How am I supposed to get all the good diet advice?

13

Replies

  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    This was so much fun to read. :) Will all the smiles make my cheeks skinnier? How do I log that? Do I eat those calories back?

    Laughing for 15 min apparently burns 10-40 calories. Comedy is the key to weight loss :drinker:
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    Sometimes I break out into weird laughing fits..
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited January 2018
    Think about a food you know. Does it bring you joy? Yes? Good. You can never eat that food again. Continue that process until you identify five foods that bring you sadness, or at least a strong sense of apathy. You can eat those five foods on an exercise contraption of some sort while you think about your life. Hopefully one of the foods is cabbage. If not, substitute a different gaseous vegetable. None of the foods can be cheese.

    1. Chocolate
    2. Tacos
    3. Ice cream cake
    4. Garlic Bread
    5. Waffles


    1. Brussel sprouts
    2. rutabaga
    3. beets
    4. tofu
    5. cottage cheese

    surely I have a fart food in here somewhere... lol
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    Brussels sprouts and rutatbaga are both fart foods lol.

  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    edited January 2018
    Proof that smiling makes you bulky.

    b2ljio1dnccc.png





  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    x
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Don't sell yourself short... hottest and fattest ear lobes in halifax

    We will design you some sexxxxxy brazears to showcase on your profile pic.

    Oh.. well I am all about rainbows and unicorns.. but I don't think that's very sexy lol.

    What's sexy? Pickles?

    I don't think you have visited the Chit Chat forums very much then have you?

    Lol in all honesty.. maybe twice on my own choice but nope.. have they selected what's sexy already?

    I lurk in there some... If you just go to the 'Is it okay that to like your cousin' thread that might be enough to determine what is not sexy.

    ... Lol wow...

    Yeah... I can honestly say I have never had an attraction to a cousin lol or any other family member lol

    Yeah quite creepy. lol

    So.. no pickle bras. Cousins might be attracted to my fatlobes

    Maybe cheese? Swiss? It has lots of holes..

    If we are seeking out our cousins as partners I suspect they think anything is sexy.

    Swiss Cheese Dress sounds like something that could be trending in 2018. I have seen a bacon dress... it could happen.

    Jeeze.. is there a bread dress? We could make a sandwich lol

    Also I just want to point out the annoyance of my auto-correct everytime I type something out it changes it to something completely different like when I wrote the word jeeze up top it changed it to "him" .. Lol..

    your must be typing with your earlobes. lol

    I must be. I guess I need a special fat lobe texting wand for my face

    try using your nose, but dont sneeze

    If I lie more would that help?

    yes that will actually give you a special Nosewand
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Search for @diannethegeek & "bump". Best. Diet. Information. Ever.

    There is a board she made called Bump?

    Nah. I just bump all of the stickies. And sometimes I post lists like this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/40508440#Comment_40508440

    Yeah but that's real advice. I want the best advice. @JeromeBarry1 you owe me 2 advices now

    Oh, BEST advice! 1. When you have a flu, mom's medicine requires a lemon, a bottle of bourbon, and a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Cut the lemon in half and place both halves face down on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 until the lemon peels are browned. Squeeze the remaining lemon juice into a cup. Add a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Fill the cup with bourbon. Drink it. All.

    2. To castrate a bull, wrap a rubber band tightly around the *kitten* between the testicles and the torso.
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    edited January 2018
    Stop smiling that is really bad you will end up like this.
    This was so much fun to read. :) Will all the smiles make my cheeks skinnier? How do I log that? Do I eat those calories back?

    Like what?? Omg there is nothing there..

    If we smile too much will be turn invisible??

    You know what.. I'm not gonna correct auto correct anymore. If I type we and it turns to be then whatever I don't care
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Brussels sprouts and rutatbaga are both fart foods lol.

    Yasssss!!!!
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    x
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Don't sell yourself short... hottest and fattest ear lobes in halifax

    We will design you some sexxxxxy brazears to showcase on your profile pic.

    Oh.. well I am all about rainbows and unicorns.. but I don't think that's very sexy lol.

    What's sexy? Pickles?

    I don't think you have visited the Chit Chat forums very much then have you?

    Lol in all honesty.. maybe twice on my own choice but nope.. have they selected what's sexy already?

    I lurk in there some... If you just go to the 'Is it okay that to like your cousin' thread that might be enough to determine what is not sexy.

