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Does your doctor comment on your weight?
Replies
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I had an appt. with a new GYN earlier this year, and she commented on my weight, which I did not find offensive. What I did, however, take offense to, was that she then proceeded to lecture me on how I am clearly not eating any of the right things (she did not ask what I actually eat). She told me to either become a vegetarian, or to only eat any form of animal-based protein a few times a month, to never eat beef because "that stuff is for kids", and avoid carbs. I left feeling upset, because she made it seem like that was the only way I would ever be healthy, but honestly, starving for the rest of my life does not seem like a better alternative. As an engineer though, I take things very literally, so when she says no carbs, I assume that she means it. Maybe beans, quinoa, etc. are ok? Maybe she is vegan and thinks everyone else should be too. Hard to know.2
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Val_from_OH wrote: »I had an appt. with a new GYN earlier this year, and she commented on my weight, which I did not find offensive. What I did, however, take offense to, was that she then proceeded to lecture me on how I am clearly not eating any of the right things (she did not ask what I actually eat). She told me to either become a vegetarian, or to only eat any form of animal-based protein a few times a month, to never eat beef because "that stuff is for kids", and avoid carbs. I left feeling upset, because she made it seem like that was the only way I would ever be healthy, but honestly, starving for the rest of my life does not seem like a better alternative. As an engineer though, I take things very literally, so when she says no carbs, I assume that she means it. Maybe beans, quinoa, etc. are ok? Maybe she is vegan and thinks everyone else should be too. Hard to know.
:eyeroll: ...not at you, Val, at your GYN.
I don't take nutrition advice from gynecologists and I don't buy bridges from random dudes on the street. You can quote me next time you see her.
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The only thing my Dr has ever commented about on weight was when I went in for an annual, then 6 months later for illness then annual again, then in for an illness again. So I was about 205lbs, then 182, then 194lbs, then 183. He was like ????? you dropped 23lbs then regained 12lbs, then lost 11lbs. What's going on? I explained bulking and cutting at that point.
He was flabbergasted (<-love that word) since, as he said, he normally doesn't see that ability to bounce up and down in weight unless there's a medical condition or eating disorder.4 -
Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained9
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My old doctor (he's retired now) did comment on my weight once. His words were 'you're getting big' then I protested and said that I workout everyday. He told me that is great but I'm eating too much lol. That day I went out and bought a food scale. Turns out he was right.
When I was pregnant, I had a different doctor and she told me she only wanted me to gain 15 pounds on this pregnancy because of my weight. When I went to see her for my second baby she was shocked at how I looked. I had lost over 30 pounds since the last time I saw her. It was awesome that she noticed.
Since the birth of my babies, this is the lowest I have been in over 5 years.10 -
When I was about 15 (early to mid 90's). I was overweight. My dr (who lacks any semblance of an appropriate bedside manner) told me I needed to "lose weight soon." After that, he would just give me a "look."
I went to college and lost 60+lbs. He was right; I did need to lose weight, but I knew that before he said anything.
I think a health professional SHOULD say something once. It's her professional responsibility to do so...after that, it doesn't need to be harped on. That's not likely to motivate someone to lose weight.3 -
"Val_from_OH wrote: »1As an engineer though, I take things very literally, so when she says no carbs, I assume that she means it. Maybe beans, quinoa, etc. are ok?
I'm baffled by doctors who say ":no carbs." I'm guessing they mean bread, potatoes, rice, etc. and don't mean vegetables, legumes, and fruit, which are loaded with carbs.
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Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained
The husband comment was wildly inappropriate, but I have heard from so many friends (ranging from very slightly overweight to morbidly obese) that their doctors blame every single slight health issue or illness on their weight. Sometimes I am sure it's true, but really I doubt that a lot of things are caused/impacted by weight, like the common cold!?
This is one reason so many of the comments about doctors never mentioning weight have surprised me (in this thread).
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seltzermint555 wrote: »Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained
The husband comment was wildly inappropriate, but I have heard from so many friends (ranging from very slightly overweight to morbidly obese) that their doctors blame every single slight health issue or illness on their weight. Sometimes I am sure it's true, but really I doubt that a lot of things are caused/impacted by weight, like the common cold!?
