Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
Replies
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@Norminv, have you ever considered writing country music?
I'm glad you're back, too. And thanks to you and others for understanding that slippery slope. That and watching the Sober School video from yesterday have made me determined that today will be a good Day 1.
maybe there is a career change in my future
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@mgiron, thank you for recommending Jason Vale's book. I read it yesterday, cover to cover. Much of what he says echoes Annie Grace (or she echoes him), but much of what he says is totally new to me. He has a very refreshing take on addiction to alcohol. I've been a "day-counter" during these months--as in, "Today is Day 12." But he contends doing this is remaining under the influence of alcohol because it's focusing on how long one has resisted something attractive. He likens it to Nelson Mandela being released from prison after 20-something years and then counting each day of freedom rather than just putting prison behind him and moving on and enjoying his new life. Good thoughts.6
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I have been looking and so far I am not finding a lot of information out there for moderation. Specifically I am trying to find out how to reset my alcohol tolerance. Some articles advertised assistance in their titles but really talked about the dangers of alcohol until the final paragraph with a little unhelpful blurb about resetting tolerance taking time or heavily limited drinking without any meaningful specifics.
It makes sense I suppose. Quitting altogether is the primary focus and helping someone to continue to drink is not a priority. I would also imagine that most doctors do not want to give advice on safer ways to drink because it could be a liability.
Unfortunately I really only have anecdotal information so far but it appears that 2 weeks of abstinence will do some good and it could take 4 months to get close to zero tolerance. I can confirm that when I was drinking once every other week under my original moderation plan my tolerance was slightly lower.
Before I jump on the 4 month plan though I plan to look into it a little further.
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I have gone a week without any alcohol. My goal is to get to the 4th of July and then I may have a glass or two of wine. That will have been 2 weeks without alcohol.6
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@mgiron, thank you for recommending Jason Vale's book. I read it yesterday, cover to cover. Much of what he says echoes Annie Grace (or she echoes him), but much of what he says is totally new to me. He has a very refreshing take on addiction to alcohol. I've been a "day-counter" during these months--as in, "Today is Day 12." But he contends doing this is remaining under the influence of alcohol because it's focusing on how long one has resisted something attractive. He likens it to Nelson Mandela being released from prison after 20-something years and then counting each day of freedom rather than just putting prison behind him and moving on and enjoying his new life. Good thoughts.
The day counting thing is interesting. I have wondered about that since I have been participating in these threads. In the past when I would go for an AF month the day counting made the whole thing drag on and on it seemed. The beginning days were really no fun when the numbers were low and the going was much tougher. Mentally I would think it had been twice as long because it was rough and then to add it up to find out it had only been 6 LONG days was not encouraging. Of course someone else might find comfort in counting. I suppose it depends on the person.
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I have been looking and so far I am not finding a lot of information out there for moderation. Specifically I am trying to find out how to reset my alcohol tolerance. Some articles advertised assistance in their titles but really talked about the dangers of alcohol until the final paragraph with a little unhelpful blurb about resetting tolerance taking time or heavily limited drinking without any meaningful specifics.
It makes sense I suppose. Quitting altogether is the primary focus and helping someone to continue to drink is not a priority. I would also imagine that most doctors do not want to give advice on safer ways to drink because it could be a liability.
Unfortunately I really only have anecdotal information so far but it appears that 2 weeks of abstinence will do some good and it could take 4 months to get close to zero tolerance. I can confirm that when I was drinking once every other week under my original moderation plan my tolerance was slightly lower.
Before I jump on the 4 month plan though I plan to look into it a little further.
I can say that my tolerance has really gone down, and that is considering the longest I have gone witthout a drink in the past 6 months is only 2 weeks. Since I have cut back to just moderate drinking once a week though, it doesn’t take much. I used to be the type who couldn’t get drunk on light beer. I needed 10% abv craft beer and many shots. Now I basically only drink light beer. And there is a real nice bottle of good whiskey I got for Xmas. There is still half of the bottle left. In my old ways that would have been gone before the Super Bowl4 -
I used to mark the dry days with a sticker on my calendar but I've also decided to stop counting as well. It feels like too much pressure to me.2
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I can say that my tolerance has really gone down, and that is considering the longest I have gone witthout a drink in the past 6 months is only 2 weeks. Since I have cut back to just moderate drinking once a week though, it doesn’t take much. I used to be the type who couldn’t get drunk on light beer. I needed 10% abv craft beer and many shots. Now I basically only drink light beer. And there is a real nice bottle of good whiskey I got for Xmas. There is still half of the bottle left. In my old ways that would have been gone before the Super Bowl
That is very helpful information. Drinking less even semi-regularly was one of the ways mentioned to reduce tolerance. As I said, mine is lower too but I am not back to my original moderation days which is where I would like to be. Of course I have a few extra pounds than previous moderation me had so that is a factor too. Has your tolerance reduction coincided with weight loss as well? It seems like it should. I am making decent strides in the weight loss department and perhaps until I make more I won't get back to my previous tolerance completely.