    ... Lol wow...

    Yeah... I can honestly say I have never had an attraction to a cousin lol or any other family member lol

    Yeah quite creepy. lol

    So.. no pickle bras. Cousins might be attracted to my fatlobes

    Maybe cheese? Swiss? It has lots of holes..

    If we are seeking out our cousins as partners I suspect they think anything is sexy.

    Swiss Cheese Dress sounds like something that could be trending in 2018. I have seen a bacon dress... it could happen.

    Jeeze.. is there a bread dress? We could make a sandwich lol

    Also I just want to point out the annoyance of my auto-correct everytime I type something out it changes it to something completely different like when I wrote the word jeeze up top it changed it to "him" .. Lol..

    your must be typing with your earlobes. lol

    I must be. I guess I need a special fat lobe texting wand for my face

    try using your nose, but dont sneeze

    If I lie more would that help?

    yes that will actually give you a special Nosewand

    If I say things from Harry potter will it also work as a magic wand?
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    edited January 2018
    Stop smiling that is really bad you will end up like this.
    This was so much fun to read. :) Will all the smiles make my cheeks skinnier? How do I log that? Do I eat those calories back?

    Like what?? Omg there is nothing there..

    If we smile too much will be turn invisible??

    Don't take any notice of my posts I am drunk.

  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    x
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Don't sell yourself short... hottest and fattest ear lobes in halifax

    We will design you some sexxxxxy brazears to showcase on your profile pic.

    Oh.. well I am all about rainbows and unicorns.. but I don't think that's very sexy lol.

    What's sexy? Pickles?

    I don't think you have visited the Chit Chat forums very much then have you?

    Lol in all honesty.. maybe twice on my own choice but nope.. have they selected what's sexy already?

    I lurk in there some... If you just go to the 'Is it okay that to like your cousin' thread that might be enough to determine what is not sexy.

    ... Lol wow...

    Yeah... I can honestly say I have never had an attraction to a cousin lol or any other family member lol

    Yeah quite creepy. lol

    So.. no pickle bras. Cousins might be attracted to my fatlobes

    Maybe cheese? Swiss? It has lots of holes..

    If we are seeking out our cousins as partners I suspect they think anything is sexy.

    Swiss Cheese Dress sounds like something that could be trending in 2018. I have seen a bacon dress... it could happen.

    Jeeze.. is there a bread dress? We could make a sandwich lol

    Also I just want to point out the annoyance of my auto-correct everytime I type something out it changes it to something completely different like when I wrote the word jeeze up top it changed it to "him" .. Lol..

    your must be typing with your earlobes. lol

    I must be. I guess I need a special fat lobe texting wand for my face

    try using your nose, but dont sneeze

    If I lie more would that help?

    yes that will actually give you a special Nosewand

    If I say things from Harry potter will it also work as a magic wand?

    as long as you hold your mouth right, yes!
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    Search for @diannethegeek & "bump". Best. Diet. Information. Ever.

    There is a board she made called Bump?

    Nah. I just bump all of the stickies. And sometimes I post lists like this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/40508440#Comment_40508440

    Yeah but that's real advice. I want the best advice. @JeromeBarry1 you owe me 2 advices now

    Oh, BEST advice! 1. When you have a flu, mom's medicine requires a lemon, a bottle of bourbon, and a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Cut the lemon in half and place both halves face down on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 until the lemon peels are browned. Squeeze the remaining lemon juice into a cup. Add a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Fill the cup with bourbon. Drink it. All.

    2. To castrate a bull, wrap a rubber band tightly around the *kitten* between the testicles and the torso.

    Oh.. I was wondering how to fix my bull.. thank you.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I have officially lost the thread of this thread due to alcohol and am taking myself off to bed. Night all.
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    x
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Don't sell yourself short... hottest and fattest ear lobes in halifax

    We will design you some sexxxxxy brazears to showcase on your profile pic.

    Oh.. well I am all about rainbows and unicorns.. but I don't think that's very sexy lol.

    What's sexy? Pickles?

    I don't think you have visited the Chit Chat forums very much then have you?

    Lol in all honesty.. maybe twice on my own choice but nope.. have they selected what's sexy already?

    I lurk in there some... If you just go to the 'Is it okay that to like your cousin' thread that might be enough to determine what is not sexy.