This is one reason so many of the comments about doctors never mentioning weight have surprised me (in this thread).
Exactly. I rarely, if ever, get sick. I also smoke (trying to quit) so they love me lol. After not getting sick for years I developed an ear infection that wouldn't clear up. Went to the doctor, first thing he said was "how's your weight?". I've asked the ENT I saw if being overweight can cause ear infections and he said no. Smoking can but fatness can't and yet I've only had one doctor one time ever mention quitting smoking to me. It's always just my weight and as my vitals are normal they seem to go with the "you'd look better" angle which is really offensive to me.
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If ever went to a doctor at my current weight and they DIDN'T tell me to lose weight, I would never visit them again, because I couldn't trust any other health advice they gave me.
Being overweight is unhealthy. Period. End of debate. There is no ifs, ands, butts, or exceptions to that rule. All other things held equal a thinner person is healthier than a fatter one. Every time.
If you are fat and have good bloodwork and vitals then you have them IN SPITE of your obesity.18 -
deputy_randolph wrote: »When I was about 15 (early to mid 90's). I was overweight. My dr (who lacks any semblance of an appropriate bedside manner) told me I needed to "lose weight soon." After that, he would just give me a "look."
I went to college and lost 60+lbs. He was right; I did need to lose weight, but I knew that before he said anything.
I think a health professional SHOULD say something once. It's her professional responsibility to do so...after that, it doesn't need to be harped on. That's not likely to motivate someone to lose weight.
I agree with this - the fact is, overweight and obese people know we're overweight and obese. Constantly be harped at over weight does not help or motivate us to change things. I think the problem is that doctors see so many patients these days, and most of the time they don't know the person very well. Some folks will be highly offended while others will take bluntness and use it to motivate them. The doctor has to be careful what they say to different patients, and sometimes, especially in this day and age, when they don't know the patient well or how they will react, the doctor finds it easier to just say nothing at all.
I personally prefer the doctor to just note it and tactfully mention it if it is related to a condition I'm seeing them about. Otherwise, I'd just as soon keep things generalized during an annual physical. I beat myself up enough as it is.
I've been obese since early puberty. I also deal with depression and self image issues. When I was a teen, I dreaded seeing my pediatrician because they always, always brought up the weight issue - including showing me the chart. They tested my thyroid, said it was normal, and stopped there. Only I found out later that my thyroid function wasn't actually normal after all - I had been hypo thyroid for years.....
anyway, I moved to a new area a few years and and absolutely loved my doctor there. She didn't harp on my weight; we'd discuss nutrition and she'd give me suggestions for healthier whole foods or we'd discuss options for exercise, but she did this all in a very tactful and encouraging manner related to over all health - never directly linked to weight. All my bloodwork numbers were and have been normal for years, so there wasn't any health issues directly linked to weight that I was dealing with. When I started losing weight in 2012, she was a fantastic cheerleader.
However, she sent me to a sleep clinic for an apnea study, and even though my results came back borderline, the sleep doctor simply told me to get bariatric surgery. No discussion about other options - surgery was his only recommendation. I didn't go back to him.
then my thyroid troubles turned to cancer, and I gained most of the weight back in the recovery period afterwards. I have since moved, started here at MFP, and have dropped over 80 lbs. My new PCP is wonderful as well, and like the old one, she might bring up weight if I mentioned it and we discuss it; otherwise she'll tell me to focus on health. And she has been a fantastic support and motivator during the weight loss. I actually look forward to seeing her at my next appointment because I've dropped 50 lbs since I last say her, and I know she'll be thrilled.
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seltzermint555 wrote: »Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained
The husband comment was wildly inappropriate, but I have heard from so many friends (ranging from very slightly overweight to morbidly obese) that their doctors blame every single slight health issue or illness on their weight. Sometimes I am sure it's true, but really I doubt that a lot of things are caused/impacted by weight, like the common cold!?
This is one reason so many of the comments about doctors never mentioning weight have surprised me (in this thread).
