WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2018

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  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,252 Member
    Ppp
  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,313 Member
    Machka - That's what we are here for. We will listen when you need to vent. Unfortunately our replies aren't in real time. It's not the same, but it is what we can offer.

    Lisa - In my case, my hubs has friends that he talks to, but it is normally sports, cars, work or something along those lines. My friends all say about the same thing. I think boys are just wired differently. For the most part, they don't do the emotional talking that we do.

    Okie
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,649 Member
    Rye - (((HUGS)))). There's a part of me a bit like you as well. When we were first married, he was the social Mr. Fun guy, ladies magnet and I was the rather-stay-at-home gal as I wasn't comfortable with crowds or people I didn't know or have much in common with.

    To me, the thing about marriage and long term relationships (even friendships) is that it's never "even". As the years go by, we give different things in different amounts. I think my DH gets discouraged that in his eyes, it's not close to even anymore - but as long as I have other avenues (sometimes more than I'm comfortable with) to refresh my social energy when I need to, I'm fine.

    Sending many good thoughts your way!! <3 Your John is a treasure!

    Lanette
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,252 Member
    [[[[[[[[[
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Rebecca. Have you tried the Epley maneuvers someone mentioned? It might help your vertigo resolve.
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
    Heather ~ Y'all look very handsome. :):)
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Heather Fabulous.
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
    Heather, I'm whistling my best "wheet whooo" at the two of you. You are a beautiful couple <3. I'm LOVING the photos!!

    Janetr OKC
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,611 Member
    BFFs
    My BFF left her pain in this world in 2005, don't think I'll ever be blessed with another. Fortunately I'm ok with the sea of acquaintances and VERY thankful for the gals on this thread.

    Men's emotional vs social needs
    Joe will call his brother and accept his father's calls.... sometimes. Has one friend from a job 3 years ago that he really hopes will come and visit, but do they chat on the phone? nope. Not even sure I serve that function for him, he's pretty self-contained ;)

    Lisa lovely setting! 11 acres just right. Fingers X'd. even tho' it's offered "as is" can an inspection alert you to structural, termite, roofing, wiring, plumbing issues? You are so on point about this thread. Love y'all right back.
    Lanette, Neither do I get along with the Medicare and CMS search engines... but I'm stubborn ;)
    Medicare and removal of ruptured breast implants:
    Thank you. Her first choice (breast) surgeon would not even give her a consult appointment, but referred her to a plastic surgeon who accepted a 50% down payment and will take monthly payments for the rest, but that's only for his fee, not the surgery center nor anesthesiologist. The NIH link says Medicare coverage varies by state?!? but when I followed the link to Oregon got "sorry not found" Dug around a little more and found this from LCDId=346988
    "2. Removal or revision of a breast implant is considered medically necessary when it is removed for one of the
    following reasons:
    a. Mechanical complication of breast prosthesis; including rupture or failed implant, and/or implant extrusion.
    . . .
    https://www.cms.gov/medicare-coverage-database/details/lcd-details.aspx?LCDId=34698&amp;ver=23&amp;SearchType=Advanced&amp;CoverageSelection=Local&amp;ArticleType=SAD|Ed&amp;PolicyType=Both&amp;s=-&amp;AdvSearchName=8&amp;KeyWord=plastic&amp;KeyWordLookUp=Doc&amp;KeyWordSearchType=Exact&amp;kq=true&amp;kq=343279627&amp;ua=highwire&amp;displayPDFNote=Y&amp;bc=IAAAACABAAAA&amp;

    Don't understand why her surgeons told her Medicare would reject? She's had a breast MRI that confirms the impants are both ruptured. UNLESS neither surgeon is a Medicare Participating Provider who does not take assignment (can bill up to 115% of medicare approved amount) or has opted out from Medicare (can bill whatever). You'd think her insurance agent would explain this to her if that's the case. What an education! It all stinks to me, but I'll wait to discuss with the other class members Wednesday
    Karen in Va, I think your BFF loss grief is worse than mine. (((hugs)))
    Tracey in AB must have been so hard for you to call authorities when your bipolar friend was threatening herself.
    Long story:
    I had an "adopted but not really" baby brother R who even wheeled my papa up the aisle when Joe and I married. I lost R for forty years after I hand delivered a letter to his shrink listing my fears that he had the means and intent to take his own life. He went ballistic, threatening me, even my Mama. Joe got us a lawyer and made it clear to R that he must never EVER come around again. 2 years ago R contacted me through FB, apologized and asked for forgiveness. Some months (and very pertinent sermons) later, I was able to. I have not asked Joe to forgive R, nor do I talk to R on the phone around Joe, but I'm thankful R is still alive and we have contact.
    Okie glad your landscape guy only takes several of days to work up an estimate, we've been waiting since MAY 15th for the roof repairers estimate.
    Rye "Maybe we should have his best friend from work and wife over for dinner soon! . . . it could even be fun . . ." Brava!
    Rita "Medicare paid for my impant removal" Thanks, that's VERY encouraging!
    Heather Va va va VOOOM!