    ... Lol wow...

    Yeah... I can honestly say I have never had an attraction to a cousin lol or any other family member lol

    Yeah quite creepy. lol

    So.. no pickle bras. Cousins might be attracted to my fatlobes

    Maybe cheese? Swiss? It has lots of holes..

    If we are seeking out our cousins as partners I suspect they think anything is sexy.

    Swiss Cheese Dress sounds like something that could be trending in 2018. I have seen a bacon dress... it could happen.

    Jeeze.. is there a bread dress? We could make a sandwich lol

    Also I just want to point out the annoyance of my auto-correct everytime I type something out it changes it to something completely different like when I wrote the word jeeze up top it changed it to "him" .. Lol..

    your must be typing with your earlobes. lol

    I must be. I guess I need a special fat lobe texting wand for my face

    try using your nose, but dont sneeze

    If I lie more would that help?

    yes that will actually give you a special Nosewand

    If I say things from Harry potter will it also work as a magic wand?

    as long as you hold your mouth right, yes!

    Can you give me step by step tutorials?
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    I have officially lost the thread of this thread due to alcohol and am taking myself off to bed. Night all.

    Lol night.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    x
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    Don't sell yourself short... hottest and fattest ear lobes in halifax

    We will design you some sexxxxxy brazears to showcase on your profile pic.

    Oh.. well I am all about rainbows and unicorns.. but I don't think that's very sexy lol.

    What's sexy? Pickles?

    I don't think you have visited the Chit Chat forums very much then have you?

    Lol in all honesty.. maybe twice on my own choice but nope.. have they selected what's sexy already?

    I lurk in there some... If you just go to the 'Is it okay that to like your cousin' thread that might be enough to determine what is not sexy.

    ... Lol wow...

    Yeah... I can honestly say I have never had an attraction to a cousin lol or any other family member lol

    Yeah quite creepy. lol

    So.. no pickle bras. Cousins might be attracted to my fatlobes

    Maybe cheese? Swiss? It has lots of holes..

    If we are seeking out our cousins as partners I suspect they think anything is sexy.

    Swiss Cheese Dress sounds like something that could be trending in 2018. I have seen a bacon dress... it could happen.

    Jeeze.. is there a bread dress? We could make a sandwich lol

    Also I just want to point out the annoyance of my auto-correct everytime I type something out it changes it to something completely different like when I wrote the word jeeze up top it changed it to "him" .. Lol..

    your must be typing with your earlobes. lol

    I must be. I guess I need a special fat lobe texting wand for my face

    try using your nose, but dont sneeze

    If I lie more would that help?

    yes that will actually give you a special Nosewand

    If I say things from Harry potter will it also work as a magic wand?

    as long as you hold your mouth right, yes!

    Can you give me step by step tutorials?

    I have created my own group for my special tutorials. I will pm you with an invite!
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    Excellent!
    *sits on hands in anticipation*
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Search for @diannethegeek & "bump". Best. Diet. Information. Ever.

    There is a board she made called Bump?

    Nah. I just bump all of the stickies. And sometimes I post lists like this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/40508440#Comment_40508440

    Yeah but that's real advice. I want the best advice. @JeromeBarry1 you owe me 2 advices now

    Oh, BEST advice! 1. When you have a flu, mom's medicine requires a lemon, a bottle of bourbon, and a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Cut the lemon in half and place both halves face down on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 until the lemon peels are browned. Squeeze the remaining lemon juice into a cup. Add a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Fill the cup with bourbon. Drink it. All.

    2. To castrate a bull, wrap a rubber band tightly around the *kitten* between the testicles and the torso.

    Oh.. I was wondering how to fix my bull.. thank you.

    If your bull has the flu, give him the bourbon first.
  • Good_Morning_Glory
    Good_Morning_Glory Posts: 226 Member
    Search for @diannethegeek & "bump". Best. Diet. Information. Ever.

    There is a board she made called Bump?

    Nah. I just bump all of the stickies. And sometimes I post lists like this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/40508440#Comment_40508440

    Yeah but that's real advice. I want the best advice. @JeromeBarry1 you owe me 2 advices now

    Oh, BEST advice! 1. When you have a flu, mom's medicine requires a lemon, a bottle of bourbon, and a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Cut the lemon in half and place both halves face down on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 until the lemon peels are browned. Squeeze the remaining lemon juice into a cup. Add a teaspoon of menthol crystals. Fill the cup with bourbon. Drink it. All.

