Anyone else not telling???

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  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    I find this to be a really touchy subject for me. I want to succeed and I have tried and failed so many times. My family/fiancé are an awesome support system, but I find when they critique me, that I get very defensive, and I don't think that helps anyone. I think from here on out I want to just keep it to myself, because this about me, not anyone else but me. I need to get healthy and do this for me. Once we are married we are thinking about having a baby, and I WILL NOT get pregnant at the weight I am at. I have to be healthier so that IF I do get pregnant that I can be healthy from the get go and hopefully continue to be active through my pregnancy
    Would it be an option to put all your cards on the table? I think often people don't do the obvious - choose open and friendly communication - but either say nothing or scream at each other. My idea was for you to just say how you feel about the project, tell them it's still new and you're struggling a bit, so would it be possible for the discussions to take place only when you bring the topic up? Perhaps think a bit more about what you would need from them, then give clear examples of it, so they know how you mean it? Just a thought, because I don't think it's necessary to always do some kind of extreme in communication, but perhaps people could make a bit of effort in not pushing their own agenda, when someone else is working hard on changing their lifestyle. And picking your own perspective only during a challenging discussion is even better, rather than "You always...".
  • luckynky
    luckynky Posts: 123 Member
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    I told my husband for two reasons: 1) I wanted to make myself more accountable. If I told him I'm going to do it, then I am more likely to follow through. 2) I really am hoping that he joins me at some point. He seems really impressed that I've lost this much weight so far and have been sticking with it for 2 1/2 months. Hoping that he will feel a little peer pressure to get into shape, too. ;)
  • pennie63
    pennie63 Posts: 10
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    LOL! You're funny. We are about the same weight and wanting to lose about the same ! I think it takes a good 15 pound for people to start to notice you are losing weight ! Good for you doing P90X !! You can friend me if you'd like. We can always use motivators!
  • water_coloured
    water_coloured Posts: 81 Member
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    I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight because all they say is, "OMG you don't need to lose weight!"

    I heard somewhere that when you tell others you are going to start doing something (ie. losing weight, exercising every day), you are actually less likely to accomplish that goal. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but that may be the case for some people.
  • superfox12082
    superfox12082 Posts: 512 Member
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    I lost 20 pound and my boyfriend never said a word. And yes, it was noticeable:huh: . Men!
  • angelique_redhead
    angelique_redhead Posts: 782 Member
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    My DH (not necessarily Darling Husband) knows. I was on another diet site and couldn't get MFP to work for me because I wasn't clicking in the right places. His doctor read him the riot act September 20, 2012 when he went in for an appointment and had a 10.6 A1C and I was able to go back on my diet because he had been told to lose weight at 296 pounds. I dieted with him and he showed me how to use MFP which the doctor's nutritionalist had turned him on to. He quit several months ago and gained all but about 10 pounds back but I just kept on plodding and lost 21 more pounds. Now he's decided to get back on the program. :D Most of my other friends know. They don't try to sabotage me because they know as a diabetic I eat what I can and if I don't eat it it's either not gong to help my blood sugars or I probably shouldn't have it. One of my friends knows that if I haven't eaten and I need to that 1 ounce of cheese will do me good. :) Lately I've gotten a lot of compliments on my weight loss but I've lost about 23% of my body weight since September 20.
  • flitabout
    flitabout Posts: 200 Member
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    Well everybody in my house knows I am trying to eat different but I swear I have been so up and down for the last 3 years since I had my last baby. But I get really funny looks when I am running around scanning barcodes on my phone!
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I feel like your husband might not ever outright comment on your actual weight loss. In men's minds that is a recipe for disaster. He might not know if you will respond in a stereotypical way by thinking he thought you were fat before. I personally never kept this from my boyfriend, and he has been nothing but supportive and complimentary the entire time.


    ha ha you got that right. My dh never says anything first about my weight. When I did tell him I was losing again, he was very encouraging, and continues to tell me how well I'm doing. But he has learned over the many years that we have been together to NEVER offer a comment on my weight !
  • jlear001
    jlear001 Posts: 6 Member
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    Wow, that has to be hard! You should be so proud of your weight loss so far!!
  • abetterbrandi
    abetterbrandi Posts: 131
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    I've told my boyfriend, and a few people close to me. I'm not announcing it. My results will speak volumes!
  • keg619
    keg619 Posts: 356 Member
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    The first time I lost weight I told everyone how much I was losing each week and the total loss, all the time. I lost 65 pounds in 6 months. The weight loss slowed down, and the compliments stopped rolling in, which had an effect on my motivation. I eventually gained back 120 pounds.

