Misfortune Cookies
SabotageinStilettos
Posts: 4,833 Member
What if instead of getting a generic, bullshrimp fortune in your cookie, you got the cold, hard truth. If you were writing fortunes, what would they say?
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Don't trust that one special person in your life.0
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You just ate a cat2
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Nobody can be exactly like you. Believe me.0
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You are very "special".0
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When one door closes, a new one will open to your personal hell.0
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Good luck with that one.1
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Your heart is pure but your breath smells like a dirty hooker in a trout farm.3
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Promises are like rules. Meant to be broken.0
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Woo2
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No one dies a virgin, life *kitten* us all5
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No one cares. Get over it.0
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You don't need luck you need a miracle2
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When there is a will, there is a way (to sleep with 90 year olds).1
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Your problem just got bigger.1
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Go walk into the ocean sometime. It's beautiful.0
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The mirror lied.0
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A change is gonna come! When you break that $5 bill tonight at Taco Bell, you broke *kitten* *kitten*.0
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mine would read, "You will get hungry again in an hour."1
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