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Post your favorite joke

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Replies

  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    What goes "quick, quick"?
    Duck in a hurry.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    What did Obi-Wan say at the rodeo?
    “Use the horse, Luke!”
  • TreasureDiver1
    TreasureDiver1 Posts: 35 Member
    A horse walked into a bar. Bartender asked him, why the long face ?
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    TreasureDiver1 wrote: »
    A horse walked into a bar. Bartender asked him, why the long face ?

    whde3guv41qg.jpg
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    UrBaconMeCr8zy wrote: »
    Local police have launched a murder investigation after a body was found in a rice field yesterday. It appears that the victim was killed at that location with a small stone figurine. Police are not yet releasing the victim's name, but they say this seems to be the county's first ever case of a knickknack paddy whack.

    Honestly there's some real news stories that could be posted too. Lol
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,236 Member
    A bonus humor pill...a little Christmas humor...☺

    A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve. The mall was packed with last minute shoppers.

    As they walked through the mall, the wife was surprised when she turned around and her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot of shopping to do.

    She was worried and called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.

    In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

    The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

    He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
  • resale3108
    resale3108 Posts: 293 Member
    How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a lightbulb??

    It all depends on whether or not the lightbulb wants to phage
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol
  • Ralphone
    Ralphone Posts: 1,863 Member
    Mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink. Bar tend says we don't serve mushrooms here. Mushroom sas why not I a fun guy.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Working at home sucks...
    ....if you’re a firefighter.
  • 0911shunamite
    0911shunamite Posts: 150 Member
    Read it aloud
    Me:Knock knock
    You:Who’s there?
    Me:I eat mop
    You: I eat mop who

  • Dyl1789
    Dyl1789 Posts: 2,933 Member
    what did one Kiwi (New Zealand) Statue say to the other Kiwi (New Zealand) Statue??

    Statue Bro!
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol those are great haha I really needed a laugh today
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    i_squat_for_pizza wrote: »
    My jokes are too dirty to post here, you all got good ones though. Thanks for sharing

    Inbox it lol
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol why
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    What‘s E.T. short for?
    Because he has little legs.
  • Resistive
    Resistive Posts: 212 Member
    What does a prostitute and a stamp both have in common?

    You can lick em, stick em, and send them away.
  • ekim2016
    ekim2016 Posts: 1,199 Member
    Resistive wrote: »
    What does a prostitute and a stamp both have in common?

    You can lick em, stick em, and send them away.

    and their prices keep going up...
  • Resistive
    Resistive Posts: 212 Member
    ekim2016 wrote: »
    Resistive wrote: »
    What does a prostitute and a stamp both have in common?

    You can lick em, stick em, and send them away.

    and their prices keep going up...

    Ha! I have no idea what either of their rates are, lol!

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