Hey It's Eve, Share your favourite joke!
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SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I need all of Bo Burnham's math jokes up in here because math is fun
"What's two balls minus one? Seven titles at the Tour de France"
All? Isn't that the only one?
Well I wasn't going to post them all at once
"what's a bag of chips divided by five?
Well, that's a Nike worker's meal."
OK, that made me giggle. But it also made me think why are their shoes so expensive
https://youtu.be/obIGsb-IZMo 0 -
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I need all of Bo Burnham's math jokes up in here because math is fun
"What's two balls minus one? Seven titles at the Tour de France"
All? Isn't that the only one?
Well I wasn't going to post them all at once
"what's a bag of chips divided by five?
Well, that's a Nike worker's meal."
OK, that made me giggle. But it also made me think why are their shoes so expensivehttps://youtu.be/obIGsb-IZMo
Well that's 45 seconds I'll never get back0 -
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I need all of Bo Burnham's math jokes up in here because math is fun
"What's two balls minus one? Seven titles at the Tour de France"
All? Isn't that the only one?
Well I wasn't going to post them all at once
"what's a bag of chips divided by five?
Well, that's a Nike worker's meal."
OK, that made me giggle. But it also made me think why are their shoes so expensivehttps://youtu.be/obIGsb-IZMo
Thanks now what will I post in here.
I wanted a listen then I wanted to share what can I say?:)(0 -
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what do Zombie Bunnies eat?
HEADs of lettuce!0 -
Anything would be an improvement. Even tiny TimMeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »I need all of Bo Burnham's math jokes up in here because math is fun
"What's two balls minus one? Seven titles at the Tour de France"
All? Isn't that the only one?
Well I wasn't going to post them all at once
"what's a bag of chips divided by five?
Well, that's a Nike worker's meal."
OK, that made me giggle. But it also made me think why are their shoes so expensivehttps://youtu.be/obIGsb-IZMo
Thanks now what will I post in here.
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CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »This is chit chat, there are no funny people here.
Ouch
Lol
. Love you 0 -
My dad says my sisters boyfriend is a joke, but I don't have his picture to post.4
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kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »kinetixtrainer2 wrote: »This is chit chat, there are no funny people here.
Ouch
Lol. Love you
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cynthiabickham wrote: »My dad says my sisters boyfriend is a joke, but I don't have his picture to post.
Sick burn.1 -
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I have a joke about the past, present, and future.
But I think things are tense already.1 -
Whats thirty feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at a nursing home.
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Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
For Drizzle1 -
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what do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?You walk him and pitch to the Rhino2
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Mickey mouse goes to his lawyer and says I want to divorce minnie. The lawyer says OMG really you guys have been together a really long time, are you sure? Why don't you go home tonight and think about it and tomorrow if you still want to we'll go ahead with it. So Mickey comes back the next morning and says yep I still want to divorce Minnie, let's do this. The lawyer looks at him and says alright if you're sure but I don't understand why you want to divorce Minnie because you said she was acting a little crazy. Mickey says I didn't say she was acting crazy I said she was F-ing Goofy.
A patient told me this one and I have always loved it.1 -
Why was the little strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam.0 -
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh sh1t.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
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SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh sh1t.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. 0 -
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effing_steve wrote: »As a father, technically, ALL my jokes are "Dad" jokes.
@effing_steve Can I call you Daddy?1 -
nolan44219 wrote: »what do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?You walk him and pitch to the Rhino
I was about to post this... 1 -
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The future, present & past walk into a bar. It was tense.1
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