Women and jealousy

Last2bfirst

I know it is time to loose weight when woman are jelaous of my breast :-)

nichi123

It's just the way we're made. So what?!! Lol That what makes us special

shrinkingWITS

I'm sorry...what?


I was too busy oogling OP's picture...


Anyway....everyone gets jealous time to time. There are a million reasons why women are jealous of other women...insecurities, pressure, etc.

I don't tend to get jealous over how other women look, to be honest...cuz I think women are beautiful and hot. But there are other things that can make me jelly, that's for sure. Everyone has them....everyone's personality is different.

rml_16

True but we dont live in the same era as a Roosevelt

Eleanor would roll over in her grave if she saw the state of the world today.

I feel bad for the young women growing up today to be constantly bombarded with the shallow messages the media sends out to women.... poor girls...... thank god i am old lol

Right. Because there were no societal pressures on women in the 1940s, '50s, '60s or '70s.

Right ...

aprmay

It's not what women HAVE.. its what they DONT have..

Its called maturity. some get it sooner than others. Some never get it.

Those that have this "cattiness / jealousy" thing between other women plain & simple just havent gotten it yet!

Wow, this is one of the wisest comment I have read. Right on the nail. People can still get jealous but with maturity, some people just handle the situation better.

junejadesky

Because men make us feel we are not pretty enough. Society says we have to look a certain way. Our husbands and boyfriends have been wired to think it is ok to eyeball/fantasize about every attractive woman he meets. Becuase Porn is now main stream. Because every celebrity has a sex tape/bikkini picture. Becuase everywhere you go it is forced upon women and pressured into us to be look act a certain way.

Its hard out here for a pimpet, we have to be skinny, young, a porn star, a maid, a mother, and do all this while looking cute and never having a rotten attitude........

We never feel good enough/pretty enough so when we see another woman who is prettier or seems tohave more than we do it seems as though she has it so easy.....

It is a lot of things, also it comes with immaturity.

And yes I get jealous. No one is perfect.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

True but we dont live in the same era as a Roosevelt

Eleanor would roll over in her grave if she saw the state of the world today.

I feel bad for the young women growing up today to be constantly bombarded with the shallow messages the media sends out to women.... poor girls...... thank god i am old lol

It is an ageless quote and means just as much today as it did then. This type of attitude is EXACTLY what Eleanor was trying to diminish with that statement. Girls today need empowered women to look up to. I don't allow others (men/media/other women) to make me feel "not pretty enough" because "society" says that is how I am supposed to feel. We have control over our own feelings, so it holds true today that NO ONE can make us feel inferior unless we allow it. I don't see how it is not ageless....

I work with inner city girls to help empower them and serve as a good example of what a positive mental attitude can do. If you use the excuse that "it's the media and blah blah blah" then you are allowing someone else to influence the way you see yourself. Just by saying that you are allowing others to dictate how you see yourself. That must be a sad life full of doubt and feeling "not good enough"

DAMN THE MAN! SAVE THE EMPIRE (the geeks out there will get this)

junejadesky

True but we dont live in the same era as a Roosevelt

Eleanor would roll over in her grave if she saw the state of the world today.

I feel bad for the young women growing up today to be constantly bombarded with the shallow messages the media sends out to women.... poor girls...... thank god i am old lol

Right. Because there were no societal pressures on women in the 1940s, '50s, '60s or '70s.

Right ...

RIGHT?? LOL

EmilyEmpowered

I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.

So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.

I think this made a lot of sense! I havent thought of it that way before, but I do agree!

Fithealthyforlife

Empathy and jealousy are two sides of the same coin, imho.

In that they are total opposites?

No. Empathy/jealousy, Sympathy/shame, Love/disdain, and Pride/embarrassment are all emotions of self-awareness and awareness of others, even though one is positive and the other is negative. The capacity to feel all of these is likely related to how self-aware an individual is by default or chooses to be. Choosing the positive one in each pair over the negative counterpart has to do with the way the person views their environment.

In general, women are set up to be able to have higher levels of empathy. So, it stands to reason that having the capability for empathy comes along with that for jealousy. It's just the situation that triggers the emotion and the way the person views that particular situation, which differs and determines whether the positive emotion or the negative one is expressed. Additionally, the increased feeling that others are a presence likely explains why women are often more social, more talkative, and able to bond more readily than men (romantic love, feelings for children, etc.)

My guess is that if you could get a chronically very jealous woman to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to truly reframe the way she looks at things, you'll end up with an extremely empathic, caring woman in the end.

rml_16

Empathy and jealousy are two sides of the same coin, imho.

In that they are total opposites?

No. Empathy/jealousy, Sympathy/shame, Love/disdain, and Pride/embarrassment are all emotions of self-awareness and awareness of others, even though one is positive and the other is negative. The capacity to feel all of these is likely related to how self-aware an individual is by default or chooses to be. Choosing the positive one in each pair over the negative counterpart has to do with the way the person views their environment.

In general, women are set up to be able to have higher levels of empathy. So, it stands to reason that having the capability for empathy comes along with that for jealousy. It's just the situation that triggers the emotion and the way the person views that particular situation, which differs and determines whether the positive emotion or the negative one is expressed. Additionally, the increased feeling that others are a presence likely explains why women are often more social, more talkative, and able to bond more readily than men (romantic love, feelings for children, etc.)

My guess is that if you could get a chronically very jealous woman to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to truly reframe the way she looks at things, you'll end up with an extremely empathic, caring woman in the end.