    This time around I didn't tell anyone, and only mentioned it when people asked me. I'm not keeping it a secret, but I don't want to make the same mistake I did last time. Almost all of my friends now know, since I have lost quite a bit, but the only time I will really talk about it is if they have questions or offer a compliment. I lost 90 pounds in the first 8 months, plateaued for about a year and then slowly gained back 25 pounds the last couple of months. Now that I am back on track with healthy eating and losing the weight I don't feel like it's a necessity to let everyone know. MFP is the only place that I display my losses for everyone to see.

    For me, it's more motivating when I just have myself to rely on. If I keep needing compliments from other people or support from them, I will probably go back to the way I was when that supports dwindles.
  • Tigermum9
    Tigermum9 Posts: 546 Member
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    All my family are either skinny or fat and proud, so any form of diet or exercise does not interest any of them in the slightest. \not a supportive family!

    I keep it all to myself x
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    My sister knows because the other day she asked what time it was and I looked in my bra to tell her.


    LOL!
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight because all they say is, "OMG you don't need to lose weight!"

    I heard somewhere that when you tell others you are going to start doing something (ie. losing weight, exercising every day), you are actually less likely to accomplish that goal. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but that may be the case for some people.

    Interesting. I have often heard the opposite - that telling leads to accountability. I wonder if the difference is in the reason for telling.
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    So many people are the type that need the support of others to lose weight and be healthy. My MIL is always like, "Oh, will you come walking with me?" Blah blah bah. I am not that person at all.

    I made the decision to get in better shape over 2.5 years ago. I really didn't tell anyone. I just did it. It wasn't a 'I'm going on diet in the new year', or 'summer is coming, I want to look good in a bathing suit', kinda thing. I seriously just woke up one morning and decided, screw this being out of shape nonsense. I knew accountability was a big thing for me, so I downloaded the MFP app on my iPhone and religiously logged calories for weeks. Next thing I knew, I was down 18lbs. Eventually those around me started to notice that I was being more conscious of what I was eating, and I was walking my dog a couple of times a day. When they asked what I was doing, I told them.

    I have never been the kind of person who needs recognition or ego stroking. I like it when it comes my way, but I don't seek it. So, losing weight and being more physically fit makes me a happier person. That is enough of a motivator to keep me on track.

    Rereading the above makes me sound a bit like a loner. I am definitely a people person, but I am also more then comfortable doing my own thing too.

    Good luck to all!
    MB
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    Why is hardship of various kinds embarrassing? Everybody struggles at some point in their life and on some people the weight will tell, in others the mess will be on the inside.

    True dat.
  • laylaness
    laylaness Posts: 262 Member
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    My boyfriend knows; when I started logging, he did too, a couple of weeks after I did. He's really supportive. And it's nice to talk about what we eat and get new ideas for lunch or whatever. We don't cook that much (we're lazy), but we help each other make better choices when we go to the grocery store.

    He's also proud of me for starting Insanity. He's allergic to working out, but he encourages me to.
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
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    There have been many times that I haven't told anyone. But this time I decided to tell pretty much everyone important to me. I figure it will be harder for me to quit since I have told people. When I kept it a secret it was easy to secretly quit too.
  • iDuchaine
    iDuchaine Posts: 12 Member
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    Told my bf and he's been pretty helpful. Haven't told him how much (don't think he'd be as supportive of me losing another 20), just focusing on the 'healthy active lifestyle' part. It's rubbing off on him; he's probably lost 10lbs in the past month and a half without trying too hard.
  • myzticsunshine
    myzticsunshine Posts: 20 Member
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    my husband really likes my bigger frame -_-" so while he sees i work out he buys pizza or m&ms and trys to tell me I need to eat . Sigh lol , so no i havent told him


    I'm surprised he wouldn't notice 100IBs lost! Lmao, good job! Also I understand liking a big frame, but also it's just so much healthier to be active and eat right (not even necessarily diet). So being the fact that he cares for you, a man should totally be down for his woman loosing weight because she wants to lea a happier more fit lifestyle

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