    2. To castrate a bull, wrap a rubber band tightly around the *kitten* between the testicles and the torso.

    Oh.. I was wondering how to fix my bull.. thank you.

    If your bull has the flu, give him the bourbon first.

    What about when your bull is full of *kitten*?
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    edited January 2018
    Kidzfun wrote: »
    Based on my research on research and searching/reading different studies that have been conducted. I would say a plant based diet. I'm trying the plant based diet because of the benefits. I have never seen an morbidly obese person from eating plants.
    I've seen plenty of obese vegans. Here's a list of foods that are all 100% plant-based/vegan - so if I eat these all the time, I'll lose weight and be totally healthy and not morbidly obese?:

    Marie Callendar Apple Pies
    Kraft Creamy Italian Salad Dressing
    Lay's Potato Chips
    Ritz Crackers
    Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal
    Thomas Blueberry Bagels
    Duncan Hines California Walnut Brownie Mix
    Oreos
    Taco Bell Bean Burrito (minus cheese)
    Unfrosted Pop Tarts
    Nutter Butter Cookies
    Nature Valley Granola Crunch Bars
    Krispy Kreme Fruit Pies
    Chocolate Chip Teddy Grahams


    Kidzfun wrote: »
    I've personally went on a very strict fish & Veggie diet (no eggs or milk) and I lost sustainable weight. I've been reading the China Study (based on many different studies conducted) and watched What The Health + plus read the studies on my own to verify this information and it seems to work.

    The China Study is junk science which has been soundly debunked and What The Health is the worst, most biased hack job of a mockumentary that has ever been produced. Even a lot of vegan proponents/authorities have come out and said how terrible it is.

    Not saying a plant-based diet can't be healthy, but it's not the One True Way and just like many other diets, there's a lot of woo, misinformation, propaganda and pseudoscience surrounding it. And the China Study and What The Health are far from reliable information sources. They're complete garbage.

    Perhaps @janejellyroll, who is one of the most articulate, reasonable and well-studied vegans I've ever run across, could point you to some actual sound scientific resources for plant-based nutrition. And maybe even offer her opinion of What The Health from a longtime, seasoned vegan perspective, lol.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    You could always bleed out on 3 different boards complaining how unsupportive your family is and how to fix them.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,622 Member
    malibu927 wrote: »
    ACV!

    Should I just drink it straight from the bottle?

    Sure. Vodka chaser, always.

    And HIIT. And HIIT. More HIIT.

    Ohhh! Unnh!

    Yes, yes, YES: Pickles! Swiss cheese! More!

    Mmmmm.

    (Sidelong glances . . . did anyone notice?)
  • mph323
    mph323 Posts: 3,563 Member
    Have you tried learning to breathe? You can breathe out calories if you do it properly..
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,622 Member
    No dairy. Because aaalllll the pus cheese is for baby cows *only*.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,142 Member
    Cut out all zero calorie foods - they kill!
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    Kidzfun wrote: »
    Based on my research on research and searching/reading different studies that have been conducted. I would say a plant based diet. I'm trying the plant based diet because of the benefits. I have never seen an morbidly obese person from eating plants. I've personally went on a very strict fish & Veggie diet (no eggs or milk) and I lost sustainable weight. I've been reading the China Study (based on many different studies conducted) and watched What The Health + plus read the studies on my own to verify this information and it seems to work.

    @Kidzfun --- this was supposed to be sarcasm right? i know some people can be very dry
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    dsboohead wrote: »
    You could always bleed out on 3 different boards complaining how unsupportive your family is and how to fix them.

    Lol.. Complaining burns calories! Brilliant!

    https://hsionline.com/2011/09/21/complaining-diet/

    HAHAHA omg i googled this for *kitten* and giggles
  • HellYeahItsKriss
    HellYeahItsKriss Posts: 906 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    ACV!

    Should I just drink it straight from the bottle?

    Sure. Vodka chaser, always.

    And HIIT. And HIIT. More HIIT.

    Ohhh! Unnh!

    Yes, yes, YES: Pickles! Swiss cheese! More!

    Mmmmm.

    (Sidelong glances . . . did anyone notice?)

    Your encouragement is very orgasmic.
This discussion has been closed.