I can get on board with that.

I've just never been a jealous person, but I am highly empathetic and becoming more so as I get older.

But I've always had a pretty good amount of self-esteem (from achievements and abilities NOT from people just telling me I'm "special.")

Juniper3411

Root Cause Analysis Dept.
Mothers with daughters: your daughter isn't going to believe you when you tell her shes beautiful one moment and the next moment look at yourself in the mirror and tear yourself apart. Father's, I think share the bulk of that responsibility and also-- leading by example towards her mother and her-- teaching his daughter what respect is.

We men step up and do that, we nip a lot of this societal, pop-culture claptrap in the bud.

OMG I am working soooo hard on this! It's so darn difficult sometimes!

Nancy_AZ60

Funny answers There is NO 'Understanding' Jealousy. Can you understand the Moon? It just IS..

Men are naturally jelouse too... they may hide it better, but let someone take their girlfriend or get a cooler car. It may come out as anger or rage or sarcasm.. still is jealousy.

Personally I think Jealousy is for those who feel inferior. At 53 years old I know now what I knew when I was 18, that there were ALWAYS prettier, younger, hotter, richer, deserving or undeserving people around. No use trying to 'compete'.

Crzymommyof2

oh this cracks me up! Not every women is like that.. Its all in how someone was brought up simple as that

hbrittingham

Empathy and jealousy are two sides of the same coin, imho.

In that they are total opposites?

No. Empathy/jealousy, Sympathy/shame, Love/disdain, and Pride/embarrassment are all emotions of self-awareness and awareness of others, even though one is positive and the other is negative. The capacity to feel all of these is likely related to how self-aware an individual is by default or chooses to be. Choosing the positive one in each pair over the negative counterpart has to do with the way the person views their environment.

In general, women are set up to be able to have higher levels of empathy. So, it stands to reason that having the capability for empathy comes along with that for jealousy. It's just the situation that triggers the emotion and the way the person views that particular situation, which differs and determines whether the positive emotion or the negative one is expressed. Additionally, the increased feeling that others are a presence likely explains why women are often more social, more talkative, and able to bond more readily than men (romantic love, feelings for children, etc.)

My guess is that if you could get a chronically very jealous woman to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy to truly reframe the way she looks at things, you'll end up with an extremely empathic, caring woman in the end.

I have to agree with a lot of what you've said here. I am a jealous woman (only when it comes to my husband) and I am a very empathatic woman. I am also an introvert and I think a lot of that is brought on by being self aware and the fear of offending someone or having them judge me. Add in low self esteem and you have the basket case that is me. LOL

MNA76

I am extremely jealous, but I don't discriminate. I'm jealous of anyone and everyone. All the time. Forever!!!

silver_arrow3

I went out with a guy I was seeing and his friend one night for dinner and the guy I was seeing opened the door for another girl (I wouldn't have minded anyway, but she was also on crutches and her boyfriend just dropped her at the curb and didn't help her at all) and his friend watched for my reaction. When I didn't have one, he asked, "You aren't jealous that he opened the door for another girl?" Apparently the girls he dates would have started a cat fight over something so stupid.

I will admit to having moments of jealousy, but I'm level-headed enough to see it for what it is and not let it affect my judgement - especially when a nice guy is just being a nice guy.

Happy_10yr

We don't like our competition.

We've been wired since we were young that we should aspire to be the prettiest girl in the room, always. Because that girl gets everything good. Beauty means everything. Its all we've been told our entire lives. So naturally, we get jealous of our competition, her presence knocks your worth down a few pegs.

Thanks for the insights!

Happy_10yr

I actually think a woman's ability to be a jealous bish is directly related to how poorly she's been treated over the years of her life. If she's young and has been treated well, she's barely ever jealous; if she's old and has been treated well she's even less jealous. If, however, she's young and has been treated poorly, she's learning to envy the lives of others and if she's old and has been treated poorly for years, she's bitter and angry and hurt... and very jealous.

So next time you wonder why someone is jealous, consider they could have been terribly hurt at one time.

Wow!!

Appreciate the perspective.

summerof1979

Dude from your profile pic you have NOTHING to be envious of *wipes drool*

I don't really get jealous, because I just know some are hotter than me, while others aren't. I am jealous of younger girls (only because I'd like to be younger but that's it really)

TheBaileyHunter

From my few years on earth and even shorter time on this forum, it's apparent that women can be jealous beings. So my question is, do women have some sort of hormone that spikes jealousy levels? Not saying men don't get jealous too, but as a man I've never looked at someone much more attractive or more built than me and actually envied him. I may aspire to be better, but I can't grasp the concept beyond that.


So, do you ladies have this hormone, and what is it called?

It's an equal opportunity madness.

Men get jealous is an understatement. Women don't have the lock on this corner of crazy town.

And I don't get it either. When someone becomes jealous it is a fear of losing someone...but we are not objects to be owned. We are people to be loved and cared about. If you love someone, you don't go all crazy, privacy invading, accusatory, control freak on them.

Same thing applies if you are feeling envy of someone else and it turns to hate for no good reason other than your own sense of confidence.

If feelings of jealousy do surface, this is your opportunity to improve yourself, not crush your partner or sling muck at someone else.

I steer heavily clear of any person who shows signs of jealousy now after seeing first hand how much crazy it involves. It's not cute. It's dangerous and destructive.