Exactly. I rarely, if ever, get sick. I also smoke (trying to quit) so they love me lol. After not getting sick for years I developed an ear infection that wouldn't clear up. Went to the doctor, first thing he said was "how's your weight?". I've asked the ENT I saw if being overweight can cause ear infections and he said no. Smoking can but fatness can't and yet I've only had one doctor one time ever mention quitting smoking to me. It's always just my weight and as my vitals are normal they seem to go with the "you'd look better" angle which is really offensive to me.
I'm with you. I've been obese since I was in elementary school, and I'm now seeing 40 looming up, but my bloodwork - cholesterol, blood pressure, sugar levels, etc - have been in the normal range my whole life. I'm healthy as a horse - except for my body weight. I rarely ever get sick - I can't remember the last time I had the flu or a stomach bug. I'm not saying that being obese is a good thing or that I won't develop these things later in life (there's a family history for diabetes and heart problems, both for the overweight and the never-overweight members of my family), and I know that getting the weight off will lessen my chances or the severity of issues I might develop, not to mention take stress off my joints and back - but I know this and don't need it to be harped on constantly. Call me a flake if you will, but I deal with depression and self image issues. I know what I look like - in fact, my internal image of myself is probably far worse than it actually is - I don't need others around me saying things that reinforce that negative self image. I find that positive comments go so much further than negative ones, which is why I much prefer to hang out with my aunt than my grandmother (the grandmother constantly mentions weight, and not always kindly, whenever I see her).
And to have a doctor tell me to lose weight to make me look better? yeah, I'd be really offended by that too.7 -
If ever went to a doctor at my current weight and they DIDN'T tell me to lose weight, I would never visit them again, because I couldn't trust any other health advice they gave me.
Being overweight is unhealthy. Period. End of debate. There is no ifs, ands, butts, or exceptions to that rule. All other things held equal a thinner person is healthier than a fatter one. Every time.
If you are fat and have good bloodwork and vitals then you have them IN SPITE of your obesity.
Overweight and obese are not the same things. Well, you can't be obese without being overweight, but you can be overweight without being obese.
You can be overweight and healthy. Now that obesity is classified as a disease it would be impossible to be obese and healthy, regardless of bloodwork.2 -
The only doctor who mentioned my weight was my OB/GYN. I was seeing her for a prolapsed uterus. She mentioned that if I lost a bit of weight, the symptoms might be less pronounced. She also told me (when I was pregnant) that I needed to be more careful with how much I was gaining, however conceded that I was retaining a lot of water so as long as my test results continued to be good (they were), she wouldn't require me to diet/restrict calories.
My regular doctor remarked that she noticed that I had lost weight when I had dropped around 50 lbs (from 180 to 130), but I've mostly been in the "overweight" section of the chart, and not obese, so I think they don't say as much.
I'm in Canada, where doctors are also hard to get in to, so they're not worried about loss of income.1 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Katiebear_81 wrote: »The only doctor who mentioned my weight was my OB/GYN. I was seeing her for a prolapsed uterus. She mentioned that if I lost a bit of weight, the symptoms might be less pronounced. She also told me (when I was pregnant) that I needed to be more careful with how much I was gaining, however conceded that I was retaining a lot of water so as long as my test results continued to be good (they were), she wouldn't require me to diet/restrict calories.
My regular doctor remarked that she noticed that I had lost weight when I had dropped around 50 lbs (from 180 to 130), but I've mostly been in the "overweight" section of the chart, and not obese, so I think they don't say as much.
I'm in Canada, where doctors are also hard to get in to, so they're not worried about loss of income.
Aren't our doctors paid by the Government? Then it wouldn't matter at all if they lost a patient who got offended because that patient causes no effect on their income.
Are they paid a flat salary regardless of number of patients?0 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Katiebear_81 wrote: »The only doctor who mentioned my weight was my OB/GYN. I was seeing her for a prolapsed uterus. She mentioned that if I lost a bit of weight, the symptoms might be less pronounced. She also told me (when I was pregnant) that I needed to be more careful with how much I was gaining, however conceded that I was retaining a lot of water so as long as my test results continued to be good (they were), she wouldn't require me to diet/restrict calories.
My regular doctor remarked that she noticed that I had lost weight when I had dropped around 50 lbs (from 180 to 130), but I've mostly been in the "overweight" section of the chart, and not obese, so I think they don't say as much.
