Less Alcohol- April 2018- One Day at a Time
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Last night was hard. I actually asked my husband if I would be a failure if I had wine at the party before I left the house. I was in the mindset that I would try, but I would probably end up drinking. But I refrained! I brought my own NA drink and sipped on that instead. Another friend wasn't drinking either, so that helped. 2/3 social events down. Although I got invited to a concert tonight (I get to go for free, so that's awesome), so there is another event where I would normally drink. It's super expensive to buy drinks at the venue (like $8/beer), so that will help to say no.
Happy Friday, everyone!8 -
I had a rough day yesterday and when I came home I fully intended to have a few drinks. But when I got home I had a glass of ice water first and by the time it was empty I had calmed down and was so glad that I did not drink. I am now 6 days AF. Had one night of drinks since April 9. It’s not a lot but more sober days in one month than I have had in probably a year.
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@CMB44512, Please don't read what I said that way! I mentioned "regulars" simply because it was easy for me to see the progression (ups and downs) of people who had posted regularly. Along the way, there were many very welcome drop-ins, but I couldn't really see their journeys, which was what I was focused on. By "friends," I meant every single person on this thread. I'm so sorry my comments came off as exclusive. I did not intend them that way! I guess I'm not very coherent at 1:30 a.m. and sleep deprived. Mea culpa.6
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I really like what @donimfp said, "don't judge your inside against someone else's outside'. We are all on different journeys. All the people on the inside of this thread and all the people on the outside of this thread.
This reminds me of a Maya Angelou tape I listened to once. She said everyone should be allowed to find 'God' in their own time. Not our time. We cannot make them find 'God' or find Him for them. They have their own lessons to learn. I always remember this every time I see someone doing something that I know will hurt them. It's not like I don't worry or don't want to help. Remembering that helps me to not judge where they are in their journey, but to just be there for them when they are ready to make changes. I think you can replace "God" with anything that you deem as a higher plane of existence.
Happy Friday!5 -
I really like what @donimfp said, "don't judge your inside against someone else's outside'. We are all on different journeys. All the people on the inside of this thread and all the people on the outside of this thread.
This reminds me of a Maya Angelou tape I listened to once. She said everyone should be allowed to find 'God' in their own time. Not our time. We cannot make them find 'God' or find Him for them. They have their own lessons to learn. I always remember this every time I see someone doing something that I know will hurt them. It's not like I don't worry or don't want to help. Remembering that helps me to not judge where they are in their journey, but to just be there for them when they are ready to make changes. I think you can replace "God" with anything that you deem as a higher plane of existence.
Happy Friday!
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Leeg5656, I love that, and it reminds me too of one of the quotes in Annie Grace's book, by Buddha: "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." It really resonates with me!5
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@CMB44512 I think she is just referring to people that have been here since Jan 1 but OF COURSE everyone is welcome, so welcome to the group!
I read something interesting on the Annie Grace page today: You don't drown by falling into the water; you only drown if you stay there."
- Zig Ziglar
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Absolutely ALL are welcome. If you look back everytime someone joins several people welcome every person.
But we have also seen many post once or twice and disappear. And that’s what was meant by “regulars.” A lot of us have gotten to know each other over the past four months cause we post weekly. On top of helping with health goals we have also talked and learned other things about each other.
And we are always hoping to find new “regulars” 5 -
@donimfp - wow a mini Italian vacay with that gelato! Sounds yummy, and congrats on your new streak!
@lporter229 - those mocktails look amazing - thank you. I love your idea about one with dinner. I'm working on using my gigantic wine glass for grapefruit juice and seltzer but I definitely need more ideas.
@JulieAL1969 - I'd be jealous too. Sometimes you just want to let loose and eat and drink whatever you feel like. One way of looking at it is to maybe project forward to the next day and how you'd be feeling - hungover, regretful, pissed. You do not want to feel that way. In my better moments, I can do that, but it is sure a struggle sometimes.
@Alzzi76 - ack, so sorry you're struggling. The good thing is none of what's gone on with you is irreversible or life altering. Hoping you can put it behind you, not agonize, and move on. We have all been there. The main thing is you're here, you care and you're trying, so kudos. The easy thing to do would be to give up.
