Less Alcohol- April 2018- One Day at a Time

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  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    For those that are struggling, I just read this somewhere else: "The path to sobriety has detours along the way. Embrace the times you stumble and fall... pulling yourself up makes you stronger. I started this journey two years ago and refuse to give up. "You only fail when you fail to try."

    I know the rewards of being AF are so much greater than drinking. I just have to get that ingrained in my brain. Great quote!
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    jecky74 wrote: »
    It has been a very tough week in my house. My father-in-law passed away quite suddenly on Thursday and I have been supporting my husband and my mother-in-law and helping plan everything and take care of them. It was a highly stressful situation and after a long bad day it would’ve been easy to pour a drink but to be honest I’m just too exhausted and only crossed my mind once. I did have one drink last week so I had to restart my streak, but under the circumstances I’m not willing to beat myself up over it.

    Jeff was the best father in law and we will miss him tremendously. Camping won’t be the same without him this summer. Who’s going to argue politics with me? Everything I’m typing seems so small and pathetic, I wish I could find the words.

    Losing him brings up all the feelings from my dads passing as well. Feeling a lot of feelings this week.

    So sorry to hear this.
  • rachelcalsbeek
    rachelcalsbeek Posts: 185 Member
    jecky74 wrote: »
    It has been a very tough week in my house. My father-in-law passed away quite suddenly on Thursday and I have been supporting my husband and my mother-in-law and helping plan everything and take care of them. It was a highly stressful situation and after a long bad day it would’ve been easy to pour a drink but to be honest I’m just too exhausted and only crossed my mind once. I did have one drink last week so I had to restart my streak, but under the circumstances I’m not willing to beat myself up over it.

    Jeff was the best father in law and we will miss him tremendously. Camping won’t be the same without him this summer. Who’s going to argue politics with me? Everything I’m typing seems so small and pathetic, I wish I could find the words.

    Losing him brings up all the feelings from my dads passing as well. Feeling a lot of feelings this week.

    So sorry for your loss! My mother-in-law passed away very suddenly a couple of years ago. I wish you all the strength in the world to be there for your family. I know it's a hard job. I hope you all can find peace and comfort. :heart:
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @jecky74, I wish there were something any of us could say to ease this for you, but be assured you have all the hugs we can mentally send your way.
  • Skyweigh
    Skyweigh Posts: 113 Member
    springsweet wrote: »
    So I guess I'm back, and I'm pretty annoyed about that. I don't want to quit drinking because I think I'm an alcoholic and I don't want to quit because it's affecting my relationships. I don't want to quit because I can't stop at one (I can sometimes and can't others)... I JUST WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. That is the ONLY thing I want in life. It's taken over my mind, I'm obsessing about it every day. I hate it. Yesterday, I paid money to join the "Cooking Light Diet" because I will not give up on this ever until I find something that works. I went to the store and spent $80 on food JUST for two days of the diet. Then I had to go home and spend the entire night in my terrible, awful, tiny kitchen making dinner and prepping today's breakfast and lunch. I don't enjoy cooking, and I especially hate it in that kitchen. Anyway, I won't go into details about why I don't think that diet, or any diet, will ever work for me.

    Then I read this article this morning (link below), and remembered... "Oh yeah, I was going to try to quit drinking to lose weight". I seriously had totally forgotten that was an option. But it is, and I know when I quit in Jan, I lost a few pounds in just a couple of weeks.

    Anyway, I can't ever seem to stick to it when I try, so please wish me luck. I really do enjoy my nightly glass of vino, but I hate being 50 lbs overweight more. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. :'( I just need to remember that I guess.

    Day 1 AF here.

    Here's the article: https://greatist.com/live/side-effect-of-not-drinking

    Thank you for posting this article.... very insightful.
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    Oh, boy, so, so sorry reading all this news of family members passing away and lots of folks struggling. I think all of us are here because we've felt that sadness, anger and frustration. We're all here to support each other. Sending healing thoughts everyone's way.
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
    Hi! I am back after my long weekend trip to Charleston and I see that this thread has been busy! I have to say that I love coming here and reading everyone else's thoughts. I think it's great that we have this place where we can come and share our struggles and see that there are so many others out there feeling the same way we do. I think that the posts of @WinoGelato and @donimfp both really hit home with me. I struggle with trying to find that balance. How much is too much? Am I really in control of this or am I just heading down a slippery slope? At the end of the day, I think the fact that we are even here, working through this in our minds, each in our own little way, is a step in the right direction. As long as I continue to visit this thread, monitoring my alcohol intake will always be in my mind. I agree that I sometimes get depressed and/or frustrated that I even have to think about it. But I have come to realize that is how it's going to be for me. If I am not worrying about how much alcohol I am drinking, then I am probably drinking too much. Maybe there will come a day when that is not the case and I can happily go about my life without even giving alcohol a second thought, but I know that there is a long road between me and that point, if and when I choose to get there.