I'm in Canada, where doctors are also hard to get in to, so they're not worried about loss of income.
Aren't our doctors paid by the Government? Then it wouldn't matter at all if they lost a patient who got offended because that patient causes no effect on their income.
Are they paid a flat salary regardless of number of patients?
I just googled and I think it depends on where they work, but a lot of doctors are actually government employees and they're paid on salary, I believe. So in those cases, number of patients wouldn't matter.
Interesting (I'm in the US). I could see pros and cons to this. More incentive to keep you healthy so they only need to see you for checkups. But I wonder if it also might keep some doctors from taking new patients or targeting patients with more illness since seeing more patients or more visits doesn't generate more income.0 -
Mine has said "Well you know you need to lose weight" and then moves on to other stuff.3
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I wonder if whether or not a doctor will mention it or not is correlated to what kind of group or practice they're in. I know people who have GPs that are part of very large groups...they actually rarely see they're actual doctor...usually different PAs and they have no meaningful relationship with their actual doctor. From what I hear about it, it sounds like a turnstile and they never really receive anything meaningful in regards to their health other than results of blood work, etc.
My GP and his wife own their own practice...there are no PAs, so if you go to the doctor, you go to the doctor. I have solid relationship with my doctor...he doesn't have to look at a chart to see who I am and knows most of my issues and potential issues by heart...0 -
I'm older, and when I was growing up, weight was brought up every. single. time. I went to the doctor. I dreaded going, because it seemed like no matter what I went to see my family doctor for, it always came back to my weight. Sore throat? Lose weight. Flu? Lose weight. He was one of those, and he and others like him are why a lot of doctors don't mention weight now.
I think there's a middle ground between the way it used to be and never mentioning it, and the ACNP that I see as my primary provider seemed to find it. She didn't say anything specifically about my weight until it reached a certain point, but she did always ask about healthy behaviors, specifically exercise.
When I went from Class I to Class II obese, she started talking about my weight and was quite clear that I simply needed to cut calories. At that point it was also clear that my weight was impacting my health issues.
She's made more mention of my weight since I've lost it than she ever made while I was obese, but I'd have to say she's most proud of me developing the habit of consistent exercise, because she was on my case for years about that!4 -
suzannesimmons3 wrote: »In the uk due to massive patient lists a doctor wouldn't care if you left. ....you'd spend the rest of your life trying to find another one with spaces though
Same in Canada!
Yes my doctor did tell me that I needed to lose weight for my health. I already knew that I needed to lose weight so it didn't offend me. When I saw her last she told me I did a fabulous job of getting healthier. She is there to look after me and if I am healthy it leaves more time for patients that need her time more than I do.1 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Katiebear_81 wrote: »The only doctor who mentioned my weight was my OB/GYN. I was seeing her for a prolapsed uterus. She mentioned that if I lost a bit of weight, the symptoms might be less pronounced. She also told me (when I was pregnant) that I needed to be more careful with how much I was gaining, however conceded that I was retaining a lot of water so as long as my test results continued to be good (they were), she wouldn't require me to diet/restrict calories.
My regular doctor remarked that she noticed that I had lost weight when I had dropped around 50 lbs (from 180 to 130), but I've mostly been in the "overweight" section of the chart, and not obese, so I think they don't say as much.
I'm in Canada, where doctors are also hard to get in to, so they're not worried about loss of income.
Aren't our doctors paid by the Government? Then it wouldn't matter at all if they lost a patient who got offended because that patient causes no effect on their income.
Are they paid a flat salary regardless of number of patients?
I just googled and I think it depends on where they work, but a lot of doctors are actually government employees and they're paid on salary, I believe. So in those cases, number of patients wouldn't matter.
Interesting (I'm in the US). I could see pros and cons to this. More incentive to keep you healthy so they only need to see you for checkups. But I wonder if it also might keep some doctors from taking new patients or targeting patients with more illness since seeing more patients or more visits doesn't generate more income.