I'm trying for a second weekend of no alcohol. We have no plans, and my new theory is to drink only on "special" occasions, i.e. when we go out somewhere. We shall see. So right now have been AF since 4/15. Hoping to make it til our cruise on 5/14. Again, we shall see.6 -
I had another work trip this week and I did drink at dinner most evenings. My "success" in mindful moderation was that this was the first work trip that I didn't order an extra glass to take up to my room after dinner, OR sneak back down to the bar after saying good night to colleagues in the hotel lobby to get another glass of wine on my own tab so that it didn't seem like I was overindulging on the company dime.
I am planning to be AF tonight and tomorrow even though I usually imbibe on weekends - BUT Sunday I have tickets for a local event called "Rose All Sunday" with some girl friends. I really am looking forward to it, I'm not even too concerned about over indulging, like I was with earlier alcohol focused events since the beginning of the year.
Looking at my April tally of days with alcohol and days without, as well as the total number of drinks - it is MUCH higher than I wanted and MUCH higher than Jan/Feb were. I think I knew this was coming as the warmer weather started and there were more social outings. I hope I'm not just fooling myself when I look at the totals and try to find positives in the numbers like the ones I listed above. I feel so much more in control than I was, but I'm cognizant that I could do a lot better with really cutting back, for health and to avoid that slippery slope.7 -
@JulieAL1969, sending you hugs. Thanks for your honesty. Someone warned me about judging my “inside” in relation to someone else’s outside. The horrible times you’ve described in your own past drinking days (your description, not mine): I’d bet you appeared to be a happy party girl then (to outsiders) but you knew different.
I’ve just reread Naked Mind. AG speaks quite a bit about our FOMO and how it’s not based in reality of what we’re actually “missing”.
Hang in there!
Very wise you are. I probably was the happy party girl disguising a horrible hangover. Great point!1 -
All are welcome, of course.
One of my favorite philosophy books is called The Four Agreements. I have read that thing many times. There are four agreements to follow in life. They are nearly impossible for me to do. LOL
One agreement is "Never make assumptions". Another is "Don't take anything Personally. " Please feel free to comment and join us. No one meant to exclude you. Xo We love newcomers, too.5 -
In Ft. Worth with a sad family situation. It’s been a sad day for me all around. But cuddling with a granddaughter is a great cure-all.9
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WinoGelato wrote: »
Looking at my April tally of days with alcohol and days without, as well as the total number of drinks - it is MUCH higher than I wanted and MUCH higher than Jan/Feb were. I think I knew this was coming as the warmer weather started and there were more social outings. I hope I'm not just fooling myself when I look at the totals and try to find positives in the numbers like the ones I listed above. I feel so much more in control than I was, but I'm cognizant that I could do a lot better with really cutting back, for health and to avoid that slippery slope.
I know exactly where you are coming from. I wouldn’t say you are fooling yourself with the numbers. I know a lot of us feel we could do better, but also like you said, feel so much more in control than we were. I guess there is always room for improvement with most things in life. And at least we have this awesome group to come to and be honest.
I also know how you feel with the warmer weather situation. There are more events to go to, more places opening up. And I want to enjoy those places - as long as I don’t get back to my ways like last winter. Personally I think I will reevaluate my goals for the summer. I will probably realistically allow myself a second night of moderate drinking on some weeks. And if I see a problem and my weight loss comes to a yield I will have to reevaluate once again.3 -
I'm all ready for my flight tomorrow am. Supposed to be in bed, and will be soon. Have been too excited to sleep. Seeing the grandkids tomorrow! Have to be up in 4 1/2 hrs. Drinking water now but drank more beer than I wanted to tonight. I won't be hungover but still...5
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I'm trying to not look at others and think, "gee I wish I could be drinking wine too" but instead, "I'm so glad to be enjoying this (mocktail of choice) and not worrying about what that wine would be doing to me". I have to turn it into a positive thing, not a deprivation. Whoever on here said, "do it for the tomorrow me...the tomorrow me will appreciate not having a hangover, doing something embarrassing or not remembering what I said to someone etc." That sentiment has helped me tremendously. Again, I don't remember who mentioned it but thank you. I always find inspiration from this group. 8
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