    Oops, where DOES the time go?
    f8qt1s098sxm.gifBarbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD.
    60 g protein 8/10, meditate 9/10, walk one more step 9/10, knee exercises 9/10, 5/8 times walk Tumble, times SWSY 0/4, hang up or purge art 0
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Kelly young adults make many blunders before they decide what kind of person they want to be. I wish your young friend had taken the olive branch. I would have.

    I know two women, friends from HS, with a story like yours. It took years for the straight friend to forgive the gay friend for being gay, but she finally did, at the gay friend's father's funeral. Unfortunately, they had only a few years to be friends again, because the straight friend has Alzheimer's, and doesn't even know her own husband anymore.

    These two women are part of a group of 5 of us who were good friends in HS. There are a couple of others who have joined in since then, and at least 4 of the group gets together every 6 months for the last 35 years to spend a weekend together and catch up. I am the farthest away, so don't get to go as often. My former best friend is not part of that group, but she is friends with some of them, so it's complicated.

    Fortunately, all of my friends exept my best friend were unimpressed with my revelation that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a woman, and are perplexed that my former best friend would sacrifice a wonderful friendship instead of figuring out a way to adjust.

    I am grateful that most of my old buddies don't care one way or the other.

    This group is interesting; gay & straight, conservative & liberal, all levels of education, working & retired, single & married, religious & atheist...I really don't know why we are such good friends, but we are...I really cherish my relationships with other women, including those on this thread.

    My partner has her own group of women friends and a best friend from HS.

    Then we have some mutual friends, men and women. Lots of friends for two introverted people!

    When I was married (twice), both husbands had buddies they spent time with. I liked that. I thought that their friendships and interests which did not involve me made them more interesting people.


    Karen in Virginia

    Somestimes, being complete opposites can be the one thing you have in common. You just all have the gift of adapting, adjusting and a simple appreciation of each other. That's that's awesome!
    Rebecca
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Rebecca. Have you tried the Epley maneuvers someone mentioned? It might help your vertigo resolve.

    I do them twice a day. * insert thumbs up sign*
    Rebecca
  • coastalgosgal
    coastalgosgal Posts: 2,900 Member
    edited June 2018
    Heather, Lovely picture of you two!!! I notice your dangily red earrings you had bought a couple months ago! Perfect pairing!
    Rebecca
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,946 Member
    LisaInNCNow wrote: »
    On the subject of best friends - just a question for y'all... after a little bit of explanation.

    Both of the men I married were not, apparently, interested in making friends outside our marriage. The ex- and I had one "couple" friendship, and he got them in the divorce (long story short, he needed them more than I did). During our marriage, I was the one who kept that relationship going, but apparently he continues to visit them regularly since our divorce. I don't.

    My current and final husband simply doesn't reach out for friendships. Lots of acquaintances, guys he works with that feel comfortable calling him, that kind of thing. He doesn't ever call, text or email them, but will take their calls.

    I depend heavily on my best friend's advice, comfort, and just hearing her voice on the phone regularly. She does the same with me... when we've played phone tag for a couple days in a row, the messages start getting more urgent. There is no one like that in his life. He's also not terribly close with his family (12 brothers and sisters), though there have been a lot more calls to him of late, of course, due to their father's death. I'm not terribly close with mine either--I see one sister once or twice a year, and that's about it.

    But in terms of emotional support, both men had one source, and that was me. Are all/most men like that? And in those with same-sex partners, do you find that you and your partner differ in that? I know a number of us are married to men who land somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum, as well, and interested to know whether they have any source to turn to outside their marriage.

    Inquiring minds want to know!

    Lisa in AR

    My husband is the same as yours, no real friends. We don't even have any couple friends. He seems quite content just being my friend. I personally don't think this is very healthy, but it works for him. He is not very close to his family either. I talk to them more than he does. His Father and him haven't spoken in almost 2 years now and I fear that will never get resolved. He does speak to his Mother if I call her when he is around and hand him the phone. His sister and him don't talk either. I found this with a lot of my friends husbands as well, they seem to become hermits. I only have one friend whose husband is a social butterfly and she is the hermit.
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,946 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    LisaInNCNow wrote: »
    On the subject of best friends - just a question for y'all... after a little bit of explanation.


    But in terms of emotional support, both men had one source, and that was me. Are all/most men like that? And in those with same-sex partners, do you find that you and your partner differ in that? I know a number of us are married to men who land somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum, as well, and interested to know whether they have any source to turn to outside their marriage.

    Inquiring minds want to know!

    Lisa in AR

    First, I probably land somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum.

    Second, in terms of emotional support, both my husband and I have one source ... each other.


    My family is scattered around the world, and my husband's family aren't close. Neither of us have anything remotely like close friends. Just each other.

    In some ways, that has been all all right through this recent situation because it means I don't have to deal with amusing and entertaining other people. But on the other hand, occasionally, I'd like to be able to talk to someone.


    Machka in Oz

    I personally can't imagine doing what you are doing on my own without a circle of people around me. You are very strong in my eyes for being able to do it alone. I hope your husband continues to improve.

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