Comments on pre-weight loss body

lucerorojo

I went back and reread the original post. It bothers me even more now that I've seen her photos. I was expecting to see someone who weighed 400 lbs. and that comment could have been construed as "I'm so worried about you and your health, I'd hate to see you go back to that state," but just worded improperly. It comes off even more insensitive when she already looked good in the before photo. Everyone has different tastes, and some like thinner rather than curvier, but we can all probably agree that she doesn't look like her life is in danger because of her weight. The guy sounds very superficial to say something like that and it makes me wonder if he is such a prize himself in appearance...then there is the whole controlling aspect of it. He just sounds mean and superficial. I'd never speak to him again if I were the OP if this is a pattern of behavior/comments.

kshama2001

toxikon wrote: »

HellYeahItsKriss wrote: »

I find it funny how easy it is to tell someone else to kick a guy to the curb simply from 1 situation in a small paragraph.

People can sometimes suck and saying what they mean the right way.

I am one of those people. Blunt and I have no social skills. Should everyone cast me out of their life too?

All quotes from OP:

"And he said “I don’t ever want to see you look like that again” in reference to my “before”. And then he said that I shouldn’t be offended unless I intended to go back."

"I don’t know, now I’m remembering lots of little offhand comments he’s made and I let go but probably should’ve paid more attention to."

"But now that I’m looking back on it I realize he’s also suggested I dye my hair, get a fake tan, and get more revealing clothes. And I’ve known him 5 months. And it’s all just a little weird when I look at it all together instead of the separate incidents they were"

Does that really sound like a healthy relationship to you?

I actually like controlling, dominant guys. But in the past I have mistakenly picked abusive *kitten*. I'm seeing a pattern here that sends up red flags.

OP, trust your gut.

MISSNYA92

He probably thinks he was being helpful and motivating, but sounded like a jerk instead. If you two are a “thing” maybe give him the benefit of a doubt that he would be mean to you on purpose. Sounds like a foot in mouth comment imo.

Good_Morning_Glory

WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »

LAWoman72 wrote: »

Are these the pics you also sent to that guy? I can see your great progress but holy hell, you already had a banging' body! I mean what on earth...? This is just weird. P.s. I love your friend. Awesome, LOL.

Those weren’t the pics, but swimsuit versions of me at roughly the same sizes. From what he said you’d think the first pic would be me face down in some vomit in a gutter.

I know many people would love to see you that way. Crazy. You looked/look fabulous and that dress is smokin’. High five.

J72FIT

WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »

I don’t expect him to not be human, we probably all have preferences with how the person we’re sleeping with looks. He’d be hotter if he were Jason Momoa, but I don’t go around telling him that

Because you have the good sense and compassion not to...

clicketykeys

LAWoman72 wrote: »

My otherwise sensitive, appreciative and (you won't believe this after reading the following) intelligent ex-husband once said to me, comparing me to his ex --

So, my husband and I sometimes read things we've found online to each other. I started with this story, and when I got that far, he said "Nope. Don't. Right there, just stop there. You've already made a mistake, dude. It's just going to get worse."

I about DIED.

No one is perfect, but there ARE people who, when they realize they've said something potentially hurtful, try to make amends rather than trying to invalidate others' feelings. THAT was what really set my back up about the original post.

LAWoman72

clicketykeys wrote: »

LAWoman72 wrote: »

My otherwise sensitive, appreciative and (you won't believe this after reading the following) intelligent ex-husband once said to me, comparing me to his ex --

So, my husband and I sometimes read things we've found online to each other. I started with this story, and when I got that far, he said "Nope. Don't. Right there, just stop there. You've already made a mistake, dude. It's just going to get worse."

I about DIED.

No one is perfect, but there ARE people who, when they realize they've said something potentially hurtful, try to make amends rather than trying to invalidate others' feelings. THAT was what really set my back up about the original post.

Yes. LOL. "Abort! Abort! Pull for shore! For the love of God, man...save yourself!!"

And yes to the last paragraph. My feelings on it, too.

WhereIsPJSoles

Yes! Your husband gets it

Christine_72

Bringing up "The Ex" would be met by



For most people, I'd say!