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I like counting days. Today is 2 months AF. I do not think everyday is this number but my goal was basically 2 months so I feel accomplished.7
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I have a little running tally sheet with three columns: AF, A, and # of drinks. I've been keeping track since January. I'm not sure it's motivating for me with my mindful moderation goal anymore, I was thinking about stopping tracking after June ends since it's been 6 months. It was very enlightening at first to see how many drinks/day or /week I was consuming, even after trying to restrict. I've got myself into a pretty good pattern now I can usually plan for 2-4 drinking days/week and 2-3 drinks on the days I do drink. I know that's still quite a bit more than many light drinkers, or even moderate drinkers - but I no longer feel concerned that I CAN'T stop or abstain for extended periods of time, that I am going to be overindulging every time I drink, etc.
I will still definitely participate in these threads as I enjoy the support and the friendship here - but I do know that sometimes talking about moderating may be hard for those of you really struggling and trying to fully abstain, so I want to be conscious of that. It's also sometimes hard for me to hear these testimonies from the books/resources that there is no such thing as moderation, or that those who think we can do it are fooling ourselves, because that's in the back of my mind always. I feel like I'm successful with what I'm doing, but there is lingering doubt when I hear others talk about these long periods of going AF and how great they feel - that's never really been my goal to never drink again. To @NovusDies point, the current resources seem to focus far more on abstaining than moderating so maybe we should write our own book!7 -
I am not always comfortable with talk of moderation here either and I have thought about the cucumber/pickle thing quite a bit even though I have yet to respond to it. I do want everyone that has chosen a time period or a permanent plan of abstinence that I am rooting for you and I never want anything I type here to be tempting.
I like the idea of writing a book. The first chapter would have to help a person identify whether or not they are a moderate drinker, a person caught up in their own lies, or a little of both... not an easy task. I have definitely spent time as a little of both.3 -
Dont worry about expressing your feelings either way about moderation or abstinence . I think if someone is going to drink, they will drink despite our thread. I like reading everyone's ideas and I piece together in my mind what works for me. I am not swayed by people who drink regularly but keep it together. I love hearing all views. Xo5
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WinoGelato wrote: »I have a little running tally sheet with three columns: AF, A, and # of drinks. I've been keeping track since January. I'm not sure it's motivating for me with my mindful moderation goal anymore, I was thinking about stopping tracking after June ends since it's been 6 months. It was very enlightening at first to see how many drinks/day or /week I was consuming, even after trying to restrict. I've got myself into a pretty good pattern now I can usually plan for 2-4 drinking days/week and 2-3 drinks on the days I do drink. I know that's still quite a bit more than many light drinkers, or even moderate drinkers - but I no longer feel concerned that I CAN'T stop or abstain for extended periods of time, that I am going to be overindulging every time I drink, etc.
I will still definitely participate in these threads as I enjoy the support and the friendship here - but I do know that sometimes talking about moderating may be hard for those of you really struggling and trying to fully abstain, so I want to be conscious of that. It's also sometimes hard for me to hear these testimonies from the books/resources that there is no such thing as moderation, or that those who think we can do it are fooling ourselves, because that's in the back of my mind always. I feel like I'm successful with what I'm doing, but there is lingering doubt when I hear others talk about these long periods of going AF and how great they feel - that's never really been my goal to never drink again. To @NovusDies point, the current resources seem to focus far more on abstaining than moderating so maybe we should write our own book!
I am in the same boat as your are. Sometimes I feel bad about talking about being succesful with moderation. And all of the resources really are for ppl who need to cut out drinkig all together.
But I also want to keep participating in this group. A lot of ppl here are friends now and I like keeping up with them. Ups and downs. And there isn’t a more supportive group!6 -
I can say that my tolerance has really gone down, and that is considering the longest I have gone witthout a drink in the past 6 months is only 2 weeks. Since I have cut back to just moderate drinking once a week though, it doesn’t take much. I used to be the type who couldn’t get drunk on light beer. I needed 10% abv craft beer and many shots. Now I basically only drink light beer. And there is a real nice bottle of good whiskey I got for Xmas. There is still half of the bottle left. In my old ways that would have been gone before the Super Bowl
That is very helpful information. Drinking less even semi-regularly was one of the ways mentioned to reduce tolerance. As I said, mine is lower too but I am not back to my original moderation days which is where I would like to be. Of course I have a few extra pounds than previous moderation me had so that is a factor too. Has your tolerance reduction coincided with weight loss as well? It seems like it should. I am making decent strides in the weight loss department and perhaps until I make more I won't get back to my previous tolerance completely.