    As for this weekend, I had a great time in Charleston and managed my alcohol consumption very well. If you recall, I set a goal for myself to remain AF from Eater until my trip this past weekend. My goal for this weekend was to enjoy myself and enjoy some of the wonderful libations that Charleston has to offer without going overboard and without having any regrets and I feel good that I accomplished this goal. The purpose of our trip was a two day music festival. I found it really easy not to drink at the festival because it was sunny and warm and I did not want to risk dehydration, drink lines were long, drinks were expensive and also had very little alcohol in them. I mostly stuck to water and enjoyed the music. We did visit some pretty neat establishments after the shows and I had some fancy craft cocktails and enjoyed a good glass of wine each night. I woke up every morning feeling no effects of the previous evening and even went for early morning runs on Saturday and Sunday. All in all, it was a good trip.

    My marathon is now 12 days away. I think it is another good time for an AF streak until then. I will give my body some proper rest and recovery from training and hopefully it will be nice and strong for the race!
  • springsweet
    springsweet Posts: 184 Member
    kittybenn wrote: »
    Oh, boy, so, so sorry reading all this news of family members passing away and lots of folks struggling. I think all of us are here because we've felt that sadness, anger and frustration. We're all here to support each other. Sending healing thoughts everyone's way.

    Exactly, what kittybenn said. Sorry I was going on and on about myself when I haven't been around for a while.
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  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    @springsweet, it's good you have a place to release your frustrations. And everyone here understands the need to do that sometimes. I don't know how old you are. You look very young in your picture. I'd just like to say from the perspective of being a good deal older than you that I expressed the very same frustrations about ONLY wanting to lose weight, hating myself in the mirror, etc. some years (decades) ago. Now, I'm shocked when I see pictures of myself back then. I was absolutely beautiful. I always wish I could go back and tell myself that, and that I'd believe myself. Not that I'm denying you want or even need to lose weight, but you sound awfully hard on yourself. I hate that I wasted time and energy "angst-ing" and self-loathing, and it really is weird to look back at photos from 20 or 30 years ago and see, objectively, that I was a beautiful young woman. Maybe not a supermodel, but lovely. Wish I could cook for you. I LOVE to cook and hope to be a chef in my next life. I find prepping food slowly and mindfully can be almost a form of meditation. I wish you some joy in your tiny kitchen. And I'd be willing to bet what you see in the mirror is not what others see. Hugs!!!

    Very well said! One of the artists we saw at the music festival this weekend is Valerie June. I doubt that many of you are familiar with her, but she is a very unique individual (And very talented. I highly recommend checking her out if you are a fan of music). Anyway, in the middle of her set, she was talking about letting your inner light shine and how that is sometimes hard with all that is happening in the world around us, but we only have a short time here on this earth and it is our duty to find that spark within us and let it shine for everyone to see. Of course, she was a lot more eloquent in her delivery. She really, really inspired me. I just wanted to share that because I agree with @donimfp about being so hard on yourself. We all do it. It's human nature, I suppose. But I think if we all try to be a little more self-forgiving and let that light shine through, we will all find our journeys to be a lot easier.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,581 Member
    @1stepfwd_LF30 Welcome to the family. You will find nothing but support and encouragement here.
  • looneycatblue
    looneycatblue Posts: 1,489 Member
    I also signed up for the "30 day alcohol experiment". Enjoyed day 1 video/subject, but day 2 was even better. An expert was on the video talking about the effects of alcohol on sleep, very interesting to me. Like most people here I'll bet, a good nights sleep is hard to come by. I remember what it was like, and how I felt (wish I kept a journal) after about 7-10 days AF... waking up totally refreshed and ready to to hit the ground running.

    Only thing, we are going to be on a bowling trip (AKA: drinking mini-vacation), on days 27, 28 & 29... guess I will decide then if I am going to stick to the 30 day plan!

    I also want to lose weight, on my first 8 weeks, staying mostly AF, I dropped 10 lbs! Since then (indulging too much), nothing for the past 2-3 weeks. If I don't drink at night, I really have more control over my cravings... so here we go, onto getting rid of the next 10!

    Thank you all for being open and sharing your thoughts... even though I might not post a lot, I read all of the posts, and am sending virtual hugs to you.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,581 Member
    @ looneycatblue Im doing the 30 day experiment too. That is the author of Alcohol Explained, William Porter. You must read his book. I can't recommend it enough.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    @ looneycatblue Im doing the 30 day experiment too. That is the author of Alcohol Explained, William Porter. You must read his book. I can't recommend it enough.

    @looneycatblue Hi Friends, I'm doing the 30 day as well. And yes, Listened to the sleep video today. Makes perfect sense. I always used to wake up at 3 or 4 am after a night of drinking. And then the racing thoughts hit. All true stuff.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    trishfit2014 wrote: »
    Was good last night but still slept badly. I am blaming alcohol or my very bad sleep patterns recently. Feeling better this morning than usual.

    Saw a video that says that alcohol disturbs R.E.M. Sleep. And it may take about 5 days or more of being alcohol free for the brain to restore this good sleep. So, take heart if you take a few days off of alcohol, and think that you're not sleeping any better. It's because the brain got used to function with alcohol and it will take some time to readjust.
    The beginning of the article tells about the importance of R.E.M. Sleep stage. https://www.sleepresolutions.com/blog/rem-sleep-what-it-is-why-we-need-it
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    1stepfwd_LF30 wrote: »
    Im new here. I would like to give up alcohol all together. I tend to pair drinking with smoking cigarettes and I'm ready to stop. Both. AF day 1.