In Canada also. I know the GP I had before this one wouldn't have taken me on if I'd been a smoker.0 -
When I was 265 every doctor I went to indicated that I needed to lose weight, my comorbidities were many. I am not sure I would want a doctor that did not address that. Mine still does after he sees the number because my BMI is never where it should be. Our company requires certain metrics to earn cheaper insurance premiums. If I want to pass on weight I have to do a bod pod to show fat percentage.1
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My OBGYN commented at my appointment last January. After years of holding my weight steady I had creeped up into overweight BMI. She asked me what was going on and told me that she uses MFP to monitor her food intake so here I am
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Yes my doctor says everything is related to weight. Broke my ankle? Cos I'm fat. Have a cold? Cos I'm fat. One even said to me years ago "it's a shame you've let yourself get so fat, because you're a very pretty girl and I'm sure if you weren't so big you'd have found a husband by now". It was so offensive on so many levels. I just changed practices but I wish I'd have complained
For me, too. Recurring sinus and ear infections? Bc I'm fat. Headaches, eye pain? Same. Took 25 years for a doctor to finally do one CT scan of my sinuses, then immediately schedule me for sinus surgery. Musta been bc I was fat. My varicose veins? Painful and swollen when I was fat, but also when I had lost weight. No answer for that one. I'm very cynical and distrusting of all of the medical field and it's very hard to impress me. Not bc I'm fat, but bc I've worked in the medical field for 30 years now.5 -
I have never had a doctor NOT tell me to lose weight. Never offended though, my response was/is always "yeah I know...". This includes my primary doc, ob, neurologist and even my eye doctor lol4
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when i was at my heaviest, 456lbs, every conversation would end with,'if you could lose some weight it would really help!', they were also suprised that i was never diabetic, and my cholesterol was low.
But rather flatteringly after losing the weight that i have lost so far they asked me if i would talk to a group of weightloss patients, or potential weightloss patients, to tell them what has been working for me.
The trouble is now that when i get weighed at my surgery every couple of weeks there is always that aire of expectation on me to have lost more.... !! my number one suggestion for successful weightoss is 'mindset' you have got to want it gone for good! thats the only thing that has changed this time round compared to the last 40 yrs of trying to lose it! and using MFP of course...
One thing i have noticed is that the younger doctors have a much better grasp about weightloss that the older ones... they seem to understand it more.....
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I see a nephrologist every 3 months for my 17 year old kidney transplant(due to Alport Syndrome). A couple years ago, I put on 30 lbs between appointments due to the vicious cravings caused by zyprexa (for a mental health diagnosis that went away with increased sleep), and I didn't hear a peep out of my doctor. My blood pressure was also elevated, but he didn't even mention that. Fast-forward to the appointment after I lost the weight of my own volition, and he mentioned the weight loss:
Me: Why didn't you mention the incredibly fast gain?
Neph: You're not really supposed to talk about a woman's weight.
Me: ?!?!?!?!
Me: You're a nephrologist! The top causes of kidney disease are high blood pressure and diabetes! We need you to talk about the stuff we'd rather ignore.
I've maintained my loss, so I don't know if he took our conversation to heart, but I'm glad to see I'm not the only one concerned with how society is changing the role of doctors.2 -
Every visit. When he put me on HB pills. When he upped the dosage. When he did ekg's. When he referred me to a sleep apnea test. When he put me on diabetes meds. And lastly when he told me I was one of his few patients who turned it all around and took me off diabetes meds and cut my bp pills. My doc has never pulled punches. It's one of the reasons I stay with him.5
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Tweaking_Time wrote: »Has your doc ever suggested you lose weight? If so, were you offended?
I asked my doc if she ever suggested people lose weight, eat better, exercise more, etc. She said that her answer would be mostly "No." When I asked her why she explained that being a doctor is a business and if she would critique each patients weight, she is sure she would lose patients, especially the easily offended ones. She also said if the patient asks her opinion about their weight, should would gladly help them with a diet/exercise plan.
That's ridiculous. Weight is an indicator of health, and any good health care provider ought to be checking and recording weight, and recommending appropriate course of action if change is needed. That's how I got to be on MFP - doctor suggested I needed to lose a bit of weight, exercise more, and eat differently. This site is handy for tracking both food and activity, so here I am today.0 -
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