It definitely coincides with the weight loss. I am down 24 lbs over 6 months. With about 30-40 more to go. By then I might get drunk off 2 light beers!7 -
I'm new to the thread but I haven't had a drink since Father's Day... and I've set a goal to the 4th of July! …. Nice reading your stories.11
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Even though I wanted a drink badly yesterday after a rough day, I even looked up the calorie intake and everything..ha. I didn't have one.11
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I am in the same boat as your are. Sometimes I feel bad about talking about being succesful with moderation. And all of the resources really are for ppl who need to cut out drinkig all together.
But I also want to keep participating in this group. A lot of ppl here are friends now and I like keeping up with them. Ups and downs. And there isn’t a more supportive group!
I suppose in a way it is up to us to talk about it enough to make it comfortable for others who might need help or guidance with moderation... or at least a safe place to discuss it.
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I can say that my tolerance has really gone down, and that is considering the longest I have gone witthout a drink in the past 6 months is only 2 weeks. Since I have cut back to just moderate drinking once a week though, it doesn’t take much. I used to be the type who couldn’t get drunk on light beer. I needed 10% abv craft beer and many shots. Now I basically only drink light beer. And there is a real nice bottle of good whiskey I got for Xmas. There is still half of the bottle left. In my old ways that would have been gone before the Super Bowl
That is very helpful information. Drinking less even semi-regularly was one of the ways mentioned to reduce tolerance. As I said, mine is lower too but I am not back to my original moderation days which is where I would like to be. Of course I have a few extra pounds than previous moderation me had so that is a factor too. Has your tolerance reduction coincided with weight loss as well? It seems like it should. I am making decent strides in the weight loss department and perhaps until I make more I won't get back to my previous tolerance completely.
It definitely coincides with the weight loss. I am down 24 lbs over 6 months. With about 30-40 more to go. By then I might get drunk off 2 light beers!
I'm down 23 lbs and have definitely noticed a tolerance reduction. I thought I was imagining it.3 -
I like the theory behind the alcohol experiment. I think it is helpful to go without for a bit to explore your thoughts on how alcohol affects you and why you drink. I do not think this is a one size fit all thing for anyone. I am 2 months af today. I think I needed the break and I have lost weight (which was the original goal). I would like to moderate I just have not figured that out yet.4
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As someone who has concluded I simply cannot moderate, may I say that I like reading everyone’s posts, including those of you on the moderation path. Please don’t censor yourselves for the sake of those of us aiming for complete AF living. I find all the different approaches and experiences very informative.7
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As someone who has concluded I simply cannot moderate, may I say that I like reading everyone’s posts, including those of you on the moderation path. Please don’t censor yourselves for the sake of those of us aiming for complete AF living. I find all the different approaches and experiences very informative.
DITTO!! Each of us has our own personal goals. I have tried over the years to abstain for varying lengths of time with the goal of drinking in moderation at some point, but I cannot. I wish I could and if others are working toward that goal & are able to moderate then "good on ya." The thread is named "less alcohol" in June so we can all keep supporting each other without judgement.
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Day 3 - dry baby13
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Thanks everybody. Happy to keep participating I just wanted to make sure that talking about moderating wasn’t making anyone uncomfortable.8
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Day 4. I have the idea already in my head that I want to drink Saturday and 4th of July.... what I’m scared is that it will be a domino effect and I’ll just keep going on everyday. Just like food. Once I step off the train it lasts for awhile until I get back on.4
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I for one enjoy reading ALL the posts, from those that still drink every day but are at least mindful, to those that abstain completely. Please continue to participate.7
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Famof72015 wrote: »Day 4. I have the idea already in my head that I want to drink Saturday and 4th of July.... what I’m scared is that it will be a domino effect and I’ll just keep going on everyday. Just like food. Once I step off the train it lasts for awhile until I get back on.
That may or may not happen. Depends on you. Or you could try a holiday without having alcohol. If I step off the train, I'm like you, it takes a while to get back on.3 -
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Famof72015 wrote: »Day 4. I have the idea already in my head that I want to drink Saturday and 4th of July.... what I’m scared is that it will be a domino effect and I’ll just keep going on everyday. Just like food. Once I step off the train it lasts for awhile until I get back on.
One of the things I have learned about myself is that in your situation I had already made up my mind to "get off the train". I might not have realized it at the time but that fear and all of its trappings were just a way to make sure it happened. I wanted to be weak because being weak meant drinking outside of my goals. When I am convinced I can stop that is just what I do.
The weird thing I have found about arguing with myself is that it is not a fair fight. I thought it was and I thought the moderating side of me had a chance in those situations. It turns out that when I felt the way you do in the analogy of bringing a knife to a gun fight the moderating side of me had the knife.
Knowing what is true and what is a lie helps me but what is true about me may not be true of you.4 -
What I also should have added is that when I am convinced I can stop I might have urges but usually it is the moderating side of me that the upper hand.3
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