    Join us on this thread anytime you need support or to vent or express anything. It's not easy at first. The first ten days you will put in a lot of work. Your brain on alcohol isn't what it used to be and it got dependent on alcohol to function. Go on the site for This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. You may want to join her 30 day challenge. It's free, and you get a short video each day along your journey. Cheering you on!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    I hate to bring more negative vibes, but I see I am not the only one struggling. I hope everyone’s next day is better than the last.

    Work and depression have me down and not motivated. I did very well during the weekdays coming back from vacation. I was trying to keep last weekend to only one night of drinking and one bad meal. I went out Friday and planned to only have one or two drinks. I wound up being there for six hours and needing to uber home. Saturday I was gonna stay home all day but one of our brewery partners gave us $100 bar spend so I wound up on another all nighter. Sunday I stayed free of alcohol but my sister in law made chicken parm, sausage and spaghetti for dinner and I pigged out there. I am terrified to see what the scale says Thursday...
    I’ll end it on at least one positive vibe. I was at a bar for lunch yesterday and my coworker asked what I was ordering. I told him if I have a beer and burger then the whole week will be shot. So I ordered water and a salad.

    Sending you a hug! It's very hard to resist. I get it! But this is a new week. Never give up on your goals. Water and salad- hooray! It's a great step. Xo
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    [...]
    Still practicing the mindful moderation but definitely know that it is a slippery slope to mindless moderation and then quickly mindless excess.

    "it is a slippery slope to mindless moderation and then quickly mindless excess"

    Bam! Nailed it.

    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Again, I know I talk a lot about the similarities I see between the successes I've found in losing weight and maintaining that loss - and what I'm trying to do with alcohol intake as well. In the maintaining forums, there are often threads like "Do you think you'll continue to log forever?" and I always say YES! It doesn't feel cumbersome or burdensome to me, and it has brought me such success with being aware of my food intake, my calorie expenditure, and the impact that has on my overall weight management. So I think I just need to get in the same mindset for alcohol too - if I want to be able to continue to imbibe in a safe and healthy way - then I need to focus and practice this mindful moderation forever. Always have a plan, always think about which days and how much I want to drink. No sliding into habitual every day consumption where the AF days are the rare exception.

    :heart: I feel the same way about logging. I don't have to think about it, I just do it. I spent ages and ages learning how to do it properly, and now it's just second nature.


    A really great Pulitzer prize winning book I was reading is, "Thinking, Fast and Slow", written by Nobel Prize for Economics winner Daniel Kahneman.

    Basically, humans don't like to spend a long time thinking or making decisions. It's scientifically proven to tire us out, and we avoid it wherever possible, even though thinking fast often leads to poor logic.

    I think I'm finding it easy being AF because I'm not thinking about it all the time.

    The possibility of a transition from not thinking about being AF, to not thinking and mindlessly consuming is the kicker.

    And until I can work out a way to drink on special occasions without sliding down that slippery slope to mindlessness, it's easier to stay AF.

    @WinoGelato I really appreciate your post.





  • Alzzi76
    Alzzi76 Posts: 504 Member
    Hello everyone, I'm sorry to be a stranger here.
    I saw Eriks comment abt being depressed etc and thought that's what have been feeling like. I really can relate, especally when most people here drink like no tomorrow.
    I've been battling with the pressure of having too much on my plate. I decided to let go some things including checking in here.
    I have had a casual drink here and there but found i couldn't go past 1- 2 std with out feeling and seeing the effects. I absolutely hate looking puffy so it stops me. If anything I'd have a couple of sips and put it in the fridge. The only thing with that is when u go to the fridge its there looking at u so theres the temptation to have it when it normally wouldn't.
    Im going to listen to some meditation music
  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    Yesterday was very stressful. So when I got home I decided to have a glass of wine. One 5oz glass of chard. I drank it and was fine.
    Last night when I went to bed, my chest felt like it was doing somersaults for about 30 min. And then I woke up 2 hours later all sweaty. I generally slept like crap. Pretty much no good sleep. This was happening to me when I would drink 3 glasses. It hasn't happened since I've been moderating.

    - I had a fairly healthy eating day, with a cabbage roll made with 93/7 ground beef for dinner. I did have a little buffalo wing dip for a snack, which sometimes the hot sauce messes with my stomach.
    _ I watched an episode of of Big Little Lies before I went to bed, the one that one of the girls recalls being raped and has a hallucination that someone is breaking into her house. I went to sleep very disturbed.
    _ I think that I'm pretty much over menopause. I'm on the tail end of it for sure.
    _ And yes the day's stress went to bed with me also.

    Do you think that one glass of wine made me feel like that? Or do you think it was the general combination of the whole evening? All thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

    If one glass of wine did that to me, I'm not sure that it was worth it to drink it at all ...
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