. This morning I moved my prelogged afternoon snack to tomorrow and instead I had the treat.
I couldn't say no, the lady who brought it in today brought it baked it because it's her last day.
--Not everyone can stop at just one. It's better to be realistic than pretend this time will be different.
--Not everyone can afford extra calories. For some, even an extra 200 calories is too much.
--Not everyone can commit to an eating plan in advance and stick to it.
--Why should you have to budget for food you don't want in the first place?
This all takes needless energy.5 -
I don't really think it's appropriate for you to ask your coworker to bake and share less just because you're on a diet. You can't expect others to change themselves because you want to change yourself. If you want to succeed, you will have to learn to cope with temptation, because the world isn't going to change for you.5
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jennifer_417 wrote: »I don't really think it's appropriate for you to ask your coworker to bake and share less just because you're on a diet. You can't expect others to change themselves because you want to change yourself. If you want to succeed, you will have to learn to cope with temptation, because the world isn't going to change for you.
I totally agree....to ask someone to stop what they enjoy doing to fit my needs is just plain wrong!0 -
Flip over the table.
You cannot tell her to stop baking treats. It is your responsibility to control your own temptation. Eat some fruits, veggies or protein to help you feel not hungry.
Baking is not part of her job. She doesn't have a "right" to bring in food that others may find difficult to resist. They may be eating out of obligation or boredom, not enjoyment. There's nothing wrong with imposing restrictions on how often she brings it or where she serves it. We're not talking about settings in which people are starving and in need of food.
Nope....not your place to place restrictions because you think EVERYONE doesn't need it! Who are you to impose your will in a free world!?4 -
There's really only a couple of options
1. Fit the calories in (that's my favourite option)
2. Say 'Thank you, but no thanks'
If someone is giving you grief about saying 'no' then I'd turn it back on them. Let the know that you feel it's in appropriate behaviour and you don't appreciate being bullied and pressured into doing something you don't want to do.
If confrontation isn't your thing then just say 'Thank you', take the cake and toss it. Failing that tell them you're allergic (wheat, sugar, food colouring, whatever) or some other medical excuse.
Really though, if someone is bullying people into doing things they don't want to do that's something that needs to go to the managers/HR.0 -
You ultimately have to decide whether or not it's worth it to you. Yesterday there were a ton of cupcakes in our break room (I work at a grocery store...one was a bakery order that was never purchased, the other was from a girl who bought them for her final day). I decided I didn't want to spend the calories on either one. Now, next month when one of my coworkers retires and they order a cake for her? I will likely accept and have a slice.0
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